And Another Year Makes TWO: Knox

My sweet Knox,
Your birthday has come and gone, and you are officially TWO. I keep looking at you since your birthday, thinking how are you two already? You are definitely a big boy with big thoughts, big actions, big feelings, and a big body! You are growing so fast -getting taller and becoming quite the long boy! In fact just yesterday, we had your well-check with Dr. B, and you are in the 80th percentile for height. This doesn't surprise me, as you've always measured longer than average even in utero. I want to tell you so many things about you at this age that will fast-pass into distant memory long before we want it to. I keep wanting to freeze time and capture each sweet smell, touch, giggle, word, look. . . but it will fade from memory if I don't capture it now, and that's the whole point of this post, as you know by now.

So what are you up to now? I could go on and on here, but not much has changed since the 23-Month Newsletter, so I'll just hit the highlights:

-You have quite the vocabulary. It's always the first place I start recently because your list of words just grows and grows, as it should, at this point. The most notable things you say include: "Boys! Boys! Stop!" you yell so loudly whenever you are annoyed by your big brothers. "No! Mine!" isn't far behind. As is, "I WANT THAT." But, you also say wonderful things like, "More milk, please, Mommy. Thank you." (Sounds more like, "Mo milt peez, Mommy. Tane too.")

-You just love to run and hop and - skip even. You still adore My Gym and all the places we go to get that energy out.

-You know all your colors! You can count 1-10. You catch on to song lyrics very well. In fact, my favorite is when you sing lullabies with me. Our favorites are "Hush Little Baby," "Lullaby," "Twinkle, Twinkle," and of course, "Yah Yah" ("I'm Still Standing").

-You go pee on the potty. Still no poop, and I'm still not ready to potty train yet, but you are definitely proud of yourself when you go potty - usually right before bath or when you wake up.

-We're still not hearing those /x/ and /k/ sounds. So, you are still "Knot" or "Knos," and milk is still "milt," and dog is still "dot."

-You space out from time to time. This has become my only big worry for you right now. We mentioned it to Dr. B at your well-check, and he was also concerned. You are not "reachable" during these 20-40 second lapses. You don't respond to your name or to a touch or to me tapping food on your lips with a fork. I'm worried you're having petit mal seizures. They seem harmless, but what mom would be okay with her baby having seizures - great or small. We are watching you closely, and trying to document when they happen and for how long, and even trying to catch them on video. We've been told you would probably outgrow them, but still. . . not sure what's going on with this.

-You are shy at first and then warm up. You love to burrow your head into my neck or curl around my leg in a new place. And if you ever feel upset, you will "bottom lip it" and pout.

STATS:
-Weight: 28 pounds, 7 ounces = 70th percentile
-Height: 35.5 inches = 80th percentile
-Head: 48.5 cm = 55th percentile
-Developmental level - around 2 years, 5 months
-Size 5 diapers, 6 overnight
-2T clothes, size 8 shoe

Now, let's get on to the really fun stuff: CELEBRATING YOU! After one final one-year-old sleep, we woke you as a two-year-old when Daddy, Banner, Quinn, and I quietly walked into your room lightly singing "Happy Birthday to You." You were all smiles as balloons filled your crib and you bonked them out to us. Then, it was time for kolaches and donuts Daddy had run out to get early, early in the morning! We sang again, and this time you got to blow out your candle - with a "ffff" blow. Then, we headed up to school to celebrate your birthday with your class. You got to decorate your cake, and Quinn got to come join your class - and he loved being a part of that, back in his first classroom surrounded by your friends and with his arm around you the whole time! After your nap, you had a special visit from BeeBee who brought you a gift and a dozen small bundt cakes to enjoy - and to sing "Happy Birthday" for the fourth time! :) Later in the evening, we had an impromptu meeting with friends at Chuck E. Cheese. Amanda and the boys and Aunt Mischelle and the kids joined us to play games and eat pizza with you. The following day was...

PARTY TIME! I knew your theme for your second birthday party months and months ago: fish. In fact, I really wanted to have it at the aquarium, but we had too many people on our guest list to make that work. You just have always loved anything with fish - fish sticks, Goldfish, your fish projector, pointing out fish on any little thing! Nearly every night, for several months of the last year, you liked for me to sing the "Feeesh" song: "Boop, boop, dittum, dattum, wattam,  choo!" (I love how much you love this song - a song that has been sung for generations over in our family.) It's one reason we got you a fish for Hanukkah, and we had to name him FEESH so you could say it! Luckily, a fish theme is one easy party to throw! We had Swedish Fish, Goldfish, S'mores Goldfish, and blue jello "water" alongside a cheese goldfish surrounded by yummy grapes. The party favors were also easy: Bubbles, Goldfish snacks, more Swedish Fish, and a Fortune Fish. Finally, the venue was so much fun. We went to Play Date Co. for some fun with your cousins and a few classmates. It was nice to have the place to ourselves and for you to play with someone you knew at every turn!

