5 Bulletin Boards You Can Keep Up All Year Long!
1 month ago
Saturday, November 24, 2012
So Much to be Thankful For
Thanksgiving 2012. Amazing food. Great company. One big mixed family. Beautiful people -inside and out. Unimaginable love.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
What Does RA Feel Like?
Since being diagnosed with RA (Rheumatoid Arthritis), I have been asked by a few friends what it feels like to have this autoimmune disease. I've done a lot of research, read up on numerous RA blogs, and talked with friends with the same diagnosis. I know that everyone's experience with it is different, but some of the collective symptoms help me understand what I'm dealing with, when my complaints are related to RA or not, and how to describe such symptoms to my friends and family. I've also learned that RA is different from other forms of arthritis; it can strike at any age (young or old), last a short time and never come back OR last forever and never let up, has nothing to do with how fit or how fat you are, and is not anyone's "fault." It's different from osteoarthritis which is a degenerative "wear-and-tear" condition associated with aging. Osteoarthritis is the most common form of arthritis, and it's what most people think I have when I say I have arthritis - which makes them puzzled because they will say, "I thought only old people get that!"
As an aside: I don't blame them for thinking this. My grandmother had arthritis, and so in my head, I also thought arthritis was usually only something old people had unless it was some form of juvenile arthritis. Until I met my former coworker who suffered from RA, I had no clue that younger people could get such a diagnosis. So, I get it...
The cause of RA is unknown. It is an autoimmune disease in which the body starts to attack itself. It is a life-long (chronic) disease that is characterized by persistent joint inflammation which can cause irreversible joint damage over a prolonged period of time.
But, what does all of this FEEL like? Well, most RA patients (including myself) often feel feverish (and usually have a low grade fever most of the time); we feel tired and fatigued like you would when you have the flu; our joints (one, few, or many) are stiff, swollen, and/or painful. For me, that pain feels like a fire - specifically in my wrists and jaw. Those areas feel hot, sharp, and well... like they're on fire. Sometimes the pain is throbbing. The pain in my toes, elbows, and wrists usually feel like a sprain or a break. I will often tell Sam that I feel like one or more of my toes feels broken, but I know they're not because I had no injury. My jaw is tight, so my mouth won't open all the way - making it hard to eat, yawn, or feel relaxed in general (as the pain is literally right there in my face). My knees are weak, tight, and often shoot pains down my shins. Sometimes the tightness in my elbows and knees feel like someone has shoved wads of cotton into the joints so that I cannot fully extend or flex all the way in either direction. (I cannot reach my shoulders to sing "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes" with Banner. My elbows are too tight and prohibit a full bend.) My neck can get very stiff - making it hard to turn it in both directions more than a certain degree. Again, this reminds me of a flu-like ache where it hurts your head to move at all! Joints can also feel "slippery" like they're going to give out (mostly my knees), and they pop and crack a lot (mostly wrists). Like most RA patients also explain, my hurting joints are very tender to the touch. Some feel bruised (usually elbows) even when against a soft surface like my mattress to turn in bed. Some joints when touched give me the "heebie jeebies" - again kind of like the flu when you don't want to be touched.
Emotionally, RA hurts too. I'm being really honest and just putting it all out there, but there have been days I just want to cry because I want out of the pain and tightness. I'll even bargain for an hour "off" so I can have full range of motion and feel pain-free for even just a little bit. I'd love to get on and off the floor, bathe Banner, play with him freely and not cringe the whole time. This morning, he moved my hand, and it took everything in my power not to keel over, cry, or scream from the pain I felt from a simple move. Yesterday, we went to the library for story time, and once again I was confronted with the dilemma of how to get on the floor gracefully in front of all the grandmothers who sat in the chairs behind me. Ironically, I bet most of them are much more able to maneuver their bodies to the floor (and off from it) much better than I am; I end up basically falling on my ass since my wrists and knees are no help to lower me gently and gracefully. (Just try it - try to get on and off the floor without using your wrists or knees - or the aid of the couch or chair you could slide off of. I'm working on this and trying to find a way to accommodate my body. Let me know if you find something that works!)
I have read blogs by women my age and much younger who are dealing with RA, and they have helped me describe this pain and know that what I'm feeling is, in fact, RA. They are fit, active, and otherwise healthy. They are moms or hoping to be moms one day, and they are facing the same difficulty of raising a child or children while they hurt inside. My heart goes out to them, as many of them have been dealing with this disease for much longer than I have, and their pleas and prayers are simply to get on the floor and play with their children, to run and jump and crawl and dance with their babies, to live a life free of pain and suffering. And, I hope they can one day - and that I can too!
As an aside: I don't blame them for thinking this. My grandmother had arthritis, and so in my head, I also thought arthritis was usually only something old people had unless it was some form of juvenile arthritis. Until I met my former coworker who suffered from RA, I had no clue that younger people could get such a diagnosis. So, I get it...
The cause of RA is unknown. It is an autoimmune disease in which the body starts to attack itself. It is a life-long (chronic) disease that is characterized by persistent joint inflammation which can cause irreversible joint damage over a prolonged period of time.
But, what does all of this FEEL like? Well, most RA patients (including myself) often feel feverish (and usually have a low grade fever most of the time); we feel tired and fatigued like you would when you have the flu; our joints (one, few, or many) are stiff, swollen, and/or painful. For me, that pain feels like a fire - specifically in my wrists and jaw. Those areas feel hot, sharp, and well... like they're on fire. Sometimes the pain is throbbing. The pain in my toes, elbows, and wrists usually feel like a sprain or a break. I will often tell Sam that I feel like one or more of my toes feels broken, but I know they're not because I had no injury. My jaw is tight, so my mouth won't open all the way - making it hard to eat, yawn, or feel relaxed in general (as the pain is literally right there in my face). My knees are weak, tight, and often shoot pains down my shins. Sometimes the tightness in my elbows and knees feel like someone has shoved wads of cotton into the joints so that I cannot fully extend or flex all the way in either direction. (I cannot reach my shoulders to sing "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes" with Banner. My elbows are too tight and prohibit a full bend.) My neck can get very stiff - making it hard to turn it in both directions more than a certain degree. Again, this reminds me of a flu-like ache where it hurts your head to move at all! Joints can also feel "slippery" like they're going to give out (mostly my knees), and they pop and crack a lot (mostly wrists). Like most RA patients also explain, my hurting joints are very tender to the touch. Some feel bruised (usually elbows) even when against a soft surface like my mattress to turn in bed. Some joints when touched give me the "heebie jeebies" - again kind of like the flu when you don't want to be touched.
