Potty Party!

Disclaimer: I'm talking about pottying here. . . that includes talking about poop and pee and accidents and wiping and anything else that might gross you out, so don't read this if that bothers you. I'm a mom, he's my kid - it doesn't bother me.

More Important Disclaimer: The number one rule of parenting just might be to NEVER say aloud that something is going well - for fear that the "eat your words" gods might hear or that our children may think we've been given too much good fortune and make us regret everything we have publicly announced and celebrated. When something is going well. . . NEVER, EVER write about it. So, with this disclaimer, I won't be making wide, general statements about whether Banner is potty-trained at this point or not. I will simply give the facts:

I've been dreading 3 transitional times since Banner was born: moving to a big boy bed, getting rid of Banner's pacifiers, and potty-training. So far, we're good on the bed and we're down to one paci (from four!). And, 2 weeks ago yesterday, we started potty training.

I knew I was way more anxious about this than I should be, and as usual, Banner proved that I had no need to be concerned. At around 25-months-old, we would ask Banner to go potty before getting in the bathtub, and he was successful almost every time. So, we knew he was capable. But, our pediatrician recommended waiting a while before starting to potty train until after Quinn was born because he expected Banner to regress during that time. At Thanksgiving (29-months), Banner asked to use the potty twice that day. I thought that might have been the "right" time to start since he was expressing so much interest, but to be honest, I was not at all ready! The idea of having two kids in diapers might frustrate other people, but for me it was safe. I didn't have to worry about accidents, about taking extra clothes for Banner (only Quinn), about constantly asking Banner to go potty, etc. It was just easier to NOT have him potty trained.

Around the time Quinn turned 4-months-old in January (and was sick with RSV), we started noticing a smidge of regression in Banner. I'm glad we had waited to work on potty-training. Banner was up and down all night during those months, he was not feeling well, he was clingy and needing more attention and nurturing during that time. So I kept waiting. Then, it occurred to me that his school had a nice, long spring break for Passover, and that would be the ideal time to start training him. So, I gave myself that time frame to mentally prepare myself, and we also started talking more about pottying and underwear and trying to use the big boy potty until it was time to just nix the diaper and move forward. We also would have some afternoons (after nap) every now and then where Banner would wear just underwear or go naked (what he called "just his penis") until bedtime. He was usually successful for those few hours, so that also helped build up his (and my) confidence that we could really do this soon!

With my background in psychology and education, I am well-aware of the developmental stage that Banner is in right now. Potty training is THE goal of this psychosocial and psychosexual stage, and the way we handled this stage could make or break not only his success but his feelings about himself and the world. NO PRESSURE, RIGHT? Obviously, I take this stage very seriously and had plenty to make myself anxious with... sometimes ignorance really is bliss! I got a plan, read up on the topic, talked to my mom friends who have already potty-trained with ease, and set my mind to it that we can do this!

So, on the second day of Banner's spring break, we had our first official day of no diapers (except at sleep times). He had one pee accident - but I think that one was on purpose to see how I would respond, especially while I was putting Quinn down for nap. The second day, he had no accidents until the very last few moments before his bath time. We were trying to show Daddy how well Banner knows his ABCs with a game on the Letter Factory DVD (I highly recommend this video to teach letters and sounds!), and while it was loading, Banner peed on Daddy's lap. I think he was testing Daddy to see how he'd react. The third day, he had one accident at Grandma's house; the fourth day, he had two accidents while Daddy was in charge; and the fifth day, he had a couple of poop accidents on the way to the toilet (he had loose stools that day and was complaining of a tummy ache, so I'm not sure how much control he thought he had). Since then, we've had 11 consecutive accident-free days - including 3 school days! His teachers were very impressed and said he definitely earned his chocolate that first day back (we've been giving him chocolate chips for successful potty visits).

Since using the potty all this time, we have developed a fun little culture over here. Pottying is celebrated! We do a potty dance when Banner goes. We praise him and hug and kiss him. We have a potty party! Banner sings, "pee pee in the pot-ty, pee pee in the pot-ty!" And, when Sam or I go to the bathroom, Banner claps and says, "Yay, Daddy!" or "Yay, Mommy, now you get 3 chocolate chips!"

Whether he continues to be successful or not, I now know he CAN do it. I'm really proud of Banner. He asks to use the potty now, he tells me when he needs to go. He asks if there will be toilets wherever we are going and uses them when he needs to. I've had to make a gas station pit stop on the way to school once, I've taken him potty in the middle of the night (although we are not night training yet), and I've wiped him after he pooped in a Walmart potty - while wearing (or dangling!) Quinn in the Bjorn. We're doing this! And, although it was WAY easier to get my shopping done or go to the park or get from one place to another during a traffic jam without worrying about an accident, I'm proud of myself too! It's taking more effort on all of our parts to remind Banner to potty, to help with pulling pants up and down, to help him wash his hands a ridiculous amount of times a day now, to manage a crawling baby while awaiting poop on the pot! Yet, it's a necessary transition, and our boy was ready for this. I hope his success continues for everyone's sake. And if not, we'll tackle it! Here's to more potty parties!