A Stay-at-Home Day

So, yesterday I posted about my typical day while working. Well, today, this is my typical day while at home with Banner...

6:52am I am awoken by Banner's crying in his crib. I'm glad he slept well through the night, and I'm glad I got to "sleep in" 45 minutes from when my alarm would typically be sounding on a work day. I quickly pee before going into his room. It's Saturday, which means it's my day up early with him. Sam keeps sleeping.

6:53-7:00am Change Banner's poopy diaper. He's squirming and pissed off, and he seems to be looking for Sam. I'm getting annoyed and wish I could crawl back into bed. I am trying to talk sweetly to him and help him stop twisting, but he's still pissed off. I'm trying to not let the poop still on his bottom get onto the changing table like yesterday. Today, I am successful.

7:00-7:15am Make a bottle. Feed Banner 7 oz while he grabs for my glasses. I try to dodge the grabs while still talking sweetly to him and letting him grab at my lip instead. He scratches me. Crap, I need to cut his nails today. Now that should be fun!

7:15-7:25 Let Banner play in the closet in his room while I enjoy not having to move from the glider. I hear him pooping. I let him finish and gain the strength to change yet another poopy diaper. I don't really care about the poop, it's the incessant twisting and contorting that bothers me. I will have to wrestle my son again less than 45 minutes into my day. He wails when I change him. No distraction is working. I feel bad that Sam is trying to sleep and Banner is screaming. But, I finally get his tush clean, and there's a new diaper on him now.

7:25-7:35 Let Banner play more in his room. I watch silently as he gets into the drawers and cabinet of his dresser. He seems very pleased with himself. I try to cajole him out of his room so he can go eat his oatmeal, but he has no interest in following me. I just sit outside his room watching him more. He's letting out pleasant shrieks of joy while cruising around his dresser and crib.

7:35-7:45 I make and feed Banner his oatmeal. He's in his high chair looking around the room. It's pretty quiet.

7:45-8:00 I take advantage of the fact that Banner is content in the high chair. I offer him a couple of small toys and wheel him next to the sink so I can hand wash 6 bottles.

8:00-8:10 I'm getting hungry, so I pour myself a bowl of cereal. This means I will have to offer Banner some Cheerios. I sit on the floor of the kitchen trying to eat without spilling as Banner climbs on me and reaches for my bowl. I finally finish, and when I go to rinse my bowl in the sink, Banner pulls up on my pant legs. My pajamas are starting to fall off of me as he keeps pulling on me. There I am, 8:00 in the morning, being "pants'd" by my 10 month old. Awesome.

8:10-8:50 We go play in the playroom. I turn on the computer to check email, but I never actually get to that point. Banner is reaching for the computer, so I put it aside and get on the floor with him. I feel guilty for not giving him more attention. I turn on the TV and put it on Wonder Pets, a show with singing, animated animals. It's about how they save the "Beatles" - a bug rock band that is trapped in kelp in their yellow submarine. I find it entertaining because they keep referencing the real Beatles. Banner really isn't interested and cruises around the room with the occasional beating on the television screen and turning the volume knob on the speakers. I have to keep redirecting him, and dammit, he's interrupting my cartoon watching! ;) I finally decide it's getting close to his nap time, so I should try to cut his nails. (I like to wait until he's sleepier so he fights me less.) I pull him up on my lap and start trying to snip away. I get one hand done thanks to the distraction of a highlighter marker. I get two fingers done on the other hand before he starts freaking out, planking his body in full force to resist my efforts. Luckily, this is when Sam walks into the room, and he helps me distract Banner so I can cut the other three nails.

8:50-9:05am I whip up some cake batter while Sam helps me entertain Banner. I want to try to see if I can make Banner's birthday cake on my own or if I will need to just buy a cake. We still have 8 weeks before his party, but I can only use my weekends to tackle the errands/chores to make his birthday a success! Yes, I'm trying to be proactive... I know I'll still end up being behind when the date actually arrives because that's just how it is.

9:05-9:15am I try to clean as quickly as I can because now Banner is late in getting down for his nap. We say goodnight to Daddy, turn off the lights as part of our nap time routine, and I'm wrestling him once more on the changing table before we start his noise machine and lullabies. I rock him for about a minute, and then he's reaching for his crib.

9:15-10:40am Banner naps. Sam leaves to go take my car for an oil change. I brush my teeth, take the cake out of the oven, and blog this post. It's very quiet. I am loving nap time!

