What I've Learned Along the Way: A Shout Out to Cherie!

One of my best friends recently got engaged and has started planning her wedding. I started thinking about what I would tell her about the whole wedding planning process. I had started thinking about what I learned from the whole event, and this is an incomplete list of what I came up with so far:

• I've learned that people should RSVP as soon as they know if they can attend an event or not. It doesn't matter if the person knows you are attending already; it's the speed in which you respond that lets the hosts know how excited you are to attend.

• I've learned why it's rude to ask if you can bring a date.


• I've learned that the wedding is the least important part of the marriage; but, I think I already knew that - it was simply reinforced.


• I've learned that no ones opinion matters but mine and Sam's.


• I've learned that good friends are really good to have!


• I've learned that let-downs are inevitable.

• I've learned that the bride will always be busier than the groom. . . no matter what.

• I've learned that most brides really don't like the wedding planning process unless they have an unlimited source of funds. I've also learned from other brides (and most definitely myself) that most girls DON'T grow up with their weddings perfectly planned or even imagined. They really have no idea what they want. And, I've learned that when you go to a meeting with a vendor or planner, they all look to the bride to decide. And, if you don't know, you feel like a complete moron loser.

• I've learned that your wedding guest list ends up being a reflection of life: most of it you wouldn't change even if you could, but there's always a few regrets. There are people you don't care to be around, but out of obligation, good taste, and in the name of family, you just have to suck it up!
  

• I've learned that you can be as prepared and organized as you possibly can be; inevitably, something will get lost, stolen, taken, misplaced, or out of order. Something will go wrong. Something will be out of your control.
  


• I've learned that registering for gifts is just as difficult as I thought it would be. It's hard to tell people what to buy you! I'm still not comfortable with this idea.


• I've learned that showers are awkward as everyone stares at you, opening gifts you asked for on your registry, but it's also really fun! I learned it's much more fun than I thought! Who would have thought that opening a tortilla warmer or banana hammock would be so exciting?!


• I've learned that most people are way too attached to tradition.

• I've learned that you can't please everyone even if you try.
  

• I've learned that (most) people are always trying to just do the best they can. A non-invitation is not an intentional crime.


• I've learned that vendors are evil and will milk you for all you're worth!


• I've learned that Sam and I love music so much that making a set list/play list was way harder than it needed to have been! So many choices!


• I've learned Sam needs a deadline in order to get anything accomplished, especially as a favor to/for me.


• I've learned that sometimes no response is the best response...unless it's an RSVP for goodness sake!
  

• I've learned that writing thank you notes is the biggest pain in the ass, but it really isn't that difficult and it goes a long way. I also learned the sooner you do them, the better!

• I've learned to ask for what I want and not be intimidated by a vendor or a wedding planner's opinion when you really know what you want. Even if they tell you it's not a good idea, trust your instinct and your own heart, and stand up for what you want.

• I've learned that no matter how much you plan and rest, you will still be mentally and physically exhausted after the long wedding day. . . but that's not an excuse to forgo an intimate wedding night! ;) Don't have any regrets!
  


• I've learned that some things are just not worth my investing of any energy, time, or worry.

• I've learned that people have way too many opinions about whether or not to change your last name. On this topic, I've learned most people live in the dark about how times have changed. I've learned that people are way too judgmental about something that doesn't affect them at all. So, just do what you can live with, do what makes you feel right, do what makes sense to you and your partner.
  

• I've learned that married life is so much better than engaged life, but it's something you just have to go through to know it's right, to know it will last, to know you're doing a good thing and that your love will stand stress and hard times, and it might be even stronger for it all.
  

Cher, HAPPY ENGAGEMENT!! I'm so happy for you and J-man. I hope you have a smooth, exciting, fun engagement, but I hope you marriage is even better! I love you! :)