The Fourth Trimester is Over!!

Dr. Harvey Karp, author of The Happiest Baby on the Block, writes about the theory of a fourth trimester that all babies need in order to fully be ready for the world. While I don't particularly love his book, I love this particular theory that babies need more time in the womb. I was not ready for Banner to be born - not because I was afraid to be a mom or because I wasn't ready to meet my baby - but because I felt he needed more time baking. Although he was born on his due date and was completely "ready" by all doctors' standards, in my heart, I felt that he would benefit from being in the womb longer. I wanted to be late. I loved being pregnant, and I wanted Banner to have as much time in his little cocoon as he could before trying to cope with this scary, unpredictable, big world. Dr. Karp suggests that all babies need about three more months to mature and prepare their bodies and brains to cope with the stimulation of the outside world; hence the reason so many newborns are fussy and cranky until about three months old. He suggests, also, that colicky babies start to improve around three months old. He believes that babies would benefit from that extra time as a fetus but that there simply isn't enough room inside. While I agree about the room and am glad I only got as big as I did while pregnant, these first three months have been chaotic and stressful! So, thank you, Dr. Karp for acknowledging that I was right to want my baby inside longer and that the first three months are HARD! :)

Enough about that, though... I just wanted to celebrate that Banner is three months old and that his fourth trimester (or mine?!) is officially over! So, how do I feel about that? Well, I'm sad that my newborn is no longer a newborn... he's an"infant" now. He's growing so quickly, looks vastly different from his first few days (although I still see the same features just on a bigger scale), and is learning so much! I'm also excited to watch him grow and develop - he's getting to have such a personality, and we're learning each other more and more. So, each passing day is a bittersweet feeling as I lose my tiny baby yet meet my amazing son! Each day is like a new gift unwrapping itself before my eyes as I watch Banner learn something new, try a new skill, grow into his body, or absorb the world around him.

Each Sunday, Sam and I discuss and list our observations about Banner; we keep track of them in the same spiral notebook that my mom kept for her observations about me. Some notes about Banner for now are:

• Wanting to hold his own bottle - just doesn't know to keep it upright the whole time
• Loves audiobooks! I figured this out when I listened to The Help in the car, he would be much happier for longer car rides. Once I finished the book, I bought some for the iPod so we could listen all the time. I can actually see him smile from the rear-view mirror when I start The Kissing Hand or Goldilocks and the Three Bears.
• Sleeping 10.5-11 hours each night, but napping is much more difficult. He only wants to nap 45 minutes but about 4 times a day. He naps easiest in his swing... wish he would sleep in his crib, so I'm working on it, but he fusses less in the swing and will nap longer there.
• Mimics Mommy and Daddy when "ahhh" or "ooohh" sounds are made. Sometimes, we think he can mimic "hiiii" sound, but not consistently. Loves for us to talk to him!
• Batting and kicking objects
• Tolerating tummy time longer but it still wears him out after a while
• Discovering his body - loves when we take his hands to touch the top of his head; loves massages, loves to look at his hands and hold them, grabs at our hands more
• Giggling more! :) LOVE THIS!!
• Drooling lots
• Loves to suck on his hands
• Rubs eyes when tired
• Likes stories read to him and looks at the pictures
• Still spitting up a whole lot!
• Wanting desperately to sit up - will often pull his body forward, like he's doing crunches, and fusses until he's sitting up
• Loves to "stand" with fingers to hold on to. I've read this isn't good for babies, but then I've read that they should be bearing weight on their legs - so who knows?! My baby is SOOO strong, though, as anyone who has held him will tell you. If I don't let him, he will get upset. He loves to use his muscles!
• Seems shy at first - even to familiar people. He will often bury his head into my shoulder (with a smile) when around a new face that day - even Daddy's sometimes. A few minutes later, he's more interested. I was SO this way... maybe still am!
• LOVES hugs and kisses, especially a tight hug that shakes him just a tad. He will laugh when I do this at the right time. 
• Seemingly more cuddly... likes to hold his lovey we call "Bear" before a nap. If Bear isn't around, he'll settle for a burp rag (since there are always so many around!!). 
• Predictable routine: wake/eat/play/sleep - but naps are getting shorter, as I said above, so we are starting to see a wake/eat/play/sleep/wake/play/eat/play/sleep pattern at times. . . as I try to hold off on feeding him after a short nap. The boy wants to eat all the time - expecting food after waking almost every time! He's eating 5 bottles a day of 5.5 ounces each. If I had to pinpoint an actual time (which changes everyday, much to my Type A frustration), I'd say he eats around 7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm, 7pm. 
• We have moved up to Size 2 diapers, and he'll fit into newborn clothes all the way to 6 month clothes - depending on the way it fits. Some of his newborn onesies still fit him, but I'm mostly dressing him in 3 month outfits. 
• Perfect bedtime routine - bath when he starts to get fussy at night (usually around 6:45), lotion, dressed in comfy footsie pjs, bottle with Daddy, Mommy swaddles then rocks him to a drowsy almost-sleep. He usually unswaddles his arms at this point, but we're not quite ready to give it up. . . he won't fall asleep without it just yet.
• Loves music and being sung to - much to his Aunt Kira's delight! I sing to him (when no one's around!) and he just lights up!

If I had to guess, I would say Banner will be an affectionate little boy. He's still such a "thinker" in my opinion. He has a concentrated look on his face even when he's starting to doze. Sometimes I worry that he's uptight and that he needs to relax - but then again, that would be my kid - son of a thinker, a worrier, a planner, a control freak! Maybe if I can start modeling that carefree behavior, he'll relax a little bit! :) Oh, Banner Boone - we will just have to learn that together! In the meantime, we're enjoying our little munchkin! Parenting is beyond difficult - way more challenging than I could have imagined. I thought it was going to be hard, but THIS hard . . . had no idea! The only thing that keeps me going each day is that bright, beautiful, blue-eyed little man who smiles at me each morning and each night and so many times in between! One year ago, I didn't know I was pregnant yet. Here we are, four trimesters later, and I am so in love with Banner and with watching the little boy he's becoming!