17-Month Newsletter: Knox

Dear Knox,
Summer always seems to fly faster, so it's not a surprise that it feels like yesterday when I was just writing your 16-month post. Today, you're one month closer to one and a half, and that saddens me. As much as I love watching you grow up - and I'm grateful you are doing so quite beautifully - I can't help but feel a little sad as my baby keeps distancing himself from being just that - a baby. You're getting quite tall, becoming so independent, now have a mouth nearly full of teeth, and can communicate with such proficiency for a young toddler your age. I have so enjoyed this last month with you, spending our days alone while Banner and Quinn are at camp. We've tried out so many new cool things, and it's so exciting to be the one to join you on these new adventures you're experiencing.

So, what have you been up to this month?

-You're saying all kinds of new words - and new ones pop up and surprise us daily! Yesterday, for example, Daddy asked, "Who wants __?" (I can't remember exactly what he was asking, but it was some kind of food - like who wants cheese pizza or who wants milk or something in the kitchen.) You said, "ME!" and Daddy and I looked at each other not expecting you to answer as your brothers do. It makes sense that you would, but it was a surprise that you chimed in - and even before they responded. In the last week or so, whenever I call your name, you answer, "What?" It kills me ... that you've picked up on these little nuances we all take for granted - to answer with this word. But, it's the cutest little "what," more like "wahhhht" with the slightest little /t/ at the end as your voice raises in question. You also now say "um" for "come" or "some"  - if it's "come," you will pull us where you want, if it's "some," you will point to what you want. You also added: "ish" (fish), "hat," and "vigh" (five) - although that one came along before this month and I'm just remembering to add it in your list.

-You enjoy singing and humming so much. You happily chime in with us when you know a song like "Twinkle, Twinkle" or "Old McDonald." You say the last words of a phrase or line, and you can pitch match very well! On Yo Gabba Gabba, you may not know all the words, but you happily match the tune and try your best to sing along. (Speaking of Gabba, you like to say the standard lines that DJ Lance says: "awesome!" or "bye bye" or "awwww" at the end of the show.)

-You gave up bottles this month! I'm happy to announce you are bottle-free, but as I wrote in this post, I'm saddened at the fact that we're done with them, too.

-We also officially have one nap a day now.

-You attended your first movie this month (Despicable Me 3) and did amazingly well. You also went to play at the "beach" for the first time - getting those toes in the sand was quite an experience for you! And, we celebrated my birthday, Father's Day, and the 4th of July for the second time in your life.

-We started My Gym classes this month, too. Your first class was so fun for me to be back where Quinn and I spent so many months in class there together. I was excited to see how you would do. Much to my delight, you seemed to love the set-up and the activities right away. You don't smile much when we are there - especially when the teachers try to get one out of you; you're expressions are more like, "What are you doing? Leave me alone." You are our "stoic baby," as Daddy calls you. You're pensive and thoughtful and hard to impress when others are watching you. But, when it's just you and me, you are a giggly guy, and we are having so much fun there!

-We also began swim lessons at the rec center just last week. Ms. Violet is our instructor. I get in the pool with you, and so far these lessons are more impressive than when I swam with Banner the summer before Quinn was born. I like our time together, but you are tentative about how you feel about the water and splashing around in it. You haven't been a fan of splash parks this summer, so I'm not surprised you aren't loving the splashing that happens at our lessons. The second lesson was better for you than the first, so I'm hoping this week will also be better as you get to know the routine.

-Your favorite things: freeze-dried strawberries (although they may be creating a tiny rash around your mouth; I can't be sure yet), raisins, watching television (specifically Gabba still), standing up in your highchair - we've welcomed strapping you in again!, Danimal smoothies, dancing, going to Grandma's house, being a part of the group (mostly doing whatever your brothers are doing!), giving hugs, brushing your teeth, reading books at bedtime, waving hello and goodbye to people, and giving high fives ("vigh").

-You haven't been sleeping well at all this week. I'm not sure if you're getting a cold, have an ear infection (you have a runny nose and a mild cough), or if all these changes (one nap, no bottle) are causing unrest for you. You are getting so many teeth (all your molars are popping up), too. There are lots of reasons you may be struggling at night, but whatever it is, you've needed lots of cuddles and attention in the middle of the night for hours on end. I've spent the last two nights on your bedroom floor reassuring you that I'm still there for several hours. I really wish you would sleep. I also don't blame you. I'm pretty fun to hang out with! :) Ha... just kidding. What I really know is that you are learning so much in the past few weeks, with many new experiences and places we've been and seen. I've seen such maturity and growth in these weeks, so it's no wonder your amazing brain is processing too much in your sweet dreams that you keep waking up needing help to calm it down. Each night, Daddy and I hope you've turned a corner, but those awakenings keep happening. Hopefully, we will see a change soon!!

