The "Zzzzoo"

This morning, Sam and I took Banner to the zoo for the first time. To say it was great would be an understatement. We had a blast, and Banner seemed to be taking it all in. I was a bit worried about how a trip to the zoo (which is 30+ minutes from our house) would go given Banner would have to miss a nap. We opted for him to miss his morning nap; it would be cooler, and we could just get up and go. He woke up at 7:15, and since the zoo doesn't open until 9:00, we had a little time to finish making lunches, get ready and packed up, and head out the door. Somehow, though, we ended up leaving the house around 9:00 - much later than anticipated. I was hoping Banner might fall asleep on the way there for a short catnap, but no luck.

When we got there, Banner was intrigued by all the animals. The first animals he saw were the penguins, and his face in this first picture (below) describes his curiosity throughout the day. We loved showing him the animals - at times having to point them out to him - and then signing to him the animal we were looking at. His favorite part, though, was when we'd let him out of the stroller and let him explore on his own. He'd get quite talkative and squealy during these times and would liven up a lot! Interested in the animals when he was out of the stroller? Not so much. He was more preoccupied with studying the ground, the Velcro on his shoes, walking circles around and around the zoo map which he placed on the ground near his feet, and trying to pick up things to put in his mouth. He also really enjoyed the Children's Zoo area, particularly the stream of water we let him splash around in (although he tried numerous times to drink the water; he may have succeeded once or twice). By then, we knew it was time for lunch, so we enjoyed some air conditioning at the food court and ate the yummy lunch I had packed prior to leaving (see photos below).

About ten minutes after we put Banner in the car, he passed out! He hasn't slept in the car in many, many months. I'm glad to know he still can/will if he's tired enough. Unfortunately, he woke up as we pulled into the garage, and now he's been in his crib for an hour talking and playing. No good nap today, I guess! (And THAT really bothers me. But, we'll see how the rest of the evening/night/tomorrow goes! EEK!)

Oh, and I almost forgot to mention the reason I titled this post The "Zzzzoo." In the middle of our visit, Banner turned to Sam (who was carrying B at the time) and said, "zzzzoo." We were a bit shocked but kept repeating it back to him, and he kept repeating it back to us. Even when we got home hours later, he kept saying "zzzzo" or "zahh" or "zoo" as I got him ready for his nap play time in his crib.

Enjoy some pictures below! And a big thank you to Mom, Bob, Brock, Mischelle, Kira, Erick, Caden, Mara, and Brycen for our zoo membership! We had a great time!

Curiosity and Intrigue at this new place!

Penguins!

Seeing his first real elephant with Daddy

"Look!"

Watching the elephants

Loved the Sahara!

Can't get over these eyelashes!

Banner feeding the giraffe some lettuce

Mommy & Banner - hard to get B's attention

Too much going on to get eyes towards the camera

The gorilla looks overwhelmed. Banner says, "Oy oy oy oy oy oy!"

Chillin' out!

Banner waves to the gorilla

Loving walking around!

"I think I'll just sit right here!"

Monkeys!

"It's okay. They're not real."

Banner & Daddy in the dark

Love!

This one's for Zaide!

Sam's stance as he is trying not to get frustrated with Banner's obsession with the gravel (and not the fish).

Play time!

Lunches by Mommy

 

The lunches were my attempt at a bit of creativity. Sam and I had the "ZOO" sandwiches which were made of peanut butter (and one had honey on it - my favorite!). Other than that, we each had a bit of everything (and I packed a lot since you just never know what kind of foods Banner will eat or not these picky days). On this day, he ate a few bites of banana, a few bites of his tortilla/cheese animal sandwiches, a slice of orange, a few blueberries, a couple peas, and more than enough goldfish and animal crackers. He also tried a few bites of my "Zoochini" flowers but turned them down - a huge surprise, as he normally LOVES zucchini. I had fun making this random assortment lunch. My favorite is the animal print cupcake liners. (I turned them inside out so we could enjoy the design more while celebrating Banner's first zoo experience.) I say overall it was a great day. Can't wait to go back for more, especially as Banner becomes more knowledgeable and interested in all the animals, their noises, their signs, their habitats. Oh, and can't wait to hear my sweet boy continue to keep saying ZZZOOO!

