Thanksgiving Pies!

As far back as I can remember, as long as I could cook, I have been contributing to our family's Thanksgiving dessert table. I have made numerous pumpkin pies (my favorite!) trying out different crusts and decorative tips. Two years ago, Sam and I took a Thanksgiving pie class at Central Market. As with most cooking classes, we loved the time in the kitchen together, learning a new trick or recipe, so we decided to take the class again. This time, competing a little more to see whose pie could turn out the most beautiful. Throughout the class, the instructors continued to compliment both of us on our skills. I got lots of praise on my dough making, my rolling skills, and my decorating skills. Sam continued to get kudos from other students, as well, who admired the decorative skill he had - bringing up the fact that he is a guy and that most men don't care for baking. I made a pumpkin pie and an apple pie. Sam made an apple pie and a sweet potato pecan pie. My pumpkin pie crust, similar to all the other students', turned out very lopsided! I was pissed! Sam just kept trying to encourage me, even though I was ready to trash mine and go home and make another (since ones I've made in the past are beautifully decorated - with braided crust edges, leaves circling the pie, or added decor on the filling). So, he kept telling me to calm down and get over it - probably, internally, pleased that he didn't choose a pumpkin pie that would look like mine! His pecan pie turned out great! Haven't tasted it yet, but it looks great. Our apple pies probably tied, after the car ride home and much judgment by my mom and step-dad. Sam's looked better at the class, but after it cooled, I think ours both looked awesome (his deflated a little and then matched mine).

Either way, I'm sure the pies are delicious. And, they were certainly made with lots of care and a great deal of love. We care deeply for the loved ones we made them for, and we had a lot of fun making them. Tonight, I'll be making some side dishes for the holiday, and my niece and nephew will be spending the night! We'll have a full-house tonight, and I can't wait for all the fun of Thanksgiving!

Who Needs Thanksgiving When You Have a Sunday Dinner?

Okay, so food happens to be a big part of our daily life. We love to eat it, enjoy preparing it, wish we could cut back on it, and constantly plan for it. For some reason, I love to cook on Sundays. I get an "itch" on Sunday afternoons to prepare a good meal to start our week off right. With extra time to plan and buy my ingredients, Sundays are perfect for good meals. Sam and I bond in the kitchen, too. We share ideas for recipes, teach each other new things, and experiment with new ideas and tastes. This past Sunday, I was in the mood to whip up some of my favorite Applesauce muffins for my coworkers before Thanksgiving, and I wanted us to try out a recipe we learned to make in a cooking class in July. So, here are some pics from our Sunday evening in the kitchen. We also made barley with mushrooms, but that dish didn't make it into the camera. It was delicious, though! Stay tuned for more Kitchen pics of our Thanksgiving Pie class tomorrow. We'll have our annual contest to see whose Thanksgiving Pies come out prettier and tastier! Here's to hoping my baking beats Sam's in every way possible!

Just Like Everyone Else (?)

Given the nature of the second-most commonly asked question after a recent marriage (see blog entitled "So, When Are Ya'll Planning on Having Kids?"), I've recently had several conversations with close friends and family about the possibilities of responses to the question. Mostly, though, the questions and conversations have given rise to discussions regarding how children will change my life forever. Not only will I be responsible for a new life (or new lives, if we have more than one child), but it will change my relationship, the way I live my life, my career, my friendships, my sleeping patterns, my future entirely.

That sounds really harsh and over-the-top, but it's realistic. My mom says it's negative, but I just want to make sure that the thought of the excitement and jubilation of having a new life growing inside me is not without major forethought (A LOT of forethought!) and planning. Sam and I both need to really examine the ways in which a baby will change so many things. It's really scary when you think about it this way, but the topics of conversation lately have been about whether I will stop working to raise a child as a stay-at-home mom, when we should start "trying" or at least stop preventing, when it would be ideal to get pregnant, whether or not I need to enroll in short-term disability at work to be my maternity leave one day, whether we make enough money to raise a child, who would take care of our child if I did NOT stop working, how will our marriage change once we have kids, etc. I think it's good to talk about these things, and kinda fun too - but kinda frightening at the same time. It just makes me worried.

