In the Year 2015

What a Happy New Year around here! I just wanted to share the outcome of the discussion from the previous blog post entitled "How Do you Compromise on Something Uncompromisable?" from December 6, 2009. To recount, in short, Sam has always wanted a gun, and he's always wanted a dog. Both of these desires are ones I do not share, and quite honestly, I reject the idea of having either in our home for various reasons (please read the aforementioned post to get a more in-depth read about my views). Well, after a discussion with many friends and one detailed discussion with my best friend in Houston, I came up with an alternative to this dilemma. Sam has also desperately wanted a new phone - preferably a new iPhone, but he wasn't altogether against the Google phone. Because we would have to cancel our account with our current company to get the iPhone, I was really against paying a large sum of money to get out of our contract. But, feeling like Sam needs to have something he really wants that won't really upset me, I decided to make a proposal. The proposal was made on Thursday night, New Year's Eve. I presented the alternative in this way: "Go get whatever phone you want, whenever you want, and I won't complain or be upset - if you will not buy or request to buy a dog or a gun in our house for the next 5 years."

5 years sounds harsh, I know. . . and I know Sam thinks so, too. But, after more discussion, we decided this was a really good compromise. He gets something he wants; I get what I want. He is willing to wait 5 years to discuss the gun/dog issue later - with the understanding that we will most likely (God-willing!) have children of our own and will have a better understanding of how a dog and/or a gun in the house will affect those children and our lifestyle. Since neither of us believe a dog helps you prepare to have children, we don't think we need a dog before having kids - so this compromise acknowledges that we would have a dog AFTER having kids, which we both want more than a dog anyway. So, it's a nice little waiting period.

Sam gave himself a Sunday deadline to make up his mind on whether to take me up on the offer or not. This morning, he "locked it in" by buying a new Google phone - the more responsible choice between the iPhone and the Google phone, in my opinion. It was less expensive than getting out of our contract with our current carrier, and maybe in the next 2 years (for which our contract has now been renewed), our carrier will have the iPhone available for its customers. However, for now, Sam is very content with his new phone - finding lots of new apps and features that he wants. He's played with it all day long - and it hasn't hurt anyone, and it hasn't had to go out for a walk or needed to be fed or potty-trained! :) So, in the year 2015, we'll possibly broach the topic again. Maybe I'll be ready for one or the other, or both. Maybe he won't want one or the other, or both. But, in the meantime, we have found a way to compromise on something uncompromisable. Happy New Year to All! :)

A Quick Vent about the Irking Mundane

I'm typically a pretty positive person and don't get bent out of shape over normal, everyday stressors. But, hang with me for a minute as I have some little things on my mind that just plain irk me. I've been bound to my house for the past 5 days, sick and groggy day and night! Today I made my first venture to the store, actually got dressed and put on a little make-up! It was a big step after laying around in pajamas for 5 days straight only really moving around to shower, change pjs, brush teeth, blow my nose, drink some liquids, or take meds. Add that to being on a winter break that spoils me rotten. With that combination, getting back into the "real world" only reminds me of what just kinda bugs me about being a mature adult. With my regular work routine looming just around the corner, I am going to allow myself just this rare moment to be negative about typical, mundane things; just hear me out while I vent! Below is a list of things that just grate on my nerves as I continue to maintain and take-on adulthood:

-Remembering to pick-up our dry cleaning

-Dry cleaning at all!

-People who don't turn right on red

-Unpacking after a trip

-When it rains after you just cleaned your car

-Bananas that go bad too quickly

-Having to fill the gas tank up when it feels like I just friggin' did that!

-Cleaning up the house when I just did that, too!

-Annual doctor's appointments

-Getting in the short line at the store, then the longer one moves faster, and you realize you picked the wrong damn line!

-Paying for health insurance and still owing money at each appointment that is not covered by insurance

-Jury Duty - well, actually, this isn't so horrible and can be a day off work, but it's still boring

-Trying to figure out what to make for dinner

-Trying to figure out what to wear to work each day (or the next day)

-Throwing away food that has expired/rotted - I hate being wasteful and now I just have to go buy it fresh, again!