I ended the day printing off your "I Believe," and reminiscing about the last year. I'm nostalgic for your babyhood and saddened by how fast these two years have sped by. I read off my memories to Daddy as we reflected on a year of such amazing growth that pleases us and reminds us of how very blessed we are to have such a happy, healthy boy. From our trip to San Antonio to our visits to the Little Elm beach, from our stay at Great Wolf to the GFC Family Retreat, from your shaky start to school to your ability for Daddy to just be able to drop you off in carpool, we have had such a fun year with you. You've continued to add so much to our family. Both of your brothers absolutely adore you, much to your irritation sometimes, as they kiss and hug you all over even when you clearly wish they'd leave you alone!

Knox Morgan, I wish you such a happy birthday! Thank you for being so happy-go-lucky, so fun, so easygoing, so full of joy and love. May this year be filled with more memories of love, laughter, joy, fun, learning, and health!

Love,
Mommy

Last bath as a one-year-old. You're "seeeping" (sleeping)

Last one-year-old photos

Shabbat with Hayla - dancing for your birthday 

"FFFFFFFFFFFF"

Fishy Cupcakes!

 

Grandma was in the hospital for an infection after her surgery last month. She was so bummed to miss out on the celebration!

FLASHBACK: 6-month check up compared to 2-year check-up!

23-Month Newsletter: Knox

Dear Knox,
This is the final letter I will write to you as a one-year-old. The next newsletter will be on your 2nd birthday, and man, are you so ready to be TWO! I just can't handle the passage of time moving so quickly. More and more, I go back and forth between wanting to strangle you and wanting to cuddle you.... as you are quite definitely becoming a temperamental two-year-old!! You definitely have a mind of your own and let us all know it. You get "MAD!" if we don't respond right away as you try to navigate the world and make your presence known in every setting: school, home, library, car, restaurants, etc. You want what's yours and sometimes what is everyone else's  - namely my phone or the iPad. Yep, you have entered the world of the screen, and you have quickly learned to rely on it for entertainment. Ugh, this drives me NUTS, but it's the world we live in . . . I just wish you weren't so addicted to it!

Okay, so what have you been up to this month? Well, I'll change this format up a bit and list 23 things I ADORE about you at 23-months old:

1. You have a pretty lengthy vocabulary! Your word list is ever increasing. My two favorites right now are "honeydew," and "applesauce." You say them so sweetly and perfectly!
2. You have very nice manners. You say "sa-ee" (sorry) and "peas" (please) and "tan-too" (thank you). Just tonight, you said, "Tan-too Mommy my poon," ("Thank you, Mommy, for my spoon.")
3. You don't say /k/ and /g/ still. It's still "milt" (milk) and "dot" (dog).
4. You say your own name: Knot (since you can't say the /k/ or /ks/ sound).
5. You love to cuddle and lay keppe on my shoulder. 
6. You hum with me or sing with me at bedtime.
7. You continue to be a dancing machine! You love the Just Dance app on our Apple TV and will ask for "dacine" (dancing) nearly every day.
8. While I hate that you get so upset, your angry face is just the cutest darn thing.
9. You adore Elmo and Cookie Monster. You also love Muno and Vampirina.
10. You love to jump and hop  - and love to tell us when you are doing so. "Watch! I jumpeen."
11. You have started the beginning of counting! "One. . .Feee... Fuuhh...Fiiiee..." I've heard you count 3-10 properly, but you haven't done it since that one time. When I ask you to do it again, you just smile at me, as if to say, "Yeah, right, lady! You wish!"
12. You are getting your colors! You know color names for sure - you just don't always match them correctly. You have known "ellow" for a while, but now you are trying to remember which is "bue," "geen," "wed," and I have no idea how to spell the word you say for orange (something like "george" maybe?!!). As of this evening, though, you were getting them all correct!
13. Your name for Grandma is now Dam-ma.
14. When you laugh, you say, "That's funny!" Oh, this just makes me smile thinking about how awesome that is to hear!
15. You chime in on various lyrics of pop music: Bad Blood, Thunder, Believer, On Top of the World . . . those are a few family faves around here. You love to hit those last notes of each sentence or verse with your brothers, and you are quite proud of yourself.
16. You really enjoy books, especially ones with animals so you can say their sounds or point to various animals you know. You have recently enjoyed a book you got for Hanukkah where we look for items on the page, and you like to spot the shoes or the socks or the car or the train....
17. You are quick with puzzles and seem to enjoy the challenge of doing them - matching pieces to their picture/space.
18. You have a love for your teachers at this point in the year that thrills me. I am delighted to see you give Ms. Valerie or Ms. Hani hugs before you leave the room. Just starting these past few weeks, we added an extra day at school, and I get to pick you up on that day! Seeing your connection to those teachers helps me feel at ease about you being there more often and away from the house. 
19. You're still in love with your My Gym classes - and we just started a new class since you aged out of the younger one. You are a bit feisty in that class, though - not wanting to share your space or equipment. You are quick to make a mad face and point at a "friend" who you don't want to play near you, and you spout out all kinds of gibberish at them in a mean tone. I told you - you are becoming two!
20. You love fish still - your new pet fish "Feesh," watching the fish on your projector, eating fish sticks, finding them on various objects (the soap dispenser, for example) or around wherever we are (swim school, for example). In fact, that is the theme of your upcoming birthday party! I think it's fitting and represents something you've been pretty drawn to all year.
21. The brother hug you guys give each other is quite possibly going to melt my heart completely into a puddle one night soon. The three of my boy joys with their arms locked around each other saying goodnight while laughing and hugging, it's a mama's high! I love seeing those boys tuck you in to little circle of love - my little squirt just standing there in your sleep sack next to those boys who tower over you.
22. The way you eat ice cream is both frustrating and cute. You just touch your tongue to it with a mouth wide open. You won't bite it or put the spoon in your mouth.
23. Just like Quinn used to do, when you get excited about us getting home or coming to pick you up, you immediately look for something to bring to us. Like you're shy and don't know what to do. But, pretty quickly you realize you don't have to do that - and you put it down and run into our arms with a great big smile on your face. Oh, I just love your hugs and your excitement, and that moment of being reunited with you! 