Why worried? Well, we've all seen those sitcoms, comedians, talk shows, books, and movies that poke fun at marriage, relationships, in-laws, home, children, etc. Everyone laughs because everyone understands. Everyone feels the same or can relate in some way. It's humorous because it's true, very true. The Newlywed Show, as old as it is, reminds us that couples inevitably all go through the same cycles, the same issues, or the same feelings. We laugh at the couple calling each other names, or getting themselves in trouble with the other partner. The idiosyncrasies of marriage become a joke to all and child-rearing stories are laughable because we can all identify with the common experiences.

So, again, why worried? Because, even though it's nice to know that we all go through the same things, I don't want to be like everyone else. I want to know that my marriage is different, that Sam and I will never get sick of each other, that we won't stop treating each other with respect, that my in-laws won't annoy me, that I won't become resentful of Sam's busy working schedule, that I won't feel taken advantage of when I'm the one doing the cooking and cleaning, that I won't be the one to do all the planning and errand-running. But, like all marriages that we poke fun of on those talk shows or that comedians love to point out to us, we're all alike. Our children will be a new stress; they could?/will? get in the way of our sex life; we won't go out with friends they way we do now; the in-laws will piss me off; the house will become a mess; we will have to work hard(er) to have time for each other and make our marriage work so we don't resent each other for anything; I will have to choose my job or my kids - or at least get used to doing a half-ass job on both; I will miss my days of sleeping in and having time to myself. . . the list goes on and on of how having kids will change our lives.

It's inevitable that I will become like everyone else. And, even though Mom thinks I am being so negative about the possibilities of the blessings of a child, I would like to look at the bright side. . . at least I'll be in great company. So, if we're all going to have a common experience and have others we can go to - to talk about all of these problems and complaints - then why NOT have kids? Why not suck it all up and enjoy the love and affection I can give to and get from kids? Why not bite the bullet and just hold on to the roller coaster that is life? I'm having a hard time with the idea that my life could become just like the ordinary jokes heard around the world. . . but, as long as we all end up there together, I'll come to terms with this idea and get ready for the thought of being a parent, get ready for the idea of changing my life forever - so that I can have what I've really always ever wanted! It's so exciting to think about, and again, I just want to make sure I get over any fears before embracing what I really, truly want - a family. So, within the next year or so, I will be coming to terms with this idea. We definitely don't even want to think about getting pregnant until after our honeymoon - another 7 months away - but in the meantime, I'll be coping and overcoming fears so that when the time comes, I can buckle up calmly, ready for the ride, and ready to be as excited as ever!

What I've Learned Along the Way: A Shout Out to Cherie!

One of my best friends recently got engaged and has started planning her wedding. I started thinking about what I would tell her about the whole wedding planning process. I had started thinking about what I learned from the whole event, and this is an incomplete list of what I came up with so far:

• I've learned that people should RSVP as soon as they know if they can attend an event or not. It doesn't matter if the person knows you are attending already; it's the speed in which you respond that lets the hosts know how excited you are to attend.

• I've learned why it's rude to ask if you can bring a date.


• I've learned that the wedding is the least important part of the marriage; but, I think I already knew that - it was simply reinforced.


• I've learned that no ones opinion matters but mine and Sam's.


• I've learned that good friends are really good to have!


• I've learned that let-downs are inevitable.

• I've learned that the bride will always be busier than the groom. . . no matter what.

• I've learned that most brides really don't like the wedding planning process unless they have an unlimited source of funds. I've also learned from other brides (and most definitely myself) that most girls DON'T grow up with their weddings perfectly planned or even imagined. They really have no idea what they want. And, I've learned that when you go to a meeting with a vendor or planner, they all look to the bride to decide. And, if you don't know, you feel like a complete moron loser.

• I've learned that your wedding guest list ends up being a reflection of life: most of it you wouldn't change even if you could, but there's always a few regrets. There are people you don't care to be around, but out of obligation, good taste, and in the name of family, you just have to suck it up!
  

• I've learned that you can be as prepared and organized as you possibly can be; inevitably, something will get lost, stolen, taken, misplaced, or out of order. Something will go wrong. Something will be out of your control.
  


• I've learned that registering for gifts is just as difficult as I thought it would be. It's hard to tell people what to buy you! I'm still not comfortable with this idea.


• I've learned that showers are awkward as everyone stares at you, opening gifts you asked for on your registry, but it's also really fun! I learned it's much more fun than I thought! Who would have thought that opening a tortilla warmer or banana hammock would be so exciting?!


• I've learned that most people are way too attached to tradition.