A few more notes on 13....

I know, enough about Banner... but, this is going to be "published" some day, and I want to make sure I say everything I want to say and not forget a thing! So, with that, I have a few more things to add to his 13 month post. All of this could really be added to any of the monthly updates before now, but it occurred to me, as Banner and I watched the rain together from the back screen door, that I haven't ever really written about a few things. I could wait until his 14 month post, but I don't want to. I want to tell about these things NOW because I can't believe I've never written about them.

-Banner has exceptional hearing. He hears every small noise. My sisters-in-law have often noted this, too. He is curious about every sound he hears and will let you know that he heard something by quickly reacting to any number of noises. He could be rooms away and hear the refrigerator open and come dashing into the kitchen, for example. This is perhaps why we have to be really quiet in my house during nap and bedtime.

-Which brings me to my next point, Banner is a very, very light sleeper. My cousin (whose son is only two weeks older than Banner) once told me that they change her son's diaper before they go to bed each night - while he sleeps. Um, what? The thought of this made me anxious as I pictured it it my mind. Forget touching Banner while he's sleeping or trying to maneuver his pajamas off of him to expose his goods to the cold air! Hell, turning the (quiet) knob of Banner's door to his bedroom would cause him to wake up! It amazes me that some kids could sleep through that. I wish Banner was a more sound sleeper. Even at nap time, if you walk by his bedroom door at the wrong time, he'll wake up. If you shut the backdoor too quickly or loudly, the suction of air that causes Banner's door to rattle even the tiniest bit will wake him up. In fact, on the days that Sam has to leave before Banner is awake, within moments after Sam shuts the door, Banner is suddenly awake. Like I said before, not only is he a light sleeper, he hears EVERYTHING! (Oh, and this is despite the fact that we did everything we could early on to make noise when he slept! He was great early on. Things change.)

-He pays great attention to detail. Banner notices the tiniest of things. Like at his 12 month photo shoot, he was standing on a log cabin porch, and he bent down to touch the nails in the wood. He tried very hard to pick it up, and then when he realized it doesn't move, he moved on to trying to pick up the tiny rocks in between the wooden slats. (We were doing our damnedest to get his attention and get him to look at the camera, too!) I will sweep and vacuum this whole house, and no matter how good I do it, Banner is sure to find the one morsel of thread, rock, grass, rice, lint, crumb, etc that I missed or didn't see. Today, he found the ittiest bit of paper (or cotton?) under the couch. He used his annoyingly-good pincer grasp to get it between his thumb and forefinger to hand it to me. (Usually he will hand whatever he finds to me and as I reach for it, he will put it in his mouth, so I have to be ready to grab it before he psychs me out!) If I'm not watching 100% of the time, he will easily find the most seemingly microscopic ANYTHING and put it in his mouth. . .

-and because of his sensitivity to certain textures, he will inevitably spit it out, especially after exploring it for a few minutes with his tongue. I can't blame him on this incredible sensitive mouth. He gets it from me. Sam has always thought I was weird when it came to being able to feel a strawberry seed or a blueberry seed sitting on my tongue. I will manipulate it out of my mouth, just like Banner can. In fact, I hate vanilla bean ice cream because I can feel the itty-bitty beans, and it bugs the crap outta me! So, my boy gets that from me. I will see him trying to maneuver whatever he doesn't like out of his mouth and wait for him to spit it out. Although I don't know how many things he's actually swallowed, I'm usually pretty calm when he does put something inedible in his mouth because inevitably he will not like the texture and spit it out. He's done this with grass, thread, and even a bug this morning! Lovely.