Emotionally, RA hurts too. I'm being really honest and just putting it all out there, but there have been days I just want to cry because I want out of the pain and tightness. I'll even bargain for an hour "off" so I can have full range of motion and feel pain-free for even just a little bit. I'd love to get on and off the floor, bathe Banner, play with him freely and not cringe the whole time. This morning, he moved my hand, and it took everything in my power not to keel over, cry, or scream from the pain I felt from a simple move. Yesterday, we went to the library for story time, and once again I was confronted with the dilemma of how to get on the floor gracefully in front of all the grandmothers who sat in the chairs behind me. Ironically, I bet most of them are much more able to maneuver their bodies to the floor (and off from it) much better than I am; I end up basically falling on my ass since my wrists and knees are no help to lower me gently and gracefully. (Just try it - try to get on and off the floor without using your wrists or knees - or the aid of the couch or chair you could slide off of. I'm working on this and trying to find a way to accommodate my body. Let me know if you find something that works!)
I have read blogs by women my age and much younger who are dealing with RA, and they have helped me describe this pain and know that what I'm feeling is, in fact, RA. They are fit, active, and otherwise healthy. They are moms or hoping to be moms one day, and they are facing the same difficulty of raising a child or children while they hurt inside. My heart goes out to them, as many of them have been dealing with this disease for much longer than I have, and their pleas and prayers are simply to get on the floor and play with their children, to run and jump and crawl and dance with their babies, to live a life free of pain and suffering. And, I hope they can one day - and that I can too!
Monday, November 12, 2012
2 More Weeks of Meals
For the first "Two Weeks of Meals," click here! :)
My best friend, Cherie, calls me Betty Crocker. I'm SO far from that, but I do enjoy baking and cooking when the urge strikes. It's MUCH harder these days with a toddler who wants to "see, see, see" everything I'm doing, tugs on me when my hands are full, and destroys my kitchen while my back is turned for a split second. But, I am determined to keep feeding my family awesome meals. I like trying new stuff, too. Here are some great meal ideas (and some recipes) for what we've been eating.
**= See below for recipe! :)
Sunday: Angel Hair Pasta, Meatballs, and Stir-Fry Veggies
Monday: Cheddar Jack & Bacon Chicken**, Crockpot Carrots, and Noodle Kuegle (Wish I could give you this recipe because it's AMAZING, but it's top secret!)
Tuesday: Beef Tacos, Broccoli, Rice, and Sweet Apple Turnovers**
Wednesday: Country Chicken Supper**
Thursday: Baked Potato Soup and Oven-baked Veggies
Friday: LEFT OVERS!
Saturday: Chicken & Broccoli Mornay** & Hash Brown Casserole
Sunday: Tortellini Soup
Monday: Southwestern Meatloaf** and Salad
Tuesday: Crunchy Chicken, Green Beans**
Wednesday: LEFT OVERS!
Thursday: Flank Steak, Twice Baked Potatoes,** and steamed veggies
Friday: Manicotti**
Saturday: Italian chicken & Easy Zucchini Parmesan**
RECIPES:
Cheddar Jack & Bacon Chicken - Well, this was REALLY EASY and AMAZING! Kraft has these new "Fresh Take" mixes of Cheese and Breadcrumb mixes. I know I could probably do this myself, but I bought their mix to try, and it's phenomenal. This was a big hit in my house! Just mix chicken breasts in these pre-made bags of ingredients!
Sweet Apple Turnovers (courtesy of Easy Everyday Cooking)-
1 refrigerated pie crust
2 tart apples (I used Granny Smith), peeled, finely chopped
1/3 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 egg, beaten
4 teaspoons butter or margarine
2 Tbsp milk (divided)
2 Tbsp sugar
1. Roll pie crust into 10-inch square on a lightly floured surface. Cut into sixteen 2 1/2-inch squares. Combine apples, brown sugar, cinnamon, and egg in large bowl; toss to mix.
2. Preheat oven to 425. Place pastry squares on an ungreased baking sheet. Spoon 1 Tbsp apple mixture onto each square. Dot each square with 1/4 teaspoon butter.
3. Fold each pastry over filling to form a triangle. Brush pastry edges with some milk and press to seal.
4. Brush pastry tops with remaining milk and sprinkle with sugar. Bake until golden brown - about 10 minutes.
Chicken Country Supper -
3 skinless, boneless chicken breasts
2 Tbsp vegetable oil
1/2 cup chopped onion (although, I use only a pinch of minced onion because I'm allergic to fresh onion)
1 (14 oz) can French-style green beans
1 (14 oz) can chopped tomatoes
1 (14 oz) can sliced carrots
1 large potato cut into 3/4-inch cubes OR 1 (14 oz) canned potatoes
1 cup uncooked rice
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1 cup water
1/2 cup finely shredded Cheddar
1. Cut chicken into bite-sized pieces. Heat oil in large skillet over medium heat; add chicken and onion. Saute for about 3 minutes.
2. Add green beans, undrained tomatoes, carrots, potato, rice, salt, and pepper to skillet. Mix gently.
3. Pour water over top of chicken mixture. Cook, covered, over medium-low heat - stirring occasionally for 20 minutes or until potatoes and rice are tender. (*If you use instant rice and canned potatoes, this time will be much shorter - around 5 minutes.)
4. Sprinkle chicken mixture with Cheddar. Let stand, covered, for 5 minutes.
Chicken and Broccoli Mornay -
2 Tbsp vegetable oil
3 1/2 cups cubed chicken
1 cup cold water
1 tbsp chicken broth (or dry sherry)
1 (10-oz) package frozen chopped broccoli (thawed)
1 (10-oz) can cream of chicken soup
1 1/2 cups instant rice
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
2 Tbsp butter or margarine
2 Tbsp flour
1 1/2 cups half-and-half
1/4 cup shredded Swiss
1/4 cup chicken broth
1. Heat oil in a large skillet. Cook, stirring occasionally, until browned and cooked through, about 15 minutes. Add water, 1 Tbsp chicken broth/dry sherry, broccoli and soup. Bring to a boil.
2. Add rice to skillet; stir. Remove from heat. Let stand for 5 minutes. Sprinkle 2 Tbsp Parmesan.
3. Melt butter in a large saucepan over low heat. Stir in flour. Gradually add half-and-half, stirring continually until smooth. Boil for 1 minute. Add Swiss cheese. Remove from heat.
4. Beat sauce with whisk for 5 minutes! Beat in broth. Spoon chicken mixture into a serving dish. Pour sauce over chicken. Top with remaining Parmesan.
Southwestern Meatloaf (courtesy of Central Market - although I have made some changes to make it "healthier" - I've shown you both so you can choose what you want to do):
2 lbs Hamburger meat (we used turkey)
2 cups canned tortilla soup (Progressive makes a good one)
1 can black beans - drain and rinse
3 large eggs (we used egg whites)
2 cups crushed tortilla chips
1 cup Monterey Jack or Cheddar cheese
Preheat oven to 375; mix all ingredients (EXCEPT 1 cup of soup and the cheese). Make 6-8 mini meatloaves. Bake for 30 minutes. Pull out of oven and top with remaining cup of soup and cheese. Return to oven for 10 additional minutes.
