Reflecting on A Life-Changing Year

Last year at this time, I was about 16 weeks pregnant and so looking forward to 2011, the year our baby would be born. What a year it has been! I just wanted to reflect on it before it's over!
This year:

• Sam got a new job
• We emptied, painted, and prepared a baby nursery
• I had more doctor visits, sonograms, and hospital stays than I've had my entire life
• We had more snow/ice days than ever before
• We celebrated Colby, Marin, Sydney, Bryce, and Emma's first birthdays
• I made an amazing new friend, Randi, who I couldn't live without - or at least function as a pregnant-person-turned-new-mom without
• Kira, Brock, and Shelby got engaged - not to each other, of course! :)
• Mara graduated Kindergarten, and Kindle graduated high school
• I said goodbye to the idea of a little girl in my belly and began falling in love with my son moving around in my pregnant bump
• We picked a NAME for our little nugget! 
• I mourned with Cherie when she lost her grandmother, and I mourned with Robyn when she lost her uncle
• I celebrated with Laura when she married Ben
• Sam and I took several childbirth classes, and Sam got to experience being "pregnant!"
• We interviewed and chose a pediatrician for our baby
• I was awarded a PTA Lifetime membership by my school community
• We met Landry, Taryn, Theo, and lots of other friends like Ella, Myka, Shayna, Adam, Sami, Zeina, Emma, Everett, Micah, and Brayden
• Sam and I welcomed Banner into our lives
• I learned that I can't control everything, not everything goes my way or as planned, but everything can still turn out amazing
• I also learned not to judge others, that I can function on very little sleep, that I can always learn to be (even) more patient, and that eventually you don't care if you have spit up running down you or your clothes
• I ordered my blog-to-book, and now I want to post even more!
• I got to see Robyn 3 different weeks between May and July - and that was awesome - but I miss her everyday as I'm figuring out the whole motherhood thing.  (Rob-- when you coming to see us again!?!?)
• Sam and I celebrated our second anniversary, had an amazing time at Gaylord, and bought a new bed
• We Raced for the Cure and raised over $2500 to Save Second Base Again! :)
• Although we haven't solved the reflux dilemma, the eczema dilemma got solved
• Sam had his first Father's Day
• Banner had a bris and a naming, and he celebrated his first July 4th, Labor Day, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, and New Year's Eve
• I washed more bottles, bought more formula and pacifiers, changed more diapers, read more about sleep training, washed more toys, cleaned more spit-up, sucked more snot, and went to the baby stores more than I care to count. . . the good news is that I got peed on way less than I expected (thanks to my baby who, unlike most baby boys, rarely pees without a diaper on)
• I enjoyed 5 full months with Banner as a stay-at-home mom, and then I successfully went back to work while Banner loved spending time with his Grandma (Thank you, Grandma!!!)
• We lost my mother-in-law suddenly and unexpectedly, and we're still figuring out a way to move on without her
• We sat Shiva at our house, and even though it was a sad time, we got to spend time with lots of out-of-town relatives
• We learned that several of our friends are expecting babies in 2012: Gretchen, Laura, Bari, Mischelle, Julia - we can't wait to meet all of these little BOYS!
• Banner learned to hold his head up, smile, laugh, coo, grab for objects, sleep through the night, eat solids, roll over, sit up, creep, say Mama and Dada (even though we know that has no meaning to him yet), tolerate his shots, drink from a sippy cup, interact with his play date friends, squeal, reach for us, and love!

We can't wait to see what's in store for 2012! Happy New Year, Everyone!
Here's hoping it's a good, safe, healthy, and happy one!

These are a Few of My Favorite Things

Most of my winter break, I was sick... again... as usual during this time of year. As I've already discussed in a previous post, being a sick parent is awful, but I still made some amazing memories during the past couple weeks, and I want to document them here. These are some of my favorite things that happened over my winter break:

