Another Sleep Cheat Sheet: The Cliff Note's Version

Since I'm "published" now and will continue to order my blogs in book format, I want to use this blogging thing as a way to help me remember all those little things we did with Banner when we have another bambino in the future. I know so many people who wish they could remember the newborn days just before they give birth, and I do NOT want to forget all the things I learned from Banner in those early days and now. So, I may come back to this cheat sheet many times from now to update it with new things, but here it is for now. There are two things I never want to forget when we have our next baby: embrace every day of this little creature so cute, sweet, innocent BUT the first few months are HORRIBLE!

So, here's my Cliff Note's version of what I have been reading, wish someone had told me earlier, or have learned on my own. Most of this information is coming from the two sleep books I like (Dr. Marc Weissbluth's Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, and The Sleep Lady's Good Night, Sleep Tight by Kim West) as well as my own experience. I like these two books because they explain a very straight-forward approach that works! They also give insight into what's happening in the brain to understand why the baby responds/reacts/behaves the way he does. It makes me more sane to know these things so I'm not fighting Banner's biology and brain-signals unnecessarily! I've learned so much about sleep from the books - mostly that we need to be treating sleep just like any other biological need - feed them when they're hungry, change them when they're wet, and provide sleep-inducing routines when they are tired.

Birth to a few days (assuming born on due date): honeymoon period - will sleep most of the time

Few days after birth - 6 weeks: baby becomes more alert, sleepy part of brain wakes up  - increased fussiness, crying, agitated wakefulness, swallow air more and become gassy, which is more common in evening hours; longest sleeping stretch can be at any time of day or night = day/night confusion; in the first week, babies usually sleep 16-18 hours (half at night, half during day over four naps); by end of first month, babies sleep 15.5-17 hours (8.5-10 at night, 6-7 hours during day spread over 3-4 naps)... still waking 2-3 times at night for feedings. They (formula-fed babies) eat 6-8 feedings in 24 hours of 2-3 ounces every 3-4 hours. (Is your math brain blowing up yet?) During these early weeks, there is absolutely no such thing as a schedule - don't make yourself crazy trying to force one on your baby or your family. Respond to baby's cries so he learns that he can trust you and that you will meet his needs. Do whatever it takes to keep him happy - hold him often and WEAR him a lot!

Around 5-6 weeks: social smiles - wants to be social and interact with people more; fussiness peaks; better able to console self, and night sleep begins to organize - longest sleep period will be at night, but no idea when that 4-6 hour stretch will be. Darkness serves as a cue, we slow down our activity, and we behave as if we expect baby to sleep, and since these three cues are missing during the day - naps are difficult. Keep intervals of wakefulness between 1-2 hours only. Babies this age sleep 15.5-17 hours total (8.5-10 at night, 6-7 during day spread over 3-4 naps). Formula-fed babies take about 4 ounces every 3-4 hours.

Weeks 7-8: Earlier bedtime develops naturally, sleeping for longer stretches at night. Baby should not be awake for more than 2 hours. Usually only wake once a night for feeding. Also, crying should be differentiated about now... different cry for tired vs. hungry vs. wet, etc. Bedtime routine becomes helpful now. (Banner slept 8 uninterrupted hours at night at 8 weeks old!) There's still really no set schedule, so try to keep going with the flow of what your baby needs.

Months 3 and 4: (so baby is now 2-3 months old) - Earlier bedtime develops naturally, sleeping even longer at night. Still not awake for more than 2 hours at a time. Watch tired signals - yawning, rubbing eyes, or (in Banner's case) quieting and becoming less active. Try to put down for nap as soon as you notice these signals because now the body will produce a fatigue-fighting hormone if baby becomes overtired - making getting the child to sleep overwhelmingly difficult for both parent and baby. Use a naptime routine (rocking for a few minutes or a book, for example), and understand that babies are less portable now... they need motionless, consistent nap routines. Morning nap develops around 9-10am. Babies this age are usually sleeping 4-5 hours during the day spread over 3-4 naps. Eating 5-6 ounces about 5 times a day. (At 12 weeks old, Banner slept 11 hours at night, and at 14 weeks, typically sleeping 12 hours at night with interruptions to be re-soothed/paci/reswaddle!) *One thing that I have learned which is so counter-intuitive is that more sleeping well during the day = better, longer sleep at night. Sometimes, the earlier we put Banner to bed, the later he sleeps, too. I've learned that there's no such thing as "sleeping too much during the day." A lot of people think that if you keep a baby awake during the day more, he will sleep better at night - NOT TRUE! Babies need sleep, and if you don't let them sleep when they need to, they won't let YOU sleep when YOU need to - at night! :) They're overtired, and they can't sleep well later.

Month 5 - (so baby is now 4 months old): Eating 6-8 ounces at 4 or 5 feedings in 24 hours (no more than 32 ounces total). Even earlier bedtime now, typically around 7:00, so bedtime routine starts around 6:30 or slightly after.

Like I said, I'll add more as we know what we're doing each month and as I learn more. We're not quite at Month 5 yet, but this is what we're already doing with Banner and hope to maintain this routine. I know things will change with cereal, solids, and better napping. I'm being persistent with the nap training currently, which means a lot of days at home, not able to go out for much time at all. I'm definitely finding Banner less portable these days - which is not fun, but at least we're getting a schedule, and I've been CRAVING a schedule for our family. Be careful what you wish for, right?! When things were crazy without a schedule, I could go anywhere at night and during the day because Banner would just go with the flow - well, not these days! Putting him to bed at the right time is key for a peaceful, restful day and night for everyone involved!  Can't wait to learn more and document it all for myself and anyone who finds this helpful. Til that time, SLEEP WELL!