I typically use this blog space to write about my children and document their formative years. However, that's not how this blog started. Its original purpose was to have a space to yell at the world, to vent my feelings and frustrations with wedding planning, to comment quite bluntly on society as I saw it, and to clear my head during a time of change in my life. I'm feeling the need to return to that original purpose - for at least a good few minutes on my soapbox before I step back into posting about recipes, my children's development, and the joys and tribulations of being the wife of a Congressional candidate. I promise I don't harbor anger or walk around as a judgmental narcissist, but I need to let off some steam aimed directly at about 80% of drivers in my neighborhood and surrounding areas. Okay... deep breath.... here goes nothing.
YOU ARE A HORRIBLE DRIVER! Yes, it's true I grew up as a passenger in my father's car about 30% of my childhood. I was subject to his irate road rage as he called fellow drivers decorative names like "idiot," "moron," "crazy woman driver," or "pig." He weaved in and out of drivers who were in his way, and he laid on the horn or gave "the finger" far too many times. I will say, though, he was always safe, and he typically had good reason to be flying down the road, as he was usually on his way to the hospital to help a laboring patient deliver her baby. So, there's that disclaimer - that I'm coming to you in a state of learned rage and arrogance. But, you are. You really are a horrible driver. Let's review some of your most frustrating infractions:
-You are the first car at the intersection. You sit idly at a red light in the right turn lane, wanting to turn right, with no oncoming traffic, holding up the line. Unless otherwise posted, you should know, YOU CAN TURN RIGHT ON RED IN TEXAS. Go, buddy. Make that turn, and let us all move on.
-You are the first car at the intersection. You sit idly at a red light in the right turn lane, NOT wanting to turn right. This is rude. Get out of my lane. I want to turn right, and you are preventing me from doing so - and everyone else behind me, too. I'm trying to get to work, and your lack of consideration for taking up my front row space in a lane I could be turning in is unnerving.
-This one is a doozy, so hang in there with me as I try to describe this frustrating misdeed. You're pulling up to a four-way stop. Although yes, this is a lane meant for one car, it is an extremely wide lane in the middle of a quiet neighborhood, quite capable of fitting two cars side by side. There is plenty of space and even a natural separation - a straight line of tar perfectly positioned, to divide this lane in half. You take up the middle of the lane. Worse than that, you drive in the middle of the lane, when there are clearly cars behind you (and in front of you) that have intelligently, cooperatively, and creatively made the typical one lane into two so that cars turning right can move on and not make school drop-off take unnecessarily ridiculous amounts of time. You're doing it again at the intersection where I want to turn right, and you want to turn left, and you don't leave enough room for me to turn while you wait for oncoming traffic on the right to dissipate. I've created a graphic to help you get this one. It's just so obvious to me, so I want to make it obvious to you. The RED curved rectangle represents YOUR car. (If you're colorblind like my husband, it's the bottom-most car on this graphic.) Notice anything just a bit off from what everyone else is doing to help keep traffic going?
(Also notice that two cars are entering the intersection at the same time. When they won't interfere with each other's pathway, that is perfectly safe to do. You should try it, too. The bottom right green car could also be moving along, as well, since there is no oncoming traffic. And, one of the other cars going straight could proceed as well. See? Teamwork. Safety. Cooperation. Progress. Movement. Satisfaction.)
-When I put my blinker on to move over to your lane, that doesn't mean you should speed up and prevent me from doing so. That means I'd like to get over when I can. Perhaps you can wave me over, slow just a tad or even continue at your present speed. With your help, we can both keep moving where we'd like. I promise... my desire to get in your lane is not to forever impede your ability to get to your destination.
-You don't wave when I'm courteous. But, I'm okay with that disrespect when you don't deserve the courtesy. I'm a big girl and can handle that. What I'm not okay with is that you don't wave when you cut me off or take advantage of my courtesy to the driver in front of you who you tailgated just so you could inch into my lane as I'm driving in the prison of cars at rush hour trying to get my kids to swim lessons on time. You don't say sorry, say thank you, or make any kind of eye contact. You can't face me, because you know what you did was wrong. But, own it!
-You see that I'm trying to turn onto the street you are currently driving along - maybe from a shopping center, maybe from my street into the carpool lane. You are perfectly still, waiting in the traffic. You avoid eye contact, even though I'm trying to get your attention to ask permission to ease into your lane while we wait for traffic to move again. You have no desire to let me in. You start inching forward, and when traffic begins to move again, you just drive ahead with no regard for sharing the road.
