What's In a Name? . . . Part 2

Remember this post? Quite the controversy at the time... whether or not to change my last name to Sam's. And, of course, I decided to keep my own last name even though I was marrying a man I loved. It seemed to be a huge issue to many people around me, and everyone had/has their own opinions. Well, a year and (almost) half later, I'm content in my decision and glad I stuck to what I wanted/needed/believed. It really hasn't been a problem, and Sam and I have dealt appropriately to the name mix-ups we both get without holding a grudge or being unreasonable. One of my many points in that post was that a name is important - it's who you are, it sets up your identity, and it becomes a part of you. I had the option (and still do, by the way) of giving up my last name to become something new and different from before. I chose not to because I felt attached to my own given name - even if it's not an amazing name.

So, why bring all this up again? Well, because names have been the topic of discussion around my house (and all the homes of Baby Boy's grandparents) for the past few weeks. We need to find a name for our son, and it has not been an easy task! Recognizing how I feel about names in general certainly places a lot of pressure on me (and therefore us) to feel confident that we've selected the perfect name for Little Man. Sam and I both believe that names give individuals the right to be a certain way - a script, if you will, of how an individual's life can play out. For instance, Lowell has a totally different life with completely different hobbies, likes, dislikes, friends, talents, etc. than that of Jagger. Right?? I mean, can't you just see Lowell reading in the middle of class completely engrossed in a historical fiction novel? And, there's Jagger over there with his leather jacket and shabby, long hair too good for the girls who go weak at the knees for him. So, we both put a lot of thought into what we want our baby's life to be like. Maybe we're crazy, but I just don't see Frank as the star quarterback or Tony as the all-A, star student.

I also seem to have a lot of rules about the names we choose. I don't want our son to be known as his initials, so I try not to think of names that could be easily transitioned into them (TJ, CJ, DJ). Sam seems to think this won't happen if we don't let it, but he's not the one who works with kids everyday - kids who like to reinvent themselves by changing their names or the classmates who make plays on names all the time - the kids who love it when the substitute gets a kids name wrong, and from that moment on little "Eston" becomes "Easton" for the rest of his life.

Another rule, he'll need a playful nickname. No, I'm not talking about the kid who goes by his middle name (that's another rule...he should go by his given first name). I'm talking about the kind of nickname that allows him to know he's loved. Amber is easily, playfully nicknamed "Am" - which I actually really like. It tells me that a person finally feels close enough to me to abbreviate my name in a loving way. Cherie is "Cher," and Robyn is "Rob." And, then there are those little kid names that just come about after a few years - like my nephew, Caden, became "Caders" over the years. My niece, Mara, became "Mar." I just want my baby to have that experience where he knows someone is calling his name affectionately. It's a playful, fun, loving way to show you are close to someone. Again, just one of my hang-ups about names.

I'd love to find a name that is not easily turned into a tease, either. Of course, kids are going to be creative and cruel, so there's no way around that one. Matthew becomes "Matth-pew" or Joseph becomes "Grosseph," and those are popular, nice names! I'm sure little Matthew and Joseph are cute kids, too! You just don't know how their taunting peers will treat them if they aren't loved by all for whatever idiosyncrasies they have. And, even if they are the most perfect little Matthew or Joseph, loved by all - even their best friends will come up with something that irritates them, right?

So, getting back to my point - this whole being in charge of picking someone else's name - it's tricky and beyond difficult. Honestly, Sam and I have a couple names that we like - one in particular that we have always wanted for our little boy. You know, on the phone as a dating couple, we talked about our kids and their names and wondered what their personalities would be like. But now that the reality is upon us of this little creature being in our lives - we're not so sure who he's supposed to be!

There's two really big problems being the ones to name this kiddo.
-One: We don't know him yet!
-Two: We have never had to make a decision for someone else's life!
I mean, really, other than deciding to get married, there's been no other decision that impacted someone else's life to this magnitude. And, even the marriage was a joint decision that still impacted me directly - but not only me!

True that the kid can change his name if he hates it, but what parent wants to put his/her kid through that? What a horrible identity issue he'll have! Right?!?

So, what's in a name? Sheesh.... a lot! There's a lot riding on this decision. I know we'll make the right one in the end, and hopefully we'll come to an agreement on it. Luckily, we do seem to have the same taste in names, so I think we will agree on one. I just hope it's sooner than later so I can just get used to knowing who's inside my growing belly! It's weird to think that one day I'll say something like, "When I was pregnant with (insert baby's name here), ..." and talk about him as if I always knew who he was, because right now, I have no idea!