On Sunday and Monday, Banner kept telling me that there was something on his brown paci, that something was bothering his mouth. His mouth, like mine, is extremely sensitive to any different texture or foreign object. We both can find a blueberry or strawberry or even vanilla bean seed on our tongues or in our teeth with precise accuracy. So, I knew he was telling the truth; I washed his paci and returned it to him both nights. But, on Tuesday night, I knew there had to be something wrong with the paci, not just something in his mouth or stuck to the clean paci. I looked at it very closely, and sure enough, there was the beginning of a tear in the nipple. I showed it to him to let him see what he had been feeling in his mouth. "Banner, you can't use this paci anymore. It's broken. It's not safe. I have to throw it away," I told him.
Expecting his refusal, I was fully prepared to just give him the back-up paci we have in his dresser (which he has forgotten about). I was not really prepared to deal with giving up a paci without notice! :) Much to my (and Sam's) surprise, he simply said, "Oh." As I left his room to trash it, I expected him to start crying or be upset, but he never said a word. I dropped it in the trash, wondering if I should let him say goodbye. Since Sam and I are both somewhat emotionally attached to this particular paci that our little boy loves so much, I expected to feel more saddened as I pitched it. This was remarkably easier on me than I thought. But, we were both shocked and glad that letting it go was so easy for him. Since he seemed so at-ease with it, I was too!
I expected Banner to ask for it after we read stories. I expected a long, miserable night. But, it was awesome! In fact, Banner went to bed faster on Tuesday night than ever before. He never said a word about it.
The two nights (and one nap) that followed have been a little harder for him to fall asleep - just settling in to a new norm of not having it in his mouth or hand. He's asked for it a few times, and when I remind him about what happened, he's perfectly fine with it. He says, "I'm sorry my paci broke, Mommy." I tell him, "I'm sorry, too, Baby." And I am. But, I'm so glad that this happened naturally/organically. Like I said, Sam and I were more than happy to give him the back-up, and I had every intention of doing so. But, when Banner took this like a champ, we followed his lead and ran with it. I'm so very proud of him, and I'm glad we let things happen on their own instead of meddling - as we might have done calling Fontina in for the white paci... Sam and I both felt awful for many days after she arrived.
But, THIS time, Fontina came with a simple congratulatory present. How she knew about the broken paci, I have no idea! She's magical! She let Banner know that she was so proud of him for giving up "Brown paci!" This morning, when Banner found the present on the front porch, he looked around and said, "Is this for me?" We told him we didn't know, but there was a note on the side of the gift. Then, he looked around again and said, "Is there one for Quinn?" Of course, we were in awe of his question and being so inclusive of his brother. :)
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| "Is this for me? Can I open it?" |
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| He opened this note and saw that it was, in fact, for him. |
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| He called them "pretend Legos" |
We are so grateful for Fontina thinking of our sweet boy who gave up his favorite pacifier so easily. Just one more to go! Hoping we hear from Fontina again soon! :)
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