Our 13-Month-Old

Dear Banner,
As the mother of a young infant, I couldn't wait until you were 12 months old! I remember in the very early days feeling like those days of having you as a one-year-old were SO far from my reach. Having a 12 month old seemed like the ultimate goal for me because I knew I'd know you better by then. I knew you'd be walking or about to walk. I knew you'd be attempting words. I knew the SIDS risk significantly decreased at 12 months - definitely something that would make me rest maybe a tiny bit better at night (you know me... I will always, always worry about you!). I knew it meant that I had been through every season, every month, every day of a whole year with you in my life. And, I couldn't wait for that! But now that 12 months have come (and gone), I'm ready for time to slow down just a bit. Just like every other "night before you turn a new month older," as I said my final goodnights last night, tears streamed down my face as I remembered you as my newborn baby. As much as I love you and love how much we know each other now, I miss my tiny boy who loved skin-to-skin, who would wrap his itty-bitty fingers around just one of mine, who worked so hard to hold his head up even in those first few days of life! You are such a curious little boy - always have been! - so I'm delighted to see you grow and learn. But, just don't be in such a rush! Mommy wants to embrace all of these days we have with you so little.

So, what are you up to these days? Well, this past month has been busy, fast, and full of amazing new skills!

-Perhaps the biggest change has been an explosion of the language center in your brain! You are very aware that objects have names, that words have meanings, and that sounds create these words. Not only can you repeat lots of sounds after us (you're especially good at /a/, /b/, /w/, /g/, /m/, and /d/), you are getting pretty awesome at trying to copy our words. For instance, a few days ago, you surprised us by trying out "waffle" which sounds like "wah-wah," "cracker" which sounds like "cackah," "bubble" which sounds like "bubba," "bagel" which sounds like "gagel," and "cupcake" which sounds like "cuh-cak." You also have attempted "dangerous," "danger," "yucky," "dirty," and you typically attempt "Thank You" when you know WE would say that to you (like when Daddy asks you to push the button to open the garage door). You say "Wow!" and "Whoa!" all the time, and when you like a food, you always say, "Mmmm!". You say "Dada" or "Dadu" for Daddy, "Mama" for me, "baba" or "bah-ul" for bottle, and "naNAna" for banana. You also say "haa" for "hot," as you wave your hand up and down - a sign you created on your own. Speaking of signing, you  are signing "more" and "finished" without prompts now. Aside: For a good solid week, you were having some night-wakings again, which Daddy and I hate because we never know why it keeps happening. You are easily soothed by us, and you put yourself back to sleep once we have held you for a few minutes and then cry yourself back to sleep after we leave your room, but that only lasts 1-2 minutes. This also happened right before you learned to walk, so we think maybe your brain was on overload trying to figure out the language thing that week and sleeping well was not on your agenda.

-Along those same lines, your receptive language has improved drastically, too! You understand simple commands like, "Can you hand me that red ball, please?" or "Banner, go get your water." You follow directions when we point to something, and you know the meaning of so many words ("nap," "light," "change diaper," "paci," "crib," "ball," "water," "bottle," "dinner," "snack," "lunch," "oatmeal," "Cheerios," "more," "all done," "shower," "bath," "kitchen," "outside," "dog," "horsey," "phone," "mail," "bubble," "mouth," "eyes," "hair").

-Your favorite book right now is Baby Animals where we read the names of animals and make their sounds. You can say "Bah" for sheep, and if we roar first, you will roar like a lion.  You also like your Curious George counting book and will look for George on each page. When I ask you, "Where is George?" you can find him and point to him.  I LOVE this!

-This month, we added whole milk, strawberries, raspberries, cauliflower, and raisins to your diet. (In addition to the cake you had at your birthday party and on the 4th of July.) You still love fruits and veggies, and I hope you continue to! You love breads/tortillas/bagels/crackers, cheeses, and beef. I tried to give you eggs on three different occasions, and you tossed it each time - but I'll keep trying. Chicken is still "hit-or-miss" with you, but I'm not giving up because I make that the most. I'd like to introduce fish soon, too, although I'm not a fish eater, so I'm not sure how to even prepare it! You did not like cottage cheese, and lately, green beans are spit out after you eat the actual beans inside.

-You blow on food that is hot (and a lot of times, food that is not hot)!

-You love the whole milk we introduced after your 12-month check-up, but getting enough ounces in you each day is tricky if we use the sippy cup. So, you still take 3 bottles a day (6-7 ounces in the morning, 4-5 ounces after one nap, and 7-8 ounces before bed). You are also drinking a lot of water (only in a sippy cup) which keeps you hydrated and less constipated. :) You're welcome!