• Every morning, I took Banner's first nap of the day with him in our bed. I have missed these naps since being back at work, so it's been nice to reunite with my sleeping baby, watching him doze off snuggled up in our big bed, and catching some Z's of my own. But one morning in particular stands out. I was in a deep sleep, and Banner woke up before I did. I woke up to the soft touch of his hand on mine. When I opened my eyes, I saw him looking at me, and he was just sweeping his hand across mine as if to say gently, "Mommy. It's time to wake up, please."
• When I'm getting ready to leave the house (getting dressed, made-up, and hair done), Banner plays in his Pack-n-Play and seems to love his time in there. On a couple of occasions, I've put the TV on the "Toddler Tunes" channel so he and I can both listen to children's music. One day, "The Lion Sleeps Tonight," came on. This was a favorite of Caden & Mara's when they were itty bitty, so it was fun to pick Banner up and introduce him to this song. He just smiled and giggled as I swayed and bounced him to the "weema weh" song!
• Now that Banner can sit up unsupported, we have experimented with the bath ring (a bath seat he can sit upright in). One day, I took Banner into the shower with me, placed the bath ring on the shower floor, and I washed my hair on the floor of the shower. Now, that sounds gross, but the detachable shower head became quite the entertainment, providing a sprinkler/fountain effect for him to play in. He loved it, and I was able to shower and watch him at the same time (a challenge for any new mom, right?!).
• Baby Boy has gotten to be so animated and fun this past month or two. He's got an incredible sense of humor, and he's so fun to interact with. When our friends, Gretchen & Avi, came over one day, he was quite the entertainer! He was cracking up - and cracking us up! I loved watching Avi get Banner to just giggle away with delight. High pitched squeals, giggles, and belly laughs were abundant, and I don't think I've ever seen Banner have SO much fun before for such an extended period of time! 
• Speaking of animated, Banner's face when Sam gets home from work is priceless! Most days, when Sam makes his appearance from the garage, Banner starts bouncing and smiling. I love watching this!
• I recently took Banner on his first trip to the mall. Not only did we go to one mall, but we also went to a second mall - and the grocery store - and the baby store - and Sam's club! Yes, all in one day. I hate shopping, and I was on a roll and in the mood, so Banner was my captive helper, and he did great!! This was a fun day for both of us, as he sat in his stroller like a big boy for the first time, taking in the sights, venturing from one store to the next while Mommy tried her best to shop fast. It was the perfect day to shop - after the holidays - and we got a lot done! During the last stop, I knew I was pushing my luck, but Banner did great. The best part, for me at least, was when he was reaching for me while in the cart. I promised him I'd hold him soon, and since he fell asleep on the way home, when we got back to the house, he just slept in my arms and had a great little nap on me.
• I got in the mood one day to do some major cleaning... you can't tell now that my house was once immaculate because it doesn't stay clean long around here, but I digress. . . and I decided to vacuum. Banner used to vacuum with me as I would have him in the Bjorn, and I'd wear him around the house as I tackled the floors all over the house. Now, he loves to watch me. This particular day, he was on his play mat, and his head moved back and forth as I vacuumed around him. It was too funny as I lifted the play mat and vacuumed all around Banner. He looked fascinated with this machine, and I was fascinated watching him watch me!
• One final favorite was after another morning nap. Banner woke up after 30 minutes, much to my frustration because I was really wanting to continue my snooze. I told him I would wake up in a minute, and he just smiled at me like he always does when he wakes up. Finally, I just pulled him over the body pillow that separates us and he snuggled up close to me. Within minutes, both of us passed out again! We slept for another hour like that - just holding each other and cuddling in bed. Seriously - best cuddle ever!

I had a lot of other favorite things happen over break - including becoming addicted to the Family Feud app on my iPhone, times with family and friends, amazing holiday memories, celebrating the victory of Banner's newborn picture in a photo competition, cooking because I actually have time and desire to do it, and staying in pajamas way too long during the day! Even being sick and at times feeling like I wouldn't make it through the day feeling so icky - I have really enjoyed my time with my little family of three. My heart is so full - ready to burst open so much of the time - and I love spending these great moments every day with these special boys in my life. I just want to soak up what I can of these tender days with Banner as I feel them running away from me all too fast. I try to memorize his face, his hands, his voice, his laugh, his touch, his smell... and I miss him already... but I look forward to each new day with him, learning all about him. I continue to pray for his health, his safety, his growth, his development, his learning, his sense of security and love, his happiness. I'm pretty sure this kid knows he is so loved, but I hope he knows how proud of him we are, how happy he makes us, and how much fun we're having with him. And, if he feels even the smallest amount like we do, then he is one happy boy!

Happy Hanukkah!

A Christmas tune ("The Twelve Days of Christmas") for a Hanukkah song, as written by Amber, from the perspective of Banner, and illustrated along the way... Enjoy!

