Sick Mama

Twice since Banner has been born I have gotten sick. Both of these times have also been since I went back to work. . . probably from the germs I'm being exposed to at school and from the increased stress of now having two "jobs." Getting sick now has different ramifications now that I'm a parent. No one likes getting sick in the first place, but now getting ill is 1,000 times worse. I absolutely hate feeling "under the weather" when I have a child, mostly because there just isn't time for me to not feel 100%. When my whole body hurts, and I just want to stay in bed - that is not an option. Banner requires all of my attention, so taking care of myself is secondary to his needs. Unfortunately, when Mommy is sick, Banner doesn't know, care, or allow for healing time. I feel so much more stressed out just feeling an icky feeling starting, which probably makes me feel even sicker. As I feel my throat start to get sore, a headache brewing, or a tummy ache festering, my body tenses up just knowing I can't deal with that right now.

I didn't mind my C-section healing time, because my itty bitty newborn didn't weigh so much, and I had help around my house. But now, my 18 pound infant who is rolling everywhere, on the verge of crawling, and on occasion tumbles from his sitting position needs me to be near him, needs me to hold him, needs me to do so much for him, and getting sick is just not in the plans! Even worse is the possibility that I'm contagious and will spread whatever bug I have to Banner. This is just another one of those learning curves I'm on - knowing how to be a sick Mommy when there is really no time for such a thing.