-Banner is a fast learner, is extremely curious, is highly alert, and has his mommy's memory. He's always been alert - since day one! He always wants to know what we are doing. He can't stay still on the changing table - never has since he could roll. Cooking while Banner is in the kitchen is a nightmare, because he wants to see everything. Opening the fridge has become some kind of Olympic sport - figuring out how fast you can get in and out of there without him interfering. He's a keen observer and will imitate what we do. (I'm sure this is true for most toddlers!) He notices when something's different (like Mommy wearing a band-aid or wearing glasses). He is determined and won't give up easily - although he gets frustrated when he can't do something he wants to do (like reach a ball under the couch). Yesterday, Sam and I watched him try to figure out how to get behind the big arm chair near the fireplace when the first attempt failed. And, like I said before, he is very detail-oriented. He has mastered turning toys on and off by himself, taking the back of the remote control off, and opening the child-proof locks on drawers and cabinets (yeah, those were a big help, huh?!).

-Banner's got a pretty laid-back personality, and he's usually pretty happy-go-lucky. I definitely see some limit-testing and boundary-breaking heading our way, but I know that's normal for this age. I hear that one is the "new two" so I'm preparing (not ready, though) for the tantrums and mood swings that are sure to greet us soon.  He seems pretty social, which is a good sign given the other items on this list so far! (I always worry about Autism/Asperger's just because I have seen way too many cases at work. When I wrote about the sensitivities above, I don't mean that he's upset or bothered by textures or noises - just keenly observant of them.)  He likes his play group friends and interacts with them (as much as a 13-month-old can) appropriately. He watches other children, seems interested in them, and sometimes tries to "talk" to them. I can't wait for him to develop true friendships with other little kids. He's such a silly, funny, neat little boy. I certainly want to be friends with him! :)

Okay, that's enough. Just had to get that out. Sorry for the double blog post at the 13-month mark! I promise I won't do anything like this again - at least not til next month! :)

Our 13-Month-Old

Dear Banner,
As the mother of a young infant, I couldn't wait until you were 12 months old! I remember in the very early days feeling like those days of having you as a one-year-old were SO far from my reach. Having a 12 month old seemed like the ultimate goal for me because I knew I'd know you better by then. I knew you'd be walking or about to walk. I knew you'd be attempting words. I knew the SIDS risk significantly decreased at 12 months - definitely something that would make me rest maybe a tiny bit better at night (you know me... I will always, always worry about you!). I knew it meant that I had been through every season, every month, every day of a whole year with you in my life. And, I couldn't wait for that! But now that 12 months have come (and gone), I'm ready for time to slow down just a bit. Just like every other "night before you turn a new month older," as I said my final goodnights last night, tears streamed down my face as I remembered you as my newborn baby. As much as I love you and love how much we know each other now, I miss my tiny boy who loved skin-to-skin, who would wrap his itty-bitty fingers around just one of mine, who worked so hard to hold his head up even in those first few days of life! You are such a curious little boy - always have been! - so I'm delighted to see you grow and learn. But, just don't be in such a rush! Mommy wants to embrace all of these days we have with you so little.

So, what are you up to these days? Well, this past month has been busy, fast, and full of amazing new skills!

-Perhaps the biggest change has been an explosion of the language center in your brain! You are very aware that objects have names, that words have meanings, and that sounds create these words. Not only can you repeat lots of sounds after us (you're especially good at /a/, /b/, /w/, /g/, /m/, and /d/), you are getting pretty awesome at trying to copy our words. For instance, a few days ago, you surprised us by trying out "waffle" which sounds like "wah-wah," "cracker" which sounds like "cackah," "bubble" which sounds like "bubba," "bagel" which sounds like "gagel," and "cupcake" which sounds like "cuh-cak." You also have attempted "dangerous," "danger," "yucky," "dirty," and you typically attempt "Thank You" when you know WE would say that to you (like when Daddy asks you to push the button to open the garage door). You say "Wow!" and "Whoa!" all the time, and when you like a food, you always say, "Mmmm!". You say "Dada" or "Dadu" for Daddy, "Mama" for me, "baba" or "bah-ul" for bottle, and "naNAna" for banana. You also say "haa" for "hot," as you wave your hand up and down - a sign you created on your own. Speaking of signing, you  are signing "more" and "finished" without prompts now. Aside: For a good solid week, you were having some night-wakings again, which Daddy and I hate because we never know why it keeps happening. You are easily soothed by us, and you put yourself back to sleep once we have held you for a few minutes and then cry yourself back to sleep after we leave your room, but that only lasts 1-2 minutes. This also happened right before you learned to walk, so we think maybe your brain was on overload trying to figure out the language thing that week and sleeping well was not on your agenda.

