Wednesday, April 16, 2014

30 Things in 30 Days (#14: Strengths/Weaknesses)

Day 14: Describe 5 Strengths and 5 Weaknesses You Have

Strengths: I'm going to "toot my own horn" to stick to the prompt, but I have to say that stating my strengths is not one of them! Like many people, I tend to focus on my areas where I can improve. But, I like this question; it gives me a chance to model (for my kids who I hope will read this one day) how to look for the positive and be proud of abilities.
  • Patience: While it doesn't always feel like it on the inside, I am pretty good with at least appearing calm and having patience. My former coworkers used to always comment on my ability to maintain composure at times of highest stress - whether it was working with a difficult student, dealing with irate parents, tackling testing conflicts, or any other crazy situation that would arise. In dealing with my own children, I definitely have a limit that is pushed more than ever, but I feel that, at least outwardly, I can maintain my patience. 
  • Time Management: I get things done, and I multi-task fairly well. Having children, especially two now, has taught me how to manage my own time and schedule to get the most done in the shortest amount of time. Planning and scheduling are very helpful for me. I like structure, and I'm not a procrastinator. I don't like to waste others' time or put something on them last minute, so I plan in advance as much as I can. And, I try not to take on more than I can handle. I've been planning Banner's June birthday party since March, and I've already started getting the wheels turning for Quinn's September party. Camp Mommy calendars for this summer are already in progress, too. Nerdy? Sure. But, it works for me. Even day to day - it's about managing time to be as productive as possible.
  • Memory: I have a great long-term memory. In fact, Sam calls me "The Memory" since it's not uncommon for me to remember something that other people can't.
  • Writing: I like to write. It's my outlet, my therapy. While I'm not perfect at it, grammar is my forte. Poor grammar would have been my 11th pet peeve. I've gotten better at making up stories with Banner, I've been asked to proofread term papers, proposals, and college entrance essays, and one day, I'll write a children's book. 
  • Following Through: If I say I'm going to do something or be somewhere, you can depend on it. In the rare case that I can't, it's valid. 
Weaknesses Challenges: I don't like saying these are "weaknesses," because they can always be changed into strengths with a little nurturing. I may not necessarily be unable to do them, but they "challenge" me. So, these are my challenges these days:
  • Listening: Normally, this is a strength. But, this has definitely become a challenge in the past couple years when I have an infant or a toddler running around/fussing/demanding my attention. I notice that I'm struggling with this more and more. When my kids are not with me, I'm much better, obviously, but I had to list this because it's something I know I need to work on. I'm extremely ADHD-feeling when my children are around - just trying to maintain their safety, tend to their needs, answer questions, etc. Having a conversation with anyone can be a challenge.
  • Cleaning: I've given up trying to keep up with my house. I've surrendered to the fact that while my children are young, I will have a messy house. With a baby who puts everything in his mouth, I am aware of what is around him, and I definitely want to keep things "clean." But, clutter will remain. You would never be able to tell how much I do try to clean up; my efforts are constantly thwarted by a rambunctious almost-3-year-old! who uses a variety of toys in various rooms throughout the day. Most days, I just can't keep up. But, honestly, I would much rather spend my energy playing with them than getting all worked up over the mess. 
  • Masking my feelings: I think this may also have it's perks and be a strength since we really shouldn't hide our emotions. BUT, with young kids, it's hard for me to pretend I don't feel a certain way to try to shield/protect them from anxiety. Last week, Sam went on a quick business trip. I just did NOT want him to go. I was fearful, I had this awful feeling, and I cried when he left. Even the night before, I just felt nauseous and removed Quinn from his lap so I could sit in it and just cry with my face hidden in Sam's neck. Or, there was the time my cell phone was stolen at a store, and I had to not panic or freak out in front of Banner. And, a couple times, when Banner starts asking me about his Bubbie, I wanted to cry for missing her and wanting him to know her, but I don't want to upset or scare him. When something is very much on my mind, I'm distracted by it, and as a mom, the challenge of being brave or showing that we are confident or not burdening the kids with something scary can be difficult. I'm usually such an open book, but when it comes to the kids, I know I need to work on delivering information/news or being in the moment and not ruminating about something that is irrelevant to them. As they get a little older, I will be more forthcoming about my own feelings - because I want them to know it's normal and acceptable to have whatever feelings they have.
  • Letting it Go: I'm a worrier. As my mom told me the other day, "The first step is acknowledging it!" She told me that when I told her I was worried that Quinn isn't eating his finger foods well (Cheerios, Puffs). He just spits them out after nearly gagging on them. Jokingly - but with a hint of seriousness - I said, "What if he won't eat? What if he needs a feeding tube?" Okay, the kid is 7-months old - he'll be fine. I know. But, I don't like not being in control, not being able to know the answers. And, if you have read my blog for a while, you already know that about me! 
  • Saying No: It's like the shortest word - but I can't say it well to others who ask something of me. I recently told my sister-in-law "No!" very quickly when she asked if I was interested in training for races with her. That was easy - I hate running. I only do it when someone's chasing me (or I'm chasing Banner!). :) But, I was proud of myself for being able to say it. I reflect often on a statement that one of Oprah's guests once taught her to say: "That doesn't work for me." What a classic line. 
*Past posts in this series can be found here: Day 1, Day 2Day 3Day 4, Day 5Day 6Day 7Day 8Day 9Day 10Day 11, Day 12, Day 13

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