-Needing to buy stamps

-Getting caught up on paying off all bills and then getting another bill the next day

-Weeding the lawn/garden, again!

-Raking the leaves, again!

-Unloading the dishwasher

-When it seems every radio station is taking a commercial break and there's no music on

-Needing more milk or not having enough for my cereal

-Needing a hair cut

-Having to go to bed at a reasonable hour

-Waking up before the sun does

-Trying to get back into a work-out routine

-Shaving, again!

-Driving the same path to and from work - gets a little redundant, right?

-Putting on make-up each morning and taking it off each night, only to do the same thing the next day

-Maintaining my car: oil changes, inspection, how many years ago did I get new tires?

-Straightening my hair, or worse yet, and my best friends will agree with this one: actually planning when I should straighten my hair - like what day and what time of that day! sheesh!

-Ironing clothes

-Annoying "unknown" or "unavailable" calls from telemarketers we've already told to take us off of their list

As you can see, many of these items are basic upkeep/maintenance of everyday life and self-care. It's just funny how 5 day off from these little tasks will make you realize how much we really do as adults who are fortunate enough to be able to take care of ourselves and others, able to have a home, a job, and all that comes with it! I know I'm fortunate and lucky to have all of these things to "have to do," but I just needed five minutes to vent about it! There's plenty of things I didn't put on my list that I've come to actually enjoy, like laundry and grocery shopping and keeping up with emails. But, admit it - there are plenty of things that we all have to do to keep living a nice life but are just plain obnoxiously annoying. What are those things for you?

*Now, for more fun, uplifting things, check out http://www.1000awesomethings.com/! It will make you smile! :)

All Hail the Mighty Crock~Pot

Oh the wonders of the most impressive kitchen appliance! If you don't have one, you have to get one. If you have one, and don't use it, you have to start! If you only ever use it occassionally, you have to use it more often! The Crock-Pot is a gift to all home-makers - full of wonderful incentives: a great-smelling house, a perfectly cooked meal (yes, meal!), an easy clean-up, dinner waiting for you when you get home from work or a day of shopping and errand-running, and countless ways to make countless dishes! So this post will be dedicated to this most amazing kitchen must-have for the skilled or unskilled, lazy or overachieving cook.

From appetizers and snacks to drinks and desserts, the Crock-Pot meets all needs. Sam and I have made dips, desserts, chicken dinners, soups, and more in this little bucket of miracles! :) As long as I have all the ingredients, it's my go-to friend for an easy meal that will be waiting for us after a long day at work. We now own 4, yes four, Crock-Pots - various sizes and for various uses; but my favorite one is the one I just got in a White Elephant game over the holidays: a digitally programmable one - so it will turn off when the food is done cooking! Now I won't have to worry about my house burning down if I have to stay late at work or run a few errands more - a fear I've had being new to the Crock-Potting world! Below are a few of our favorite Crock-Pot recipes. Feel free to comment with your own favorite recipes! :) We also just got a new recipe book entitled Fix-It and Forget-It Lightly: Healthy, Low-Fat Recipes for Your Slow Cooker by Phyllis Pellman Good. I've bookmarked several of these recipes and plan to try them out soon!

Mexican Chicken, a variation of a recipe found in Crock-Pot: 5 Ingredients or Less

• 2-4 chicken breasts
• 1 medium onion, sliced (although, I can't eat onions, so I eliminate this!)
• 1 can cream of chicken soup
• 1 can Rotel
• 1 package (8 oz) Velveeta spread, cubed

*Place chicken, onion, soup, and Rotel in Crock-Pot. Cover and cook on Low for 6-8 hours on on High for 4 hours. Then, break up the chicken into pieces. Add cheese spread and cook until melted. Yummy over pasta or in a tortilla!
Rustic Garlic Mashed Potatoes

