Interesting Article

http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2009-08-11-change-name_N.htm

My cousin forwarded this link to Sam, and he sent it to me. I thought it was worth publishing on this blog given the nature of the topic. I have some of my own thoughts about it, maybe you do too! I love what is says about gender-neutral language being more "PC" than reflective of changes in attitudes (what I'm "supposed" to say, and what I really feel are two different things). She's saying that, as a society, we really haven't shifted our feelings/thoughts to gender-neutrality, we just say what we think people want to hear so it looks like we are gender-neutral. Oh, and, don't even get me started on the government mandate to make women change their names when they marry! Really?! I'm so shocked (although I really shouldn't be) at this idea - I can just hear those politicians ranting and raving - "Let's put women in their place! Let's make them change their names to their husband's name!" And, another thought... most women, according to the stats in the article, are on board with this idea. That's what's so baffling to me. Women, in my opinion, are the biggest obstacle to this kind of thinking, because they think this way, too! Some women can be just as misogynistic as men, only aiding to keeping women in an unequal place.

I'm fine with whatever you believe, really. I just want you to consider the alternative, consider the other option, and consider that everyone has the right to choose. No judgment, no disappointment in others - just acceptance for the right for everyone to choose - no different than which color shoes you're going to wear today. I may not think you chose the "right" color or the most flattering, but I don't think you're a horrible person or a rude person because of it. And, likewise, you may think that my shoes are ugly - but I doubt you're going to think I'm a witch because of my choice. That's all I'm asking - nonjudgment and acceptance of any choice made. My friends and family might say to me, "I can't believe you're not changing your name," or "I don't agree with your choice, but I still love you." It's really not their decision, and as long as there's no judgment, they can say whatever they'd like to... because my response in my head is NOT "I can't believe you changed your name," or "I don't agree with your choice to change your name, but I still love you," because, quite honestly, I'm not thinking ANYTHING about their choice. Again, it's like choosing a purse or an ice cream flavor - it might not be what I would have chosen, but I don't care what you do, as long as you are doing what makes you happy!

Okay, I promise (or, I'll try to promise) to stop blogging about this topic now. I just had to post this website and discuss my opinions on it.... mostly, because it's been so interesting to me to hear people's responses to my non-name-change as if it were a problematic decision. I never really thought it would cause so much controversial discussions and reactions, quite honestly. I'm both glad it's been brought up for awareness as a "political" issue and shocked/disappointed at the reactions of others' shock. I thought we had come farther as a society. I guess I was wrong. I was pleased to see that 29% of the people surveyed (according to the article linked above) say "it's better for women to keep their own names." It's nice that we're getting close to 30% of people, but I do want to comment on the word "better." I, personally, don't think it's "better" either way. It's just a personal choice. It's "okay" or "acceptable" ... maybe those would be more appropriate word choices, but not "better." (Yes, I taught language arts, and I'm a stickler for proper diction!) I don't think I'm making a "better" choice, I'm just making a choice that's right for ME. End of story! :)