Green Beans -
1 lb green beans (I use steam-able bag)
2 tsp nutmeg
2 tsp margarine
pepper
seasoning salt
Clean fresh green beans, snip ends. Boil 2 minutes and drain. Place cold water over them to stop the cooking process. Drain water. **I use steam-able bag to speed process, so I skip the previous directions and go right to this step: melt margarine in skillet. Place green beans in skillet and heat through for about 2 minutes. Sprinkle nutmeg, add pepper, and seasoning salt. (You can also add a dash of teriaki sauce or soy sauce - yum!)
Twice Baked Potatoes -
4 large baking potatoes
shortening, butter, or margarine
1/3 - 1/2 cup milk
1/4 cup soft butter or margarine
1/2 teaspoon salt
dash of pepper
4 Tbsp finely shredded Cheddar cheese
1. Heat oven to 375. Scrub potatoes and rub with butter, margarine, or shortening. Prick with fork. Bake until potatoes are tender (about 1 to 1 1/4 hours).
2. Increase oven temp to 400. Cut a thin slice from the top of each potato (or cut in half lengthwise) and scoop out all the inside leaving a thin shell.
3. Mash potatoes until no lumps remain.
4. Add butter, salt, and pepper. Beat until potatoes are slightly fluffy.
5. Fill shells with mashed potatoes and sprinkle each with 1 Tbsp shredded cheddar.
6. Bake 20 minutes or until golden.
Manicotti -
12 manicotti shells
4 cups shredded mozzarella cheese, divided
8 oz soft cream cheese with onion and chives
3 cups spaghetti sauce
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1. Cook manicotti in a large pot of boiling water according to package directions. Drain and rinse with cold water; drain again.
2. Preheat oven to 350. Spray baking dish with cooking spray. Mix 3 cups mozzarella with soft cream cheese. Stuff manicotti; place in prepared dish.
3. Spoon spaghetti sauce over shells.
4. Sprinkle manicotti with remaining mozzarella. Bake for 15 minutes. Sprinkle Parmesan. Bake for 10 minutes longer.
Easy Zucchini Parmesan -
1 cup sliced zucchini
1 Tbsp grated Parmesan cheese
10 sprays of Butter spray (I used Pam)
Line a cookie sheet with foil, then coat with non-stick spray. Place zucchini slices on pan, spritz with butter spray. Sprinkle Parmesan cheese and then place in oven. Broil for a few minutes until cheese starts to brown.
My best friend, Cherie, calls me Betty Crocker. I'm SO far from that, but I do enjoy baking and cooking when the urge strikes. It's MUCH harder these days with a toddler who wants to "see, see, see" everything I'm doing, tugs on me when my hands are full, and destroys my kitchen while my back is turned for a split second. But, I am determined to keep feeding my family awesome meals. I like trying new stuff, too. Here are some great meal ideas (and some recipes) for what we've been eating.
**= See below for recipe! :)
Sunday: Angel Hair Pasta, Meatballs, and Stir-Fry Veggies
Monday: Cheddar Jack & Bacon Chicken**, Crockpot Carrots, and Noodle Kuegle (Wish I could give you this recipe because it's AMAZING, but it's top secret!)
Tuesday: Beef Tacos, Broccoli, Rice, and Sweet Apple Turnovers**
Wednesday: Country Chicken Supper**
Thursday: Baked Potato Soup and Oven-baked Veggies
Friday: LEFT OVERS!
Saturday: Chicken & Broccoli Mornay** & Hash Brown Casserole
Sunday: Tortellini Soup
Monday: Southwestern Meatloaf** and Salad
Tuesday: Crunchy Chicken, Green Beans**
Wednesday: LEFT OVERS!
Thursday: Flank Steak, Twice Baked Potatoes,** and steamed veggies
Friday: Manicotti**
Saturday: Italian chicken & Easy Zucchini Parmesan**
RECIPES:
Cheddar Jack & Bacon Chicken - Well, this was REALLY EASY and AMAZING! Kraft has these new "Fresh Take" mixes of Cheese and Breadcrumb mixes. I know I could probably do this myself, but I bought their mix to try, and it's phenomenal. This was a big hit in my house! Just mix chicken breasts in these pre-made bags of ingredients!
Sweet Apple Turnovers (courtesy of Easy Everyday Cooking)-
1 refrigerated pie crust
2 tart apples (I used Granny Smith), peeled, finely chopped
1/3 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 egg, beaten
4 teaspoons butter or margarine
2 Tbsp milk (divided)
2 Tbsp sugar
1. Roll pie crust into 10-inch square on a lightly floured surface. Cut into sixteen 2 1/2-inch squares. Combine apples, brown sugar, cinnamon, and egg in large bowl; toss to mix.
2. Preheat oven to 425. Place pastry squares on an ungreased baking sheet. Spoon 1 Tbsp apple mixture onto each square. Dot each square with 1/4 teaspoon butter.
3. Fold each pastry over filling to form a triangle. Brush pastry edges with some milk and press to seal.
4. Brush pastry tops with remaining milk and sprinkle with sugar. Bake until golden brown - about 10 minutes.
Chicken Country Supper -
3 skinless, boneless chicken breasts
2 Tbsp vegetable oil
1/2 cup chopped onion (although, I use only a pinch of minced onion because I'm allergic to fresh onion)
1 (14 oz) can French-style green beans
1 (14 oz) can chopped tomatoes
1 (14 oz) can sliced carrots
1 large potato cut into 3/4-inch cubes OR 1 (14 oz) canned potatoes
1 cup uncooked rice
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1 cup water
1/2 cup finely shredded Cheddar
1. Cut chicken into bite-sized pieces. Heat oil in large skillet over medium heat; add chicken and onion. Saute for about 3 minutes.
2. Add green beans, undrained tomatoes, carrots, potato, rice, salt, and pepper to skillet. Mix gently.
3. Pour water over top of chicken mixture. Cook, covered, over medium-low heat - stirring occasionally for 20 minutes or until potatoes and rice are tender. (*If you use instant rice and canned potatoes, this time will be much shorter - around 5 minutes.)
4. Sprinkle chicken mixture with Cheddar. Let stand, covered, for 5 minutes.
Chicken and Broccoli Mornay -
2 Tbsp vegetable oil
3 1/2 cups cubed chicken
1 cup cold water
1 tbsp chicken broth (or dry sherry)
1 (10-oz) package frozen chopped broccoli (thawed)
1 (10-oz) can cream of chicken soup
1 1/2 cups instant rice
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
2 Tbsp butter or margarine
2 Tbsp flour
1 1/2 cups half-and-half
1/4 cup shredded Swiss
1/4 cup chicken broth
1. Heat oil in a large skillet. Cook, stirring occasionally, until browned and cooked through, about 15 minutes. Add water, 1 Tbsp chicken broth/dry sherry, broccoli and soup. Bring to a boil.
2. Add rice to skillet; stir. Remove from heat. Let stand for 5 minutes. Sprinkle 2 Tbsp Parmesan.
3. Melt butter in a large saucepan over low heat. Stir in flour. Gradually add half-and-half, stirring continually until smooth. Boil for 1 minute. Add Swiss cheese. Remove from heat.
