More Sukkot Shenanigans

2021

Mispronounce It Sukkah! We were honored to have the grandparents join us for our first night in the (very hot) sukkah this year! Completely designed by my boys, this sukkah features foods that were once (or continue to be) mispronounced. The boys still love to laugh at how they used to say these foods (farshfellows for marshmallows, lemolade for lemonade, oogoogles for noodles, lemanos for Milanos, Chi-fil-a, aminal, psgetti, cimmanin, N-a-Ms, canpakes, and so on). Blue tags are for #bannerboone’s mispronounced foods, burgundy for #quinnredding, and green for #knoxmorgan. We even ate on (Quinn’s) “wellow” plates! As Knox says, “Halleyulah!” It’s finally sukkah time!!

Toy Sukkah! Our nephews/cousins, Miles and Colby, and friend, Caitlyn’s, joined us in the sukkah tonight for a toy-themed dinner featuring Dominoes (pizza), Strawberry (Shortcake), corn (poppers), Potato (Head), Cabbage (Patch Doll), Pound (Puppy) Cake, and Cookie (Play) Dough on Lego plates. Hearts and bellies are full! Each year, we ask our guests to sign the sukkah. Miles got prime real estate on the top of the structure since he is so tall! We also loved comparing the shoe sizes of our kindergartner and our senior! 

Idiom Sukkah! Quinn came up with tonight’s theme months ago and didn’t need to butter me up to get his way!  He really used his noodle! I could just eat him up! We loved having Uncle Marc, Aunt Debbi, and Natalie break bread with us! We got to have our cake and eat it too while learning about these expressions. A cloud 9 cake, candy from a baby, bigger fish to fry, spilled beans, (not so) cold turkey, silver platters, and eggs in a basket were just a few items in our spread. Sorry if this is too cheesy, but I’m proud of my boy, and that’s just the way the cookie crumbles.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S. - The One in the Sukkah! It’s Thursday night… Friends Night… so of course we invited the friends I’ve had for decades to join us tonight! We missed a few who couldn’t make it, but what a fun night this was. I’ve been excited about this potluck idea since right after our Friends Reunion in June. We had lasagna, Rachel’s special trifle (with a layer of “meat sautéed with peas and onions”), mashed potatoes (3 different kinds because that’s how Monica does it), Joey’s “Mmmm, Noodle Soup,” Ross’s turkey sandwiches with the “moist maker” thanks to Gretchen, Nestle Toulouse cookies and Monica’s “special” salad thanks to Bari, Mama’s Little Bakery cheesecake thanks to Cherie, hot mockolate, and even drank “the fat!”

On the Map Potluck Sukkah! We invited our friends to bring a dish (or two or three) whose name represents a location. We had Texas chili, Israeli salad, Belgian waffles, Fuji apples, Lima beans, American salad with French, Italian, & Greek dressings, Oaxaca, Monterey, & Swiss cheeses, Kentucky fried chicken, New York cheesecake, and Baked Alaska. The kids wore shirts with locations too: Grand Cayman, Israel, New Mexico, Texas, and Memphis. The kids were playful (and loud), the conversation was deep, the weather was amazing, and the company was heartwarming!

“I arranged the menu, the venue, the seating” in our….. Wait for it… wait for it… Hamilton Sukkah! This is the sukkah “where it happens,” and “if you don’t know, now you know!” Sam grilled Aaron BURRgers, I cut up 3 Fundamental Fruits, cooked some (It Must Be) Rice, & made a “World Turned Upside Down” Cake, the Pierce crew brought Satisfried Chicken, and we set out some Guns & Chips, some “History Has Its Fries On You,” some Blow (Us All Away) Pops, and (I Am Not Throwing Away My) Shots. I can’t tell you “how the sausage gets made,” but the the only thing missing from our kosher sukkah was A.Ham. We loved watching the movie, singing along with the music, and chatting & playing together. “One last time”… Happy Sukkot!