-You probably really need the bottle still. You are not ready to give up that "sucking" time. And, I've decided I'm not in any hurry for you to give it up. You are still very young, and I'm okay with a bottle still (even if your doctor isn't). We'll wean eventually... I have no doubt that you will start Kindergarten bottle-free! Speaking of sucking, you also use your paci but it is not allowed to leave your room. You have them (yes, all 4) in your crib and on your changing table, but that's it. Again, I'm okay with this and know you won't go to college with pacis!

-Physically, you are still strong as ever! You are now CLIMBING! Mostly, you climb up on the fireplace hearth, but you also climb on couches, stairs, and tables. It won't be long before those little legs are helping you hoist yourself up onto any other number of dangerous places. . . . giving Mommy small heart attacks!

-You are getting better at letting me brush your teeth!

-Since Daddy works at home now, you are pretty confused! He's here in the house with us, but he can't play with you! He often will come out of his "office" for a restroom break, for a cup of coffee, or maybe to have lunch with you. But, when he goes back to his room, you are pretty pissed about it. I wish I could explain it to you, but usually a good distraction helps ease your disappointment. This whole new arrangement is significantly different than a couple months ago! Mommy now stays at home? Daddy works in the room next to yours? We aren't rushing to get to Grandma's every weekday? What is going on? I'm sure you are a bit baffled, but this will become our new norm, and then when Daddy gets his own real office, we'll miss him terribly! It is nice having him give you breakfast or help cook dinner, right? And, most days he gets you up from at least one nap.  I know I, for one, am loving that he's here and soaking up this special time together!

-You love going outside, even in this awful heat! You love playing in water, swimming, and riding your new tricycle! You often "ask" for the back door to be open so you can look outside. Sometimes you want to go out, but it's just too hot and you get upset. We try to go outside at least once to play, though.

-You celebrated another Father's Day with Daddy, my 32nd birthday, and Independence Day!

-You love dancing to any music, and you often look at me right away for a response or a reaction of some kind. I usually start bouncing right along with you, which puts a huge smile on your face! You just love music!!

-You are still wearing size 4 diapers, and we put you in size 5 Overnights at night. You mostly wear 12 month clothing, but some outfits are 18 months.

-You had your first busted lip this month. You had a sippy cup in your mouth as you were walking to Aunt Kira's room. Theo jumped over you but missed a bit, and you were on the ground and crying within seconds. The straw from the cup cut your bottom lip, bruised the area above your top lip, and caused a small bloody nose, too. It was scary for both of us, but you healed within a couple days. You also had quite a reaction to something that bit your foot. Your foot swelled up, turned red, and got hot. You didn't seem to mind it at all, which is the only reason I was calmer about it than I normally would have been, and the only reason we never took you to the doctor (we called, but never took you in).

-You're starting to run. Yes, run. Ohhhh, Crap.

Big changes, huh?! Well, I think so! You have Daddy and me wrapped around your finger, running in circles, chasing after you, constantly amazed, and at your mercy! We just love you, Sweet Boy! 12 months has gone, and now you are my big 13 month old! I hope you had a great first birthday month. I hope you know how loved you are! I hope you keep learning and growing and developing, but I hope time will slow down just a bit. I know you aren't slowing down any time soon - just be careful, Love. You mean more to me than you could ever know, and all this going, moving, climbing, running is awesome yet terrifying at the same time. This past month brought lots of new skills and new insight. I can't wait to see what this month will bring! I love you, my Angel. Happy 13 Months!!

Love,
Mommy

Happy Birthday, America!

July 4th is Sam's favorite holiday, and it's quickly becoming one of mine, too. Sam loves it because he's so patriotic and loves any chance to celebrate this great country of ours. I like it for that reason, of course, but I LOVE how Americans around the country come together in their communities to watch fireworks. I love the food, the vibrant colors of our flag being presented everywhere, and just hanging out with friends and family in the evening heat. (I could do without the heat throughout the day, but it does feel nice as the sun sets and you're bathed in this glorious warmth.) I love watching the fireworks and recognizing just how lucky we are to have the freedoms we do. So, as this holiday approached, I felt myself really getting into the spirit and looking forward to having fun things to do with Banner this year. (Last year he wasn't even a month old, but I do remember it being an eventful day: he met his Aunt Robin, met his Uncle Sage, and had his first real bath.) This year is the first year he could actually enjoy the food, the company, and the activities, yet I can't wait for him to be able to stay up and watch fireworks in the future.

So, here's a bit of our Fourth celebration...

The morning of Tuesday, the 3rd, I made Banner a "Fourth of July" breakfast since we knew he wouldn't be waking up with us the next morning (he'd be at my mom's). He loved his waffle, and even said "wawa" over and over again when I said "waffle." He loved the "naNAnas," blueberries, and strawberries I put on, too.