- - - - -

On the first night of Hanukkah, my parents gave to me- three board books about this holiday.

 
On the second night of Hanukkah, my parents gave to me - a Mozart cube that played music, but the instrumental sounds just made me cry. (And, earlier in the day, Grandma came over with a special set of CDs for me!)

 

On the third night of Hanukkah, my parents gave to me - a noise machine with picture projection, just like Grandma has, that will help me take my naps in my crib.

On the fourth night of Hanukkah, my parents gave to me - some toys that attach to my stroller and my car seat, a night filled with family, lots of menorahs, and tons of family memories.
(Deviating from my song here...It was also our family Hanukkah party, and I got lots of fun stuff from lots of awesome people in my life!)

 For some reason, I don't have a picture with the gift I got from Grandma & Papa, but it was a LOT of clothes!!! Here's a family picture with them, though! :)

Music Studio, Book, and Special Lullaby CD with Aunt Kiki singing on it!iph

Football Taggie Rattle from Aunt Marni, Uncle Scott, Lilly, & Jackson

SO MANY new clothes from Uncle Brock, Aunt Mischelle, Caden, & Mara

My Party Favor from Grandma & Papa

A New Coat from Aunt Jacque & Uncle Freddy, and a generous gift card from Uncle Barry & Aunt Susie

Outfits from Marin & Landry (left) and Aunt Stacy, Uncle Pat, Cody, & Eli (right)

On the fifth night of Hanukkah, my parents gave to me - 3...whale...bibs, one package of links -  filled with 26 letter shapes, more family memories, even though Grandma picked me up early from another family party!
(Deviating from my song here...It was our family holiday party with another side of the family. I got lots of great gifts from more precious people in my life!)

I didn't get many pictures with the rest of the family this night, but here's one of Mara and me!

And, here's one with my big cousin, Caden!

On the sixth night of Hanukkah, my parents gave to me - a triangle toy just like my friend, Ella, has, and I...LOVE...IT! I also got more gifts - at a family party - at Zaide's house - and I entertained the family with my growls!
(Departing from my song again... I spent some great time with my cousins, Miles & Colby, and I even said "Dada" for the first time at Zaide's house. Bubbie would have been so proud of me!! I also got even MORE stuff from my amazing family members! I also got a special gift from Bubbie.)

A fun learning toy from Aunt Gayle, Uncle Jason, Miles, & Colby

A shape sorter from NaNa and Uncle Paul

Batman socks from NaNa

Twilight Turtle from Zaide - will light up my room with stars on the ceiling!

More fun toys from Zaide

My first toolbox from Zaide

On the seventh night of Hanukkah, my parents gave to me - a choo choo loop that I can't play with, until I'm a little older, but I LOVED...UNWRAPPING... IT! Mommy quickly took it, put it in my closet, and I'll play with it in a few short months.

On the eighth night of Hanukkah, my parents gave to me - a plush rocking horsey, who speaks when I squeeze his ears, and also moves mouth, but I'M...SCARED...OF...HIM! But one day I'll ride it, when I can balance better, and then I'll say thanks Mom & Dad, for the best Hanukkah a baby could ever have!!

Happy Hanukkah, Everyone, until next year! :)
Thank you for singing along! :)

Bubbie's Gifts

My mother-in-law would have loved being with Banner on his first Hanukkah. I can just see her watching him delight in the lit menorah, sweetly telling him "No, no" as he reached for the flames.  She'd laugh at him banging on a present, oblivious that the wrapped "something" was NOT the gift, and she'd be on the edge of her seat (literally) clapping and saying, "Yay!" as Banner was perfectly content to just play with the unopened, unwrapped gift. (Oh, seriously, I can hear her voice as I write this post!!)  I just know she would have lit up watching him chew on the paper she used to wrap a special gift just for him. Her smile would be priceless as she would be giddy with excitement just watching her grandsons open their holiday gifts, figuring out what they just got, and giving hugs of thanks.

We have missed her this holiday season, just like we do and will do every day. Holidays are hard when a loved one isn't there - especially the first holiday without him/her. But, Banner's Bubbie was certainly a part of his Hanukkah celebration this year. Lucky for him, his Aunt Gayle and Bubbie went shopping before Bubbie died. She bought him a gift for Hanukkah that Gayle gave to me shortly after Bubbie's funeral: "My First Chanukah" bib. In addition, Bubbie had signed Banner up for a free book club called the PJ Library. Each month, a book, CD, or DVD will come his way until he is 6 years old! Grandma also signed Banner up for this special program, so each month, Banner will receive a gift from his grandmothers, and in this way, Bubbie's gifts will just keep coming!