Knox Morgan, two years ago, I was uncomfortably pregnant with emerging complaints about my back, low pressure, heart palpitations that were triggered by Braxton Hicks, awful reflux, a rash, and leg cramps. I was feeling the most miserable I had ever felt while pregnant - not to be unexpected during a third pregnancy. I remember feeling like those last weeks were going to creep too slowly by and I couldn't imagine making it to your birthday in one (happy) piece! Fast forward to today, and I know this month is going to fly by, and I'm trying to soak it up - not speed it up! You bring our family so much joy, laughter, and love. So, even though you test those boundaries we keep trying to uphold, you can tug on me incessantly while I'm cooking dinner to the point that I can't even reach the stove, and I can't even look at my phone without you whining for it ("phona, phona, phooooona!"), I am going to embrace this final month of your second year. Happy 23 Months, my one-year old boy!

I love you so very much, Baby Love!

Love,

Mommy

Leaving swim lessons with your brothers- you LOVE to run. . .
it makes me super nervous that you won't stop at the end!

Ready to get in the bath - so strong pushing up by yourself

At Sesame Street Live! You LOVED it!

Sitting with the big boys at Brycen's 6th birthday party

Broom ball at Levi & Luca's birthday party

Easy Bake Oven-ing with the big boys

22-Month Newsletter: Knox

Dear Knox,
The wheels of time have decided to keep turning - and faster than I believe they have ever turned before. Only 2 months left before you turn 2, and I am just not okay with that. You are racing with glee to that second birthday of yours, and as I start to plan a celebration for that day, I am dragging my feet in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, it will take its sweet time in getting here. Obviously, I want you to turn two eventually. I do. There's nothing more bittersweet than a mother getting to watch her children age. I want to freeze you in this time, at this age, yet I wouldn't want to forego the opportunity to see you continue to meet milestone after milestone, to get to know the personality you have that reveals itself more and more each day, to celebrate your health and happiness with each passing month. And truly, your gains in maturity and development just amaze me and everyone around you.

So, what have you been up to this month?

-You are a jumper! You love to hop and jump everywhere and off anything you feel safe on (which I know will quickly change, as I've seen you experiment with taller spaces at My Gym recently).

-You are speaking in sentences much of the time: "Hold on, Mommy!" "No, no more Elmo." "Hey! That's miiiiine!""I want deidle (dreidel).""Mommy, no night-night. I want pay (play)."

-During this week of Hanukkah, every time we light the menorah, you say, "Happy Birthday?" (Although it sounds more like, "Hah bir-day?" and I LOVE it!) You have tried to blow out the candles, too.

-You can't say your /k/ and /g/ sounds yet, so you substitute /t/, or the sound is eliminated or changed in another way: Quinn is "Winn," milk is "milt," book is "boot," car is "beep."

-You're getting really good at identifying animals and sounds. "Moo" is by far your favorite. You also know the color yellow ("yewwow"), and you're starting to get red and blue.

-You enjoy trying to work puzzles, playing with cars and trucks and ramps/garage toys that you can zoom cars down, riding the Batmobile ride-on, playing with trains and tracks, Coco just this month) and enjoy anything you can "watch, watch."

looking at books, dancing, noshing, and whining when you don't have our attention. You also can't STAND to be told no to my phone (or what you call my "hewwow" (as in "hello")) or to have the iPad taken away from you. Just like your eldest brother, you are addicted to a screen. You've already been to your share of movies in the theater (

-No one would know this unless they spend a lot of time with you, but you say "thank you" EVERY time it's appropriate. No one would know because you say it like this, "Muh." I used to think you were saying "more," but I finally figured out you were telling me thank you. "Muh, Mommy!" as you walk away from me with a bowl of pretzels. "Muh, Mommy," when I put a show on for you. "Muh, Mommy!" when I help you put two Legos together for you. "Muh, Mommy, when I fix something you can't." It's so sweet and definitely a favorite thing about you at this age.