• I've learned that you can't please everyone even if you try.
  

• I've learned that (most) people are always trying to just do the best they can. A non-invitation is not an intentional crime.


• I've learned that vendors are evil and will milk you for all you're worth!


• I've learned that Sam and I love music so much that making a set list/play list was way harder than it needed to have been! So many choices!


• I've learned Sam needs a deadline in order to get anything accomplished, especially as a favor to/for me.


• I've learned that sometimes no response is the best response...unless it's an RSVP for goodness sake!
  

• I've learned that writing thank you notes is the biggest pain in the ass, but it really isn't that difficult and it goes a long way. I also learned the sooner you do them, the better!

• I've learned to ask for what I want and not be intimidated by a vendor or a wedding planner's opinion when you really know what you want. Even if they tell you it's not a good idea, trust your instinct and your own heart, and stand up for what you want.

• I've learned that no matter how much you plan and rest, you will still be mentally and physically exhausted after the long wedding day. . . but that's not an excuse to forgo an intimate wedding night! ;) Don't have any regrets!
  


• I've learned that some things are just not worth my investing of any energy, time, or worry.

• I've learned that people have way too many opinions about whether or not to change your last name. On this topic, I've learned most people live in the dark about how times have changed. I've learned that people are way too judgmental about something that doesn't affect them at all. So, just do what you can live with, do what makes you feel right, do what makes sense to you and your partner.
  

• I've learned that married life is so much better than engaged life, but it's something you just have to go through to know it's right, to know it will last, to know you're doing a good thing and that your love will stand stress and hard times, and it might be even stronger for it all.
  

Cher, HAPPY ENGAGEMENT!! I'm so happy for you and J-man. I hope you have a smooth, exciting, fun engagement, but I hope you marriage is even better! I love you! :)

Europe, Here We Come!

It's official! We WILL have a honeymoon after all! We're headed to Europe in June, which I hope will be here before I know it, but I have a feeling it will take too long! All we know at this point is the flight itinerary and the Mediterranean cruise we will be taking. We'll see such cities as Rome, Florence, Barcelona, Marseilles, Pisa, and a few other towns along the way. We'll spend some time in Barcelona and in London as long as we're there in Europe, but let me tell you how hard it has been to make these plans! Even deciding how we want to spend the time we have in each city is still in the works! There are so many amazing places to see and so many things we want to do in each place. . . but let's be honest, money these days is hard to find, hard to save, and hard to spend in the best way! Not knowing exactly how much it will cost is driving me crazy. . . a lot crazier than it's driving Sam who seems to think we'll be just fine and can do whatever we want. Nice thought, but I'd like to be able to pay the mortgage and eat a little something when we get home after the big trip! All these stressful feelings for what is supposed to be the happiest, most relaxing time of the wedding/marriage celebration. I suppose that's why Sam looked at me across the breakfast table on Sunday and said, "I wonder what it's like to be in your brain. I bet if I looked in there, I'd see a gazillion intertwined gears moving this way and that." He went on to describe his brain as a table and a chair and maybe one gear. I think he totally nailed it - my brain just spins and weaves and turns and thinks. There is ALWAYS something on my mind; at any given moment, I could name one item after another that was occupying my thoughts. He seems to be mesmerized by this while feeling sorry for me at the same time!

So, anyway, back the honeymoon planning . . .

I think the main problem is: how much will the accommodations really cost after tipping and taxing (oh, shit, another "plus, plus!"); how much will transportation cost; how much will each venue/museum/excursion/day trip cost; how much will each meal cost? So many things to think about before knowing we can get there and back and still be able to afford a loaf of bread and maybe a quart of milk after the fact! So, with all this stressing me out, we went to the local book store to purchase some books on the cities we will stay in after the cruise. (We bought the books only after realizing that the local library was not open on Sundays and I just couldn't wait to find out more, couldn't wait to plan, and my stress level was way high, and the Internet only made my head hurt more. . . so, why not spend money on a book that will help me not spend money in Europe?! Nice logic, huh!?)

From Frommer's to the Dummies books, we looked them all up and down. It was hard to finally make a selection, but we did, and I spent all Sunday night (yes, during the football watching!) making notes and reading up on local accommodations, amenities, tipping norms, customs, metro maps, sightseeing, top 10s, menus, common expressions in the native language, and safety of each city we intend to see. I've never been so immersed in wanting to know the history and heritage of lands so far from here - lands I have been taught about as a kid but never seeing the need to know or understand and, therefore, not retaining any information. I know I'll come back from these cities with a ton of cultural experience and wonderful memories, but right now, time is on my hands and I can take advantage of learning about each city to make the trip all the better and more interesting/exciting.