This first PJ Library gift is a lullaby CD called "Every Little Soul Must Shine," and we think it's a pretty fitting gift because Bubbie's soul continues to shine on - through these gifts, through her family, and through our little boy! Happy Hanukkah, Leslie. We miss you. Thank you for all your gifts!

Sick Mama

Twice since Banner has been born I have gotten sick. Both of these times have also been since I went back to work. . . probably from the germs I'm being exposed to at school and from the increased stress of now having two "jobs." Getting sick now has different ramifications now that I'm a parent. No one likes getting sick in the first place, but now getting ill is 1,000 times worse. I absolutely hate feeling "under the weather" when I have a child, mostly because there just isn't time for me to not feel 100%. When my whole body hurts, and I just want to stay in bed - that is not an option. Banner requires all of my attention, so taking care of myself is secondary to his needs. Unfortunately, when Mommy is sick, Banner doesn't know, care, or allow for healing time. I feel so much more stressed out just feeling an icky feeling starting, which probably makes me feel even sicker. As I feel my throat start to get sore, a headache brewing, or a tummy ache festering, my body tenses up just knowing I can't deal with that right now.

I didn't mind my C-section healing time, because my itty bitty newborn didn't weigh so much, and I had help around my house. But now, my 18 pound infant who is rolling everywhere, on the verge of crawling, and on occasion tumbles from his sitting position needs me to be near him, needs me to hold him, needs me to do so much for him, and getting sick is just not in the plans! Even worse is the possibility that I'm contagious and will spread whatever bug I have to Banner. This is just another one of those learning curves I'm on - knowing how to be a sick Mommy when there is really no time for such a thing.

Happy Half-Birthday, Sweet Boy!

I've been waiting for December 9th. I've been waiting to celebrate half a year with our little boy. I can't believe it's already here! The first three months of Banner's life seemed to creep by, and ever since then, it's flown! As trite as it sounds, and like so many parents often say, time does really fly, and every day IS better than the last. It's amazing how far Baby Boy has come in the past 6 months. Here's an update since he was 5 months old:

• Banner is eating fruits and veggies! His favorites, so far, are apples, squash, and sweet potatoes. He likes pears, peaches, carrots, and bananas. He tolerates green beans. We'll have to give peas another chance at a later date!
• He is a pro at turning from his back to his belly - always flipping over in his crib to sleep more comfortably on his belly.
• He's sitting like a pro, too.
• I thought we had another month before he became mobile, but true to Banner's history, he's hitting these milestones on the early side of normal, so I should have known. He's been creeping for a while, making his way around a play mat or blanket in a scooching-kind-of-way, but now he's just days away from hitting the CRAWLING milestone! He's up on all fours, rocking back and forth, moving his knees forward... if only he could figure out how to move his hands forward, too. But, I'm seeing improvements there already, so I feel like it's gonna happen any day!
• He's playing with his tongue a lot. Loves curling it up, sticking it out, sucking on it, and making raspberry sounds. He's also growling a lot, again, too.
• Banner had his first cold this past month. He was very congested, and he had a runny nose most evenings. The humidifier in his room helped a lot, and the "snot sucker" was helpful from time to time, but the biggest help was Banner's attitude the whole time! If we hadn't been able to hear the mucus in his nose/throat, we would have thought everything was a-ok! He was a champ the whole week and a half of his cold. . . smiling, playing, giggling, etc.
• Banner officially became a son of two working parents this month. Mommy went back to work, so he spends a lot of his time with Grandma, and he just loves her! He's getting to soak up some time with her, Papa, Aunt Kira, Uncle Erick, and Theo (their dog) before he heads to daycare next month. Banner sleeps well on weekend/holiday nights. . . but he knows when Mommy has to work, and to boycott the situation, he wakes up very early on those work mornings!
• He recognizes favorite songs. Grandma sings "I've Got the Whole World in My Hands," and Banner loves that song. He smiles when he hears anyone sing it or even that tune. And, he still loves his morning wake-up song, especially the ending when I sing, "I love you. I love you!"
• Reflux: Very much still in action. Boo! 
• Eczema: Very much under control. Yay! 
• Banner said, "mama" clear as day last weekend. Since then, I've only heard "ma" in isolation. We're waiting to hear more consonant sounds. He loves when I say the alphabet to him in sound-form /a/, /b/, etc. His favorite sounds to hear me say are /l/, /m/, /v/, /w/, /y/, and /z/.
• My most favorite change this month: Banner is reaching for us! He's been "eye-ing" things he wants for a while - staring at a toy or a bottle to indicate that he wants it. But, just this past week, he's been actually leaning and reaching for US! Be still my heart!

