My Extended Family

This is the speech I read to my colleagues earlier today when saying goodbye to the staff at BE (abbreviated for privacy). I was reluctant to share it at first because I know how much they were ready to just get out of the building and begin their summer breaks, but I had to have a bit of closure, and I'm glad I was able to share these thoughts with them. When I looked up (after being unable to really make eye contact while holding back tears), most of the faculty members had tears in their eyes. It was a a nice moment to end my time with such amazing people:

"As Banner fights sleep in his crib, I sit watching the baby monitor feeling so blessed that I have this little boy in my life. My heart is full, ready to burst open that I get to enjoy more time with him this summer and on. But, as the school year comes to an end, and I've said my good-byes to my counselor colleagues, my students, and many parents, I'm nostalgic for all the times I've spent with the staff members at this school. I want you all to know that leaving this team, this extended family of mine, is not easy.

BE has been a second home to me since I was in first grade here in Ms. Draper's class, although she was Ms. Moehle at the time. I had amazing teachers like Ms. Stamps, Ms. Griffin, Ms. Kenny, Ms. Young, Ms. Moore, Ms. Yonce, Ms. Dixon, Ms. Rice, and Ms. McDaniel. I was a peer helper in high school for Ms. Break, and Ms. Bolling was my tour guide on the day I interviewed for a teaching position. As a first year teacher, I was mentored by Ms. Tuthill, and later Ms. Thigpen and Ms. Myrick became my close friends and supporters through almost every aspect of my life since we started working together. Ms. Daly, Ms. Caplinger, and Ms. Pasch were like the big sisters I never had - and I so loved sharing my time with them across the hall. Then, I became a counselor, and everyone celebrated this new role with me, even if they were reluctant because I was young and inexperienced. Serving on ILT with Ms. Harker and Ms. Whitten was such a blessing too, as I learned how those benchmark scores really did give us some interesting data, and we learned together each year how to write a damn good CIP. Ms. Farrar and Ms. Low have been amazing principals, both believing in me and helping me meet my personal and professional goals. I could go on and on about all the people I have worked with throughout these past 8 years - the parents I won't forget, the students who have forever left their hand prints not only on our cafeteria walls but in each of our hearts. But, summer would be over before I even made a dent in that list.

I remember moving into my classroom 8 years ago feeling overwhelmed and scared. I was nervous for my first real professional job, and I didn't know anyone except my two former teachers who were at BE. Since those early days of being afraid to use the copier and not knowing what the hell a "sub-pop" meant, I have learned so much. This school and everyone in it taught me that I was capable, that I was professional, that I was actually good at what I have dreamed of doing all my life. I learned from so many amazing people while I have been here. I've learned to believe in myself and to teach others how to do the same. I've learned to be patient and calm even when I wanted to scream my head off. I've learned to stand up for what I know and feel even if it means a parent will argue with me. I've learned how to reach out for help, how to take one day at a time during those stressful weeks and months, how to solve complex problems with patience and discussion, and how school spirit goes a long, long way! I may have even learned things I hope to never use again like restraining a kid while he's biting me, taking ARD minutes that might end up in court, evacuating a school that has no running water, finding out who smeared poop all over the bathroom walls, running all over the school to find kids who are being picked up in the middle of a tornado warning, yelling at parents to move their cars during 3:00 dismissal because the fire trucks have to get in the driveway, calmly leaving a faculty party to get to the hospital as fast as I can, tolerating an "advocate" who believes beating the principal with a ruler counts as a seizure, knowing how to handle the news that my nephew was among the three kids who peed on a tree at recess, and/or hunting a school for a bomb.

While work is always work - and most days I wished it were still the weekend - walking into this building each day was like coming home. Summers and weekends flew by, and every morning I walked through those double doors or through the door to my classroom or office, the smell, the sights, the faces I would see, these were home to me, and I will miss so much of my life here. The feeling of knowing I helped a Kindergartener separate more comfortably from his mother, the feeling of hearing that a second grader has learned to tackle her anger issues, the feeling of knowing my lunch bunch group has helped a third grader deal with his parents' divorce, the feeling of knowing it's MY advice a fourth grader wants on how to handle her test anxiety, the feeling of helping to provide a fifth grader with his school supplies for the year since his family can't afford them, the feeling of connection I feel to that mourning first grader who depends on me to listen when he can't remember what his dad looked like anymore, or the feeling of knowing that each student is desperately awaiting my next guidance lesson to see what else Yello-Dyno is going to teach them this year about safety. . . those are just rewarding experiences I will miss. And, I will miss the camaraderie and friendships I have built through the years. I will miss reminiscing with my peers about former students we loved, I will miss the teachers' lounge conversations sharing everything from our favorite recipes to how our husbands annoyed the shit out of us the night before. I'll miss the deep ethical discussions we would sort through together. I will miss the many families who welcomed me in to their lives, who sought my guidance, or who shed tears in the quiet of my office. I will miss when former students would come back to visit - telling me how great junior high is or how they got accepted to their first choice college. I will miss watching the great improvement of some of our special education students. I will miss celebrating with their parents when we reflect upon how far they have come since those early days, and I will miss the feeling of watching a sixth grader finally graduate after 7 years in the shelter of this elementary school with a look of both accomplishment and of fear as he walks across the stage to shake his teachers' hands.

The truth is, the BE staff members make this place what it is - an extended, caring family for anyone who has the privilege of being here, a sorority of friends who support each other. We've cried together and jumped for joy together. You've watched as I went from my 20s to my 30s; you celebrated as I went from single to married; you nurtured me as Mom went through her second round of breast cancer; you shared my excitement when I announced my pregnancy; and then supported me as I started navigating my way into motherhood.  And, I will miss seeing these familiar, sweet faces each day.

But, I have all of these amazing memories to take with me, and all of these students, their families, and their spectacular teachers have helped to make me the person I am today. I believe these people and these experiences will make me a better mother to Banner, and I believe, too, that being Banner's mother and being at home with him will make me a better counselor when I decide to come back in a few years.  Yes, that's the plan: I'm not saying goodbye to my professional life altogether. I plan to return when Banner (and his siblings) are older.... maybe even to BE.


Until then, please call me to sub next year! In the meantime, I know you can't wait to get outta here and let your summer begin! You all deserve a restful, relaxing, LONG, slow summer. As for me, I will be here until Wednesday afternoon if you feel like hanging out and helping me pack!, and then, I'll be headed home to give Banner his big birthday gift - his Mommy."