Knox Morgan, you fit in with our family so very well. You are a delight to spend the day with, and even if I'm tired and exhausted and annoyed being up with you at 1 AM or 2 or 3 or 4 or all of the above,  you're a delight to cuddle in the middle of the night, too. One of my favorite things is how you hold my hand or my finger and lead me where you want to go. I love how you lay "keppe" on me when you just want to snuggle. I love how you communicate in a variety of creative ways to let us know what you want. I love how sweet you smell and how soft your skin is. I love your silky, straight hair and the way your entire face lights up when you laugh or smile. I love how much you love your brothers and want to be with them. I love hearing your sweet voice telling me new words or babbling up a storm with such specific intent. I love our time together, and I'm savoring it so much! I know you won't remember much of what we are doing, but I know you'll feel the bond and the love we have for each other growing each day. (And don't worry, I'm taking lots of pictures for you!)

Happy 17-Months, Knoxy!
We all love you so very much!
Love,
Mommy

Photos courtesy of Laura Weinstein Photography

Bottling 'Em Up

The day came. Well, really, the night. Night came, and with it - one last bottle. He's not particularly attached to it. But, well, let's be honest. I am. And, we are done with them. It's not really the object I'm so connected to; it's the tie to infancy, the hanging on to their babyhood. And, with Knox's last one tonight, a big giant step forward is made away from parenting infants. While I realize he should have said goodbye to his bottle somewhere around 4 and a half months ago, I'm not one to just stop cold turkey on their first birthday. So, with each baby, we've weaned a little here and there and then finally said goodbye to bottles around 15 months. Well, Knox is almost 17 months - and I dragged my feet with him a little more. He's only had one bottle a day (at bedtime) for the last couple weeks now. Before then, we've been slowly dropping the mid-day and morning bottles. The transition has been seamless - MUCH unlike his older brother, Quinn's was, and somewhat different from Banner's, too. Dropping the bottle with Knox doesn't give me anxiety like it did with Banner, and he hasn't shown any disdain from drinking milk from a sippy cup like Quinn did. But, having a bottle in his mouth as I got him ready for bed every night sure did help keep Knox still and less squirmy in the past 6 months or so. But, a pacifier will have to suffice now, and it's time to bottle those bottles up - pack them up and give them to another family who can use them.

It's funny - I never wanted to have bottles in my house. I wanted to breastfeed, and with the birth of my first baby came the overwhelming societal guilt if I didn't succeed in this goal. Bottles and formula were a big no-no, and I wanted so badly to fulfill that desire of exclusively nursing. I wanted to be THE one who could feed and nourish my baby. But, nursing wasn't for me. I beat myself up over it more than I ever should - more than anyone ever should! And, within the first couple days of his life, we were already supplementing with formula and soon thereafter with an itty-bitty bottle. Bottles saved him. Bottles saved me. Bottles saved my sanity, my relationship, my household, and the relationship I would even have with my future babies.

The bottle parts - oh so many! The bottle washing - oh so annoying! The bottle carrying and storing and filling and spilling - such a pain. But, they nourished my children. They gave me a way to connect with my babies every time I held them close and looked into their eyes and sang or talked or hummed or enjoyed the quiet midnights with them. And, it gave their daddy a chance to connect, and their grandma, and their aunts...  We could all share the load, as well as the special time with these many feedings in the last 6 years of my babies' lives.

So, I don't want this little event to go unannounced, unnoticed, unmentioned, or unappreciated. I'm about to gain quite a bit of space in my cabinet and in my dishwasher - and I am so excited about that. I have big plans for that cabinet we've been waiting to empty of bottles and vent inserts and travel disks and vent reservoirs (I even know what they're called!) and nipples and collars and bottle caps and bottle drying racks. What a bittersweet evening this is.