• 2 pounds baking potatoes, unpeeled, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
• 1/4 cup water
• 2 Tablespoons butter, cut into 1/8-inch pieces
• 1 1/4 teaspoons of salt
• 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
• 1 cup milk

*Place all ingredients (except milk) into Crock-Pot; toss to combine. Cover, and cook on Low for 7 hours or High for 4 hours. Add milk and mash with potato masher or electric mixer until smooth.
Easy Chocolate Pudding Cake, another variation of a recipe found in the above mentioned book

• 1 package (6-serving size) instant chocolate pudding/pie filling mix
• 3 cups milk
• 1 package (18 1/4 oz) chocolate fudge cake mix (plus ingredients to prepare mix)

*Spray Crock-Pot with nonstick cooking spray. Place pudding mix in Crock-Pot. Whisk in milk. Prepare cake mix according to package directions. Carefully pour cake mix into Crock-Pot. Do not stir! Cover, and cook on High for 1.5 - 3 hours (depending on cake mix) until cake is set. SO delicious, but makes a LOT, so serve at a party or for special guests!
Baked Potato Soup

• 2 potatoes
• 3 Tablespoons margarine
• 2 cups chopped white onion (or minced onion will work, but use less)
• 2 Tablespoons all-purpose flour
• 4 cups chicken broth
• 2 cups water
• 1 1/2 cups instant mashed potato flakes
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 3/4 teaspoon pepper
• 1/2 teaspoon basil
• 1/8 teaspoon thyme
• 1 cup half-n-half
• 1/2 cup shredded cheddar
• 1/2 cup bacon bits

*Peel and dice potatoes; boil until done (10 minutes boiling). Drain. Melt margarine in skillet and saute onion until tender. Take one cup of water and add 2 T. flour in a jar/container and SHAKE. Add this mixture to the butter/onions to make a roux. Keep it moving over low heat.
Put drained potatoes, chicken broth, 1 cup of water, and roux in Crock-Pot. Stir! Put in bacon bits and add half-n-half, pepper, basil, thyme, salt, and potato flakes. Stir more. Cook on low for 6 hours or low for 3 hours. Serve with cheddar cheese on top. Serves 6-8.
We're Crock-Potting tonight, actually. I'm making chicken and rice. I'll add a quick side-salad and some rolls, and we have an easy meal made by the time Sam gets home from work. I still feel sick, so I didn't feel like standing over a stove or taking a chance in breathing over a dish all evening. . . so this will be perfect! :) HAPPY CROCKING! :) (And, no, the Crock-Pot company is not paying me to say this, although they should, right?!)

In Sickness and In Health

So, my winter break started off great; then I got sick. Horrible allergies at first, I thought. Then, got a fever and had to sit out traditional Christmas events - movie with my side of the family, dinner and gifts with Sam's side of the family. I haven't missed a Christmas movie with my family - ever! So, I'm really bummed that I had to miss it. I'm the one who remembers all the annual movies in order and what we saw each year, from Nell to Anna & the King to Finding Forrester to Stepmom to Titanic to Catch Me If You Can to The Family Stone to Dreamgirls to The Great Debaters to Valkyrie. . . just to name a few. I am still upset that I couldn't go, but I felt so ill. The night before, as we do every Christmas Eve, we were at my ex-stepmom's sister's house (long story!). I felt pretty crummy that night, but made it to the party bad allergies and all. As the night went on, even though I was loving the white Christmas Eve and the cold weather, I felt more and more miserable. Sam put up with me on the slippery drive home as I worried about us crashing or skidding or bumping into other cars.