 Later that evening, we took Banner to my mom's house to have a sleepover with Grandma and Papa. This would be his second 3rd of July evening with them; I'm hoping this can become a tradition of theirs maybe! Banner hasn't spent the night out away from us since November, so I was reluctant to leave, but once we did, Sam and I had a blast! We met up with Cherie, Jed, Logan, Alan, Gretchen, and Avi to go see fireworks. After picking up some Grandy's for dinner and finding a good place among the crowded knolls, we hung out eating, chatting, and goofing off until the fireworks started. It was a great night!

My 4th of July drinking glasses I made! :)

Firework Straws!

The gang (that's Sam at the bottom with the beer, of course!)

My date!

I asked them to "watch the fireworks" and this is what I got!

Logan got really into it

Happy Kaboom!!

July 4th morning, Sam and I slept in!! Now THAT was a Happy Independence Day! Then, we stopped by my father-in-law's house to wish him a happy holiday before heading to my mom's to see Banner. After hanging out there for a bit and after Banner's second nap, we went to my aunt & uncle's house for their 4th of July party at their new, amazingly beautiful home they just finished building and moving into! Gorgeous house, I tell you! Anyway, lots of food, fun, and family. Here are some pictures of the party and the "Flag Cake" I made (thanks to Pinterest and this website!).

Grandma & Banner

Our Star-Spangled Banner!

Marin & her Mama

Brock & Brycen

Walking around Aunt Jacque's house

I just love my sister!

Kiki and Landry

Balloons!

The yummy grub!

Marin & Kiki

My cake!

Inside my special cake project

Crumbled a little, but here's the first slice!

My boys

More sweets

Tasting Mommy's Flag Cake

Brycen & Zach

Loving Aunt Jacque's backyard!

First corn-on-the-cob!

My family

FLASHBACK! Here's my sweet newborn last July 4th and then a picture from THIS year! Oh how things have changed!

Happy Birthday, America!!

A Skillet in the Bathroom

Yes, there's a skillet in my bathroom. More specifically, it's on my bathroom counter next to my sink. Why? Well, because I have a 12 month old. I'm used to seeing toys strewn about the house in any given room, but Banner's most favorite toys these days are random items not specifically designed for child's play. So, this post is dedicated to the random items we have distributed all over the house. Instead of getting annoyed and frustrated at having to constantly reorganize and tidy up, I'm going to just embrace the ridiculousness of it all. My home, in all its random glory, looks like we have no idea how to keep a clean house. It might even look like we house a person with some kind of Alzheimer's or dementia, but really, it's because we have a 12-month-old toddler who has taken over the house.

So, yes, there's a skillet on my bathroom sink. There's a racquetball racquet on the floor next to the shower. There's a spatula in the pack-n-play which is also in our bathroom. There's an Elmo teething ring next to the washing machine. In Sam's temporary office, you will find a basket of foam bath letters and numbers. I'm not sure why those are in there, but even inside that basket is a box of crib rail cover (which we bought too much of when Banner started teething). There's a mixing bowl in the center of my living room. There's a sterling silver bell just chillin' on the kitchen floor. You will also find the famous blue hospital aspirator standing up with Banner's toothbrush in the toothbrush holder. Not sure why that's there, but it's not as perplexing as why the NoseFrida (snot sucker) is barely peeking out from under the couch. Oh, and Lord only knows why there's a Pink Floyd VHS case next to Banner's rocking horse - yes, VHS! As I look around my kitchen, I'm annoyed that our Hanukkah menorah is sitting just outside our bay window, but that's my fault for listening to Sam who told me to put it in freezer after Hanukkah so we could clean it easier but then never did, and I only just took it out when we needed more freezer space - 7 months later! That's kind of embarrassing, but then again, my bra is draped over the armrest of the living room couch. Banner must have taken it from my laundry stack when I was putting away clothes.

He's a fast little booger. And, it's not like I'm not watching him. In fact, sometimes that's why these random items appear in the middle of nowhere, far from their original homes; we have to place things up high so he won't reach them, or we have to distract him while he's demanding a dangerous item. Hence the silver bell... I gave him the box with the bell in it to distract him from trying to get into the Diaper Genie (yes, he loves the trash lately, and it's gross). Moments later, I was giving him the bell that a coworker of mine gave to me as a joke the year Sam and I got married. Three years ago, I never dreamed that this little joke would end up chiming throughout my house in the hands of my toddler. But, alas, Banner loves that damn bell, and now it is decorating my kitchen floor.