4. Beat sauce with whisk for 5 minutes! Beat in broth. Spoon chicken mixture into a serving dish. Pour sauce over chicken. Top with remaining Parmesan.
Southwestern Meatloaf (courtesy of Central Market - although I have made some changes to make it "healthier" - I've shown you both so you can choose what you want to do):
2 lbs Hamburger meat (we used turkey)
2 cups canned tortilla soup (Progressive makes a good one)
1 can black beans - drain and rinse
3 large eggs (we used egg whites)
2 cups crushed tortilla chips
1 cup Monterey Jack or Cheddar cheese
Preheat oven to 375; mix all ingredients (EXCEPT 1 cup of soup and the cheese). Make 6-8 mini meatloaves. Bake for 30 minutes. Pull out of oven and top with remaining cup of soup and cheese. Return to oven for 10 additional minutes.
Green Beans -
1 lb green beans (I use steam-able bag)
2 tsp nutmeg
2 tsp margarine
pepper
seasoning salt
Clean fresh green beans, snip ends. Boil 2 minutes and drain. Place cold water over them to stop the cooking process. Drain water. **I use steam-able bag to speed process, so I skip the previous directions and go right to this step: melt margarine in skillet. Place green beans in skillet and heat through for about 2 minutes. Sprinkle nutmeg, add pepper, and seasoning salt. (You can also add a dash of teriaki sauce or soy sauce - yum!)
Twice Baked Potatoes -
4 large baking potatoes
shortening, butter, or margarine
1/3 - 1/2 cup milk
1/4 cup soft butter or margarine
1/2 teaspoon salt
dash of pepper
4 Tbsp finely shredded Cheddar cheese
1. Heat oven to 375. Scrub potatoes and rub with butter, margarine, or shortening. Prick with fork. Bake until potatoes are tender (about 1 to 1 1/4 hours).
2. Increase oven temp to 400. Cut a thin slice from the top of each potato (or cut in half lengthwise) and scoop out all the inside leaving a thin shell.
3. Mash potatoes until no lumps remain.
4. Add butter, salt, and pepper. Beat until potatoes are slightly fluffy.
5. Fill shells with mashed potatoes and sprinkle each with 1 Tbsp shredded cheddar.
6. Bake 20 minutes or until golden.
Manicotti -
12 manicotti shells
4 cups shredded mozzarella cheese, divided
8 oz soft cream cheese with onion and chives
3 cups spaghetti sauce
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1. Cook manicotti in a large pot of boiling water according to package directions. Drain and rinse with cold water; drain again.
2. Preheat oven to 350. Spray baking dish with cooking spray. Mix 3 cups mozzarella with soft cream cheese. Stuff manicotti; place in prepared dish.
3. Spoon spaghetti sauce over shells.
4. Sprinkle manicotti with remaining mozzarella. Bake for 15 minutes. Sprinkle Parmesan. Bake for 10 minutes longer.
Easy Zucchini Parmesan -
1 cup sliced zucchini
1 Tbsp grated Parmesan cheese
10 sprays of Butter spray (I used Pam)
Line a cookie sheet with foil, then coat with non-stick spray. Place zucchini slices on pan, spritz with butter spray. Sprinkle Parmesan cheese and then place in oven. Broil for a few minutes until cheese starts to brown.
Friday, November 9, 2012
17 Month Newsletter
Disclaimer: This post is long and very comprehensive. It's for Banner. It's also for my memory and reference. I love everything about this kid, so it's hard to only pick a few points to highlight, especially as growth and development begins to SOAR! I'm one proud mama, and I'm okay with boring my readers for the sake of capturing the details and changes of this past month in Banner's life. Skip it or read it. Either way - glad you stopped by to see what my little munchkin is up to!
Dear Banner,
Never before this month have I felt as strongly as I do now that you are so not a baby anymore! My goodness! You are quite the little boy (maybe even little man!) these days, and I am both SO enjoying you and SO mourning your babyhood. Time is flying, and when I look back at the past couple months, I see how far you have come and how independent you are and how grown up you seem. Even week to week, I notice big changes. You are such a little sponge right now - saying things we say, working so hard to pronounce words, surprising us by knowing things we never really "taught" you. It's amazing, truly amazing, to watch you become so knowledgeable, so self-sufficient, so confident. While these same characteristics can get you into trouble sometimes, and while they can irk me at certain times of our day, I am mesmerized by you. You WANT to know so many things, and I feel like I can't give you the information fast enough. You will watch my lips intently to mimic the sounds of words I'm making. You will ask to "see" everything we're doing in the kitchen. You explore items around the house; you pretend; you investigate and try really hard to communicate what you are thinking. You are so expressive and funny and have perfect comedic timing! You are cuddly (although you still won't stay cuddled with us long) and loving. And, everyday I love you more and more.
So, what else have you been up to this month?
Love,
Mommy
Dear Banner,
Never before this month have I felt as strongly as I do now that you are so not a baby anymore! My goodness! You are quite the little boy (maybe even little man!) these days, and I am both SO enjoying you and SO mourning your babyhood. Time is flying, and when I look back at the past couple months, I see how far you have come and how independent you are and how grown up you seem. Even week to week, I notice big changes. You are such a little sponge right now - saying things we say, working so hard to pronounce words, surprising us by knowing things we never really "taught" you. It's amazing, truly amazing, to watch you become so knowledgeable, so self-sufficient, so confident. While these same characteristics can get you into trouble sometimes, and while they can irk me at certain times of our day, I am mesmerized by you. You WANT to know so many things, and I feel like I can't give you the information fast enough. You will watch my lips intently to mimic the sounds of words I'm making. You will ask to "see" everything we're doing in the kitchen. You explore items around the house; you pretend; you investigate and try really hard to communicate what you are thinking. You are so expressive and funny and have perfect comedic timing! You are cuddly (although you still won't stay cuddled with us long) and loving. And, everyday I love you more and more.
So, what else have you been up to this month?
- You had your first trick-or-treat night on Halloween! You dressed up as a frog, and we celebrated for numerous nights!
- You were part of "Saving Second Base," our Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure team.
- You had your last gymnastics class with Ms. Becky. We decided to stop going for a little bit because the gym we went to was very far, and I'm not sure you were getting as much out of it at this young age as you could be later on. We will probably start up again at a closer gym in the coming months. You loved the gym, and you liked what you were learning, but I think you could get more from your experiences in a few months.
- You have two new teeth - your bottom molars. So, that brings your total teeth count to 11. You're still missing your right bottom lateral incisor (yes, I learned that term on BabyCenter, because I had to research why you aren't getting this tooth!). Daddy is actually missing one of his teeth; the dentist told him it looks like it never came in. There's no gap or anything, but he just never got that tooth, so I'm wondering if you will be the same way. I hope not - I think that's just plain weird. :) So, we wait!
- You have learned the cars that most of our family members drive. You see any pick-up truck and say "Zaide;" a gray Jeep and say "Kiki," a white Pilot and say, "Mama," or a grey or blue Pilot and say, "Mamaww" (for Grandma).