And Another Year Makes 8! (Quinn's Newsletter)

Dear Quinn,

I can't speak for other moms, but I can tell you that for me, each night before my kids turn a different age, my heart breaks a little. I stared at you last night, soaking you in as a 7-year-old who I'll never see again. That 7-year-old will stay wrapped up inside you, tucked away from me and the outside world, and it hurts a little. Of course I want you to age and get to grow up and grow old, but saying goodbye to each age is painful for me. My job is to help you grow up and mature, to help you fly from this nest of a home, but at the same time I love having my young children around me, needing me, wanting me, laughing together, snuggling, cuddling, learning, and playing with me at these ages. I heard Glennon Doyle say on her podcast today that we raise our children to break out hearts, and that spoke very loudly and clearly to me on your 8th birthday today. 

Eight is when Daddy has his earliest memories (mine go way further back). Eight is when I remember losing teeth, making friends, riding my bike, going to swim parties, having sleepovers, all the things of being a kid! I'm excited for you to be eight. I'm just floored by how fast the years go. Especially with you, My Love. Geez, you're an amazing kid. You are an amazing human. You are just so phenomenal, such a mensch, such a punim. Everyone who knows you agrees, you are brilliant, caring, and deeply thoughtful. You're not perfect, but you certainly come close and strive to do your very best to please, to help, to learn, and to be positive. I so enjoy being your mom, Quinn. Let me tell you a little about you:

-You are so unbelievably smart. I could give you all the stats - your MAP scores, your spelling abilities, your fifth grade (maybe sixth by now?) reading level, your fluency rates - all the numbers. But, no one really needs to see or hear about those once they just listen to you talk. You are wise beyond your years and a true sponge of facts. You find similarities, parallels, ironies, connections... whatever you want to call them, and tell it like it is. Your vocabulary is expansive. I can't get enough of hearing your deepest thoughts. Your memory is long and accurate, and you come up with the most interesting ideas.

-All of the above, yet, you can't seem to get your shirt on the right way like... ever! I am constantly telling you to turn your shirt around. Several photos were posted on the GFC app this summer, and I could tell right away your shirt was on backwards, yet you had no idea and no one told you any different. 

-You have two expanders in your mouth right now. Dr. Gupta placed a second expander a month after you got your first one (which you got the day after you came home from a 10-day GFC experience). You never cried, never fussed or complained when your mouth was full of metal. The process to put those darn things in was frustrating and annoying, but again, you were patient and understanding. I watched the whole process, watching your face and holding your hand. I was in such awe of you in that orthodontist's chair. My little guy just tolerating the whole thing, then learning to speak, brush, and eat with all that metal taking up residence in there.

-You remind me of myself in that you want people to notice you and your talents, but you also don't want to be on stage or to have everyone looking at you. I was thoroughly surprised and pleased when I heard you participated in the Bonim talent night at GFC this summer. You performed some Fortnite dances to "Chug Jug with You" on stage. I was thrilled to hear (and see photos of) this. My favorite thing was when you let me record you lip-syncing "Popular" from Wicked. You can nail each expression, and when we said you might just be a great actor, you said you were too nervous to explore getting on stage. Definitely something I'd say. But, you also agreed to let us look into it, and I'm excited to see if this is something you like.

-In December, you asked to start seeing Ms. Kim to help you deal with some tummy and headaches. She helped you with some ways to cope with anxious feelings and handle your fear of spiders. You still don't like spiders, but at least you can say the word now!

-You had your first summer at GFC! 10 days away, and when I picked you up, you said you wished there had been about 5 more days. I was so pleased to hear how much you enjoyed your time. about the new foods you tried, how many new friends you made, and about the new memories you made.

-You had 27 weeks of first grade on Zoom, learning virtually with Ms. Guida last year. Emma was here to help you, your brothers, Graham, and George to learn some things. The great news is, with Emma, you were able to get faster paced, individual instruction; the bad news is, you are bored out of your mind in second grade so far. I'm hoping that changes during the coming weeks after your second grade teacher, Ms. Nance, does more assessment and realizes how advanced you are.

-You are a great friend. You give generously, go out of your way to help others, and bring all the fun and funny to a relationship. Graham, Case, Hailey, Bryson, Hunter, Sofia, Maddox, and your cousins are some of your most favorite people to hang out with.

-You love to eat. You eat quite slowly now that you have these expanders in, but you have a good old time trying new things. You enjoy: Earl Grey tea, steak, broccoli, s'mores, cheese, milk, popcorn, donuts and kolaches, turkey sandwiches, apples, & Ramen.

