There are several times during a person's life that he/she will receive others' opinions whether wanted or not. Some of those times include: deciding where to go to college, determining a career path, having a baby, raising a child, and of course, getting married. I'm sure there are more, but I've yet to experience those in any kind of capacity, vicariously or not, so I'm just mentioning the ones I know of. I've heard the horrors of strangers rubbing a pregnant belly and telling a soon-to-be parent the best names, the best ways to raise the baby, and the best solutions to any given problem. I'm sure I'll just accept all of that when it comes, just the way I have to accept all the unsolicited advice and opinions of others when it comes to planning a wedding or starting a marriage.
I've heard my share of opinions in the past year. And, with every opinion comes a counter-opinion! Cut that person off your list, how can you cut her?; go on your honeymoon right away, it's better to wait to celebrate; you don't need chair covers, you do need chair covers, you should have chairs brought in; don't do a groom's cake, do a groom's cake; wear your hair up, wear your hair down; preserve your bouquet, don't preserve your bouquet, it's a waste of money; don't do a father/daughter dance; dance with your dad, dance with your stepdad; order napkins, don't order napkins; wear a blusher, don't wear a blusher; take his name, don't take his name; do buffet, have plated meals; have a joint account, keep separate accounts; get a pre-nup, don't get a pre-nup. The list could go on and on. So many times, though, these are not asked for! Sam and I are good about asking for help or advice when wanted; it's just been so interesting getting so many opinions without a request for input. (No, Mom, I'm not saying to stop giving your opinion. If I'm trying to make a decision and need input, please share! That goes for you too, bridesmaids! I'm also not saying I don't enjoy conversation about various named topics; I'm merely discussing the UNSOLICITED, random advice.)
I went to the eye doctor last week, and she asked what my new name was going to be. When I told her I was keeping my birth name, she gave her opinion (a positive one - not that it matters), and then she went on to say, "I bet you get a lot of unsolicited opinions about that decision!" She was so right on. In fact, the next day, I went to another doctor. He asked the same question the eye doctor had, and he was also sure that I got lots of feedback from others and unwarranted discussion. He had actually tried to get his daughter to do the same, but the new husband wouldn't have it. So, he was open to the idea, but it obviously was an opinion that his new son-in-law didn't care for much!
I guess the whole point is that if you have an opinion, wait until you're asked for it! And, if other people's opinions matter to you, you're screwed, because you're just going to get contradicting responses. Do what you want! In one week last spring, for example, I got four different opinions about how to wear my hair for my wedding day (one said she loved my ponytail and I should wear it back like that for the wedding; one said she loved it straight and down; another person said she loved it curly; another said my hair was getting too long and she liked it better short). There's just no pleasing everyone. So, the best thing to do is please yourself (and your partner) without worrying too much about others. Chances are, you'll make the best decision on your own, and others will realize you were right to go with your gut. And, there you have my unsolicited opinion about unsolicited opinions! (But this is my blog, and I can write about anything I want!) ;) Oh, and if you want to comment, I won't think it's unsolicited. So go ahead, CRUSNY, and let me hear what you have to say!
I've heard my share of opinions in the past year. And, with every opinion comes a counter-opinion! Cut that person off your list, how can you cut her?; go on your honeymoon right away, it's better to wait to celebrate; you don't need chair covers, you do need chair covers, you should have chairs brought in; don't do a groom's cake, do a groom's cake; wear your hair up, wear your hair down; preserve your bouquet, don't preserve your bouquet, it's a waste of money; don't do a father/daughter dance; dance with your dad, dance with your stepdad; order napkins, don't order napkins; wear a blusher, don't wear a blusher; take his name, don't take his name; do buffet, have plated meals; have a joint account, keep separate accounts; get a pre-nup, don't get a pre-nup. The list could go on and on. So many times, though, these are not asked for! Sam and I are good about asking for help or advice when wanted; it's just been so interesting getting so many opinions without a request for input. (No, Mom, I'm not saying to stop giving your opinion. If I'm trying to make a decision and need input, please share! That goes for you too, bridesmaids! I'm also not saying I don't enjoy conversation about various named topics; I'm merely discussing the UNSOLICITED, random advice.)
I went to the eye doctor last week, and she asked what my new name was going to be. When I told her I was keeping my birth name, she gave her opinion (a positive one - not that it matters), and then she went on to say, "I bet you get a lot of unsolicited opinions about that decision!" She was so right on. In fact, the next day, I went to another doctor. He asked the same question the eye doctor had, and he was also sure that I got lots of feedback from others and unwarranted discussion. He had actually tried to get his daughter to do the same, but the new husband wouldn't have it. So, he was open to the idea, but it obviously was an opinion that his new son-in-law didn't care for much!
I guess the whole point is that if you have an opinion, wait until you're asked for it! And, if other people's opinions matter to you, you're screwed, because you're just going to get contradicting responses. Do what you want! In one week last spring, for example, I got four different opinions about how to wear my hair for my wedding day (one said she loved my ponytail and I should wear it back like that for the wedding; one said she loved it straight and down; another person said she loved it curly; another said my hair was getting too long and she liked it better short). There's just no pleasing everyone. So, the best thing to do is please yourself (and your partner) without worrying too much about others. Chances are, you'll make the best decision on your own, and others will realize you were right to go with your gut. And, there you have my unsolicited opinion about unsolicited opinions! (But this is my blog, and I can write about anything I want!) ;) Oh, and if you want to comment, I won't think it's unsolicited. So go ahead, CRUSNY, and let me hear what you have to say!
I do have to totally agree there!
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