Like I was saying, we have to use other items to distract him from the dangerous ones - so you will find the remote control or a phone or a laptop charger stealthily hidden and later wonder where the hell it is. Or, you might see a camera cord or suntan lotion sitting on the kitchen counter because Sam or I had to take it from Banner and place it where he couldn't reach it. While Sam and I understand this new phase in our lives when a hairbrush is in the bathtub or there's a clothes hanger on the kitchen table, it's kind of hard to explain to any guests who drop in - like our neighbors across the street who wanted to ask us a question about when we renovated our TV room. They came in unannounced, and it just made me cringe with embarrassment. We really aren't pigs! We know how to keep a home clean, but it was clean 5 minutes before that - I promise! They just missed it!

I'm really trying to put things away, and I'm trying to stay on top of the mess, but when you have this little creature constantly insisting that I redecorate the house with his/our clutter, it's a bit of a struggle. I'm not giving up on my projects, and I WILL get this house in order. But, I'm not sure I'll ever really get a handle on the random items all over the house. I have a 12-month-old who is only going to get more curious, more experimental, more rambunctious, more "into everything!" So, I'm instead of getting aggravated, I'm growing a sense of humor, and we're learning to be okay with a bubble machine on the kitchen counter, a bib under some shoes in my closet, a balloon on the dining room table, a Lego in our bed, a shoebox torn apart in the middle of our bedroom, and of course, the skillet in the bathroom.

Parenting with My Partner

Sam and I have been best friends for close to 16 years. We've been through a heck of a whole lot together during that time. When you get married after knowing each other for so long - and after dating for that long - you think you'll know how to handle anything that comes your way. Well, that's true for most things, but there are several things that have happened in the past couple years that we've just had to bank on our relationship and the love we have for each other to get through - like Sam's accident or grieving the sudden loss of Sam's mom. Parenting is yet another area that we have had to put our faith in each other and our love in order to make it through each day (and oh so many nights!). You really don't know what kind of parent you're going to be until you are one. (Man, I couldn't even begin to count how many times I've said, "I'll never do that with my kid" and HAVE! I swear I was a better mother before I had a baby!) So, how can you know what kind of parent your partner will be or how well you will parent together?

After almost 13 months of parenting with Sam, I thought I'd write a review of how we are doing as parenting partners. There have been some awful moments in the past year when it came to being a team - times when we lost sight of our goal and got too wrapped up in being right or in our frustrations. Most of the time, those moments were due to lack of sleep. (What was that rule again? You can't be held responsible for things said or done in the middle of the night?) But, other than the handful of moments that made me furious, made me cry, or had me running to MY mommy, parenting with Sam has been awesome.

It's such a gift to be able to parent with your best friend. My absolute favorite is the look we often give each other across the room (or table) while we are watching Banner. Whenever he makes a new discovery or does something cute or funny, whenever he says a new word or attempts a new food, Sam and I will glance at each other as if to say, "Are you seeing this?! Isn't our boy so amazing!?!" I don't know what he would say about my eyes, but when I see Sam gazing back at me, I can feel the love just oozing out. I can hear his eyes telling me, "Oh my God, I love this kid! We made this kid! I love you so much!"  In these brief, deep looks, nothing else matters - and nothing else exists. Not even Banner, which I know sounds weird, but that look just brings me back to "us" and to loving one another. Of course the look is about Banner - and the never-ending love we have for him - but it's as if time just stops and this living, breathing child in front of us is a tangible reminder of our friendship, our love, and our devotion to each other.

We have learned so much this past year. In the middle of an "off" or "awful" night (respectively, the ones where Banner cries in the middle of the night, or the ones where he won't go back to sleep at all) when we've done everything we know to do, we've learned to just hold hands and hope Banner can soothe himself. When one of us is edgy or frustrated, the other adjusts accordingly to be the more patient parent. When we need a break or to walk away because Little Angel isn't being one at the moment, we've learned to take over for each other and be okay with needing space and time. We've learned it's so important to respect how we each relax - he doesn't make fun of my blogging, pinning, crafting, or cooking, and I don't give him grief for taking his only day a week to sleep in to go fishing with his dad. We've also learned that a good movie on a Saturday night or cuddling on the couch any day of the week is still fun - and really good for us.

We've kept this baby of ours alive for over a year, and we managed to do it without killing each other! I know we still have a lot to learn as Baby Boy starts to stand his own ground and challenges us more and more. I know we're only at the beginning of this journey, but I'm proud of us so far. I am definitely not ready for a second time around yet, but when/if we are blessed to do this song and dance again, I think we might just be okay. Every day is a chance to improve and perfect this team we're on together. We just have to remember we are a team - and we're on the same one. There are times I would have given us a "C" many, many months ago, but we have bounced back really well, so after a challenging year of learning to communicate, to listen, to trust, and to compromise, I give Year One a solid "A."