-We had your well-check with Dr. B, and here are your stats:
Weight: 59.2 pounds = 60th percentile
Height: 49.5 inches = 35th percentile
BMI: 16.98 = 75th percentile

You're doing great, Q!! We had your birthday party at one of your favorite places and your first choice birthday party venue: Crayola Experience. It was a good time to play and enjoy friends and family while trying to be cautious of stinkin' COVID-19 still. You are so in to reading, you wanted your theme to be books, so your cake was a book shape cake, and your party favors were bookworm masks. You got some fun presents and have been enjoying playing with new things, spending some money, riding a new hovercart, and playing new games. 

Quinn Redding, I hope you've had the happiest birthday, My Love. I love any day with you, but especially the days we get to celebrate you. You often get the short end of the stick as the middle kid, and while I never felt that way as a middle child, I see it clearly as your mom and hope we are doing everything in our power to make you NOT feel the short end either. But you do. You're not our first or our last do do something - graduate preschool, go to Kindergarten, lose teeth, get a big boy bed, etc; you're in the middle and your milestones often go unmentioned. You are well-behaved and listen the first time, unlike your brothers, so you don't get the negative attention they often do. We can count on you to do our favors (like run upstairs for something we forgot or help your brothers with something), you like to pretend to be the other parent - yelling at your brothers to listen or stop being selfish. We sometimes forget how young, how little you are because you are just so mature and wise for your age. We can do better for you, and trust me, we are trying. For those reasons, having a day that's YOURS, where you get a chance to shine and be the one to make all the choices, well, that makes my heart so happy.

You tell me often that your biggest fear is dying, that you think about it a lot. You told me this year that the line from Hamilton, "I imagine death so much it feels just like a memory" resonates with you and that's how you feel. Oh, my love. You are such an old soul and such a deep thinker. I hate that you worry about these things already. I wish I could take that fear away from you forever, but we often remember the words from Tuck Everlasting, when Tuck says, "Don't be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don't have to live forever, you just have to live." He means go out there and make the most out of your life. I want you to focus on the here and now, focus on all the amazing things you have going on in your world around you - your family, your friends, your school, your knowledge, your opportunities, your gifts inside you! You are such a special person, and I hope you always know how grateful I am that you are my son, that I am your mother, that we are in this life together - able to cuddle and talk, laugh and cry, love and grow together.

Good Gosh, I love you, Quinny.  I don't know if it's possible that I could love you more, and yet tomorrow, I will prove to myself that it is. And the day after that, and the day after that - my love will continue to grow for you. I wish you all the love in the world today and every day. Happy Eighth Birthday, My Love!

Love,

Mom

Last 7-year-old photo

Dinner at Nerdvana on 9/9

Snap Circuits from BeeBee & Zaide

Socks from Grandma & Papa - and another gift on the way later

Bouncy Planet Kit & Kinetic Sand from Big Boss

Book Cake!

With Bryson

With Graham

With Sofia

With Hailey

WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH, Q! 

Happy 8th Birthday!

Un-MASKING-believable!

Dear Banner, Quinn, and Knox,

I love you. I love you so much that I went and did something totally out of my comfort zone yesterday. I went and spoke at the school board meeting to voice my comments publicly about how important it is that the board require masks for all students and staff during this dangerous time of the COVID pandemic when a specific variant (delta) is surging. I was hoping Daddy would go and speak to follow up on the letter he wrote the school board last week. We all know he's the one who loves a good crowd to speak to. But, when his schedule wouldn't allow for him to attend an early Monday morning emergency board meeting, it took me no time to decide I'd do it instead. Usually, public commenters get three minutes to speak slowly and elaborately about their topic. But, with 90 commenters signed up an hour before the meeting started, we were limited to 1 minute. I knew this would be the case, so I planned my speech to be fast and furious. Y'all heard me many times Saturday and Sunday trying to whittle down my lengthy speech to only 60 seconds. Trying to decide what WASN'T important was super difficult. It's all important, and apparently necessary for people who are so ill-informed and selfish. 