What's IN: drooling, pacifiers, zerberts, being dressed only in a diaper, apples, singing/music, hugs, naps with Mommy/Daddy/Grandma, sleeping on belly, waking up 10 minutes before Mommy's alarm on work days (ugh!)
What's OUT: peas, putting on long sleeves, tolerating me putting lotion and/or eczema meds on his face, staying up past bedtime

At Banner's 6-month check-up:

• he weighed 17 pounds, 15 ounces (55th percentile)
• he was 26.5 inches tall (55th percentile)
• his head was 43.8cm (50th percentile)
• he got four shots but handled them like a champ!! He only cried during the shots, and as soon as I picked him up, he had completely forgotten about those mean nurses with the sharp needles!
• we were told that he is developmentally somewhere between a 5 and a half month old and a 9 month old!
• we were given permission to start water, a sippy cup, and finger foods!

Grandma came with us to the appointment, since Daddy couldn't make it this time. She was so helpful keeping Banner, the busy little boy, entertained and happy! It was a great check-up!

The night before Banner's half birthday, I kissed my five-month-old goodnight for the last time and teared up. I couldn't believe December 9th had already come so fast, and I feel so much love for my little guy - so much love in 6 fast months. Like I said before, I feel like (since 3 months old), time is slipping away from us. Especially after going back to work, I feel like my baby is growing up all too fast. I'm both loving that and hating it all at the same time. I love watching his personality unfold and develop. I love watching him discover this world around him. I love watching him interact with his many family members who love him so much... watching them get to know each other and watching how Banner loves them already! The morning of December 9th, Banner woke up to me singing "Happy Half-Birthday to You!" and what a great half-birthday it was. What a great half-YEAR it's been! Happy 6-months, Banner!! We just can't get enough of you, and we love you so much!

A Perfect Moment

I just wanted to document the most beautiful moment my little family had today. I haven't been feeling well. Banner has a little cold that he is slowly getting over. We had the day today to just recoup and be together as a family. So, this afternoon, Banner was ready for his last nap of the day - a short 45 minute power nap really. Sam went to go lay down with him in our bed, and a few minutes later when Banner was still stirring, I went to lay down, too. Shortly after I joined them, Banner fell fast asleep, and Sam and I just looked at each other grinning.

As rain fell gently on the two skylights in our bathroom and the dim light of the dreary, wet afternoon filled the room, Sam and I held hands beneath Banner's covered feet. In that moment, everything was right, everything was perfect, everything was as it should be. We listened to Banner breathe - which has gotten easier for him in the past couple days of less congestion - and we just looked at each other. The sound of the rain, the view of my husband watching our (almost six-month-old) son and looking lovingly at me, the sound of Banner, the feel of his tiny grasp, the warmth of our bed, and the comfort of each others' love was simply beautiful. It's moments like these that make the nonsense of work, the stress of sleepless nights, the chaos of a hectic, busy day, or the constant worry of all the little things completely disappear. I will remember this afternoon's nap - forever recorded and etched into my heart and mind.

A perfect afternoon, even when I didn't feel well. But, just when I thought this moment couldn't get any better, it did - when Banner woke up. After playing and looking around for a few minutes, all of a sudden, he said, "mama" just perfectly. We know he didn't know what he had said, and we know it didn't have any meaning at this point, but it was so perfectly enunciated and pronounced. Sam and I just looked at each other and said, "Did you hear that!?!"

Perfect!

So Much to Be Thankful For...

Family Photo

Mommy and Banner

Grandma's Little Gobbler

With Aunt Kiki

Aunt Amber & Caden

Landry & Banner

Grandma & Grandkids

NaNa & Aunt Gayle loving on Banner

Zaide & Grandsons

Zerberts from Daddy right before bath time!

 Happy First Thanksgiving, Banner! We are so thankful for YOU!