- You often have a French accent, putting emphasis on the last syllable: MaMA, DaDA.
- You've had a runny (or crusty) nose pretty much all month. The humidifier is not helping. I'm thinking it's either allergies with all this back-and-forth weather we're having, OR more likely it's the teething since you have been working on those bottom molars all month. You're perfectly fine with it, though!
- Speaking of ickiness, you had your first bout with a stomach bug this past month. Brycen got sick one day, the day after the Race for the Cure, and we had spent a lot of time with him. You got sick the following day, and most of the family did shortly after that. Luckily, Daddy and I stayed mostly well, and we just loved on you for that 24 hour bug. It was horrible watching you throw up and not knowing how to help you. You threw up on three separate occasions but only that first day. I called the nurse on call, and she was amazing; she told me not to give you any food or water for three hours (right before dinner time), so Daddy and I just put you to bed to hold you off - not knowing if you'd wake up hungry or thirsty. Thank goodness, you slept well all night (on large towels tucked in snuggly to your crib!), but I hated sending you "to bed without supper!" The next morning, we could only give you ice chips for an hour before moving on to water and then some itty-bitty bits of bread. We stayed in our PJs all day, and we snuggled a lot. You had your first popsicle that day, too!
- You've always liked to dance (usually a little leg bounce/squatting with a very rare arm movement up or down), but this month you added in a shoulder shimmy which.is.awesome!
- You're saying lots more this month. You say, "bye-bye" or "bye" like a pro. Usually, those words are followed by a "muah" as you blow a kiss. Sometimes you will do this even when you are just leaving a room or you are about to shut a door to a room.
- You hold a doll and say, "Ah, ah, Baby" as you twist with it back and forth.
- You call every letter or number you see "B." We are attempting to try to change that, but for now, I'm just glad you recognize letters and numbers as different from other shapes.
- You say, "No, no, no," and sometimes many more times than that to Theo (your doggie cousin), and when we went to the Arboretum petting zoo, you told the goat "No, no. No, no, no, no, no!" about three times when it stuck its head out of the fence to eat some grass outside the pen. It was probably the funniest, cutest things we've seen since you started to talk!
- You notice all the birds chirping, "tweet tweet."
- You repeat words after us very well: purple, yellow, blue, for example.
- You are saying two words together - if these count: "all done" and "oh, no!"
- Sometimes you go around saying, "Uuummm" - which began as a way of making fun of me when I was talking to Daddy at dinner and said that.
- You are very polite, often saying "hi" or "hello" and definitely "bye-bye" to most anyone - and I mean anyone - the neighbor passing us on a walk, the people in line to check-out at the grocery store, a lady at the next table in a restaurant...
- You have just learned another Sesame Street character: Ernie. You love to say his name when you see him, and you just light up. He and Elmo would be your best friends if only they could come over!
- You say "shh" as we pass Daddy's office in the hallway, and you've told Theo to "shh" before, too.
- When you and Daddy are calling each others' names, you say "Yo!" back to one another.
- You tell us when you have made a "poo-poo" although sometimes you're not dirty when you say that - so either you're saying it for "pee-pee" also, or you're about to "poo-poo."
- And, you also say, "see" when you want to see what we're doing, "up" when you want to be picked up, "gucky" or "yucky" for trash or anything you don't want/like, "pass" for your paci at night/nap, "meal" for your oatmeal breakfast, "owl" and "hoo-hoo," and "wee-ooo, wee-ooo" for a siren, car, plane, fire engine or other trucks. You can say "Gayle," and "Gock" (for Uncle Brock). You attempt to say your friends' names. You're perfect with "Ella," and "Emma." In fact, you often go around the house or through the grocery store yelling "Ella, Ella!"
- You have a new obsession with always wanting to see a "bus" when we are in the car. "Bus! Bus!" you'll shout. And, as your mommy who wants to please you - I'm constantly hoping we see one! The other day, we were on our drive home from Grandma's, and we saw a bus at the first intersection we hit. The rest of the drive home, you kept saying "Bus, bus, bus..." with perfect pronunciation. I was like a mad woman hoping to find another school bus since the last one had turned! You cried a little, pissed that the bus turned. I hauled ass to try to catch up with the next one I could see ahead of me. We finally caught up with it (after I may have sped a bit and weaved in and out of the lanes to get to the damn bus fast enough!), but it was at our turn to go home. So, what would any desperate mother do? Well, I followed that bus for a minute just to try to let you see it longer. Then, we had to get home to help Daddy with dinner, so I made that inevitable turn, and you were PISSED!!! I thought to myself that maybe chasing after that second bus wasn't really worth the crying you did again - right after you had finally calmed down from the first one disappearing! Live and learn, Mommy - live and learn!
- You are brushing your own teeth now! Mommy and Daddy help, and "tickling" your teeth helps really brush them. I'm hoping that stays the case - because it's usually my least favorite time of the evening to try to get you to do this to my liking - which is mostly because I'm a control freak who really wants your teeth CLEAN, not just barely touched by a toothbrush that you mostly suck on.
- You're a singer! You have recently starting using your voice to sing - more than you did before when you'd just say "la la la." Now you will actually use a falsetto (like that one, Aunt Kiki??) voice to try to sing something back to us. Yesterday, we heard Sarah McLachlan singing "Angel" on the radio. You immediately started trying to mimic her voice with your head voice (there's another one, Aunt Kiki!). You have a beautiful, angelic voice, and I can't wait to start hearing it more often!
- Like I said before, you pay close attention to detail. You copy us trying to vacuum. You mimic trying to plug something in. You stir things in your bowl. You once took the Wii steering wheel remote and placed it on the front of your "Batmobile" scooter and tried to drive it that way. You hear and see things we don't pay attention to (like the dog on the patio of the restaurant we had brunch at this weekend or where the itty-bitty puppy is on every page of a book we just started reading to you) - I swear you'll be great at Where's Waldo and I Spy!).
- Your hair is long. I don't know what to do with it. My rule now is either we cut it or put product in it, yes - gel! It's wavy/curly, and I love it that way. But, it's unruly and big (like Mommy's) if you don't do anything with it. So, for the time being - Daddy fixes it before we leave for any major public event/outing. It's a fro, a "Jew-do" if you will, a mess. But, hopefully as it gets longer the curls we once cut off will grow back and we can fix it. Otherwise, after December, we'll get your "wig split."
- You've been waking up earlier these days, and Daylight Savings did NOT help that. You've been waking up around 6:15, which is about an hour and half earlier than normal! I'm hoping it's a short little phase!
- Other things you're doing and enjoying these days: spinning/twirling (even from a sitting position sometimes), rolling on the floor like a rolling pin, watching a few minutes of TV (you call it "T") - but mostly Yo Gabba Gabba, washing your hands is a favorite activity (especially since Grandma taught you her little song: "Rub your hands together, rub them on the top, in between your fingers, before you stop!"), puzzles (which you are getting really good at), "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes," stacking cups/bowls, sitting at your little table, walking with your hands behind your back like the big kids at Aunt Kiki's school do, and watching the chef at your first hibachi dinner. You also must be growing because you eat everything!