I made myself take each step one at at time without getting too far ahead in my head. First wake up early (5:30 to be exact). Then, get ready. Then, get in the car and get there on time. Next, park and walk in. Fill out a public comment card. Wait. And, this is when things got tricky. The room began to fill with many unmasked grown-ups (and a couple handfuls of kids and babies). These people carried signs and posters that went against everything I understand, everything I believe, when it comes to COVID-19 spread and wearing masks. These people were mean and abusive to others. They yelled and confronted. One man sat behind me - a heavyset guy just heaving and hacking loudly. He made me so uncomfortable I moved away from him. Another unmasked man was quite disrespectful to the masked man next to me. "You have a gap in your mask. Air is getting in!" trying to rile him up. I wanted to tell the masked man with a hearing impairment to ignore the guy, that his words were meant to shame and upset him. I wanted to turn to the unmasked bully and say, "Well, at least his mask is better than yours!" But, I decided to stay out of that one. 

Even writing this to you boys makes my heart pound and adrenaline rush. I am just so angry at how this meeting was so hostile and toxic. Yet, I sat quietly while my anxiety increased and frustration grew. I sat and texted my friends, posted on FaceBook, sent photos to Daddy. But, when I heard a group of anti-masking ladies laugh saying that kids shouldn't be wearing masks and teachers can't teach in masks, I quickly leaned forward and rebutted, "Yes, they can. We've done it for a year, and it's not a problem." The ladies turned around, and I told them the teachers in my school have done an excellent job and it can totally be done. One curly-haired blonde woman said, "Well, kids can't hear the teachers in a mask. I'm a nurse, and my patients can't hear me!" I said, "Oh, it's really simple. They wear wireless microphones, they can even take them through the hallways and speak quietly but loudly enough for all kids to hear." She laughed, and said, "Right. I'm not using a microphone," in the most condescending tone. So, I said, "Well, I'm wearing a mask, and you can hear me just fine without a microphone. I'm not sure what the problem is." Then, a woman with long brown hair sitting next to her said, "I really admire what you do in the schools, but I'm not going to send my child to school in a mask," to which I replied, "Then don't. You have the option to homeschool or virtual school." She laughed and said, "No way. I did that last year, and my kids are NOT missing 8th and 4th grade." I said, "Well, mine aren't either." She said, "I know you feel passionately about your kids wearing a mask to school. I'm not against that. You have that choice. I feel just as passionately about my kids NOT wearing one." I appreciated her sincerity, but I was not letting up. "Then, perhaps we need to find a way to have all kids who want to mask in one class and all the kids who don't want to mask in another, because if your kids don't wear a mask, my kids are at risk." She said she agreed with that. The curly-haired nurse chimed in, "We have enough campuses to make certain schools mask schools and certain schools unmasked schools. Maybe that could work." I said, "Well, I'm glad we found something we agree on." They turned around, and a few minutes later, a woman wearing a mask sitting next to these ladies slowly reached back toward me from that front row and gave me a fist bump. We smiled. And yes, we could tell the other was smiling even with masks on. 

The long wait for the meeting to start and then a second long wait once the board recessed for a closed session was brutal. I couldn't help but wonder if I was putting myself in danger, in a Petri dish of COVID-infected people who never wear masks, shedding virus all over. But, I kept my N95 tight around my face and hoped it was doing its job. I couldn't help but think of you, my babies going to school each day, and especially Gan Izzy this summer, when the closest people around you don't wear a mask or respect the dangers of the virus. Yes, I believe and hope you will be just fine if you get COVID, but why do we need to tempt it? Why not put in place mitigating measures that can stop the spread to you and others? I felt anxious thinking I could get sick, and I really wanted to stop that feeling for you, my nephews, my nieces, their parents and grandparents, and my students. To even see people not wearing a mask in a crowded space (like a classroom) makes me so upset and judgmental, and I don't want you to feel that way. If everyone wears a mask, there's no judgment, shame, or blame. There's no division or groupings based on face coverings.

The long wait also brought conversations I could overhear and more signs for me to roll my eyes at. I wanted so badly to add to my speech, but I was cutting it so close to the 60 seconds already, I knew I shouldn't mess with it. But this caused me so much anxiety, because, damnit, if I was going to speak, I wanted to say EVERYTHING and use my time to affect change. But how do you do that with only one minute when there is so much misinformation and illogical arguments to dispel? 

Well, the meeting finally continued, and I spoke loud, clear, and fast. I was booed and yelled at while speaking, and when I went to the foyer after my turn to speak (as was procedure), I was booed by more people and given thumbs down. This actually made me encouraged. I had said JUST the things that made those people upset. And, now that it's over, there's still so much I wish I could have said! But, I'm also really proud of myself for taking some kind of action to make my voice heard. I would want you to do the same thing. Even when it's not the loudest voice, your voice matters. 