My Birthday Gift

I'm no photographer, but I've wanted a higher-quality camera for a while. I guess I didn't make that a secret, and for my birthday, Mom, Bob, Brock, Mischelle, Kira, Erick, Sam, and all the kids got me a new Canon camera! I'm still learning all the functions, and I have a LOT to learn on how to make this camera my friend and take great pics with ease. I'm excited to learn this and document my family, my friends, and our activities. As you know from Banner's birthday party post, I made a video for him of the important photos throughout his first year. And, each anniversary, I have made (and will continue to make) a DVD for Sam documenting our year together. So, pictures are important to me. I'm not going to go into business or anything (I'll leave that to my cousin, Logan, and those like her who are more business-minded than I am), but photos capture so many great moments and emotions. So, I want to say thank you to my family for purchasing this gift that will keep on giving. I hope I'm not always the one behind the camera, but if I get to look at images like this, then I'll take it! What a gift!

A Little Jell-O Fun

So, I decided it would be okay with me to make a big mess in the kitchen while Banner had some edible sensory play with Jell-O. He ate way more of it than I had hoped (and I'm hoping he doesn't have any kind of gelatin allergy!), but he got really into it. I made three different flavors - and he definitely liked cherry the best (my kinda boy!). I set it in a small container and tried really, REALLY hard not to direct his play at all. We had to be somewhere after this (what was I thinking!?!), so I didn't get crazy with allowing toys in the Jell-O, but maybe another time... We immediately went to rinse off in the tub before leaving the house, and I think the Jell-O may have made my boy a wee bit hyper about an hour later. Anyway, I'm just proud of myself for trying a little bit of this sensory play. It's really challenging to find activities for kids Banner's age when all he wants to do is eat everything he gets his hands on/in. If you have any great ideas given this problem, please comment below.

Here are some quick pics:

32

Well, it's official. I'm 32 years old. How did that happen? I mean, I swear I was just at the skating rink blowing out candles on my 8th birthday cake or having a swim party at Grandpa's house for my 11th birthday. I've always looked forward to my birthday - the parties, the gifts, the friends and family surrounding me and wishing me well. I have great memories of so many birthday parties. We used to have wading pool parties in the backyard, sleepovers with scavenger hunts, and for all those years I was at sleep away camp, my mom would send amazing care packages with a birthday banner that she would have everyone in my family sign before sending it to me. (And, she would sign it once for every year old I was and I would have to find her sweet messages x number of times.) So many years, my bunk mates would wrap my bunk bed in toilet paper and shaving cream, and Mom would send a cookie cake to the counselors for my friends and me to enjoy. For my 16th birthday, I took the trip of a lifetime - left for Israel the day I turned 16. Lots of birthdays celebrated at Kobe Steaks, bowling parties with the whole family, and summer night swim parties. 21st birthday was spent in Austin at Hula Hut and then a bar on 4th street. I had a surprise party when I turned 17 and again before my 30th birthday - and then I rang in my actual 30th birthday in the middle of our honeymoon cruise, specifically in Provence, France! And last year at 31, I had my newborn baby to help me celebrate a year that would bring lots of change!

Like I said, I have always looked forward to my birthday. I used to say it was my favorite day of the year, and when it would end, I would be kind of sad because I had to wait a whole year for it to be my special day again. But, as I've gotten older, the excitement has faded a bit. And, especially now that I have a son, I feel like his milestones, his birthday, even his month-birthdays, are more significant to me. As Sam and I talked in bed last night, I told him I was kind of sad about my birthday. Turning another year older meant less time with Banner. One day I won't be here, and each year passing is like a ticking clock reminding me that I can't go back, time only moves forward, and I'm moving away from my own childhood. Each year older I get, I am closer to the "end." That is a scary thought. I'm not having any kind of mid-life crisis or anything like that, but I certainly feel more saddened by getting older than happy about it. It's like I feel myself saying, "Wait! I'm not ready to be 32 or any other year older! I just want to stay like this!"

I asked Sam last night if he wanted to make out with a 31-year-old for the last time. :) Ha! Too much information? Sorry, but the silly question sparked a weird realization in my head that I want to embrace these relatively young years. Just like I've always said with Banner, today is the youngest I'll ever be, so I may as well enjoy it and live it up! When I look back at my childhood birthdays and all those amazing times, they feel like yesterday - and I know today will feel like yesterday even 20 years from now. I actually remember, for some weird reason, my mom's 36th birthday. I was not quite 8. We were at Grandma's house. I don't remember much more than that - but she was 36, and that feels like yesterday.

Ugh, I'm just feeling so nostalgic and existential at this birthday. We don't know how much time we have left here on Earth with our loved ones. It's crazy to think about all that. It's scary. And, it's so ironic that you spend so much of your childhood waiting for your birthday, waiting to be older - to be 16 and drive, to be 18 and see that movie or to vote, to be 21 and have that drink. Then, at some point, as you realize your time here is limited, you are like, "Someone put on the mother f***in' breaks!"

