Losing Control, Continued

So, after I published my last blog post, my pregnant friend emailed me to tell me how much she liked what I had to say. She wanted to make sure, also, that I didn't think she was being silly for saying what she said about feeling out of control. Of course, her comments are not silly in the least! She is dead-on... right on target as she embarks on this parenting journey! Here is what I emailed back to her:

"Glad it made you feel better… you just made me think of how I really haven’t posted about this topic, and it’s an issue I tackle every day. In fact, a teacher friend of mine who has 2 kids -one in elementary school, one in preschool – told me she loved my post and that control is an issue for her on a daily basis still. We had a 5 minute venting session, and she told me that no matter how old Banner is, it will always be an issue, but that the reasons for it just change. Where I’m waiting for him to finish a bottle so I can keep getting ready for work, she’s arguing with her daughter about keeping her hair fixed that morning. It’s always going to be something, and as a new mom in the early days of Banner’s life, I would almost have panic attacks recognizing that my “old life” was completely gone. . . Banner wasn’t going anywhere (not that I wanted him to, of course!!) and he would be in my life FOREVER. I couldn’t undo any of it even for a moment. A couple nights ago, I pulled the sheets over me and Sam – completely over our heads, and said, “Look, it’s just us again!” I love my baby, and I love being a mom, but sometimes I miss having control, having time for Sam, having alone/me time, and certainly having worry-free days/nights. It’s a huge transition, and it’s good to ask questions, vent, and pick others’ brains. If anything, it reminds you that everything you’re feeling is normal and NOT crazy!! I like you MORE for saying what you said because you’re being real about your feelings and thoughts. I can’t stand moms who won’t talk or act like everything is perfect. It’s one thing to be optimistic, hopeful, or excited about your baby and mommyhood, but it’s another to act like it’s not hard. I’m always here for you, and I know you are for me, too!"

I thought this response was publish-worthy because it speaks to how Moms can really help each other if we just open up and discuss our honest emotions. It is SO.NOT.EASY, so why go-it alone? Why not support each other? This blog has been an outlet for me, but it has also opened up conversation between my friends and family to help me (and them!) through any rough patches and certainly through transitions that we are all facing. Just like I used to (and still do) go look at blogs of moms whose kids are older than my child, I have become a sounding board for moms of kids younger than Banner. And, even though we're all putting this information out there in cyberland, I'm feeling so much better about knowing that we're creating a community for safe disclosure and of supportive guidance where no question or concern is too crazy, silly, or unshared. So, keep blogging, keep talking, and keep being authentic about your feelings. After all, I'm not so sure when they say, "It takes a village," that the village isn't there to also help keep Mommy sane!