My Baby Daddy (Part 2)

Last year, I posted this about/for Sam. In rereading what I wrote, there isn't a whole lot to add, which is ironic since Sam had only been a daddy for 10 days at that time. I look back at our first year with Banner and can reflect on so many memories in which Sam proved he was an amazing father. You can read his "Guest Post" which tells of specific moments he shares with Banner; you can tell he's a pretty awesome dad. But, now that we have a year under our belts, I thought I'd elaborate on what I know NOW about my "Baby Daddy!" :)

Sam calls Banner his "best friend." Literally, he walks into the room and says, "Hey, Best Friend!" He feels a strong bond to Banner, and Banner certainly feels it too, even if if can't articulate it just yet. There have been times throughout the year when Banner only calms for his daddy, when he only wanted Sam and no one else would do, and he still looks for Sam every morning after Sam has left for work. He walks around the house sometimes saying, "Dada" and hopes to find him in an empty room. Later in the day, Banner squeals when he hears the back door open - and even before that, when he hears the garage door going up, he quickly stands up (almost with a jump!) to start walking to greet Daddy. Banner is a giddier, louder, gigglier kid when Sam is around. We have our fun - don't get me wrong - but having Daddy around makes a world of difference. And, even on my days to sleep in, I can hear Banner's giggles and squeals when Daddy is in charge.

Sam is definitely a lot of fun, but I'd be lying if I said it was all fun and games. I've learned from my "mommy" friends that it's pretty typical for their husbands to get frustrated, annoyed, irritated, and short-tempered when they don't know how to handle a certain situation. I've seen that with Sam. There have been a handful of times when he has all but lost his mind when it came to Banner's crying. He's raised his voice or cussed out of sheer frustration in not knowing how to help his son; there may have even been a baby monitor thrown across the room (although, it just might have been an accident, who knows?). Never has Sam cussed or raised his voice to Banner. You can just tell he doesn't know what to do or how to help, and there's no greater anxiety-provoker than the shrill cries of your child when you don't know what's wrong. These times, while they were awful when they happened, have given Sam and I opportunities to grow and learn from each other. While there have been times that Sam has forced me to be the more patient parent, we later discuss the situation and learn how to better cope in the future. I know there are plenty more opportunities coming our way as our son learns to stand his own ground or become entirely way too willful. But, each time we, as parents, feel the strain and struggle, Sam and I have learned to try to have a sense of humor, to let it go, to do whatever works, and then make a plan for next time. That's pretty much how we have always handled our conflicts... make a plan for next time, and these great talks usually help in future dilemmas.

 
Sam is really good at doing the "dad" stuff with Banner. He loves to get him riled up before bed time, he loves to show him things he shouldn't learn (like how to open the childproof drawer locks), he always takes Banner to water the plants outside and to check the mail, he's let him sit behind the steering wheel (no, not while driving!!), and he encourages the burps and farts. And, Banner has been the best medicine for Sam this hard year of dealing with his mom's death. Sam loved taking Banner on evening walks shortly after Bubbie died, and I know Sam would tell Banner all about her. Banner makes Sam smile, he greets Sam when he returns home from work, and his giggles brighten his days.

Not only is Sam good to Banner, but he's really good to Banner's mommy. He treats me so well, and genuinely respects me. He loves to kiss me in front of Banner, to show him how in love we are. He loves to give family hugs. He cooks when I am too worn out, and he always amazes me at how fast he can clean the clutter in any given room. He listens to my fears and worries, and he makes me feel like a great mom. I feel truly blessed to be married to Banner's amazing father.

Stay tuned for how we spent our Father's Day!