New Adventures

Sam's new law firm is officially open for business, and we're hoping for LOTS of it! He's been wanting to start his own practice for several years now, but there never seemed to be a perfect time. I've always been supportive of this idea (except when he was right out of law school and we were newly engaged). We've talked about it for a long time, and as scary as it is for Sam to give up a steady salary, I want him to be happy, to dream big, to do what he wants, and to go for it! We both decided there was never going to be a "perfect" time - and this specific time, especially, seems entirely too crazy to actually start now, but at least I still have a couple months of paychecks still coming while we tread water on no other income. I told Sam in May that if he's going to do this, he has to do it NOW while we had a small cushion of money still coming in. Starting late August, I'm officially off payroll, so we're hoping we can make this work pretty quickly!

He's starting up with two other attorneys from the firm they just left. They mostly practice business law, both litigation and transactions, employment law, health care law, and transportation law - generally just commercial litigation. He has several clients that came with him to start, and each day he's hoping to add to that book of business. (So am I!)

When Sam talked about this before, I was really nervous. While I was supportive and encouraging, I was also tentative and weary because of the jeopardy our family could be in if he didn't succeed. I'm not a gambler. I like definitive answers and plans. I like predictability and reliability. So, leaving a job that paid a set salary each month so that we knew our income for the year, well, it just makes me a wee bit uneasy. Yet, I have a strong sense of calm about me. I have a faith in this business that I have never felt before, and I believe strongly that these three attorneys will make a great team and do great things for their clients. Out of blind faith, I feel a peaceful confidence that we will be okay, Sam will be happier, and we just might make a bit of money! So, please join me in congratulating my husband and his partners on starting up this business. Sam, I am so proud of you for chasing this dream and making it happen. I'm wishing you all the best as you embark on this new adventure. Thank you for taking me along with you. I know the road won't always be easy, but I'm right here next to you cheering you on and lifting you up. (But, if we are on welfare by the end of the year, I'll be asking you to stop "flying your own kite" and get a new job!) :)

**For more information about Sam's firm, please "Comment" below and I will forward his website to you!

Mother Clutter

I am so sick of the clutter in my house! I know I'm not alone in this feeling, so I'm gonna put it all out there! Keeping my house uncluttered was never my forte, just ask my previous roommates, right Robyn? Kira? Kira would probably tell you I'm the worst at putting things away. I have a bad habit of not unpacking after a trip, of leaving my water glasses all over the house (mostly at my bathroom sink), of leaving clean, folded laundry out wherever I folded it, and sticking anything I don't know what to do with on my kitchen table. It's awful! And, having a baby did nothing to make me more of a de-clutterer! Until now!!! I'm telling you, I am on a rampage to get this house in order. Now that it's my "place of work" as well as my home, I am determined to have a neat, tidy, organized house that I will want to keep that way.

I've always believed that your physical space is representative of your psychological and mental state - and vice versa. Looking at my house makes me stressed out. I'm stressed out, and then I can't even get started on taking control. I even did a staff "training" on this at school - telling teachers that the cleaner their classrooms were, the less stressed they would be. And, this is so true. So, I'm trying to clean the clutter in my house, and maybe the clutter in my brain will settle down, too.

When it comes to Banner's things, I feel pretty good about my system - his room and "things" are the only organized things in the house. I was like that at work, too. My entire classroom and student areas would be neatly organized, bright, colorful, presentable, and tidy - but throughout the day my desk would be a complete disaster. I firmly believed that it was important for my students not to pay the consequences of my clutter, so I never impacted them in that way, and every afternoon (and for sure on Fridays) I wouldn't leave until my desk was mostly clear so I could role model for them some kind of organizational skills... and I think that's why Banner's areas are so organized. I always put his laundry away. I always put his toys away. I go through his clothing pretty regularly to pull out what he has outgrown and pack it away or give it to my baby nephew. His diapers, wipes, books, towels, etc. are always stored neatly. So, I feel good about his areas. I do feel, however, that he is overwhelmed by how many toys he has now (even when I have hidden some of his birthday toys for later), and I need a system to help him really play with them. Just when I am ready to pack up his infant toys, he shows interest in them, so I'm not going to do that just yet, which makes for a crazy, colorful assortment in our living room. These toys then get strewn about the kitchen, dining room, bedrooms, etc.