- This month, you have been quite the "mama's boy," and I LOVE it! I know it could change back any day - as your preference for Daddy and me goes back and forth. But, this month - you picked me! That was a good thing, especially when Daddy was away all weekend in Austin. You and I had a great time together, and even though you asked about Daddy every hour or so, you were quite content to have me cuddle and play with you.You hold my hand, give kisses willingly, yell for me in the morning, and follow me wherever I go. :) I love your embraces; you will often run to me for a hug. When a noise startles you, you run to me for comfort. When Daddy chases you, you quickly giggle your way to me for safety.
Love,
Mommy
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
What I Did About the "Bitch-uation"
If you have been reading my blog for several months or more, you may remember me posting this about my neighbor's dog. Honestly after I thought it may have been getting better after Sam talked to one of the neighbors (there are actually two neighbors with obnoxiously loud dogs), I got fed up when we've been woken up by the dog(s) several mornings this week and again during nap time (PRECIOUS nap time!). So, here's what I decided to do about the "bitch-uation!" Banner and I tiptoed our way over to two different neighbors' houses and left this note for each of them. :) I'm hopeful that peace will be restored soon!
Dear
Neighbor,
Is
it your dog who barks repeatedly throughout the day? Not sure? Perhaps you are
at work, in the shower, or otherwise unable to hear that it may be your dog
waking the neighborhood first thing in the morning (before sunrise) and
disturbing the peace throughout the day. Please consider letting your dog in
the house after he/she barks/yelps for more than a minute or so. Even that
minute can seem like a long time for a house that would otherwise be quiet,
peaceful, and well-rested until your dog (and another in the neighborhood)
creates a ruckus.
If
you are unable to quiet your dog or take action to help maintain the serenity of
our neighborhood, we will be forced to contact authorities. We are more than
happy to provide a log of the disturbances we hear throughout the day and
night.
Thank
you for your understanding and cooperation.
Sincerely,
Your Neighbor
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Election Day
Today is Election Day, and honestly, I hate the hype, the news, the political debates, the chaos that surrounds such an event. Mostly, I can't stand this time of year because I'm sick of dirty campaigns that attack the opponent while steering clear of actually telling the voters what the candidate is actually going to DO, what he/she believes in, and HOW he/she will get the job done. I hate how ugly the campaigns get when we're really all on the same team. But, I digress... Today is Election Day... and as a woman, I've always thought about the women before me who fought so hard to have the right to vote, and it makes no sense for me not to exercise such a right. SO, even though I get frustrated with all the media, I do strongly believe in exercising your civic duty and responsibility in both getting the information you need to make a good choice and in casting an educated vote.
I have wanted to vote early all along, but Sam insisted on voting on Election Day. I decided to wait and vote with him, and even though it was a long wait, I am glad we did it this way. Sam took the morning off, and around 9:30, we headed out the door for a long but beautiful walk to the local rec center. Banner enjoyed his snack in his stroller, and Sam and I talked about the elections and whom we may or may not be voting for (Sam hadn't decided yet whom he was voting for). About 35 minutes later, we arrived at the rec center to see the line of voters wrapped around the outside of the building. We waited in line for maybe 45 minutes to an hour. Banner was such a trooper! Once the entrance to the building was in sight, Sam took Banner to walk around a bit before we were actually IN the building, and as we both signed in to vote, Sam held Banner while he said, "Maaama! Maaama!" gleefully as if he were really saying, "Mommy, look at me! I'm voting!" Sam kept reminding him to stay quiet at the polls, but he just kept saying "Maaama! Maaama!" in his singsong voice to get my attention. His voice was so sweet, and it reminded me that what we were doing in that moment mattered way more than who actually wins the presidency. It matters because we are showing Banner how to participate, how to stand up and let your voice be heard - even if the candidate you choose has no chance in hell of winning your state's support.
I couldn't help but get a wee bit emotional standing in line with all those other Americans who want their voices heard. We may not agree on the issues or who can lead this country in the best direction, but we are all there together, wanting a say. And, for so many of us, there have been crusaders ahead of our time who would give ANYTHING to have had a vote, or at least to have won that right easily and without a fight. One of my favorite TV movies is HBO's "Iron Jawed Angels," starring Hilary Swank as Alice Paul and Frances O'Connor as Lucy Burns. If you haven't seen it, check out the trailer here on YouTube. And, you can also watch the whole movie on YouTube, although in different segments. Great movie... telling the (mostly) true story about how the 19th Amendment came to finally be - giving women the right to vote. The fact that this amendment was drafted 40 years before it was finally submitted for ratification is outrageous. The fact that women (and people of all races) were not allowed to vote in the first place is also outrageous. I'm so glad America eventually got it right; I just wish all those against gay marriages would learn a lesson from our past and start living in the present - but don't get me started on that one.
Tonight, we'll be celebrating whomever won this election - in support of our incoming president. We'll be celebrating America, our faith in our leader, and our commitment to this country. We hope no matter who wins, he will lead us well. We are thankful for having a say, a right to a vote, and for being able to show our little boy how special America is. And, we'll be watching the news come in with a fun American-themed dark chocolate fondue! :)
Love this link, too: http://www.scarymommy.com/i-voted-today/
I have wanted to vote early all along, but Sam insisted on voting on Election Day. I decided to wait and vote with him, and even though it was a long wait, I am glad we did it this way. Sam took the morning off, and around 9:30, we headed out the door for a long but beautiful walk to the local rec center. Banner enjoyed his snack in his stroller, and Sam and I talked about the elections and whom we may or may not be voting for (Sam hadn't decided yet whom he was voting for). About 35 minutes later, we arrived at the rec center to see the line of voters wrapped around the outside of the building. We waited in line for maybe 45 minutes to an hour. Banner was such a trooper! Once the entrance to the building was in sight, Sam took Banner to walk around a bit before we were actually IN the building, and as we both signed in to vote, Sam held Banner while he said, "Maaama! Maaama!" gleefully as if he were really saying, "Mommy, look at me! I'm voting!" Sam kept reminding him to stay quiet at the polls, but he just kept saying "Maaama! Maaama!" in his singsong voice to get my attention. His voice was so sweet, and it reminded me that what we were doing in that moment mattered way more than who actually wins the presidency. It matters because we are showing Banner how to participate, how to stand up and let your voice be heard - even if the candidate you choose has no chance in hell of winning your state's support.
I couldn't help but get a wee bit emotional standing in line with all those other Americans who want their voices heard. We may not agree on the issues or who can lead this country in the best direction, but we are all there together, wanting a say. And, for so many of us, there have been crusaders ahead of our time who would give ANYTHING to have had a vote, or at least to have won that right easily and without a fight. One of my favorite TV movies is HBO's "Iron Jawed Angels," starring Hilary Swank as Alice Paul and Frances O'Connor as Lucy Burns. If you haven't seen it, check out the trailer here on YouTube. And, you can also watch the whole movie on YouTube, although in different segments. Great movie... telling the (mostly) true story about how the 19th Amendment came to finally be - giving women the right to vote. The fact that this amendment was drafted 40 years before it was finally submitted for ratification is outrageous. The fact that women (and people of all races) were not allowed to vote in the first place is also outrageous. I'm so glad America eventually got it right; I just wish all those against gay marriages would learn a lesson from our past and start living in the present - but don't get me started on that one.