That's the thing. The people who showed up to this meeting were loud and angry. I wanted to show just the same amount of loud and angry. But, not enough of the people who agree with me showed up, and not enough of those voices are loud and angry. I want others to be loud and angry with me - because during a time of increasingly dangerous numbers of COVID which is affecting young people more and more, we cannot compromise on this. It is selfish and misguided to not listen to the physicians, scientists, and public health officials who are recommending, advising, pleading with us as a community to take precautions by wearing masks. As Uncle Brock said to me last night, "What's the point of having doctors if we don't even listen to them?" Some signs said, "I don't co-parent with strangers," trying to get the board to stay out of parental decisions when they believe they have "parental sovereignty." Yet, there is no parental sovereignty when those decisions affect others. And those same people co-parent all the time - with their child's doctors, teachers, pastors, community leaders who make decisions with or for parents all the time. Another weak argument I heard was that particles of COVID are smaller than the small holes in masks and could get through the mask. So, we should just give up on trying to keep them out?? It's like saying condoms are 99% effective, so just don't use one. Um, what? No. Boys, use a condom, even if it's "only" 99% effective. I do believe this lady unintentionally proved why we should use N95 masks more than any other mask, but what do I know?

Here's another weak argument: "Kids don't get that sick from COVID. Most often they do just fine with it." So, we should tempt that? It made me wonder if you ask these parents how they'd feel if THEIR child were one of the thousand who died. It doesn't matter until it affects them, and that is plain selfish. In the meantime, the virus strengthens, becoming more dangerous and spreading more easily.  Another lady went off about Nancy Pelosi for reasons I couldn't follow. One man talked about how his students get acne or get anxious about masks. And one lady spoke about how masks decrease oxygen, increase carbon dioxide, can actually cause sickness, and can impact intelligence. I wonder what she thinks about doctors who wear masks daily for lengthy surgeries. Are they dumber or less healthy? And, if so, perhaps doctors should have a choice to wear a mask at your next surgery. Oh, and one unmasked woman, while in line, was talking about how the pediatric ICU beds are at capacity because of RSV, not COVID. I was really struggling trying to understand why it matters. If a mask can help with THAT TOO, then why not wear one? 

The "science" presented was old and not representative of how the delta variant has made things much more dire for kids and families. The many (mainly white men) angry older people there don't even have kids (especially young kids) attending your school district. The theme of "choice" when their decisions affect others was so entitled and selfish. So many things were just so upsetting about this meeting. But the worst was the lack of both leadership and decisiveness we all got to witness when the board came back after yet another closed session. They determined that masks would be required (yay!), but any parent can opt out of them for any reason - no questions asked (wait, what?!). So, to quote Banner, "Then what's the point!?" My super smart kiddo, there isn't one. What good are rules and requirements if certain members of the community opt out of following them? You can't opt out of the attendance rules, dress code requirements, guns and weapons laws, and so many other globally accepted policies. Why should this be any different when the health and safety of the community is on the line? 

Daddy considers this a win. Well, I disagree. It's a hard no for me. Normally, I'd agree that if both parties, both sides leave an argument feeling that they got what they wanted then that's a good decision, a successful compromise. But, nope. Not on this one. You don't get to "opt out" of protecting the safety of others when your actions directly affect them. You don't get to selfishly declare that you have some reason you are better or more important than others, that what you WANT is more important than what the community NEEDS. 

To the health care workers who are bombarded with cases right now, I'm so sorry we didn't do better for you. To the teachers and school staff who shouldn't have to be in a building full of people who don't care about you or the people you go home to, I'm sorry. To the students who are trying to learn in a safe space and feel that everyone in your class cares whether or not you get sick, I'm sorry. To you, my boys, I will always be a voice that speaks on your behalf. I'm sorry this school district failed you and your classmates. Keep wearing your mask and be proud of how you take your health, safety, and that of others seriously. 

I'm sincerely hoping our district wakes the hell up and changes this opt out option. In the meantime, I'm having a really fun time coming up with allllll the things we can opt out of. 

I love you all with all my heart!
Mommy