So, I find myself "pinning" away on pinterest, looking for great ideas to help me organize, because I think most of my problem is that I haven't figured out a good system for where things go. I have found some great sites, and I'm starting to implement these great ideas. Sam may not think it's the best time for me to start going through our whole house - but with all the big changes in our lives right now (me resigning and him starting his own law firm), I feel the need to take control of SOMETHING! My house is my "victim" - a willing one in this case - because I can hear it screaming to me, "HELP ME, SAVE ME!" And, the thing is, I really value my house and the things and people in it, so I really want to be more in control of how those things and people are treated by de-cluttering!

So, I've divided up my house into 5 big projects:

• Project TOYS! I found this idea for rotating toy bins to make for easier, more fun play. I already went to Target and purchased 4 inexpensive clear bins, and while I was taking most of Banner's toys to equally distribute them into the bins, he was finding things to play with as if he'd never seen them before! I am in love with this idea, because a) we won't lose toys or keep searching for missing pieces/balls/shapes all the time and b) Banner will look forward to playing this different toys every four days. (I did keep my colorful toy organizer out which has some staple items he can play with daily, as well as the bigger, bulkier toys.) While I haven't put them away yet, here is a picture of the four tubs I'm using with a great assortment of toys for the boy. Each bin has at least one puzzle, one stuffed animal, one musical toy, one "talking" toy, and a few books. Then, the rest is an assortment of fun things Banner enjoys. We're on day three of the bin rotation, and so far, so good! I love this plan, and it's really working for us. The best part for Banner is "new" toys each day. The best part for me is that it's easy to clean up before bedtime, and my living room is clean, AND there are no lost toys or missing items!

This is the only "project" I have completed. The next few tasks will require future posts to see how I'm doing. I hope that by blogging about these projects, I will actually DO them! It will hold me a bit more accountable.

• Project LAUNDRY: There are way too many things piled up on my dryer. There are way too many unused things in the cabinets in this room. There are way too many things on the kitchen table that should stay right near the garage door - and the laundry room can house these things. So, I'm going to add a new cubby system, as well as a few hooks so that my purse, the diaper bag, shoes, and other knick-knacks can have a place. Sam and I will also be going through the cabinets to make better use of them.

• Project ARTS/CRAFTS: I have SO much crap stuff that I had in my classroom/office that I paid for myself years ago as a fifth grade teacher. I didn't want to just leave it or ditch it, so I brought it home in the hopes that I can utilize it with Banner. Things like sidewalk chalk, blank books, stamps, craft sticks, stickers, clothes pins, dice, buttons, magnets, colorful note cards, paints, etc. Don't know what I was thinking buying all that so long ago - I guess I thought I'd have time to do fun projects with my students (What the hell was I thinking? You live and learn!). Anyway, so I have so many doo-dads and things to sort through in boxes from my office/classroom, that I have to get a handle on it all. I don't want it to just sit there; I want to USE it, so I must be able to see what I have. I also have a ton of gift wrap that I need to organize. I have some inspiring ideas to help me: here, here, and here.

• Project KITCHEN: This is where I'm going to call in reinforcement: Mom and Kira. Soon after July 4th, Kira and Mom are coming over and helping me reorganize my kitchen. It's been a work in progress since Banner was born. His needs are changing - fewer to no bottles, more bowls, plates, sippy cups, silverware, and less baby food! So it's time for an update by making his things more accessible. My pantry actually looks great, thanks to some ideas I found here. But, I still have some clearing out to do. And, the fridge, oven, microwave, and dishwasher all could use a good scrubbing. I already started cleaning the fridge - but Banner was doing his best exploring and getting in my way a bit too much. If only nap time lasted a bit longer!

• Project BED & BATH: Really, the only thing needed in these areas is some major de-cluttering and donating! This is last on my list because I can handle this one a bit easier and probably during a nap time, too.

More to come on each project as I take charge of all this mother clutter!

12 Month Check-Up

Oh, Banner Boone! You have gone and grown up on me a whole lot today! First I want to tell you about your 1-year well visit today with Dr. B. You did great! It was fun watching you walk around the waiting room for the first time. You were friendly to the others waiting - walking up to them and smiling - and you kept Daddy on his toes as he chased you around when you tried to make your way to the back or out the front door when patients came in to the office. Luckily, just when he was about to lose his patience with you, the nurse called your name.