-Along those same lines, your receptive language has improved drastically, too! You understand simple commands like, "Can you hand me that red ball, please?" or "Banner, go get your water." You follow directions when we point to something, and you know the meaning of so many words ("nap," "light," "change diaper," "paci," "crib," "ball," "water," "bottle," "dinner," "snack," "lunch," "oatmeal," "Cheerios," "more," "all done," "shower," "bath," "kitchen," "outside," "dog," "horsey," "phone," "mail," "bubble," "mouth," "eyes," "hair").

-Your favorite book right now is Baby Animals where we read the names of animals and make their sounds. You can say "Bah" for sheep, and if we roar first, you will roar like a lion.  You also like your Curious George counting book and will look for George on each page. When I ask you, "Where is George?" you can find him and point to him.  I LOVE this!

-This month, we added whole milk, strawberries, raspberries, cauliflower, and raisins to your diet. (In addition to the cake you had at your birthday party and on the 4th of July.) You still love fruits and veggies, and I hope you continue to! You love breads/tortillas/bagels/crackers, cheeses, and beef. I tried to give you eggs on three different occasions, and you tossed it each time - but I'll keep trying. Chicken is still "hit-or-miss" with you, but I'm not giving up because I make that the most. I'd like to introduce fish soon, too, although I'm not a fish eater, so I'm not sure how to even prepare it! You did not like cottage cheese, and lately, green beans are spit out after you eat the actual beans inside.

-You blow on food that is hot (and a lot of times, food that is not hot)!

-You love the whole milk we introduced after your 12-month check-up, but getting enough ounces in you each day is tricky if we use the sippy cup. So, you still take 3 bottles a day (6-7 ounces in the morning, 4-5 ounces after one nap, and 7-8 ounces before bed). You are also drinking a lot of water (only in a sippy cup) which keeps you hydrated and less constipated. :) You're welcome!

-You probably really need the bottle still. You are not ready to give up that "sucking" time. And, I've decided I'm not in any hurry for you to give it up. You are still very young, and I'm okay with a bottle still (even if your doctor isn't). We'll wean eventually... I have no doubt that you will start Kindergarten bottle-free! Speaking of sucking, you also use your paci but it is not allowed to leave your room. You have them (yes, all 4) in your crib and on your changing table, but that's it. Again, I'm okay with this and know you won't go to college with pacis!

-Physically, you are still strong as ever! You are now CLIMBING! Mostly, you climb up on the fireplace hearth, but you also climb on couches, stairs, and tables. It won't be long before those little legs are helping you hoist yourself up onto any other number of dangerous places. . . . giving Mommy small heart attacks!

-You are getting better at letting me brush your teeth!

-Since Daddy works at home now, you are pretty confused! He's here in the house with us, but he can't play with you! He often will come out of his "office" for a restroom break, for a cup of coffee, or maybe to have lunch with you. But, when he goes back to his room, you are pretty pissed about it. I wish I could explain it to you, but usually a good distraction helps ease your disappointment. This whole new arrangement is significantly different than a couple months ago! Mommy now stays at home? Daddy works in the room next to yours? We aren't rushing to get to Grandma's every weekday? What is going on? I'm sure you are a bit baffled, but this will become our new norm, and then when Daddy gets his own real office, we'll miss him terribly! It is nice having him give you breakfast or help cook dinner, right? And, most days he gets you up from at least one nap.  I know I, for one, am loving that he's here and soaking up this special time together!

-You love going outside, even in this awful heat! You love playing in water, swimming, and riding your new tricycle! You often "ask" for the back door to be open so you can look outside. Sometimes you want to go out, but it's just too hot and you get upset. We try to go outside at least once to play, though.

-You celebrated another Father's Day with Daddy, my 32nd birthday, and Independence Day!