10:40am I hear Banner in his crib. I see on the video monitor that he is standing up then sitting down. He lays down again. I give him a few moments before going to get him. Maybe, just maybe, he'll go back to sleep.  I decide to go ahead and get his bottle ready for when he does wake up. I stare at the cake on the cooling rack and wonder when I'll be able to experiment with the icing. As I walk back to the playroom to check the video monitor, I stare at all the toys strewn about on the floor, the laundry that is not put away (from last weekend!), and the itty bitty nail clippings that are on the coffee table now. I cannot stand the mess, and I have a friend coming over later. But, I'm too damn tired to do anything about it when 10 minutes from now, it will look the same freakin' way! Well, maybe I will clean up the nail clippings. That's just gross.

10:45-11:10am  I get lucky! Banner went back to sleep.  I get on Pinterest to remind myself what to do with the cake I'm going to experiment with later. I take a few moments in the kitchen to start my project icing the cake. Randi texts me to tell me she liked my post yesterday. I had her cracking up. She tells me if I stayed at home I'd want to have sex more often. Now I'm cracking up. Something to ponder...

11:15am Banner is officially up from his nap. I change his diaper. This time, it's much easier. I don't have to wrestle him. I get him out of pajamas and into his clothes for the day. I also put eczema lotion on his splotchy spots. It's flaring up again. :(

11:30-11:45 Feed Banner a 6.5 oz bottle. He seems hungry still and keeps grabbing for the empty bottle, so I go pour another 1.5 oz. I offer the bottle, and he won't take it. He just squeezes the nipple...yep, that's my boy, just wants to tweak a good nipple.

11:45 Sam comes home from getting the oil change. I show him what I've done so far on the cake. Then we discuss how we're going to manage to keep the icing from melting when it's scorching outside 6 weeks from now at Banner's birthday party at the park. In the meantime, I ask Sam to give Banner some lunch while I clean up the mess I made with the cake.

12:10 Sam is cleaning Banner up from his lunch - which is mostly on Banner's shirt sleeve. I ask Sam to change B's clothes while I go slap on some make-up, and throw some clothes on.

12:30 I met my goal - I'm ready to go when Sam is also heading out the door to go to a work meeting (yes, on a Saturday... I'm not pleased). Sam straps Banner in the car while I grab the diaper bag, my phone, my wallet from my purse which I only use on work days, and set the alarm. Sam is wrestling Banner to sit down. They are both frustrated. I'm somewhat thrilled that this is happening - I love when Sam gets to see what I'm dealing with all day without him around and why I can't stand when he's not here on days I had planned to be together (like when he goes to the lake with his dad or goes to play football with the guys). Yes, I'm thrilled this is happening. . . like the other night when Banner was throwing his food all over the floor while I ran to get a haircut. Sam was freaking out when I got home, and therefore, so was Banner. "He's throwing his food all over the floor!! I don't even know how much he's eaten!!" Sam stated wildly. "I know. That's what he does with me," I replied. "And he won't keep his freakin' bib on!" he snapped. "I know. That's what he does with me. I just leave it off," I said calmly. "And he rubs his food in his hair!" he said, obviously irritated. "Yep, that's what he does," I replied - - - Mission APPRECIATION accomplished! :) Thrilled.

Anyway, Banner and I head out to Office Depot and Buy Buy Baby for a few things that would take me too long to get during the work week, so I'm headed to get them now. Luckily, they are right next door to each other! Great plan or what?

12:50 We're at Office Depot. It takes me 2 seconds to locate what I need! YAY! Go to check out, and Banner is slobbering all over my car keys. I take them away before the cashier can see the string of drool falling to the floor. I throw the keys in with the bibs in the diaper bag, hoping they will absorb some of the saliva. I walk next door to Buy Buy Baby and strap Banner in the front of a cart. He's content while I get a few items. Then, I head over to the clothing section - we need shorts for this boy! It's too damn hot out there for all his winter/spring pants. We never had a winter - pisses me off for three reasons: 1. My hair needed a break from the humidity, 2. My allergies needed everything in nature to die for a short time, and 3. Banner's sweaters, sweats, and long sleeved things didn't last him very long!  So, here we are in the clothing section. Banner is pulling on all the tags he sees, then grabbing the clothes which have now come off hangers and puts the tags in his mouth. I fight him on a couple things, then decide, what the hell. . . you're technically supposed to wash the clothes before you dress your baby anyway, so I figure a little drool on someone else's clothing will come out in the wash, right?

1:15 After we check out, I buckle Banner back in the car and head home as I commend myself on great timing before B's second nap. It's all about the planning. I love when plans go well. I savor this rarity. On the drive home, I have an epiphany about how to keep the icing from melting... gotta remember to tell Sam about it later.