The next morning, Christmas Day, I awoke with a fever, sore throat, congestion, and a weak, achy body. I didn't want to keep Sam from going to the family events, but he chose to miss the annual movie and be with me. Later that afternoon, he went to his parents' to be with the family and open gifts, but he called to check in on me throughout the night. He's been such an amazing caregiver. He's made me countless cups of tea with Throat Coat teabags, insisted I keep drinking water or orange juice, brought me Christmas dinner from his parents' house, rubbed my back to help me sleep, gone to the pharmacy 3 times in 48 hours, and continued to keep me entertained with hours of Lost reruns. He's picked up dinner, fed me snacks, and brought me little treats throughout the past couple nights. He's never complained or moaned/groaned about my need for him to pick up a medicine or remedy. Sam's practically brought the pharmacy to me: Kleenex, Carmex, Mucinex, Benedryl, Sudafed, Abreva (for my new fever blister, lovely I know!), refill of my allergy prescription, milk, Popsicles, a box of cereal to satisfy a craving, and life's best medicine: laughter.

The past few days have been part of Sam's long weekend off of work. I have felt horrible that I'm sick and can't go out and have fun with him elsewhere, but he maintains that he's had a good time just hanging out in our little house. He could easily have just left me at home to go make plans with friends or hang out more with his family, but he doesn't want me to be at home alone. He's just been awesome. I hope I feel better soon, so we can get back to our normal active lives, but it's been nice having my husband here for me in sickness and in health.

Being a Wife on Winter Break

Many people talk about the perks of working in a school system. They mention how many days off we get, how we get a summer, spring, and winter break, or how we have great hours to be home by 4:00. Of course neither this specific post nor this specific blog is designed to address the downsides of working in a school system - the low pay, the countless unpaid overtime hours, the lack of salary increases, raises, or bonuses, and the high necessity of the breaks so we don't hurt ourselves or someone's child - no really, try staying sane while trying to teach - or at least MANAGE - 22-28 students in one classroom where every child either cannot sit still, doesn't listen, fidgets endlessly, falls out of the chair, has parents that will blame you for everything, throws up on you, has lice jumping out of his/her hair, has an individualized education plan for any number of reasons, yells at you, rolls their eyes at you, talks back to you, is gifted and thinks he/she knows everything, needs you to remember to send him/her to the clinic for meds at any hour of the day, cannot get along with any classmates, falls asleep in class, or suffers from any number of undiagnosed conditions such as ADHD, Autism, Dyslexia, Dysgraphia, ADHD, Learning Disabilities, Asthma, ADHD, Seizure Disorder, Mental Retardation, ADHD, bladder infections, sleep apnea, eating disorders, Deafness, ADHD, low vision, food allergies, irrital bowel syndrome, or any combination of the above listed problems. . . just try to get them to pass their district and state assessments while trying to stay sane without any summer, winter, spring, or Thanksgiving break!! But, as I said, I'm not going to go into defending my absolute need to have scheduled breaks to make it through the school year and how fair it really is. I'm just glad the state understands that I (as do my colleagues and students) need these times to recuperate and rejuvenate to be the best I can be at my job (and stay out of prison or the mental ward).

Needless to say, I'm on winter break right now. And, although it hasn't hit me that I have another week off after this one, I'm taking advantage of every minute trying to catch up with my personal life. I've been paying bills, running errands, buying groceries, doing laundry, cleaning the bathrooms, cooking meals, organizing finances, corresponding with friends, spending time with family, cleaning out my closets, watching a little TV here and there, and lounging around in pajamas. It's been busy, but very fun!

I'm still looking forward to seeing what the rest of winter break has in store for me. Believe it or not, I'm loving the cooking and cleaning. I feel so passionate about keeping this house in order and in having a nice warm meal for Sam when he gets home. What's better is that I enjoy this and Sam doesn't expect it from me - it's just something I can do while enjoying some time off of work. I like having the time, the energy, and the willingness to do these things. And, when I get the urge to nest - LOOK OUT - 'cause when I'm on a mission, nothing can stop me from cleaning and cooking anything I can! Here's to a fabulous winter break - with lots of organizing, cleaning, cooking, and relaxing!

How Do You Compromise on Something Uncompromisable?