-You love dancing to any music, and you often look at me right away for a response or a reaction of some kind. I usually start bouncing right along with you, which puts a huge smile on your face! You just love music!!

-You are still wearing size 4 diapers, and we put you in size 5 Overnights at night. You mostly wear 12 month clothing, but some outfits are 18 months.

-You had your first busted lip this month. You had a sippy cup in your mouth as you were walking to Aunt Kira's room. Theo jumped over you but missed a bit, and you were on the ground and crying within seconds. The straw from the cup cut your bottom lip, bruised the area above your top lip, and caused a small bloody nose, too. It was scary for both of us, but you healed within a couple days. You also had quite a reaction to something that bit your foot. Your foot swelled up, turned red, and got hot. You didn't seem to mind it at all, which is the only reason I was calmer about it than I normally would have been, and the only reason we never took you to the doctor (we called, but never took you in).

-You're starting to run. Yes, run. Ohhhh, Crap.

Big changes, huh?! Well, I think so! You have Daddy and me wrapped around your finger, running in circles, chasing after you, constantly amazed, and at your mercy! We just love you, Sweet Boy! 12 months has gone, and now you are my big 13 month old! I hope you had a great first birthday month. I hope you know how loved you are! I hope you keep learning and growing and developing, but I hope time will slow down just a bit. I know you aren't slowing down any time soon - just be careful, Love. You mean more to me than you could ever know, and all this going, moving, climbing, running is awesome yet terrifying at the same time. This past month brought lots of new skills and new insight. I can't wait to see what this month will bring! I love you, my Angel. Happy 13 Months!!

Love,
Mommy

Happy Birthday, America!

July 4th is Sam's favorite holiday, and it's quickly becoming one of mine, too. Sam loves it because he's so patriotic and loves any chance to celebrate this great country of ours. I like it for that reason, of course, but I LOVE how Americans around the country come together in their communities to watch fireworks. I love the food, the vibrant colors of our flag being presented everywhere, and just hanging out with friends and family in the evening heat. (I could do without the heat throughout the day, but it does feel nice as the sun sets and you're bathed in this glorious warmth.) I love watching the fireworks and recognizing just how lucky we are to have the freedoms we do. So, as this holiday approached, I felt myself really getting into the spirit and looking forward to having fun things to do with Banner this year. (Last year he wasn't even a month old, but I do remember it being an eventful day: he met his Aunt Robin, met his Uncle Sage, and had his first real bath.) This year is the first year he could actually enjoy the food, the company, and the activities, yet I can't wait for him to be able to stay up and watch fireworks in the future.

So, here's a bit of our Fourth celebration...

The morning of Tuesday, the 3rd, I made Banner a "Fourth of July" breakfast since we knew he wouldn't be waking up with us the next morning (he'd be at my mom's). He loved his waffle, and even said "wawa" over and over again when I said "waffle." He loved the "naNAnas," blueberries, and strawberries I put on, too.

 Later that evening, we took Banner to my mom's house to have a sleepover with Grandma and Papa. This would be his second 3rd of July evening with them; I'm hoping this can become a tradition of theirs maybe! Banner hasn't spent the night out away from us since November, so I was reluctant to leave, but once we did, Sam and I had a blast! We met up with Cherie, Jed, Logan, Alan, Gretchen, and Avi to go see fireworks. After picking up some Grandy's for dinner and finding a good place among the crowded knolls, we hung out eating, chatting, and goofing off until the fireworks started. It was a great night!

My 4th of July drinking glasses I made! :)

Firework Straws!

The gang (that's Sam at the bottom with the beer, of course!)

My date!

I asked them to "watch the fireworks" and this is what I got!

Logan got really into it

Happy Kaboom!!

July 4th morning, Sam and I slept in!! Now THAT was a Happy Independence Day! Then, we stopped by my father-in-law's house to wish him a happy holiday before heading to my mom's to see Banner. After hanging out there for a bit and after Banner's second nap, we went to my aunt & uncle's house for their 4th of July party at their new, amazingly beautiful home they just finished building and moving into! Gorgeous house, I tell you! Anyway, lots of food, fun, and family. Here are some pictures of the party and the "Flag Cake" I made (thanks to Pinterest and this website!).