So, for the next 6 months or so, I'll be reading up on Europe and the Mediterranean countries that I once did an in-depth report about in the 6th grade. Cypress, Malta, Greece, Italy, Portugal, Spain . . . I wish I could remember more about you all! I'll take my new assignment on with new dedication and determination so when I visit some of you, I'll be all the more excited to see you! And, I suppose at the same time, I'll remember that this is my honeymoon and spend time relaxing with Sam just being away and in the world together - learning and exploring and. . . dare I say . . . relaxing and trying not to think!

Monthiversary Number 2

(Bear with me; I have no idea if this blog makes sense!)

A Friday evening approaches, and all day I've been reminded of the date - two month-anniversary, what Sam and I call our "monthiversary." It's crazy that it's been 2 months since the wedding date. Why crazy? Because, well, honestly - I can't believe it's been ONLY 2 months. It feels like forever ago! No, not because Sam is impossible to live with or so boring that time drags. I believe it feels that way because when planning the wedding, it seemed like time was flying too fast to plan and get things done. Then, all of a sudden, the wedding happened, I'm married, and it's over. So, time has crept by since then. My friend got married 2 weeks ago, and it feels longer ago than that, too. So, it's not just MY wedding that feels like that. I think mainly it's because you plan and plan for a long time, a time that flies too fast to accomplish everything you wanted to in that time period. Then, it's said and done, over and finished. I think this is because once it's over, you miss it and want it back. That day and night passed way too quickly, and when you compare that speed to everything else, it just seems like everything else/every other day is way too slow! It's like driving my 4Runner and then getting in Sam's dad's truck; I thought my car was tall until I got in the truck and realized how "squatty" my SUV is. Time flew by for a year and especially on our wedding day, yet now I realize, in reality, how time does not fly by that fast.

I miss my wedding everyday and wish I had the chance to do it all again (minus the money and the "plus, plus!"). I guess another reason time seems to pass so slowly is waiting for the honeymoon that we delayed. Or, waiting for the school year to pass so I can enjoy more time as a wife. Or, waiting for time to pass before we have children. Or, waiting for the years to pass to see what the future holds - if we move out of this house, if we get a new car, if Sam gets a new job, if we can afford our lifestyle, etc. I feel like there's so much I'm waiting for still and it's not coming fast enough. Hence the reason I blogged earlier about our generation's "need" to rush into everything. Why do I need to know NOW? Why do I need time to pass so quickly? Why can't we all just enjoy the here & now without worry or concern for the future? Why can't I just be in the moment?

Which is why I think I love my weekends. . .

I LOVE THE WEEKEND! More than the fact that I get to sleep in (and this is saying a LOT!), I love being able to spend time with Sam. I feel like each weekend is waiting for us to be able to spend time together, to reconnect, to hibernate from the world - back together with no cares except each other. Which, of course, only makes Sundays harder than ever - to go back to reality and let work interfere with my personal life once more. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do, I love my job and the people I work with. But, I love my husband more! I love our time together - the coziness of cuddling up together, the talks, the tasks accomplished, the time with friends. I may not have loved working the past 2 months or the wedding-related errands and the aftermath, but I have absolutely loved every weekend, every evening, and every moment that Sam and I get to spend together. So, HAPPY 2 MONTHIVERSARY, SAM!! I LOVE YOU!

"So, When Are Ya'll Planning on Having Kids?"

Ah, yes. The next most commonly asked question only a few weeks after the big wedding date revolves around the big question of procreation. If you've been keeping up with my blog, you know that the first most likely question to receive after getting married is "So, How's Married Life?" This question is shortly followed by, "So, when do you think you'll have kids?" I love how predictable this topic is. I suppose I asked the same question to my cousins and brother who all married long ago. I'm sure I asked my best friend when she got married. And, it really is a very normal question. Obviously, the wedding is over and that was a really big event. What's the next most obvious big event? Having kids and raising a family.