Sam and I do a great job of talking to each other and communicating openly. There are no secrets kept and nothing too difficult to confront each other about. I think we also do a fabulous job at compromising on things we want and/or need. For instance, Sam loves to go out with friends to grab a few drinks with friends, as many people do. I don't particularly enjoy this. Because I don't want him to miss out on something that makes him happy, and because he doesn't want to make me do something that he knows I don't like, we compromise. He might go grab some drinks with friends, and I might go out with my girlfriends, or I might choose to stay at home alone. I win; he wins. I'm not mad at him; he's not mad at me. Another example: Sam admits he's a procrastinator. (I, too, procrastinate at times, by the way.... I'm not judging!) However, because we know this is a work in progress, we've both learned giving Sam a deadline works better. I've also learned that if he comes up with this deadline on his own, it's more likely to get done. So, we compromise on when tasks will be accomplished. I don't know how to mow the lawn, for example. I paid a service to do that before Sam moved in. He asked that I stop paying for that service so that he could be the one to do that. Well, sometimes the grass grows a little too long for my taste, so I ask him to mow it. Rather than nag him about it, I ask when he thinks he can do that by. He will give a deadline, and voila!, we have a plan that works for us both.

But, recently, we've come to two topics that may not always lend itself to a good compromise. I'm curious to know how other couples deal with these situations, when a compromise is not possible. What if I firmly believe in something I want, but he firmly believes in the opposite? The two topics to which I'm referring are ones that we knew would be issues for us. We didn't get into this marriage without already discussing these issues, but now that they are "upon us," we need to find a solution. But, what do you do when you just can't compromise? He feels that he's not getting what he wants/needs if I don't give in, and I feel like I'm not getting what I want/need if I give in to him. What to do!

I'm sure you're curious about the two topics. Well, the specific examples at hand really aren't important to this discussion because I'm merely questioning how to find a solution to something neither of us wants to give in on. The importance of the discussion and the underlying point is that this always happens in a marriage, and it will happen again, I'm sure. But, just to appease your curiosity, I will fill you in on the two topics.

The first is whether or not to get a dog. Sam really wants a dog. I do not. It's not that I don't like animals, especially dogs - I love them! - but, I just don't want the expense, time, and inconvenience of an animal in the house when the ideas of babies in the somewhat near future takes precedence. We both would rather have children than pets, so why spend money on pets when we want to budget and save for our kids? Also, it's one more thing to have to worry about. . . when we travel, who will watch our pet; are we giving enough attention to the animal, even when kids are born; potty-training; grooming; shedding; drooling; teething; knocking over things with its tail, etc, etc. I am just not willing to do this for a pet. I am for a baby, a human being - but not a pet. Many people tell me getting a dog lets you know if you're ready for a baby. Well, I think that's bullshit. Mostly, because, once you have a baby after getting a pet - well, hell, now you have a dog and a baby, making the baby care even more difficult! I hear my best friend on the phone yelling at her dog, while she's scolding her toddler, and nursing her infant. Screw the dog. We don't need that added stress. But, Sam really wants one - mostly for fun and companionship for our family. But, I know I'll end up being the one to care for the dog every night when Sam's hours are chaotic. I'm not saying I wouldn't love the dog; I'm just saying it's one more thing to stress over when I don't really want it. I don't really see myself as a pet owner, but Sam grew up with a dog in the house. I say he can get his dog fix at his parents' house, or at his sisters' houses. But, how do you compromise on this issue? One of us will have to give in to something he/she doesn't really want.