1:25 Back at home, and I offer Banner a few sips of water before getting him ready for bed. He drinks a few sips from a straw then spits out the water. The floor is wet, his shirt is wet, and my pants are wet. It's only water, it's fine. Time to get ready for nap. I sing to Banner while on the changing table... this doesn't work. I play my "Freeze" game with him where I move around and then freeze randomly while saying "freeze." He loves it, he laughs, he lets me diaper him for a minute, and I look like a freakin' idiot.

1:30pm Banner naps again. I blog more on this post, and I look around my house still a complete mess. I wonder what to eat for lunch. Instead of eating, I buy tickets for my friend and I to go see Titanic in 3D tomorrow afternoon. I'm excited I'll have some time with my friend and for Banner to spend some alone time with Sam! Sam calls around 2:45 to tell me he's on his way back from his meeting. He's stopping at my mom's on the way, though, to grab her paper cutter so we can work on our invitations for Banner's birthday party. I'm just enjoying the peace and quiet for a few moments. . . catching up on emails and paying a couple bills.

3:05pm Banner is sitting up in his bed. I go make another bottle. I play a round of peek-a-boo through the crib slats... we both LOVE this. Banner's giggles are priceless. Then, another diaper change... by now, you get the picture and know how that goes. Then, he eats about 2 ounces of his bottle. He's distracted by the toys around the room, mostly the remote control, and he wants to get down to play. He mostly walks around the coffee table for about 15 minutes or so, at which time I call Sam and ask where he is. He says he got side-tracked talking to my family at Mom's house. I know how easily this happens, so I don't give him crap, but come on already!

3:50pm I offer Banner the rest of his bottle, this time distracting him by letting him play with the remote control while eating. He finally finishes his bottle. Sam walks in slightly after 4:00. We say hello, and I hand him Banner so I can start cleaning a little. Banner and Sam go check the mail while I start the vacuum. They are gone long enough for me to vacuum 2 rooms. As I predicted, they stayed outside a while to visit with our neighbors across the street - a nice, old couple who idolize Sam.

4:30-5:00pm Sam and I put Banner in "the circle of neglect" that is the Exersaucer (thank you, Randi) while we clean the kitchen and dining room. We are resorting cabinets and drawers after having our kitchen remodeled a little (stay tuned for a post on that!). Banner is delightfully helpful by being patient and cooperative lounging in his circle.

5:00-5:20pm Sam talks on the phone while I start a load of Banner's laundry. (Saturdays are his days, Sundays are for Sam's and my laundry.) We have family play time in the den. We marvel at Banner's standing abilities. We try to entice him to walk to us. Our efforts fail, but we are still having fun, especially when Banner "dances" to the music on TV (thank you, Toddler Tunes!).

5:20pm Banner's diaper is really wet and needs a change. I have changed 100% of the diapers today, so I hand him off to Sam to let him experience the joy of the changing table. I head to the kitchen to figure out what Banner will eat for dinner.

5:30-5:55pm I get a text from my friend that she's not able to come over after all. Bummer! I was going to offer her some of the cake project! Sam and I eat a piece instead. :) I feed Banner. He doesn't like what I'm offering - a chicken, pasta, veggie combo... I was just giving it a shot, he hates pureed meat. He wipes his tongue off with each attempted bite and then finally stops opening his mouth altogether. I give him apple & mango rice combo, and he eats every bite. Sam warms up some veggies for him, and he does great with these before throwing them on the ground when he's done. I finally give him a few pieces of tortilla while "hiding" the chicken/veggie puree in the tortilla bites - he has his own mini "tacos!"

5:55-6:05 Sam cleans the dishes, I clean the boy and the floor and the high chair. I get a text message from my principal about the project I've been working on. Looks like I'll be working on this project again tonight or tomorrow.

6:05-6:40 I blog more on this post while Sam plays with Banner. He's rolling around with him on the den carpet while Banner holds the Wii remote and stares at it incessantly. He laughs with Sam and seems to like the rolling, but he's really into that Wii remote that eventually ends up hitting Sam in the face.

6:40-7:15pm Bath, bed routine. Final bottle, brush teeth, and goodnight. Banner passes out right away!

7:15pm Sam makes dinner while I fold laundry.

8:15pm After dinner, we clean, and then I work on Banner's invitations; Sam is in the garage on the rowing machine.

9:15pm Sam comes in to help me with the invitations. Sam gets lucky because I'm done!

9:30pm Just about time to go to sleep for the night. Maybe I can squeeze in a quick shower. I'm spent, but Sam wants me to be able to say again during this hour "Sam gets lucky." . . . We'll see. Lucky for ME, tomorrow's my day to sleep in!