You did great as the nurse listening to your heart and checked your height, head measurement, and weight. But then, we had a long wait before Dr. B came to see you. You were all over that exam room trying to open cabinets, playing with the rolling chair, grabbing all the books from under the table, and wanting to touch everything you saw! Yes, it was a whole new world for you to explore, and you certainly kept us busy! Finally, when Dr. B walked in, he brought a medical student with him to meet you. You were friendly and cooperative for them. You didn't like your ears and throat being examined, but otherwise, you were great - and curious about what Dr. B was doing to you. You even made a funny "ehh?" sound as he unfastened your diaper to take a look at your goods. Almost like you were saying, "What the hell?" :)

So, here's what we learned about you today:

• You are 30.75 inches tall, which is the 75th percentile (You grew 3 inches since your 9-month check-up!)
• You weigh 23 pounds and 8.5 ounces, which is the 65th percentile. (You gained almost two pounds since your 9-month check-up.)
• Your head is 47.1 cm, which is the 70th percentile. (Surprisingly, this is down from the 75th percentile at your 9-month check-up.)
• The biggest change was your height! You shot up these past three months (when comparing you to your 9 month check up which may have been an inaccurate reading because at that time they told us you were in the 35th percentile - and we all doubted that was correct)
• Developmentally, you fall somewhere between a 12.5 month-old and a 15 month-old - based on our responses to the questions asked. When Dr. B told us this, the medical student asked when you started walking, and when I told him 10 and a half months, Dr. B said, "Yeah, he's always been pretty advanced." (Daddy and I loved to hear this - even though we are SO okay with wherever you happen to fall in these bell curves. We know you will learn at your own pace and are just fine with that. But, we are very proud of all your accomplishments and don't want to downplay that pride!)
• You are a healthy boy! We were excited to report to Dr. B that you did great with weaning you off of your reflux medication. 
• You got three shots: Hep A, Prevnar, and Varivax for chicken pox. Daddy and I decided to skip the MMR vaccine for now because we are just not comfortable with it at this young age. You'll get it eventually, but not yet. This round of shots was by far the hardest for you (and me). You are more and more aware of what is going on, and you cried an awful, deep scream of a cry immediately after the first two shots were administered at the same time (one in each leg). I kept waiting for you to take a breath, and I think Daddy even said, "Breathe, breathe!" to you as I held your hands and whispered in your ear that I loved you and that you were okay. You took longer to calm down when it was all over, but Daddy was right that once we left that exam room, the change of scenery really helped you. You laid your head on my shoulder as we checked out - so tired and exhausted from such a long visit and from being so late to start your second nap!  

We were told to stop the formula and replace it with whole milk, to stop bottles and only offer sippy cups, to introduce you to any foods we want other than nuts/nut products and uncooked honey, and to start brushing your teeth with a toothbrush instead of a washcloth like we were instructed to do your first year of life. So, big changes for you - and mostly for me since I'm so accustomed to following a specific plan/schedule for you each day. New routines are a good thing, but Mommy is not the best with change, so give me a couple days, and I'll be fine. YOU on the other hand, are so "go-with-the-flow" that you don't seem to mind a few of these changes! Here's how our night went:

• After your nap, we gave you a bottle of half formula and half whole milk. You seemed to like it! I was worried you would reject it, but so far, so good! (Aside: part of me was a big nostalgic as we finished our last bit of formula which has been the core of your nourishment your first year of life! Yes, I know, Mommy is extremely cheesy and emotional, but I feel like that formula and I have been through a lot together. It started off as my worst enemy as I felt like I was offering you poison when breastfeeding wasn't working out, then it was a cause of confusion when we weren't sure which one to offer you as a refluxy baby, and finally, it was our mainstay - a central part of our day (and once upon a time, our nights) that so many of my thoughts and anxieties revolved around!)
• Since Daddy didn't go back to the office after your appointment, we all ate a nice dinner together. You ate a great meal of cheese quesadilla, broccoli, and diced apples. You were cracking Daddy and me up with your "Soooo Big!" arm movements and saying "Wow!!" over and over.
• We played for a while before starting your bedtime routine. You had a great bath, and once ready for bed, you took what I hope will be your last bottle. (If I need to give you a few more every now and then tomorrow and the coming days, that's fine with me!) Yet another "goodbye" to your infancy - watching you and Daddy snuggled up in the glider with your bottle and those precious times of just holding you as you ate. 
• After your bottle, instead of trying to wipe your teeth with a washcloth, we took you to the bathroom for your first official "toothbrushing" session! :) You were not a fan of the fluoride-free toothpaste, but you liked the toothbrush with just water, and it was fun to hear those bristles scrubbing your little teeth. Yes, it's the little things that get a mom excited!! :) 
• Then, to bed you went after our Goodnight Sh'ma book Daddy and I have started reading to you each night. 

I am so proud of you my Angel Baby. I am so glad to know you are healthy, growing, developing, and learning! I love watching you each day, and I'm so proud to be your mommy! Here's hoping you and I both take to these changes well in the coming days/weeks. Thank you for being patient with me as we go through all of these learning curves together. And, thank you, for letting me be mushy and sentimental! Some days I forget that you are going to grow up and that our days of bottles, formula, and rigid schedules are going to be a distant memory all too fast. So, I'm mourning it now as it happens, and I promise to hold all of these memories for you! I love you!