So, a turning point for us... and for Knox. Tomorrow, sweet Knox, we will pour no milk into a bottle. We will rock without liquid. We will wrangle you with other enticing objects that might keep you still during the pajama routine! All three of us will miss our nightly cuddles while you suckle away on that bottle. In fact, when I told Daddy tonight was your last bottle, he was surprised and seemingly sad. I watched him hold you as he offered you the bottle before getting you ready for bed. He held you in his lap; you sat there in the folds of his criss-crossed legs, just guzzling away as he rocked with you, his lips on the crown of your head while I finished helping Quinn out of the shower. Then, I took you to read in the glider while you held your bottle and we read Hug, a book that lately makes you laugh - and read with us! After we finished the book, you had about one ounce left (which you rarely even finish these last few months; I'm telling you, you really don't need it anymore!). You let me cradle you and hold the bottle for you - something I haven't done in many, many months! I will remember that for a long time, sweet boy! Thank you for that - and thank you for letting me rock you after Daddy came in and took a picture to capture the moment. Thank you for the cuddles in the dark and the humming we did before bed tonight. Thank you for tolerating my tears as I made up words to a tune I just created as I went - about being my baby and letting me rock you and remembering and soaking up my time with all three of my babies in that same glider. It was a strange song, I admit it... one I'll never remember - but I'll remember you, and the weight of you on my chest, and your sweet smell and the tears that fell just embracing the moment with you - and that empty bottle on the corner of your crib.

And, oh, Dr. Browns, you've served my three children well, and they each thank you for reducing reflux and gas while nourishing their little growing bodies! So, even though I never wanted you in my house, you are hard to let go of! You beat out Tommy Tippee and Avent and God only knows the other bottles that never worked for my spitty babies. You survived 6 years of washings and soap suds and scrubbers and gums and tooth buds and baby teeth. Thank you for your service.

My Husband: The Congressman?

When I was 16 years old, I was at a youth group event where new members were being inducted into their chapter. I was the date of an already-established member who was on the executive board of the chapter, and I didn't know but maybe a couple of the younger boys being inducted that night. As the ceremony began, I didn't know that my life was about to change. A few minutes into the start, when everyone was quiet and listening to the chapter president begin his opening words, in walked a rowdy, lanky 14-year-old kid with long, orangish hair pulled back into a ponytail and a burnt-red leather jacket. He high-fived a fellow inductee as all the other boys appeared to roar in unison, "Sammy!" He seemed to demand the attention from others, and therefore, my immediate thoughts were, "Who does this kid think he is, marching in late, making a raucous, acting like he is the most important guy here!?" Yet, at the same time, there was an overwhelming feeling of intrigue as I also thought, "There's something special about this guy." His entrance into the room obviously made an impression on me, for better or for worse... as I just knew there was so much more about him. Even though he was so very different than me, there was a strong pull to him in a strange way that made me feel that he would be an important figure in my life.

Fast forward 21 years, and my initial thoughts about that boy who would become my husband and the father of our three sons have been shared with him, our family, and our friends throughout the years. Never once have I been wrong about him. Who does he think he is?? He IS someone special. That boy was a kid with a passion for leading others - whether it was as a cheerleader in 10th grade, a JROTC company commander in high school, a youth group regional president his senior year, a resident advisor in college, a law school student voted most likely to become a political figure, the vice president of the Student Bar Association, or a young lawyer who would take the courageous steps to starting his own law firm and then becoming one of Texas's Rising Stars attorneys soon thereafter.  Sam is always looking for ways to learn more about the community in order to be a helper. He's been active in the Anti-Defamation League for years helping lead several committees, he's a graduate of the FBI Citizen's Academy, he eagerly participates in various career day fairs at local elementary schools  - including my own where I'm a school counselor, and he donates blood several times a year. 

So, when the idea came about that he should run for political office, no one was surprised. This has been on Sam's agenda since I've known him. And, while I adore his passion for serving his community, I never wanted to see him actually run for any office or position. In fact, I was so opposed to this idea, that when he began volunteering to help with local campaigns more than 6 years ago, I was hopeful that he would get it out of his system and never want to do more. Furthermore, when he brought home a candidate's yard sign, I was pretty upset. There was NO way he was going to put that in our front yard.... at least not for long.

My disdain for him holding public office was purely selfish. I have never had the desire to be in any kind of public spotlight. Sam and I are so different when it comes to that particular trait. He's the one on the dance floor wildly playing his air guitar while everyone cheers and claps. I'm the one standing clearly out of the way wondering how much longer this insanity is going to last before my guy just hangs out with me. Sam likes the attention, he loves to be in the center of it all. Me... not so much. I'm the shy but outgoing lady who takes a while to warm up to a crowd. He's an extrovert, and I'm an introvert. I like to feel out a party before I jump right in. He IS the party. 