-You are so in love with your big brothers. You adore "B" and "Winn." My favorite was one day when you were in the car with me picking up Quinn early from school. My friend brought Quinn to the car for me, and as he got in you excitedly said, "HI, WINN!" You help me get their attention if they don't hear me. "B! B!! Mommy! B!!!!" as if to say, "Hey, you, she's talking to YOU!" You copy ANYTHING they do, which can be rather horrible at times. If they scream, you do. If they laugh, you laugh. You watch them closely!

-You like to pee-pee on the potty before bath and a few other times throughout the day if I ask you. I'm not in ANY way, shape, or form ready to potty train right now, but I love that you know how to use the toilet.

-You tell us when to "stop!" You tell us when to "hum on!" (Come on!) You tell us when to "Hold on!" You tell us "NOOOOOOO!!" when you're really angry. You tell us when something is "EWWWW, yuck!" You have quite the personality!

-We have continued My Gym classes. You are ready to move up to the next level class - which is good as you are definitely outgrowing our current age group. Those 14-month-old babies just can't keep up with you - talking and running and jumping everywhere. You still stifle a smile when our gym teachers are nearby - whether they tickle you or sneak up on you or swing you --- you just purse your lips together and try so hard not to let that smile sneak out. It's obvious you're trying to hide it. Our little stoic baby!

-You like to hum with me at bedtime. I usually sing Lullaby, and you enjoy humming along, sometimes a little too forcefully and silly. Recently, you request "Baby," which is your way of telling me you want me to sing "Hush Little Baby." The funny thing is that when I would try to sing this to Banner as a baby, he would immediately get emotional, and even as a toddler/preschooler, he would ask me to turn it off because it made him sad. That song became so off limits that I never even tried to introduce Quinn to it, as it affected Banner so much. With you, I still half-expect you to start telling me "No" when I sing to you. But instead, you request it over and over again. I like that we have our songs - special for just you.

Knox Morgan, my most favorite things about you are your willingness to cuddle with me, your sweet hugs, your kisses, your love of books and playing, your adoration for your brothers, and your desire to learn and talk! You definitely have your strong opinions and desires, and you let those be known loud and clear! But, you are also pretty easily appeased with some love, hugs, and attention. You still like for me to hum in your hear when you are upset, and that usually calms you. Banner even helped calm you tonight by gently singing in your ear "ABCs" until you stopped crying. We all have kind of learned what really gets you upset and what really helps calm you. We know what makes you laugh and smile. Months after starting school and having a short-lived rough time adjusting, we are adding a third day to your weekly schedule, and I'm so excited for you! I know you'll miss those mornings at Grandma's, but you're ready for more time with your friends and your teachers. (And Grandma will still pick you up once a week!)

With each passing day, we are getting closer to that 2nd birthday. Let's take it nice and slow, shall we? Let's live in the moment and not race for February 16th so quickly. It will get here, and it will get here faster than I'd like. So, let's just cuddle and hold each other and not let go for a couple months.

I love you so much, Baby Love!
Happy 22-Months!
Love,
Mommy

21-Month Newsletter: Knox

Dear Knox,
Happy 21-Months little boy! Oh, where to start?!? You've been sick the last week or so - mostly a nasty cough that seemed to be getting worse and a constantly runny nose, so this post is somewhat late because of the stress coming with that - trying to make up for time missed at work to take you to the doctor (a 2 hour ordeal I'll explain further down) and trying to get as much rest as we could when we weren't sure what our nights would look like while trying to sleep train your big brothers (who were mostly the ones keeping us up, not you!). So, I apologize for the tardiness of this post, but better late than never, right? I have so much to say about you at this age, so let me just get on with that already!

What have you been up to this month?

-You said goodbye to the high chair! We still have it available, but more often than not now, you want to sit in your booster with the big boys at the big table. I have to say, it makes clean up easier actually.  You're going to throw out most of your food anyway - and you're required to pick that up. And, since I'm already having to clean the table from your brothers, getting rid of one more item (your high chair and tray) is actually speedier for me. I will say, though, no matter where you are seated, you don't like to stay there long. You eat what you want and are "ah done" pretty quickly. This is very frustrating at restaurants.

-We celebrated Halloween this month; you were the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. We also went to YesterLand Farm for your second visit. Lots of fun!

-You have become addicted to my phone. This is my own doing, and I tried as long as I could to avoid losing you to the screen, but it helped me keep you calm during B & Q's swim lessons, helps speed a long wait in the doctor's office, or settles you when I'm trying to cook dinner and you are whiny from hunger and fatigue that late in the day. So, I've leaned on it to help me out a bit, but now you are obsessed.

