Thank God for Playdates

Honestly, I started this post about a week and a half ago. I began writing about the joy of play dates shortly after my friend, L, hosted a St. Patrick's Day "Get Lucky!" play date for several moms and babies. My little "group" has hosted play dates for our kids since Banner was maybe 2 months old?, and it's been really great. This is what I had started last week:

"I really could end this blog post with only the title words... "Thank God for Playdates!" and that would sum up my feelings without much more detail and elaboration. But, for the fun of it, I'm going to explain how much I love, enjoy, cherish, and need these special times with other parents. Of course the main purpose of having a play date to begin with is simply for our young children to have social time with other kids their age. But, let's be really stinkin' honest and just recognize that the play dates we moms organize when our kids are infants are really for our own social time. I love that Banner is getting to be around other kids, and these times provide opportunities for him that are new, different, and fun - and I love watching him explore, interact, play in these different situations. He gets to experience new toys, new people, new environments, etc. But, I love my friends, the friendships I'm developing and reinventing, and the ideas and information I get when at these dates. Again, as I've written in previous posts, the happier I am, the happier Banner is!"

But then, something beyond awful happened. And, I am thankful for play dates in a whole new way. Yes, they are good for Banner. Yes, they are good for me. But, most importantly, they are amazing for building a bond between us moms that I could never explain to anyone else. At these play dates, we talk about our kids, our routines, our problems and solutions, and our great ideas for many different things for our kids. But, we also talk about our relationships with our husbands, our in-laws, our extended family. We become connected to each other and identify with each other on a level that I could never have imagined. These women are amazing, and because of their willingness to be honest and open, they are helping to create strong bonds of support and understanding with/for each other.

We've attended baby namings together, we've welcomed new moms to our group to help with those early rough times, we've counseled each other, and now we've mourned with each other. These play dates are creating life long bonds for us - and hopefully for our children - to know we can lean on each other in hard times and in great times. I will celebrate with these women, and I will cry with them. I will watch their children grow and learn, and I will hold their hands when hard times hit.

After tragedy hit one of  my "play date" friends, I was reminded that the honesty, acceptance, understanding, and genuine compassion we have for each other is alive and strong. My friend told me on the day of her husband's funeral that he appreciated us because anyone who was important to her was important to him. Her husband knew, just like my husband knows, that these play dates and the people I have met and "fallen in love with" during them are so important to helping us maintain our sanity in this big learning curve of a life change.  Now, more than ever, we will pull together to support my friend and her daughter. Our play dates will become even more important - for both her and her daughter. So, in thinking about all the joys Banner and I have gotten out of these play dates and the strong bonds we are all forming, I say even more so now than before, Thank God for Play Dates!