Yet, as the political climate changed around us, and we were feeling an urgent need to get more involved and figure out what can be done to bring back hope to the future of our children, the timing seemed perfect for Sam to move forward with his dream. I was a key player in that initial decision, and I had to be on-board for what was coming logistically. Campaigning and fund-raising would be a full-time job for Sam - on top of managing his case load and being available to clients in his law firm, as well as being the hero to his three young children. 

As a mother to those children, I am "mama bear," wanting to protect the time Sam spends with these three boys who adore him, want him around, and can't stand when he's away. As the parent who spends more time with them, I am overwhelmed at the thought of Sam being gone more than he already is - at having to be at meeting after meeting, at campaign events for hours on end, at weekend functions to get to know voters. As anyone who knows us as a couple and as parents would tell you, we balance each other out well, and we share the load of responsibilities pretty equally, so knowing my counterpart won't be around much during campaigning (and hopefully beyond should he become elected!), I have been dreading the inevitable extra work and lack of a break that is heading my way. I'm apprehensive about having to get these three kiddos and myself presentable to the public however many times that is necessary in the coming months/years. As always, I'm just trying to be honest here... I'm feeling a bit anxious about that part of it and wish he wouldn't run at all! 

But, that's where my concern ends. Again, any wishing he wouldn't do this is purely selfish as I worry about how his campaign will affect ME and my young family and how much harder my job as Mommy is going to be without the hands, presence, and routine of having Daddy around as much. As Sam's wife and best friend, however, there is no one else I can think of who could do this job better! I stand behind this decision 100%, and I am so excited to be along for this journey he's taking our family on! More importantly, I'm elated to be on the front lines of watching Sam listen to the community, meet the people, and share his ideas for improving our community, our country! Since he made his announcement on Wednesday (July 5th), there's been an overwhelming feeling of excitement as our friends, family, coworkers, and acquaintances have rallied and spread the word about this amazing candidate. 

Sam is an all-around good guy. He's one of the kindest, most compassionate, most committed people I've ever known. He has a passion and conviction for doing what's right, even when it means taking the long road or making more work for himself. And I'm not just saying this to get you to vote for him or to donate to his campaign (which you are more than welcome and invited to do, whether you live in our district or not!) because there's that Mommy part of me that hopes he loses this election. I'm saying this because we need good guys in D.C. We need people who aren't going to get wrapped up in themselves, who are do-gooders by nature, who won't get "bought," who are something special! He's got great ideas, and he's got a great team of people who are supporting him. I'm one of those people. Sam, good luck on this big endeavor. You've never let me down in the past, and I have no question you won't let your voters down, either. You have made an impact on me since you walked in that door. Others will see what I mean. Those who know you already know what I'm talking about. As I know you will, stay true to you and to your goal of paving the way for your beautiful sons who are voting for you in every way they can. I love you.

To find out more, to join us, or to donate, please visit: www.votesamjohnson.com. To clarify, those who wish to help support Sam do not have to live in our district. You can donate, you can like his posts and pages on social media, you can fundraise, you can display one of Sam's yard signs, you can share all the great things you already know and also what you will learn with those who DO live in this district, you can even share this blog post. A win for Sam is a win for YOU, too, no matter where you live. We need honorable, just, level-headed, logical people representing us in DC. 

A note to those who want to vote:

To find out if you can vote for Sam, please check here: http://www.house.gov/representatives/find/

If you are in Texas District 3, then yes, you can vote for Sam. The primary will be in March! I don't care who you vote for... just VOTE!

Note: The current U.S. Texas representative for this district, ironically also named Sam Johnson, will not be running for re-election after many years as our representative. Some negative comments have been made referring to "my" Sam needing to clearly differentiate himself from the current Republican congressman. Well, duh. Obviously, those who know my husband know he would never do anything to try to usurp someone else's service, achievements, awards, or contributions. The "same name issue" is not an issue, nor should it be confusing to anyone. My Sam is a Democrat, not a Republican; the current Congressman is not seeking reelection per a public announcement made in January; and let's face it - Sam Johnson is a pretty common name. His desire to run for this office is perfect timing since he will not be running against a man by the same name. Let's just hope my Sam is the incumbent's successor. 

