A Skillet in the Bathroom

Yes, there's a skillet in my bathroom. More specifically, it's on my bathroom counter next to my sink. Why? Well, because I have a 12 month old. I'm used to seeing toys strewn about the house in any given room, but Banner's most favorite toys these days are random items not specifically designed for child's play. So, this post is dedicated to the random items we have distributed all over the house. Instead of getting annoyed and frustrated at having to constantly reorganize and tidy up, I'm going to just embrace the ridiculousness of it all. My home, in all its random glory, looks like we have no idea how to keep a clean house. It might even look like we house a person with some kind of Alzheimer's or dementia, but really, it's because we have a 12-month-old toddler who has taken over the house.

So, yes, there's a skillet on my bathroom sink. There's a racquetball racquet on the floor next to the shower. There's a spatula in the pack-n-play which is also in our bathroom. There's an Elmo teething ring next to the washing machine. In Sam's temporary office, you will find a basket of foam bath letters and numbers. I'm not sure why those are in there, but even inside that basket is a box of crib rail cover (which we bought too much of when Banner started teething). There's a mixing bowl in the center of my living room. There's a sterling silver bell just chillin' on the kitchen floor. You will also find the famous blue hospital aspirator standing up with Banner's toothbrush in the toothbrush holder. Not sure why that's there, but it's not as perplexing as why the NoseFrida (snot sucker) is barely peeking out from under the couch. Oh, and Lord only knows why there's a Pink Floyd VHS case next to Banner's rocking horse - yes, VHS! As I look around my kitchen, I'm annoyed that our Hanukkah menorah is sitting just outside our bay window, but that's my fault for listening to Sam who told me to put it in freezer after Hanukkah so we could clean it easier but then never did, and I only just took it out when we needed more freezer space - 7 months later! That's kind of embarrassing, but then again, my bra is draped over the armrest of the living room couch. Banner must have taken it from my laundry stack when I was putting away clothes.

He's a fast little booger. And, it's not like I'm not watching him. In fact, sometimes that's why these random items appear in the middle of nowhere, far from their original homes; we have to place things up high so he won't reach them, or we have to distract him while he's demanding a dangerous item. Hence the silver bell... I gave him the box with the bell in it to distract him from trying to get into the Diaper Genie (yes, he loves the trash lately, and it's gross). Moments later, I was giving him the bell that a coworker of mine gave to me as a joke the year Sam and I got married. Three years ago, I never dreamed that this little joke would end up chiming throughout my house in the hands of my toddler. But, alas, Banner loves that damn bell, and now it is decorating my kitchen floor.

Like I was saying, we have to use other items to distract him from the dangerous ones - so you will find the remote control or a phone or a laptop charger stealthily hidden and later wonder where the hell it is. Or, you might see a camera cord or suntan lotion sitting on the kitchen counter because Sam or I had to take it from Banner and place it where he couldn't reach it. While Sam and I understand this new phase in our lives when a hairbrush is in the bathtub or there's a clothes hanger on the kitchen table, it's kind of hard to explain to any guests who drop in - like our neighbors across the street who wanted to ask us a question about when we renovated our TV room. They came in unannounced, and it just made me cringe with embarrassment. We really aren't pigs! We know how to keep a home clean, but it was clean 5 minutes before that - I promise! They just missed it!

I'm really trying to put things away, and I'm trying to stay on top of the mess, but when you have this little creature constantly insisting that I redecorate the house with his/our clutter, it's a bit of a struggle. I'm not giving up on my projects, and I WILL get this house in order. But, I'm not sure I'll ever really get a handle on the random items all over the house. I have a 12-month-old who is only going to get more curious, more experimental, more rambunctious, more "into everything!" So, I'm instead of getting aggravated, I'm growing a sense of humor, and we're learning to be okay with a bubble machine on the kitchen counter, a bib under some shoes in my closet, a balloon on the dining room table, a Lego in our bed, a shoebox torn apart in the middle of our bedroom, and of course, the skillet in the bathroom.