Grandma & Banner

Our Star-Spangled Banner!

Marin & her Mama

Brock & Brycen

Walking around Aunt Jacque's house

I just love my sister!

Kiki and Landry

Balloons!

The yummy grub!

Marin & Kiki

My cake!

Inside my special cake project

Crumbled a little, but here's the first slice!

My boys

More sweets

Tasting Mommy's Flag Cake

Brycen & Zach

Loving Aunt Jacque's backyard!

First corn-on-the-cob!

My family

FLASHBACK! Here's my sweet newborn last July 4th and then a picture from THIS year! Oh how things have changed!

Happy Birthday, America!!

A Skillet in the Bathroom

Yes, there's a skillet in my bathroom. More specifically, it's on my bathroom counter next to my sink. Why? Well, because I have a 12 month old. I'm used to seeing toys strewn about the house in any given room, but Banner's most favorite toys these days are random items not specifically designed for child's play. So, this post is dedicated to the random items we have distributed all over the house. Instead of getting annoyed and frustrated at having to constantly reorganize and tidy up, I'm going to just embrace the ridiculousness of it all. My home, in all its random glory, looks like we have no idea how to keep a clean house. It might even look like we house a person with some kind of Alzheimer's or dementia, but really, it's because we have a 12-month-old toddler who has taken over the house.

So, yes, there's a skillet on my bathroom sink. There's a racquetball racquet on the floor next to the shower. There's a spatula in the pack-n-play which is also in our bathroom. There's an Elmo teething ring next to the washing machine. In Sam's temporary office, you will find a basket of foam bath letters and numbers. I'm not sure why those are in there, but even inside that basket is a box of crib rail cover (which we bought too much of when Banner started teething). There's a mixing bowl in the center of my living room. There's a sterling silver bell just chillin' on the kitchen floor. You will also find the famous blue hospital aspirator standing up with Banner's toothbrush in the toothbrush holder. Not sure why that's there, but it's not as perplexing as why the NoseFrida (snot sucker) is barely peeking out from under the couch. Oh, and Lord only knows why there's a Pink Floyd VHS case next to Banner's rocking horse - yes, VHS! As I look around my kitchen, I'm annoyed that our Hanukkah menorah is sitting just outside our bay window, but that's my fault for listening to Sam who told me to put it in freezer after Hanukkah so we could clean it easier but then never did, and I only just took it out when we needed more freezer space - 7 months later! That's kind of embarrassing, but then again, my bra is draped over the armrest of the living room couch. Banner must have taken it from my laundry stack when I was putting away clothes.

He's a fast little booger. And, it's not like I'm not watching him. In fact, sometimes that's why these random items appear in the middle of nowhere, far from their original homes; we have to place things up high so he won't reach them, or we have to distract him while he's demanding a dangerous item. Hence the silver bell... I gave him the box with the bell in it to distract him from trying to get into the Diaper Genie (yes, he loves the trash lately, and it's gross). Moments later, I was giving him the bell that a coworker of mine gave to me as a joke the year Sam and I got married. Three years ago, I never dreamed that this little joke would end up chiming throughout my house in the hands of my toddler. But, alas, Banner loves that damn bell, and now it is decorating my kitchen floor.

Like I was saying, we have to use other items to distract him from the dangerous ones - so you will find the remote control or a phone or a laptop charger stealthily hidden and later wonder where the hell it is. Or, you might see a camera cord or suntan lotion sitting on the kitchen counter because Sam or I had to take it from Banner and place it where he couldn't reach it. While Sam and I understand this new phase in our lives when a hairbrush is in the bathtub or there's a clothes hanger on the kitchen table, it's kind of hard to explain to any guests who drop in - like our neighbors across the street who wanted to ask us a question about when we renovated our TV room. They came in unannounced, and it just made me cringe with embarrassment. We really aren't pigs! We know how to keep a home clean, but it was clean 5 minutes before that - I promise! They just missed it!