Camp Mommy: June 2017

The summer Banner turned one year old, I had just resigned from my full time job as a school counselor. His first birthday marked the beginning of my time as a stay-at-home mom, and I was a bit overwhelmed at the constancy of my role and always having to be "on" for him. It's a heavy job to be your child's sole teacher and entertainer all day long, so I was anxious about what I would do with him that whole year. We did activities here and there, and then I started subbing every now and then during the school year. The school year brought lots of varied activities that were offered on a constant, routine basis: library story time, play groups at the rec center, parks and classes we could join, etc. But, once summer arrived again, I knew the typical activities we did weren't going to be available due to summer camps and various summer closings. I kinda started to panic as Banner turned 2, and I also wanted to make the most of our time together before he started preschool. I wanted to be the one to teach him how to cut, glue, play with play doh, etc. I didn't want his teachers getting those first experiences with him and me missing out. AND, the teacher in me wanted a plan so we I didn't lose our my mind over the long, hot summer. Thus began the first summer of Camp Mommy.

I had a calendar with an AM activity and a PM activity, and my entire circle of first time mom friends were invited to bring their little kids with us every day. We had a great first summer, and Banner had so much fun with his little first friends. Fast-forward 4 years later, and Camp Mommy is still very much alive and well, and I've gotten much better at knowing how to plan and what is appropriate for my toddler each summer. The only thing that has changed is the number of children (and ages) I plan around now - and of some new and old friends and their changing families. Another great perk is that most of what we do costs very little to nothing! I'm proud to say we find the best deals, go to places on their discount days, bring coupons, use teacher IDs, or use our Pearachute deals to get to these places for a great or (even better) NO price!

As the summer approached, I was giddy with the thoughts of spending more time with Knox, especially one-on-one when the big boys go to camp. I've been excited about the first couple weeks of summer with all three boys - although I'd be lying if I didn't say also that I was anxious at the exhaustion that I knew was heading my way with wrangling them, feeding them, consoling them, refereeing them, potty-ing them, buckling them, and simply getting out the door with them every day!  But, the thought of staying put for even a full day without getting out is enough to also wear me out, so my annual summer planning was a must!

June was a hit! Every day - EVERY day! - we did SOMETHING, and not one thing disappointed. We had such a fun month, and by June 15th, I was actually sad at how fast the summer was already going! So much left to do, so much left in store, and I was already mourning how fast I knew it was going to go and how I wish we had MORE time together. But, this last week of June, as Banner and Quinn headed off to their first of 6 weeks of full-day/full-week camp, Knox and I have been enjoying our special time together. Man, I love that kid! Of course I miss my big boys, but I know they are having a great time with friends and new things to explore and learn - just like we are!

A quick run down of the main highlights of our month: San Antonio and Austin road trip (Sea World, the Alamo, River Walk, the Texas History Museum, the Capitol - an entire post coming on that trip later), Quinn's celebration dinner at preschool, movies, birthday celebrations, play areas, parks, craft projects, haircuts, swim fun at Grandma's, martial arts classes, swim classes, a special zoo date with Banner to make up for missing his Kindergarten field trip there, pottery, arcades, dentist and doctor visits, library time, camp began, sleepovers, My Gym classes began, Father's Day, and fishing with Zaide at the lake.

Check out our busy JUNE! July fun starts TOMORROW!

The morning of Banner's last day in Kindergarten

He got in my car with this crown on for his birthday. He's a FIRST GRADER!

At Sea World

Sea World Selfie

Just walking across Texas (Bob Bullock museum)

Quinn's preschool dinner

Singing with his class

Last drop-off of the school year for Quinn

How to Train Your Dragon date

Happy Birthday, Ella - of course, at Menchie's!

We celebrated Bubbie's birthday with a special song and blow out in her memory.

The Tubes & The Bugs

Swimming at Grandma's

Baking with Grandma

Jungle Joe's

Ella's birthday party

Seeing Matilda at Alamo

Enjoying the dentist's waiting room

The DMA

EQ Kids Club 

Can you spot Quinn?

Post swim lesson car wash!

Little archeologist digging for some dinosaur bones

Giving Daddy his Father's Day craft

Happy Father's Day!

Father's Day at Big Boss's house

On the monorail train at the Zoo!

Color Me Mine with Levi

While this little dude waited so patiently for them to finish their projects

Bubble Man at the mall

Nickel Mania with Levi

Banner gave Knox his first lollipop

Kid Expressions 

Waiting for library story time

After story time - we went to the Coop

Music class at 7 Notes

Knox gave Damon his pacifier to see if he liked it

Mommy/Daddy date night - while the boys had sleepovers!

Riding Thomas at My Gym

Splash park fun

Hope Park

Klyde Warren Park