-You're also obsessed with Michael Jackson's "Bad" videos and song (yes, videos- the kid version, the long version, the short version, the "making of" versions, the Despicable Me 3 version)... and hence another reason you are addicted to my phone - to hear "Baaah" any time you can. "I wah Bah, I wah Bah." You're even starting to sing along.

-We took you on another hotel stay - just last night actually! We went to Great Wolf Lodge and had a blast! You did awesome - staying up late, sleeping in the Pack 'n Play (that is getting too small for you!), and playing in the water park. Several moments made my "Favorite Memories" list, including floating you down the lazy river while just holding your head. You were so relaxed and enjoying the water.

-You are officially facing forward in your carseat. We switched you a few weeks ago, as you were getting too tall for rear-facing to be comfortable.

-Popular phrases we hear from you: "Mine!" "No!" "Eat" "Watch!" "Moooooommmmyyy!"  "I want that." You also have a vast vocabulary and are putting two words together often. We hear sentences from time to time, too. At the sick visit you just had, Dr. W was very impressed with your words and your ability to make sentences. "Wow! At 20-months, that's impressive!!" I was just glad she was able to understand you!

-You hopped with both feet off the ground for the first time this month. You've been working on this, and Daddy and I both saw it happen and shared your excitement. We can't wait for more "hop hop."

-You have decided to carry on the torch of initiation for cousins. Your 5-month-old cousin, Damon, is not safe around you any longer, as you threaten to launch any toy in his direction when you are around him. You hit him over the head with a magnetic/metal ball last week, and while he was perfectly fine, it officially made me nervous to have you around him. Being hit over the head by a cousin is a rite of passage in this family, so you fit right in. But, I hope that was the last of it. Unfortunately, for your brothers, you are still a force to be reckoned with. Last week, the three of you were taking a quick shower together, and when Banner was rinsing his hair, you hit him in the face, and then Quinn. We tell you "NO!" and then, you tell us "NO!"

-You love to pour . . . water out of the bathtub, milk out of your cup, bubble soap out of the bottle, Danimals out onto the floor. Pretty much any liquid is fair game for you to experiment with.

-After a regular cold seemed to get better and then worse, I took you to the doctor, and now we are back to regular breathing treatments to help clear your cough and keep your lungs healthy. Your pulse Ox was lower than Dr. W would like to see it at, so we did a breathing treatment in the office and then rechecked you. Luckily, you were improved afterward, so the thinking is that apparently, when you get sick - for up to 3 years after your RSV experience - your body can trigger some of "secondary RSV" symptoms. I'm not sure I'm explaining or even understanding that correctly, but needless to say, we are back to managing your breathing and hoping you feel better soon!

-You've been doing much better at school! In fact, you just had your first "performance" showing off your Thanksgiving shirt, hat, and song for us on Friday. You did awesome. I was anxious you would just cry on stage, but you didn't! You had a very serious look on your face the whole time, and right at the end, you spotted me and Daddy, BeeBee, Grandma, and Aunt Mischelle in the crowd and then gave a super-big smile!!  It was awesome! Then, they led you off stage, and it took me a minute to get to you, and that bottom lip was already puffed out so far as you looked all over for me! Sweet boy! Made my heart hurt that you were so worried. But, you are making friends at school, eating well there, and playing with toys! I'm hearing good things! (And your conference is tomorrow, so I'll learn even more!)

-Perhaps my very favorite new thing this month is your hugs to your brothers. You give great ones to me and Daddy, yes, those too. But, these "brother hugs" are the best! You like to give each brother a hug before you say "Nigh Nigh" for the evening, and then the three of you give one big hug to each other. I'm left out, and that's totally okay - because I get to watch you three just giggle and love each other - and usually fall over on each other.

Knox Morgan, being your mama is the best! You are whiny and demanding and needy a lot of the time right now; you're supposed to be. But, you are such a funny, sweet, gentle (most of the time) boy who is learning so much so fast - and I am so grateful to be in the front row to watch it all happen. I do not take that for granted. As I watched you "jump" over the waves in the wave pool this morning, I couldn't help my smile and the thoughts of "Thank God I get to be here to see all these fun moments." Time is passing so quickly, and as always, I want to bottle you up and freeze you just as you are. But I also want to see the person you are going to grow up to be. Just take your time, Baby Love!

I love you more than you could ever imagine!
Happy 21-Months!
Love,
Mommy

First Ride - YesterLand Farm 11/11/17

Enjoying YesterLand Farm 11/11/17

Listening intently at My Gym

Mara's Volleyball Game

We gave you bananas with a side of chocolate. You ate chocolate. 

