The Experiment

I never really loved science as a kid. I didn't hate it, but I didn't really love it. I thought it was fun to play with the equipment and actually DO something in class - mixing things, pouring things, watching things, etc, but I hated that I was supposed to observe something by doing an experiment to which my teacher already knew the outcome. We were supposed to work together to figure out what caused an outcome - a reaction, a change. We were supposed to try different ideas out to see what "worked," or we were supposed to follow steps to see how things changed, and all the while, the teacher already knew what was going to happen. "Just tell me!" I wanted to say to my teachers, "all this testing and watching and waiting is boring!" You'd think that as a psychology and education major, and as a person who went to graduate school in educational psychology, that I wouldn't mind experiments, figuring cause/effect, observing correlations, and weighing different options to solve a problem. But, I do! I like to have answers! I'm a researcher, a studier, a learner - but I am not a scientist!

So, what does this topic have to do with my life now? Well, this whole parenting thing is one big experiment after another! I'm not saying that my child is an experiment, but raising him sure is! The key element to experimenting is the manipulation of a variable, but in parenting, there are always so many variables and you can only mess with one at a time. TIME... it's taking so much time!! And, I want an answer NOW!


Experiment #1: What's Causing Banner's Reflux?
-Is it how fast he's eating? *Consider changing nipple sizes, consider burping more often to slow him down, consider not waiting until he is so ravenously hungry that he eats too fast

-Is it how much he's eating? *Consider feeding him less ounces, consider feeding him less often

-Is it the medication we're giving him? *Consider giving it twice a day, consider giving it once a day, consider that it's the culprit and actually causing the reflux so don't give it at all

-Is it the formula we're giving him? *Consider changing to a thicker formula that will stay down better, consider hypoallergenic formulas in case it's a food allergy that's causing the spit-up

-Is it that he's genetically predisposed to it? *Consider just tolerating it because there's nothing you can do!

-Is it that his digestive system is immature and undeveloped right now? *Consider just tolerating it because there's nothing you can do!

Experiment #2: What Will Help Banner Sleep Through the Night Without Interruption?
(He's sleeping 11-12 hours without needing a feeding, but he's waking to be soothed several times a night causing Sam and me to trade turns about 10 times a night soothing him back to sleep)
-Is it the swaddle that's causing the disruption? *Consider keeping arms out, consider keeping arms tighter

-Is is the pacifier that's causing the disruption? *Consider not using one, consider teaching him to find it himself (or is he too young for this?), consider weaning him off of it


-Is it the spit up in the middle of the night (at times) that causes the disruption? *SEE EXPERIMENT #1!

-Is it that he wants to see Mommy and Daddy in the middle of the night? *Consider letting him cry it out, or is he too young for this? (His eyes are still closed when fussing at night, so I'm sure it's not this, although he may want to feel us or know we're still there, right where we're supposed to be!)

EXPERIMENT #3: What is Causing the Flesh-Colored Bumps on Banner's Skin?
(We've taken him to the doctor for this slight problem. She didn't know what it was but only that it's not contagious and that it doesn't seem to bother Banner. She said it could be any of the following problems: dry skin, heat rash, allergic reaction to something we're giving/putting on him.)

-Is it heat rash? *Consider dressing Banner in lighter clothing during day and at night, consider turning fan up higher at night

-Is it dry skin? *Consider moisturizing skin more often with lotion throughout day, consider less time in water/tub, consider humidifier at night to moisten the air

-Is it something he's allergic to? *Consider changing bath soap, consider changing lotion, consider changing formula, consider changing detergent

NOW, these are just 3 examples of the current experiments we have going on at our house. I could go on and list the previous experiments we've gone through (some we found a cause/effect relationship, and some we didn't but the problem solved itself without our intervention or we never figured out what variable helped). I could list out the experiments I'm sure we'll have coming our way in the future. My readers, though, are smart, and they see where I'm headed with all of this scientific talk. I'm so sick of the experiments on a day-to-day/night-to-night basis. And, as a mom of young infant, I'm looking for answers FAST. There's nothing fast about these experiments, though. It's not like fifth grade science class, where the experiment is done in a 45 minute lab or even in a week or two of watching time change your plant or fish, for example. These baby experiments take a LONG time. Heck, we're almost 15 weeks into the reflux experiment, and still no answers at all!! Not even making headway!

The problem is that you can only measure one variable at a time. I can only "consider" one change at a time to know what the solution is - to understand what's CAUSING the problem. And, human beings don't respond to a change overnight. We need to give each variable about a week or more to see if there's a change. You can't just change a formula for one day and say, "Well, he's still spitting up, so that one didn't work." You can't just unswaddle him one night and say, "Well, that didn't work. He still woke up!" Because, we are creatures of habit, our systems need more time, and our bodies need to adapt. But, I tell you what - the unknowns and the urge to "fix it" for my son (and for my husband and myself) are creating quite the frustration in me! More frustrating is that my son cannot talk to me. He can't say, "Mommy, it burns when I eat," or "Mommy, I don't know what to do with my hands when I sleep; I WANT to be swaddled!" Just like I hated that the teacher knew the answer and I didn't, I feel like Banner knows the answer, and I have to figure it out for both of us, and I can't stand that. But, for now, we're just going to have to keep experimenting. I have a masters degree in this psychology area, and I've taken lots of research and design classes, as well as statistics. But, the Mommy in me is hating this part of parenting. I'm sure the pleasures of fixing the problem and helping my son will WAY outweigh the frustrations... just wish it would happen sooner. I knew I'd wear many hats as a mother - nurse, chef, teacher, friend, disciplinarian, barber, therapist ... but I never expected scientist to be on this list.