The other topic is whether or not to take advantage of the second amendment: the right to bear arms. Sam wants to purchase and house a gun. I have no interest in this. Quite adamantly, I feel the opposite and want nothing to do with having a gun in our house. I think they are more trouble than they are worth - more often being used in accidents than in protection. He says he wants to buy a gun for protection and for recreation (at the shooting range or for hunting). Well, we have an alarm for protection, and he can rent a gun for recreation. So, to try to put this issue to rest, I have asked that we both take the time to research the importance of a gun. Personally, I think they are accidents waiting to happen. He says we'll teach our kid(s) how to respect a gun. Well, what if our nephews or nieces come over and find it? What if our child's friend or neighbor finds it and uses it inappropriately? He says we'll lock it up and it won't have any bullets in it. Well, then, what are the realistic chances that in the event of an intruder we would have time to get to the location we keep it in, unlock the case, load the bullets, and have time for it to have any real utility? Slim to none in my opinion! He grew up with a gun in his house. I asked him in the 20-something years he lived there, how many times was the gun useful. He said none. My point stands, don't you think?

In any case, these two topics are quite hard to reach consensus on. I knew they would come up (and probably continue to surface) throughout our marriage, but it's not worth not marrying the man I'm in love with because we disagree on a couple topics. It's going to happen. But, how do you compromise on that? I've even suggested he buy a gun and keep it at his parents' house for when he wants to use it recreationally. That was a nice compromise; of course, if that's the case, save the money and borrow your dad's gun, right?!

Sam said I should pick one of these topics and let him have his way. He thinks that might be one way to compromise. Well, which one should I go with? The dog that will be lifelong work? Or, the gun that could potentially kill one of my children? Sheesh, the answer seems to be easy - go with the dog. But, that's a big commitment, too! How do you and your partner compromise on these kinds of topics? What if you firmly disagree on something? I'm sure these two topics won't be the last in which we don't see eye-to-eye. I am just at a loss on how to resolve it so neither of us holds a grudge.

Me or the Bossman, Revisited

Apparently, since my last blog, I've upset a few of my readers who believe I'm being too negative about the Bossman (and maybe a few other things I've given some social commentary on in the past). All's fair in writing and social commentary - so whatever you believe is fine with me. Furthermore, if you don't like my blog, then please don't upset yourself by reading it. I'm free to write about what I want, and you're free to read about what you want - so stop reading if my opinions are upsetting to you. Or, better yet, start your own blog about things that you'd like to report about. You have to understand that I'm a counselor, and I listen to others tell me about their feelings all day long! While I enjoy my profession, I deserve a chance to get to tell readers (people who elect to view my thoughts I'm willing to share) how I feel. It's also a place to think about things in a unique outlet. It's not a diary or journal, as it's for public eyes. (That's right; I don't blog about my most personal happenings or thoughts. Believe it or not, I do believe some things should not be discussed on the web for strangers, or even family and friends, to know.)

My blog has given me a great place to start conversation between friends, open up new ways of thinking about the world, and unleash in "public" some of the ideas that many women have but won't say. But, I don't want anyone to ever feel personally attacked by anything I write - including my husband, who is the first to read every entry - in fact, I read it to him before I post whenever he is included in a post - as a rule of fairness. He has never asked me to change anything, unless my point is unclear. If people feel that he is upset or offended by my posts, then be reassured right now that this is not the case and that my husband loves that I am able to speak my mind, consider new ideas and share them, and get things off my mind in a way that allows for continued dialogue rather than just journal writing (which I've done all my life and felt like I wanted to try something new in blogging). In addition, I think he's incredibly accepting and has been entertained with these discussions that begin on my blog. Lastly, if you know me well enough to hear my voice in my postings, you know that I'm rarely negative in these posts, but rather scarcastic, funny, and only good-intentioned. Sam laughs with me when I read him my blogs, or he likes the way I think or state something. So, please be assured that the blog has done only positive things for my relationship with him.