It's just so interesting to me, though. Everyone (the couple, included) always wants something big to happen. Typical & acceptable schedules of events go something like this: you date someone for a while and soon after, the question is, "When are you getting engaged? When's he gonna ask you to marry him?" You get engaged, and the first question (other than how did he ask you?) is "So, when's the big day?/ Do you have a date set yet?" You get married and the big question is, "When are you gonna have kids?" You have a kid, and the next question is, "Will you have more kids?" It seems like everyone's always moving on to the next task, the next stage, the next big event and not enjoying just what IS.

If you want to have kids right away, that's fine - it's great if that's what you want. I'm just saying that you should do everything on your own time as a couple. There's no rush to have children because everyone's questions to you center around the next expected step. What about people who don't want to have kids? What about couples having a hard time getting pregnant? What about people who want to travel and enjoy life childless for a long time before trying to start a family? I just hope that people who ask these questions consider these possibilities. There seems to be so much controversy, so much judgment, so much assumption that goes with this question. Imagine a couple truly trying to get pregnant, and every other question they get from friends and family is, "So, when are you going to have kids?" How obnoxious and frustrating and defeating it would be to continuously have to hear this question - regardless of if you're hiding the fact that you're trying or if you have to explain your situation to someone. Imagine a couple who just loves to travel, go skiing or cruising or sightseeing and plain just not wanting to have to deal with little ones (either finding a sitter or having the kids tag along). If every other question this couple gets is about when they are going to have kids, how annoying. There also seems to be some imaginary threshold of time that the couple passes and everyone assumes they must be having trouble getting pregnant. "I bet they're having problems. It's been (insert whatever number of years you think a couple should have had kids by here) ____ years, and she's still not pregnant."

In my opinion, a baby should be a well-thought-out plan & not an expectation a couple feels is just the next step. A couple should be physically ready, medically prepared, emotionally stable, maritally cohesive, and financially fit to have a baby. I know this sounds so judgmental, and I'm really not trying to be. It's just a topic that I'm sure many people just tolerate without much discussion. I'm just asking that we think about what we're asking couples when we put this expectation of children on them soon after a major life-change. One step at a time, I say. Okay, I'll quote Jordin Sparks' latest hit: "One step at a time. There's no need to rush. It's like learning to fly or falling in love. It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen." Hopefully, "it" will happen when the couple wants and not on anyone else's timeline of expectation.

For me, personally, Sam and I are not trying to get pregnant. In fact, we're hoping NOT to get pregnant until at least after our honeymoon this summer. Why this is anyone's business, I don't know. But, I'm not opposed to talking about it or sharing with anyone what our plan is. We're hoping to start "not preventing" soon after our trip in June. At times, I feel so ready to start my family - especially when my friends are having babies and enjoying the new lives they've brought into the world. But, other times, the whole idea of giving up my personal freedom and my alone time with Sam is frightening. I know I'm not ready for kids. Interestingly, I know I'm ready for an infant, but I'm not ready for what comes too quickly after - a toddler, a preschooler, a school-aged child, a teenager. The next stages are the hardest, so I know I'm just not ready. I may or may not be by next summer, and that's okay to not even know yet. I'll blog another time about our plans, but for now, for Sam & me, the answer to the second most commonly asked question is: "Later."

Happiness Leading Up to Halloween

Since my last blog entry, there has been quite the excitement within our circle of friends. Last Tuesday night, one of my best friends had her second baby, a boy, and another best friend got engaged. . . all in the same evening. Sam and I have been so excited for these big events, and we were thrilled to be given such happy news. We cannot wait to meet little Asher in a few weeks, and we can't wait to hear more details about Cherie & Jed's wedding plans!

In addition, this week we were planning our first party since the wedding. We were excited to finally entertain and have people over while being able to decorate the house, cook, and use some of our new gifts! We spent Friday evening and Saturday morning planning and preparing, cooking and cleaning, and getting our costumes ready for Halloween. We were dressed as workers from the Dharma intiative, from the TV show Lost. I let Sam decide what we were going to dress up as this year. He just loves Halloween. He went all out in the yard, decorating with newly bought items, and then feeling let down that Halloween is only one night and we have to take down the decor today! Halloween, for me, is just another sign that my favorite holiday (Thanksgiving) is right around the corner. Only three weeks until TG break and then Turkey Day is here! I love the weather, I love the festivities, and I love the family time and company (and of course, the food!) of the holiday season! So, because of that, I'm learning to love Halloween even more!

Here are a few pictures from our Halloween party:

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! :)