My Baby Daddy

How do you even begin to thank the amazing man who helped you bring your baby into the world? How do you even think of a way to show gratitude and appreciation for such a gift? I am so in love with my husband for so many reasons. He is my best friend, my shoulder to cry on, my stabilizer, my comfort, my sounding board, my favorite person to hang out with. He always has been those things to me, and I pray he always will be. But, he's now a daddy, and he's such a great one! I just have no idea how to let him know how truly blessed I feel that he's in my life, that he's in our son's life, and that we have a life together.

I remember in college - when we were dating - I always imagined my life with Sam, married to him and having children with him. I remember knowing that I wanted only him next to me in the hardest moments - including the labor and delivery of each of our children. It's so hard to believe that these moments are actually coming true. It's the most amazing feeling to not only have him in my life, but to have him be a parent with me now, to know that he's part of our son, that we created such a miracle with our love and our friendship. So, how do I make sure he knows how happy I am about all of these wishes & dreams coming true?

From trying to get pregnant to feeling the nausea of morning sickness, there have been moments of pure frustration and upset. From not being able to put my socks on to tearing up at the odd pains I was experiencing, there have been moments of uncertainty and worry. From the mild, unexpected bleeding to the overwhelming concern about labor and delivery, there have been moments of fear and anxiety. Through all of these moments, Sam knew what to say and what to do. He knew how to comfort and relax me, how to hear what I was saying, how to respond appropriately, how to predict my feelings, and how to be there for me in the most gentle ways. I'm not saying he was perfect or wasn't annoyed by these feelings and/or events - he's human and he's had his own reactions. But, he's been my rock and a true friend.

During labor and delivery of our precious son, which I will review in a different blog post, Sam was gentle, supportive, encouraging, and understanding. During our hospital stay, he and I had some of the most amazing conversations we've EVER had - and that's saying a lot given how many conversations we've had in the past 15 years! He was and continues to be the most understanding husband a person could ask for - hearing what I was saying as a new mom (through postpartum tears, through recovering pains, and through new mom fears). There were times I would say things to Sam and feel like no one would possibly understand what I was thinking, and it was at those moments that he would not only empathize but share some of my same thoughts and feelings or repeat things back to me in such a therapeutic way that made me understand myself even more. It's hard to explain without giving a lot of specific details which is not for this particular post, but let's just say that he "gets" me in a way that I can't explain. I know one thing for absolute sure - I am such a lucky woman. It was through our labor/delivery adventure that I learned that not only is Sam an amazing father, but he is and always has been an amazing husband.

It's been such a blessing getting to watch Sam become a father. They (the ubiquitous "them") say that mothers become mothers on the day they find out they are pregnant, and fathers don't become fathers until they see their babies for the first time. I know that for Sam, he was a father on the day he found out about my pregnancy. He wanted to go get books that night to read up on parenting and on babies. He would purchase odds and ends during the nine months of waiting to make room for Banner in our lives. He shared my concerns and worries, he took great care of me, and he couldn't wait to meet his son! At the same time, his love and his bond with Banner has become so much more than I could have imagined starting the moment we saw BBJ born. Sam will stare at him, memorizing his every feature. He checks on him constantly, has big plans for him, and takes the best nurturing care of him. Sam was so worried about being a good father, not knowing if he'd know what to do with his newborn. He has proven to be one of the best dads I, personally, have ever seen. I am truly a lucky woman, a lucky wife, and a lucky mother.
On this first Father's Day for Sam, I want to thank him for the best gift I've ever received: our son. I also want to thank him for being an amazing father to him already. I know it seems silly to think after only 10 days that he's such a great parent already, but I just know from what I've seen in this short time, from the conversations we've had, and from the way Banner responds to his daddy that my best friend, Sam, will continue to be a great example of a human being, a phenomenal father, a model husband, and a good man that will benefit Banner on a daily basis.

Sam: Banner and I need you, want you, adore you, respect you, and love you more than you will ever know. Thank you for being by my side for more than half of my life. I can't wait to raise our son together. Happy First Father's Day!