As for the previous entry, someone noted that missing my husband is the world of working life and being married to a lawyer. Yes, I realize I married a lawyer (see the first paragraph in the last posting). I said that. I know that. And, yes, it would be the same as being married to a doctor or other job where the employee is far away or working late hours. However, my point was that I miss my husband and wish I didn't have to miss him like that. This previous someone made me recognize that I had forgotten in my post that I should be thankful and appreciative that Sam has a job these days and that he is successful. I do recognize this, and I was glad that someone reminded me to be thankful. I did, by the way, state that I was thankful that he had a job at Thanksgiving last week. But, I suppose my point was not that I'm disappointed in him having a job. I am glad he has a job, and I'm even more elated that he LIKES his job! I merely suggest that as a society we value work more than family sometimes. And, I miss my husband when he has to work long hours. I think that's a good thing. It's certainly better than sitting on the couch thinking, "Man, I'm glad he has to work a lot tonight. Who needs him?!"

Look, when the man gets home at 12:30am sometimes, I have the right to miss him. I don't get upset with him, and I cut him all the slack he needs. I don't bother him about it or get mad at him; I realize he misses me, too, and wishes he could be here with me. My blog post was merely a way to vent about the hardships many of my friends and collegues complain about when it comes to our husbands working long, crazy hours. I'm very proud of Sam. I love that he's motivated to please his boss, and I'm glad he gets up each day and puts in the time he does to his work. He's a good man. He's a really great husband, too. I hate it for him that he has to be at the job so many hours, sometimes frustrating hours, while he knows I miss him.

If you've ever been in love or had a husband, you can understand what I'm talking about. The weekends (that your partner is not working) are amazing, and by Sunday you don't want them to go to work the next day, because you're having such a nice time with them, without the chaos and unpredictablity of the work week. Neither of us want to go to work on Monday mornings, and it's hard to get back into the swing of things. However, I'm thrilled that I have a job and that he has a job when we both want to be working and contributing to an income. But my frustration with missing my husband only means two big things: I LOVE HIM, and maybe more importantly, I LIKE HIM!

Me or the Bossman

My husband works too much. It sucks. I hate it.

I realize I married a man who has a fairly new job. I realize I married an attorney. I realize I married a man who has a hard time saying no to his job due to his strong sense of commitment. I realize I cannot help this situation because he needs to work and he can't upset the bossman. Ultimately, I realize that the bossman status beats the wife status. And, that's what I hate.

So, I think I speak for all spouses who have a hard-working, hour-after-hour-spending partner who won't or can't say no to the bossman or bosslady when I say THIS SUCKS! Here's the part where I start to vent:

I have made a vow, a public announcement, a legal agreement to marry and stand by this man, a man I love and want to see do well. I have stood before my family, friends, God, and my love stating that I will unconditionally love, adore, and accept this man for all of my life. ALL OF MY LIFE! Bossman never did that. Bossman made no such legal agreement to employ my husband all of his life. He never stood publicly in front of his family or friends saying that he will unconditionally accept my husband. In fact, he quite ultimately only employs my husband very conditionally based upon job completion and performance. So, why then does Bossman get to have the final say?

See, I see it so clearly as an American problem. Here I sit by myself, waiting for my man to come home, not knowing: if I should make dinner, if I should do my own thing, if I should wait for him to eat, if I should go on and watch our show without him, if it would be horrible to go to bed without him, if he's still alive, did he have an accident, why hasn't he called, how many days will this last, will I be the one to do everything around the house forever? So, I'm suffering here while my longlife partner has to stay at work to meet a deadline, write a report, contact a client, document his billable hours, type a brief, or clean up all for Bossman. Meanwhile, I could have given the husband a deadline, asked him to pay a bill, call the repairman, schedule an appointment, or clean up his mess - and I still won't see any completion of these tasks until I nag him endlessly.

Why does Bossman trump wife? I realize Bossman has money, and he can pay my husband (and therefore me) so we can afford our life. I realize Bossman creates opportunities for growth, professional development, and advancement. But, I'm wife - I hold sex in my power, I hold child-bearing in my power, I hold my husband's future happiness in my power. Wouldn't you think that's more important? I'm not suggesting that I withhold these things from him as a punishment or any kind of bargaining chip. It's merely a reflection of why my status as a man's wife should override the power a bossman has on that said man. If Bossman called and said, "You need to work on Saturday and Sunday. I need your help," then the husband is up and gone - perhaps begrudgingly so - but he's up and gone! Yet, I might have to ask for a favor two or three times! If we have plans with friends at 7:00pm on a Friday night, but Bossman wants him to work later than that, well, then, there goes our evening plans and my pride as I tell our friends he can't make it.