I'm really trying to put things away, and I'm trying to stay on top of the mess, but when you have this little creature constantly insisting that I redecorate the house with his/our clutter, it's a bit of a struggle. I'm not giving up on my projects, and I WILL get this house in order. But, I'm not sure I'll ever really get a handle on the random items all over the house. I have a 12-month-old who is only going to get more curious, more experimental, more rambunctious, more "into everything!" So, I'm instead of getting aggravated, I'm growing a sense of humor, and we're learning to be okay with a bubble machine on the kitchen counter, a bib under some shoes in my closet, a balloon on the dining room table, a Lego in our bed, a shoebox torn apart in the middle of our bedroom, and of course, the skillet in the bathroom.

Parenting with My Partner

Sam and I have been best friends for close to 16 years. We've been through a heck of a whole lot together during that time. When you get married after knowing each other for so long - and after dating for that long - you think you'll know how to handle anything that comes your way. Well, that's true for most things, but there are several things that have happened in the past couple years that we've just had to bank on our relationship and the love we have for each other to get through - like Sam's accident or grieving the sudden loss of Sam's mom. Parenting is yet another area that we have had to put our faith in each other and our love in order to make it through each day (and oh so many nights!). You really don't know what kind of parent you're going to be until you are one. (Man, I couldn't even begin to count how many times I've said, "I'll never do that with my kid" and HAVE! I swear I was a better mother before I had a baby!) So, how can you know what kind of parent your partner will be or how well you will parent together?

After almost 13 months of parenting with Sam, I thought I'd write a review of how we are doing as parenting partners. There have been some awful moments in the past year when it came to being a team - times when we lost sight of our goal and got too wrapped up in being right or in our frustrations. Most of the time, those moments were due to lack of sleep. (What was that rule again? You can't be held responsible for things said or done in the middle of the night?) But, other than the handful of moments that made me furious, made me cry, or had me running to MY mommy, parenting with Sam has been awesome.

It's such a gift to be able to parent with your best friend. My absolute favorite is the look we often give each other across the room (or table) while we are watching Banner. Whenever he makes a new discovery or does something cute or funny, whenever he says a new word or attempts a new food, Sam and I will glance at each other as if to say, "Are you seeing this?! Isn't our boy so amazing!?!" I don't know what he would say about my eyes, but when I see Sam gazing back at me, I can feel the love just oozing out. I can hear his eyes telling me, "Oh my God, I love this kid! We made this kid! I love you so much!"  In these brief, deep looks, nothing else matters - and nothing else exists. Not even Banner, which I know sounds weird, but that look just brings me back to "us" and to loving one another. Of course the look is about Banner - and the never-ending love we have for him - but it's as if time just stops and this living, breathing child in front of us is a tangible reminder of our friendship, our love, and our devotion to each other.

We have learned so much this past year. In the middle of an "off" or "awful" night (respectively, the ones where Banner cries in the middle of the night, or the ones where he won't go back to sleep at all) when we've done everything we know to do, we've learned to just hold hands and hope Banner can soothe himself. When one of us is edgy or frustrated, the other adjusts accordingly to be the more patient parent. When we need a break or to walk away because Little Angel isn't being one at the moment, we've learned to take over for each other and be okay with needing space and time. We've learned it's so important to respect how we each relax - he doesn't make fun of my blogging, pinning, crafting, or cooking, and I don't give him grief for taking his only day a week to sleep in to go fishing with his dad. We've also learned that a good movie on a Saturday night or cuddling on the couch any day of the week is still fun - and really good for us.

We've kept this baby of ours alive for over a year, and we managed to do it without killing each other! I know we still have a lot to learn as Baby Boy starts to stand his own ground and challenges us more and more. I know we're only at the beginning of this journey, but I'm proud of us so far. I am definitely not ready for a second time around yet, but when/if we are blessed to do this song and dance again, I think we might just be okay. Every day is a chance to improve and perfect this team we're on together. We just have to remember we are a team - and we're on the same one. There are times I would have given us a "C" many, many months ago, but we have bounced back really well, so after a challenging year of learning to communicate, to listen, to trust, and to compromise, I give Year One a solid "A."