Dear Quinn,
I can't speak for other moms, but I can tell you that for me, each night before my kids turn a different age, my heart breaks a little. I stared at you last night, soaking you in as a 7-year-old who I'll never see again. That 7-year-old will stay wrapped up inside you, tucked away from me and the outside world, and it hurts a little. Of course I want you to age and get to grow up and grow old, but saying goodbye to each age is painful for me. My job is to help you grow up and mature, to help you fly from this nest of a home, but at the same time I love having my young children around me, needing me, wanting me, laughing together, snuggling, cuddling, learning, and playing with me at these ages. I heard Glennon Doyle say on her podcast today that we raise our children to break out hearts, and that spoke very loudly and clearly to me on your 8th birthday today.
Eight is when Daddy has his earliest memories (mine go way further back). Eight is when I remember losing teeth, making friends, riding my bike, going to swim parties, having sleepovers, all the things of being a kid! I'm excited for you to be eight. I'm just floored by how fast the years go. Especially with you, My Love. Geez, you're an amazing kid. You are an amazing human. You are just so phenomenal, such a mensch, such a punim. Everyone who knows you agrees, you are brilliant, caring, and deeply thoughtful. You're not perfect, but you certainly come close and strive to do your very best to please, to help, to learn, and to be positive. I so enjoy being your mom, Quinn. Let me tell you a little about you:
-You are so unbelievably smart. I could give you all the stats - your MAP scores, your spelling abilities, your fifth grade (maybe sixth by now?) reading level, your fluency rates - all the numbers. But, no one really needs to see or hear about those once they just listen to you talk. You are wise beyond your years and a true sponge of facts. You find similarities, parallels, ironies, connections... whatever you want to call them, and tell it like it is. Your vocabulary is expansive. I can't get enough of hearing your deepest thoughts. Your memory is long and accurate, and you come up with the most interesting ideas.
-All of the above, yet, you can't seem to get your shirt on the right way like... ever! I am constantly telling you to turn your shirt around. Several photos were posted on the GFC app this summer, and I could tell right away your shirt was on backwards, yet you had no idea and no one told you any different.
-You have two expanders in your mouth right now. Dr. Gupta placed a second expander a month after you got your first one (which you got the day after you came home from a 10-day GFC experience). You never cried, never fussed or complained when your mouth was full of metal. The process to put those darn things in was frustrating and annoying, but again, you were patient and understanding. I watched the whole process, watching your face and holding your hand. I was in such awe of you in that orthodontist's chair. My little guy just tolerating the whole thing, then learning to speak, brush, and eat with all that metal taking up residence in there.
-You remind me of myself in that you want people to notice you and your talents, but you also don't want to be on stage or to have everyone looking at you. I was thoroughly surprised and pleased when I heard you participated in the Bonim talent night at GFC this summer. You performed some Fortnite dances to "Chug Jug with You" on stage. I was thrilled to hear (and see photos of) this. My favorite thing was when you let me record you lip-syncing "Popular" from Wicked. You can nail each expression, and when we said you might just be a great actor, you said you were too nervous to explore getting on stage. Definitely something I'd say. But, you also agreed to let us look into it, and I'm excited to see if this is something you like.
-In December, you asked to start seeing Ms. Kim to help you deal with some tummy and headaches. She helped you with some ways to cope with anxious feelings and handle your fear of spiders. You still don't like spiders, but at least you can say the word now!
-You had your first summer at GFC! 10 days away, and when I picked you up, you said you wished there had been about 5 more days. I was so pleased to hear how much you enjoyed your time. about the new foods you tried, how many new friends you made, and about the new memories you made.
-You had 27 weeks of first grade on Zoom, learning virtually with Ms. Guida last year. Emma was here to help you, your brothers, Graham, and George to learn some things. The great news is, with Emma, you were able to get faster paced, individual instruction; the bad news is, you are bored out of your mind in second grade so far. I'm hoping that changes during the coming weeks after your second grade teacher, Ms. Nance, does more assessment and realizes how advanced you are.
-You are a great friend. You give generously, go out of your way to help others, and bring all the fun and funny to a relationship. Graham, Case, Hailey, Bryson, Hunter, Sofia, Maddox, and your cousins are some of your most favorite people to hang out with.
-You love to eat. You eat quite slowly now that you have these expanders in, but you have a good old time trying new things. You enjoy: Earl Grey tea, steak, broccoli, s'mores, cheese, milk, popcorn, donuts and kolaches, turkey sandwiches, apples, & Ramen.
-We had your well-check with Dr. B, and here are your stats:
Weight: 59.2 pounds = 60th percentile
Height: 49.5 inches = 35th percentile
BMI: 16.98 = 75th percentile
You're doing great, Q!! We had your birthday party at one of your favorite places and your first choice birthday party venue: Crayola Experience. It was a good time to play and enjoy friends and family while trying to be cautious of stinkin' COVID-19 still. You are so in to reading, you wanted your theme to be books, so your cake was a book shape cake, and your party favors were bookworm masks. You got some fun presents and have been enjoying playing with new things, spending some money, riding a new hovercart, and playing new games.
Quinn Redding, I hope you've had the happiest birthday, My Love. I love any day with you, but especially the days we get to celebrate you. You often get the short end of the stick as the middle kid, and while I never felt that way as a middle child, I see it clearly as your mom and hope we are doing everything in our power to make you NOT feel the short end either. But you do. You're not our first or our last do do something - graduate preschool, go to Kindergarten, lose teeth, get a big boy bed, etc; you're in the middle and your milestones often go unmentioned. You are well-behaved and listen the first time, unlike your brothers, so you don't get the negative attention they often do. We can count on you to do our favors (like run upstairs for something we forgot or help your brothers with something), you like to pretend to be the other parent - yelling at your brothers to listen or stop being selfish. We sometimes forget how young, how little you are because you are just so mature and wise for your age. We can do better for you, and trust me, we are trying. For those reasons, having a day that's YOURS, where you get a chance to shine and be the one to make all the choices, well, that makes my heart so happy.
You tell me often that your biggest fear is dying, that you think about it a lot. You told me this year that the line from Hamilton, "I imagine death so much it feels just like a memory" resonates with you and that's how you feel. Oh, my love. You are such an old soul and such a deep thinker. I hate that you worry about these things already. I wish I could take that fear away from you forever, but we often remember the words from Tuck Everlasting, when Tuck says, "Don't be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don't have to live forever, you just have to live." He means go out there and make the most out of your life. I want you to focus on the here and now, focus on all the amazing things you have going on in your world around you - your family, your friends, your school, your knowledge, your opportunities, your gifts inside you! You are such a special person, and I hope you always know how grateful I am that you are my son, that I am your mother, that we are in this life together - able to cuddle and talk, laugh and cry, love and grow together.
Good Gosh, I love you, Quinny. I don't know if it's possible that I could love you more, and yet tomorrow, I will prove to myself that it is. And the day after that, and the day after that - my love will continue to grow for you. I wish you all the love in the world today and every day. Happy Eighth Birthday, My Love!
Love,
Mom
WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH, Q!
Happy 8th Birthday!
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