Dear Leslie (6)

Dear Leslie,
I'm a day late in posting this, but I have a feeling you'll forgive me. I know you get it - life with three busy kiddos is crazy insane, and it leaves little time for reflection and writing. However, not a day goes by that I don't think of you in some way - whether it's a little glimpse of you in Quinn's eyebrows or sharing a funny story with the boys about you or perhaps identifying with last night's This is Us monologue as the character described how every beautiful moment stings with a bit of pain as we can't share it with you. I know Sam and I both thought of you - and how you've missed so many beautiful moments - so many moments we wish you could have seen, been a part of, or rejoiced with us. The birth of 2 more grandsons, the marriage of your daughter, the new house, the growth of Sam's law firm, the Kindergarten graduations and the school performances, the soccer goals, the touchdowns, the first places, the Halloween pictures and the New Year's celebrations ... the list goes on. So, yes, we've been busy. But we are never too busy to think about how much you are still a big part of our lives.

Mostly, my thoughts of you center around my kids, of course. How you'd laugh at the way Knox babbles. You'd probably be copying him and giggling. I can just hear it in my head as I write this. That laugh of yours. You'd still be whispering to each boy that he was your best friend. You and Quinn would get along so well - he would love to cuddle with you and watch movies, and you would marvel at his sweetness and creativity. You and Banner would probably butt heads, but he would so delight you and amaze you at just how damn smart he is. Those boys would think you were silly, loving, and kind. I can see it so clearly in my head as if it were a truth, a reality. That's the gift and the curse, I suppose.

And, Sam. You would be ever-impressed at his newest endeavor. He's running for Congress! I mean, how amazing is that!?! I know you'd be proud of him - following his dream of running for public office, taking a leadership position where he can make a huge difference and impact on so many people! You would totally believe it, and you would spend most every day texting, emailing, and FaceBooking your family and friends - asking for donations for him, asking everyone to pass the news along, getting him votes and support and volunteers. You'd probably annoy everyone at how often you'd keep emailing them! But, it would all be out of pride and love for your only son. You'd know that he was feeling torn between his family and his love of country and standing up for what is right. Yet, you'd know that the passionate kid inside of him, the boy you raised who wouldn't give up no matter what, couldn't be talked out of this decision to be a loud voice in this time of chaos in our country.

This letter would be incomplete if I didn't include one big issue that began with that chaos. The way we see it, our world got flipped upside down when citizens across the nation seemed to identify with negative messages a presidential candidate was spewing. We didn't care that one specific candidate didn't win... what we cared about was that so many people were buying the garbage being sold by the other. Unfortunately, in the process of people trying to make their decisions about who to vote for or to vent their frustrations with the candidates, harsh words were spoken and families and friends were saying awful things to one another. In a string of (perhaps misunderstood) events and heated debates, well-meaning passion turned into severed ties, and now we are one of the statistics of families who don't interact with certain family members. You'd be saddened and frustrated to know that we haven't seen a couple family members in nearly a year now, and we have been asked not to include them at birthday parties and family events, as they feel we owe an apology for something. I'm honesty not sure what that apology should be - especially if it's seemingly only owed on our side of this conflict. There's much more to the story, but I have a feeling you know the truth and what's been going on. And, if you do know that truth, you are saddened, fearful, and terribly angry. Of that, I have no doubt.  You raised some stubborn kiddos, Leslie, and neither side is budging on this one.

With that exception, things are mostly wonderful in our busy lives. We are busy with raising little men around here, and through it all, Sam and I keep each other quite happy. There's a photo that sits on my bathroom counter and stares at me every morning as I do my hair or make-up and every evening as I get myself ready for bed. It's the photo taken as Sam and I were leaving our wedding, rose petals up in the air, giant smiles on our faces, and a crowd of loved ones around us. And, quite clearly, you are in the background. I can unfreeze that moment in my mind, and you are brought back to life, carrying my wedding shoes out of the hotel, finding your place in the crowd to wave us goodbye, feeling like you'd "been in a movie." Just like in the photo, you are here with us still - frozen quite clearly in the background but with a smile on your face, carrying us, in the minds of everyone who loved you, and seeing us on our way. There may have been an unexpected and painful goodbye, but you've never really left, and there are days I expect you to just walk in the door. Well, I suppose you do, though. In your own way, you do. You show up, and your presence is felt.

I'll end with this promise, again. I promise you I'm keeping your little boy in line. I'm here for him, I support him, and I encourage him. I promise we make each other happy, and we love each other so much. I promise to take great care of your grand babies, too. I promise to keep your memories alive and well and to pass on so many of your stories and wisdom. I promise to make each day a beautiful day.

Missing you always,
Amber

To 80% of Drivers in My Area

Dear Driver,
I typically use this blog space to write about my children and document their formative years. However, that's not how this blog started. Its original purpose was to have a space to yell at the world, to vent my feelings and frustrations with wedding planning, to comment quite bluntly on society as I saw it, and to clear my head during a time of change in my life. I'm feeling the need to return to that original purpose - for at least a good few minutes on my soapbox before I step back into posting about recipes, my children's development, and the joys and tribulations of being the wife of a Congressional candidate. I promise I don't harbor anger or walk around as a judgmental narcissist, but I need to let off some steam aimed directly at about 80% of drivers in my neighborhood and surrounding areas. Okay... deep breath.... here goes nothing.

