Oh, the Drama

Engagement is a funny thing. It's incredibly exciting, and everyone is happy for you. I'm happy for me. I'm happy for Sam. It's one of those fun times where you get lots of attention for doing absolutely nothing but falling in love. Lots of attention. For someone who doesn't need a lot of attention to function well, this was quite a change. Not only do I not need the attention, but I don't need the attention to detail that inevitably becomes the drama! No one tells you that engagement is full of dramatic decisions, dramatic discussions, dramatic emotions. So many things to think about that you otherwise would care less about: who's on the guest list, what should the invitations look like, does he/she get a date, how many bridesmaids is too many, where should all these people sit, where should the groomsmen stand, what if that person doesn't get along with that person, how do I tell her she's not invited, what if that dress looks horrible on her, what do you want the flowergirl to wear, should we really spend money on napkins, what about the damn chair covers, will the chuppah be big enough for all of us to stand under, what if it falls on top of us, won't my dress wrinkle when I lift it to walk around Sam, where should we get the portraits taken, what if it's too hot in August for portraits, will my hair look okay, did everyone make their hotel reservations, who gets a hospitality bag, can we cut them from rehearsal dinner, do I want an aisle runner, is the font on the program too small, and SOOOOOOOOOOO on! That doesn't even include the PERTINENT questions for the MARRIAGE: should we have a joint account, should I add you to my insurance, will we pay taxes jointly or not, will I change my name, where will we spend holidays, how will we share time with our families?

Once someone finds out your engaged, they want to know where it is, when it is, are you done planning, are you SO excited?! I actually went to try on dresses for rehearsal dinner a few weeks ago, and the lady helping me asked if I was done planning. I told her we were still working on a few details and minor touches, but mostly we were done. I went on to say how glad I was that the planning is almost over, and I can't wait to just enjoy being married after the wedding. Her response was so typical: "Oh, honey, this is the best time of your life. Planning your wedding is so exciting; there's nothing better. You should enjoy every minute of it." I replied to her, "Yeah, I just can't wait to relax and enjoy my husband without the drama of the planning." She insisted that I needed to be having more fun planning, to which I replied, "Yeah, it's just not that fun!" I was so annoyed with her by the time I left the store. Planning a big event like a wedding is stressful and can be dramatic - what doesn't she get?! I know it will all be worth it in the end, we'll have this amazing weekend and we'll be so glad we spent time planning a beautiful event (that often left us sleepless and frustrated along the way), but just acknowledge the fact that the details have been so dramatic; the people have been so dramatic; the emotions have been so dramatic. Just at least acknowledge the stress!