Tonight, we'll be celebrating whomever won this election - in support of our incoming president. We'll be celebrating America, our faith in our leader, and our commitment to this country. We hope no matter who wins, he will lead us well. We are thankful for having a say, a right to a vote, and for being able to show our little boy how special America is. And, we'll be watching the news come in with a fun American-themed dark chocolate fondue! :)
Love this link, too: http://www.scarymommy.com/i-voted-today/
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Halloween Treats
Yesterday was Banner's first real Halloween. Last year, we didn't really get to recognize this at all (not that a four-month-old would know any different - but we did). So, this year, we definitely made up for it. Banner got to wear his froggy costume four different times! The first time was at the zoo's special event called Halloween Nights; the second was at our Halloween playdate; the third was at the local rec center's Boo Bash; and finally, last night, he wore it to trick-or-treat. I'm sure he wondered why we kept putting it on him, but he seemed pretty darn happy in that costume... and he looked pretty darn cute in it, too!
Here are some pictures from our long Halloween celebration. Enjoy!
Here are some pictures from our long Halloween celebration. Enjoy!
Halloween Nights at the Zoo:
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| Welcome! |
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| Cutest animal at the zoo! |
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| Puppet Show |
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| Family Photo |
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| Ready to Trick-or-Treat with Avery |
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| Kissin' on NaNa |
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| Waiting for the show to start |
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| Silly NaNa |
Gymnastics followed by Halloween Playdate:
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| Halloween Lunch |
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| Gymnastics Class |
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| "Wee-ooooo, Wee-oooo" |
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| Banner & Ms. Becky |
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| Let the playdate begin! |
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| Fun in the pit |
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| Sweet Ella-Bella |
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| Pumpkin bowling |
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| Strike! |
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| Evan |
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| Brayden |
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| Attempt at a group photo: Banner cried because he was more interested in getting his snack |
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| Simon "Einstein" |
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| Landry |
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| My favorite pic of Marin |
Boo Bash:
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| Fun pumpkins on our way in |
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| Entering the gym full of games and candy! |
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| Coloring - lasted all of 3 seconds before the crayon went in his mouth |
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| Bean bag toss with Daddy |
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| Grandma took this picture - and Banner had to have his "M's" with him |
Halloween Day!
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| Breakfast: Ghost & Witch's Hat Pancakes by Mommy |
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| Banner's ghost snack |
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| He shared his boo snacks with Daddy |
Halloween Night:
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| Aunt Mischelle & Brycen |
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| Not sure I like my baby hanging out in this "cemetery" - but it made for a good Halloween backdrop |
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| Cousins: Mara, Banner, Lilly, Brycen, Jackson, and Caden |
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| Mara, Brycen, and Caden |
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| More Cousins: Caden, Brycen, Lilly, Banner, Mara, Jordan, and Jackson |
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| I could just eat him up! |
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| Trick-or-treating! |
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| Pretty sure Banner would have made himself at home in this lady's house if Daddy didn't pull him away. As they turned around, Banner said, "Bye-bye!" |
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| He's got this Halloween thing down! |
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Dear Leslie
Dear Leslie,
It's been a full year without you now, and I still have a hard time believing that you are gone. So often Sam and I think about you as if you are still here; we have to remind ourselves that you aren't. It's so surreal that you're not a call or a one-minute drive away anymore. When we see a message on the answering machine, we still expect to hear your voice. When we need a babysitter, we still have you at the top of our list. When Banner meets a milestone, we want to share the news with you. When holidays approach, we expect to spend them with you.
While you are still with us very much - in our hearts and our minds - we miss you. I wish I could share with you the many times Sam and I have looked at Banner and seen you. There have actually been times when he makes a certain face, and I will respond with, "Hi, Leslie." I wish you could play with Banner, hear his belly laughs, watch his eyes light up when he learns something new, or console him when he's sick or hurt. I wish you could make Cream of Wheat for Sam when he's feeling sick, give him head massages when he's stressed out, or annoy him when he's annoying ME! I wish you had been able to hold Shelby's hand at her wedding. I wish you could have screamed with us that day on the lake that the choppy waters shook us up. . . I can totally see you freaking out! I wish you could laugh with us when Banner points at a pick-up truck and says, "Zaide!" I wish you could cheer for Miles at his football games and laugh at the way Colby calls his mother "Gayle."
I hate that you are missing such amazing time with us. This is such a special time, and I never, ever could have imagined that you wouldn't be here during these years. I hate that you only got to spend 4 months with Banner. I hate that you won't get to hear him actually call YOU "Bubbie" and not just your picture. He points to the bookshelf you made him before he was born. The first time he ever really noticed it, he pointed and said, "Bubbie." Now, he mostly says "Quack, Quack" at the duck on the side, but I'm just glad he notices it and likes it. Honestly, there was a time I didn't want to put that bookshelf up. If I'm being entirely honest, I didn't like it; I thought it was kind of ugly. (You were well aware that you and I had very different tastes. You once called Sam and I "minimalists" - and I agree, so the many stickers you placed on the bookshelf annoyed me.) Crazy how things change, though, right? Now, I really like it because it's a piece of you. We hang his little hats on the hooks, his Longhorn piggy bank you gave him rests on top, a sand dollar Sam brought back from California is gently propped up on it, and a few other odds and ends have been placed there as well. And, every time we look at the shelf, we're reminded of you and how much you already loved your grandson before you even met him.
Like I said before, you are still very much with us. There's not one occasion this year that has passed by without us thinking of you and missing you. Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine's Day, Fourth of July... obviously, Mother's Day, your birthday, and now Halloween. You name it - and you were there with us in spirit. We just wish you could be there physically. I can still vividly hear your laugh, your voice, your expression. I can see your face, your reactions, your smile. It's like I just saw you yesterday. I had you memorized, Leslie, which is a good thing now because I can share so much of you with Banner. I often bring you up in conversation with Sam, letting him know how much I think of you. He misses you very much. He may not talk about it with other people often, but he most definitely misses you. I miss you FOR him. I wish I could take that pain away from him. It hurts to know how much he hurts, to know how much he longs for your hug, the squeeze of your hand, your "I love you."
Banner pulled a small jewelry box out of Sam's bathroom drawer the other day. He opened the box, and out came two cufflinks. I quickly took them away from Banner before he could put them in his mouth, and when I looked at the inside of the box's lid, I noticed a large lipstick kiss on it. I showed it to Sam. He told me the cufflinks were from you, and that kiss was yours. He got kind of giddy for a minute, so smiley and excited to have that. He took a picture of it on his phone, and he sent it to Gayle & Shelby. He said he never knew that was there. In some weird way, I felt like Banner, you, and I had given him a gift all together that day. A little piece of you. I know it made him happy to see that, but it also probably made him miss you even more, as he talked about how you used to leave lipstick blots like that all over the house before you would leave. He may be a my little boy's father - all grown up and sophisticated, but he'll always be your little boy who wants his mommy.