YOU ARE A HORRIBLE DRIVER! Yes, it's true I grew up as a passenger in my father's car about 30% of my childhood. I was subject to his irate road rage as he called fellow drivers decorative names like "idiot," "moron," "crazy woman driver," or "pig."  He weaved in and out of drivers who were in his way, and he laid on the horn or gave "the finger" far too many times. I will say, though, he was always safe, and he typically had good reason to be flying down the road, as he was usually on his way to the hospital to help a laboring patient deliver her baby. So, there's that disclaimer - that I'm coming to you in a state of learned rage and arrogance. But, you are. You really are a horrible driver. Let's review some of your most frustrating infractions:

-You are the first car at the intersection. You sit idly at a red light in the right turn lane, wanting to turn right, with no oncoming traffic, holding up the line. Unless otherwise posted, you should know, YOU CAN TURN RIGHT ON RED IN TEXAS. Go, buddy. Make that turn, and let us all move on.

-You are the first car at the intersection. You sit idly at a red light in the right turn lane, NOT wanting to turn right. This is rude. Get out of my lane. I want to turn right, and you are preventing me from doing so - and everyone else behind me, too. I'm trying to get to work, and your lack of consideration for taking up my front row space in a lane I could be turning in is unnerving.

-This one is a doozy, so hang in there with me as I try to describe this frustrating misdeed. You're pulling up to a four-way stop. Although yes, this is a lane meant for one car, it is an extremely wide lane in the middle of a quiet neighborhood, quite capable of fitting two cars side by side. There is plenty of space and even a natural separation - a straight line of tar perfectly positioned, to divide this lane in half. You take up the middle of the lane. Worse than that, you drive in the middle of the lane, when there are clearly cars behind you (and in front of you) that have intelligently, cooperatively, and creatively made the typical one lane into two so that cars turning right can move on and not make school drop-off take unnecessarily ridiculous amounts of time. You're doing it again at the intersection where I want to turn right, and you want to turn left, and you don't leave enough room for me to turn while you wait for oncoming traffic on the right to dissipate. I've created a graphic to help you get this one. It's just so obvious to me, so I want to make it obvious to you. The RED curved rectangle represents YOUR car. (If you're colorblind like my husband, it's the bottom-most car on this graphic.) Notice anything just a bit off from what everyone else is doing to help keep traffic going?

(Also notice that two cars are entering the intersection at the same time. When they won't interfere with each other's pathway, that is perfectly safe to do. You should try it, too. The bottom right green car could also be moving along, as well, since there is no oncoming traffic. And, one of the other cars going straight could proceed as well. See? Teamwork. Safety. Cooperation. Progress. Movement. Satisfaction.)

-You idle in the left turn lane while the green light tells you you can make a turn when it's safe. But you don't turn. You can't see around the left-turners across the street, who can't see around you either. You could move up, edge out just a little so you can pivot your car a teensy-weensy bit and get out of their way - heck, so you can get out of MY way. Then, the light turns to a red arrow. We are stuck here. For whatever reason, the next signal isn't a green arrow. No, that would be too easy. A green light comes back in front of us, again, telling you to yield and be wary of oncoming traffic, but it's also okay to turn when it's safe. Yet again, you don't edge up to see more clearly around the cars across the street in their own left turn lane. We are still sitting here. If you would move the __ up, you could move on, see that there are no cars coming, you are perfectly safe to go - and so could I - and the car behind me, and the car behind him!

-When I put my blinker on to move over to your lane, that doesn't mean you should speed up and prevent me from doing so. That means I'd like to get over when I can. Perhaps you can wave me over, slow just a tad or even continue at your present speed. With your help, we can both keep moving where we'd like. I promise... my desire to get in your lane is not to forever impede your ability to get to your destination.

-You don't wave when I'm courteous. But, I'm okay with that disrespect when you don't deserve the courtesy. I'm a big girl and can handle that. What I'm not okay with is that you don't wave when you cut me off or take advantage of my courtesy to the driver in front of you who you tailgated just so you could inch into my lane as I'm driving in the prison of cars at rush hour trying to get my kids to swim lessons on time. You don't say sorry, say thank you, or make any kind of eye contact. You can't face me, because you know what you did was wrong. But, own it!

-You see that I'm trying to turn onto the street you are currently driving along - maybe from a shopping center, maybe from my street into the carpool lane. You are perfectly still, waiting in the traffic. You avoid eye contact, even though I'm trying to get your attention to ask permission to ease into your lane while we wait for traffic to move again. You have no desire to let me in. You start inching forward, and when traffic begins to move again, you just drive ahead with no regard for sharing the road.

-You block the intersection I'm trying to get across. You see the car in the lane next to you has politely stayed back quite a distance from the car in front of him, but you don't take the hint. You are either oblivious to those around you, or you could care less for the people who are trying to move on with their day.