My husband is a good man. I love him, and I love that he wants to provide, wants to do well, wants to make a good impression, wants to keep his boss happy, etc. I know he doesn't wish to work late or try to stay late when he could come be with me at home. I know he hates that I'm waiting for him hours after I have left my own work. But, why, as a society, do we allow our work and our bosses to override our family lives, our happiness, and our personal well-being? Other countries, believe it or not, are NOT like this. Family comes first in other countries. Mothers and fathers are given time off with their kids and families; maternity and paternity leave are paid for - for months or up to a year; it's important that all citizens be home by a reasonable hour so they can eat dinner with their families. So, as soon as I can get up the nerve to leave my mom, my siblings, and my nephew and niece: we're moving to Copenhagen!

Thanksgiving Pies!

As far back as I can remember, as long as I could cook, I have been contributing to our family's Thanksgiving dessert table. I have made numerous pumpkin pies (my favorite!) trying out different crusts and decorative tips. Two years ago, Sam and I took a Thanksgiving pie class at Central Market. As with most cooking classes, we loved the time in the kitchen together, learning a new trick or recipe, so we decided to take the class again. This time, competing a little more to see whose pie could turn out the most beautiful. Throughout the class, the instructors continued to compliment both of us on our skills. I got lots of praise on my dough making, my rolling skills, and my decorating skills. Sam continued to get kudos from other students, as well, who admired the decorative skill he had - bringing up the fact that he is a guy and that most men don't care for baking. I made a pumpkin pie and an apple pie. Sam made an apple pie and a sweet potato pecan pie. My pumpkin pie crust, similar to all the other students', turned out very lopsided! I was pissed! Sam just kept trying to encourage me, even though I was ready to trash mine and go home and make another (since ones I've made in the past are beautifully decorated - with braided crust edges, leaves circling the pie, or added decor on the filling). So, he kept telling me to calm down and get over it - probably, internally, pleased that he didn't choose a pumpkin pie that would look like mine! His pecan pie turned out great! Haven't tasted it yet, but it looks great. Our apple pies probably tied, after the car ride home and much judgment by my mom and step-dad. Sam's looked better at the class, but after it cooled, I think ours both looked awesome (his deflated a little and then matched mine).

Either way, I'm sure the pies are delicious. And, they were certainly made with lots of care and a great deal of love. We care deeply for the loved ones we made them for, and we had a lot of fun making them. Tonight, I'll be making some side dishes for the holiday, and my niece and nephew will be spending the night! We'll have a full-house tonight, and I can't wait for all the fun of Thanksgiving!

Who Needs Thanksgiving When You Have a Sunday Dinner?

Okay, so food happens to be a big part of our daily life. We love to eat it, enjoy preparing it, wish we could cut back on it, and constantly plan for it. For some reason, I love to cook on Sundays. I get an "itch" on Sunday afternoons to prepare a good meal to start our week off right. With extra time to plan and buy my ingredients, Sundays are perfect for good meals. Sam and I bond in the kitchen, too. We share ideas for recipes, teach each other new things, and experiment with new ideas and tastes. This past Sunday, I was in the mood to whip up some of my favorite Applesauce muffins for my coworkers before Thanksgiving, and I wanted us to try out a recipe we learned to make in a cooking class in July. So, here are some pics from our Sunday evening in the kitchen. We also made barley with mushrooms, but that dish didn't make it into the camera. It was delicious, though! Stay tuned for more Kitchen pics of our Thanksgiving Pie class tomorrow. We'll have our annual contest to see whose Thanksgiving Pies come out prettier and tastier! Here's to hoping my baking beats Sam's in every way possible!