I think of that often when I'm snuggling with Banner. I can't imagine not being here for him. I hate even thinking that, and I hate it FOR YOU that you're not here for your kids and grandchildren. I feel like you were robbed of so much time, so much joy. But I promise you this: You are very much still here, very present, and very loved. Each month that Banner gets his PJ Library book, we tell him it's a gift from Bubbie. Each time we look at photos, we point to you and await his "Bubbie" response. Each time we are together at a family event, we talk about you and remember. Each time Sam or I have a big decision to make, we reflect on what your input would be. I hope wherever you are right now that you know how loved and missed you are. I hope you are at peace, that you are smiling down on us, that you can hear us think of you, and that you know you are still very much alive in us.
Love,
Amber
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Aches & Pains
Close friends and family members are always asking me how I'm feeling, how I'm doing since my arthritis diagnosis. I so appreciate them asking how I feel, and I tend to tell them honestly what being in this body feels like on a day-to-day basis - which is: it's difficult. It's a hard question to answer really, because each day is different, but mostly it sucks! I'm still working with my rheumatologist to find the right medication for me, and my body is quickly getting worse. Joints continue to hurt, and this "flare" seems to never end. I'm finding more and more things are affected by my aches, pains, swelling, and stiffness. Yet, when people ask me how I'm doing - I tend to hesitate on how much to tell. It's hard to know if they're asking to be nice or asking because they genuinely want to know what is going on or how I'm REALLY feeling. I'm not trying to say that they are disingenuous when asking, but you know what I mean, right? Someone says, "How are you?" and the polite response is, "I'm good, you?" or some variation of that. Staff members at the school I now substitute at (but used to work at for the past 8 years) will ask how I am, and I never know how much they really want to hear. They are my friends; they care about me; they would listen. But... they are also working, ready for a typical "Fine, thanks, you?" answer.
And, then, there's Sam. I feel like I complain to him on a daily basis. Sometimes I'm filling him in just so he knows what's going on with me or what new ailments have popped up. Sometimes I just need him to let me bellyache about it. Sometimes it helps to have a second person think these symptoms through with me so when I document or talk to the doctor, he can help explain or help me remember. Mostly, I talk to him at night when I'm dreading going to bed because I fear the stiffness and pain that awaits me the following morning. He's sympathetic and wishes he could do something to help. What's helpful is that he listens. What's helpful is that he doesn't complain about my complaining. What's helpful is that he is gentle and understanding.
Some nights, I go to bed with a list of complaints in my head and don't want to dish it all out onto Sam. Sometimes it seems unfair to have him have to hear the same things over and over again. So, I thought I'd write it down and be done with it! I just have to get it out there. So, if you really want to know how I'm doing... read on:
You should understand that most of the complaints I have are due to the fact that my knee, my jaw, both wrists, both elbows, and on occasion my neck and a few toes cause me pain. Some of these joints are visibly swollen (knee), some of them are not visibly swollen but the doctor can tell they are (toes), all are stiff, and all are achy. So, what effect does that have on my daily life?
And, then, there's Sam. I feel like I complain to him on a daily basis. Sometimes I'm filling him in just so he knows what's going on with me or what new ailments have popped up. Sometimes I just need him to let me bellyache about it. Sometimes it helps to have a second person think these symptoms through with me so when I document or talk to the doctor, he can help explain or help me remember. Mostly, I talk to him at night when I'm dreading going to bed because I fear the stiffness and pain that awaits me the following morning. He's sympathetic and wishes he could do something to help. What's helpful is that he listens. What's helpful is that he doesn't complain about my complaining. What's helpful is that he is gentle and understanding.
Some nights, I go to bed with a list of complaints in my head and don't want to dish it all out onto Sam. Sometimes it seems unfair to have him have to hear the same things over and over again. So, I thought I'd write it down and be done with it! I just have to get it out there. So, if you really want to know how I'm doing... read on:
You should understand that most of the complaints I have are due to the fact that my knee, my jaw, both wrists, both elbows, and on occasion my neck and a few toes cause me pain. Some of these joints are visibly swollen (knee), some of them are not visibly swollen but the doctor can tell they are (toes), all are stiff, and all are achy. So, what effect does that have on my daily life?
- Drying my hair is difficult. Reaching around to the back of my head, bringing the brush all the way down to the ends of my hair, holding the dryer, using a flat-iron . . . it's all frustrating.
- Chewing can hurt, opening my mouth enough to get certain foods in can hurt
- Stairs have to be taken one-by-one (going up or down), and even a curb is a challenge on some days
- Scratching a hard-to-reach itch on my back is impossible.
- Turning my body in bed wakes me up completely (and Sam usually) - it mostly hurts my wrists, but my knee and elbows too
- Putting my purse on my shoulder, adjusting my clothing/bra on my shoulders is difficult unless I use the opposite hand (if I use the same side hand, the elbow won't bend enough to reach the shoulder)
- Getting dressed is not as easy as it used to be - putting shoes and socks on and even off can be difficult
- Let's get really personal for a second... think of sitting on the toilet and finishing your business only to have to use your wrist at an acute angle to clean yourself. Not so easy with a bum wrist. (But yes, the job does get done!)
- Talking on the phone can hurt my wrists and elbows unless I'm hands-free/speaker-phone
- Standing up or walking after a long sit (like in the car, at a restaurant, at a doctor's office, at the movie theater) takes a bit of wait time before I can really move
- Shaking someone's hand hurts if they shake it with force. . . kind of embarrassing to wince as I meet a new person
- Taking a casserole dish out of the oven is a challenge because it's hard on the wrists (you need more strength to grasp around an oven mitt/potholder)
- Taking dishes out of the dishwasher - I have overestimated my wrist strength and dropped a plate once and on another occasion a drinking glass
- Wrestling Banner on the changing table - ugh!
- When it gets cold outside or when temperatures drop, I feel flu-like. I get achy all over, feel very weak, and have the chills.
- I've noticed I can't turn my wrist all the way to wave to students in the hallway... it just looks kind of awkward.
- My elbows won't stretch out all the way (or bend all the way) anymore. Reaching for something that someone is handing me can be hard - and it looks as if I'm not really trying hard to "do my share" of the reaching. I once read an article about a woman feeling embarrassed about this same issue at the drive-thru because she couldn't hand over her cash at the window to actually reach the cashier. The cashier kind of rolled his eyes at her as if she were purposefully being difficult.
- Driving when my wrists hurt is another challenge. I wouldn't say it's dangerous because I CAN steer, it just hurts a bit. The worst is probably backing out because that's when you are most likely to be rotating your hands/wrists at a faster pace or at least in different directions in a short period of time.
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