-You pull into the two-lane intersection trying to cut across to the lane where you can turn left. However, the left turn traffic is backed up and not moving. So, now you are just blocking the right turn lane and everyone who wants to utilize it - even when the light is red, because although you can't go, I COULD. We can turn right on red in Texas, remember? But not today. No, sir. Your car is just hanging out in my way. You don't wave and say you're sorry or --- better idea --- back the  __ up back from whence you came when you realize your infraction.

-It's morning rush hour. The left turn lane is slow going, and you are about 6 cars from the front. I'm right behind you. I see you putting on your make-up. I see you looking at yourself in the mirror with your eyelash curler. I see you look at your phone a couple times. But, now the line has moved, and this green arrow won't last forever. I'd REALLY like it if you could pay some ___ing attention and close that ever-growing gap between you and the car long ahead of you so we could both make the light, and perhaps all the people behind us could have a chance at doing so, too. Because what REALLY ticks me off is when you make the light and I don't - because you were selfish and put your make-up routine ahead of my time.

-You give in to that itching curiosity and significantly lower your speed to observe an accident. What's worse? The accident is on the other side of the highway. Our direction of traffic should not be impacted at all by this accident, but here you are, slowing miles of road behind us because you saw some flashing lights ahead. Of course - we care about the well-being of the motorists involved. We want to know what took so long and how bad the accident is. But, really?! Do we really need to come to a near-stop and take notes? Please give those unfortunate victims their privacy and DRIVE!!

-There is a school bus driving in the opposite direction we are. The school bus stops, and the arm holding a stop sign is extended, and the bus's alternating red lights begin to flash. The cars behind the bus stop, as they should, for the children to exit the bus. Because there is a raised median separating us from that bus and those children, you don't have to stop. But, alas, you do not know school bus safety laws, so you think we have to sit there watching until the bus moves on. We don't. At least not in our state. In fact, just to prove I'm right, I am going to show you the Texas Department of Public Safety's website statement: "...if the lanes are separated by an intervening space or physical barrier, only motorists going in the same direction as the bus are required to stop." Just sayin. Keep moving.

Now, I know you don't care that I'm in a hurry to pick up my child from school on time or that I've got a child screaming because he dropped his water cup and all hell is breaking loose in the backseat or that I've got a drifting toddler just minutes before nap time who I need to get to his crib before he falls asleep - therefore completely ruining his afternoon (and more importantly, MINE!) or that I stayed too long at home helping my son when he had diarrhea before school and now I'm late for work and am already going to be late for a meeting. None of these things are your problem. I get it. But, can't you just "help a mother out?" Why must you drive like you are on a damn Sunday afternoon stroll down the lane when you are on a highway with people trying to get to where they are needed?

I also realize that none of these offenses are really "illegal," but they certainly aren't very courteous. Let's just apply some typical manners, rules of ettiequte, and common decency to our driving. You need to share the road. You need to take turns. You need to thank people when they allow you into their space. You need to pay attention to what everyone else is doing. You need to watch where you're going. You need to realize you aren't the only one here, and there are innovative and fantastic ways we could all help each other out.

In his book, Choosing Civility: The Twenty-Five Rules of Considerate Conduct, P.M. Forni outlines basic rules for connecting happily with others. Rule number is PAY ATTENTION. If you pay attention, you can choose to see the situation others may be in. This is imperative when on the road and cooperating as civilized drivers. I can't help but think of this rule when I experience so many of these thoughtless actions I encounter nearly every day in my car. I use your misconduct as a way of teaching my own children how to interact with others. They see me get angry on the road, sure. I don't shout at you like my father probably would. I don't (usually) give you "the finger." But, I do use your lack of consideration as a teaching tool for my babies who are watching me handle you, and for trying to teach them about how you should pay better attention to those of us around you who are stuck behind you and cannot proceed with getting to our destination in a more timely manner.

I will add that I know I've committed these actions on occasion. I know I'm not perfect, and well, now I've proven you aren't either. But, I'd just like you to consider that maybe you aren't the only one on the road. I'd like you to notice that I moved out of the right lane when no one was behind me because I was going straight, and perhaps another person will come up to the red light soon and will now be able to turn without me being in his/her way. Why did you switch lanes INTO the right lane? You're not turning right! You're going straight, too. Did you just not want to be second in the lane behind my car? Now my act of common courtesy to the potential right-turn driver is undone, and you are the horrible driver for whom this letter is intended.

In these times of people being so rude to each other, not caring about others' feelings, not accepting differences or being willing to hear an opposing view, being a more courteous driver sure could go a long way. We have to be more willing to share, to let others in, to help each other out, to not be first, to think of the other person - even when her existence is still only a potential. Use your car as a way of being respectful and kind. This country sure could use a good dose of that right about now.

Sincerely,
The 20% of people who are doing everything we can to tolerate you

P.S. I do feel better now. Thank you for letting me vent. I will now step off my soapbox and return to blogging about my precious children and the chaos of life in general. If this letter found its way to you and you've actually read through to this postscript, all I ask is that you question your driving behavior and consider what you can do to be a more courteous driver.
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