-You block the intersection I'm trying to get across. You see the car in the lane next to you has politely stayed back quite a distance from the car in front of him, but you don't take the hint. You are either oblivious to those around you, or you could care less for the people who are trying to move on with their day.
-You pull into the two-lane intersection trying to cut across to the lane where you can turn left. However, the left turn traffic is backed up and not moving. So, now you are just blocking the right turn lane and everyone who wants to utilize it - even when the light is red, because although you can't go, I COULD. We can turn right on red in Texas, remember? But not today. No, sir. Your car is just hanging out in my way. You don't wave and say you're sorry or --- better idea --- back the __ up back from whence you came when you realize your infraction.
-It's morning rush hour. The left turn lane is slow going, and you are about 6 cars from the front. I'm right behind you. I see you putting on your make-up. I see you looking at yourself in the mirror with your eyelash curler. I see you look at your phone a couple times. But, now the line has moved, and this green arrow won't last forever. I'd REALLY like it if you could pay some ___ing attention and close that ever-growing gap between you and the car long ahead of you so we could both make the light, and perhaps all the people behind us could have a chance at doing so, too. Because what REALLY ticks me off is when you make the light and I don't - because you were selfish and put your make-up routine ahead of my time.
-You give in to that itching curiosity and significantly lower your speed to observe an accident. What's worse? The accident is on the other side of the highway. Our direction of traffic should not be impacted at all by this accident, but here you are, slowing miles of road behind us because you saw some flashing lights ahead. Of course - we care about the well-being of the motorists involved. We want to know what took so long and how bad the accident is. But, really?! Do we really need to come to a near-stop and take notes? Please give those unfortunate victims their privacy and DRIVE!!
-There is a school bus driving in the opposite direction we are. The school bus stops, and the arm holding a stop sign is extended, and the bus's alternating red lights begin to flash. The cars behind the bus stop, as they should, for the children to exit the bus. Because there is a raised median separating us from that bus and those children, you don't have to stop. But, alas, you do not know school bus safety laws, so you think we have to sit there watching until the bus moves on. We don't. At least not in our state. In fact, just to prove I'm right, I am going to show you the Texas Department of Public Safety's website statement: "...if the lanes are separated by an intervening space or physical barrier, only motorists going in the same direction as the bus are required to stop." Just sayin. Keep moving.
Now, I know you don't care that I'm in a hurry to pick up my child from school on time or that I've got a child screaming because he dropped his water cup and all hell is breaking loose in the backseat or that I've got a drifting toddler just minutes before nap time who I need to get to his crib before he falls asleep - therefore completely ruining his afternoon (and more importantly, MINE!) or that I stayed too long at home helping my son when he had diarrhea before school and now I'm late for work and am already going to be late for a meeting. None of these things are your problem. I get it. But, can't you just "help a mother out?" Why must you drive like you are on a damn Sunday afternoon stroll down the lane when you are on a highway with people trying to get to where they are needed?
I also realize that none of these offenses are really "illegal," but they certainly aren't very courteous. Let's just apply some typical manners, rules of ettiequte, and common decency to our driving. You need to share the road. You need to take turns. You need to thank people when they allow you into their space. You need to pay attention to what everyone else is doing. You need to watch where you're going. You need to realize you aren't the only one here, and there are innovative and fantastic ways we could all help each other out.
In his book, Choosing Civility: The Twenty-Five Rules of Considerate Conduct, P.M. Forni outlines basic rules for connecting happily with others. Rule number is PAY ATTENTION. If you pay attention, you can choose to see the situation others may be in. This is imperative when on the road and cooperating as civilized drivers. I can't help but think of this rule when I experience so many of these thoughtless actions I encounter nearly every day in my car. I use your misconduct as a way of teaching my own children how to interact with others. They see me get angry on the road, sure. I don't shout at you like my father probably would. I don't (usually) give you "the finger." But, I do use your lack of consideration as a teaching tool for my babies who are watching me handle you, and for trying to teach them about how you should pay better attention to those of us around you who are stuck behind you and cannot proceed with getting to our destination in a more timely manner.
I will add that I know I've committed these actions on occasion. I know I'm not perfect, and well, now I've proven you aren't either. But, I'd just like you to consider that maybe you aren't the only one on the road. I'd like you to notice that I moved out of the right lane when no one was behind me because I was going straight, and perhaps another person will come up to the red light soon and will now be able to turn without me being in his/her way. Why did you switch lanes INTO the right lane? You're not turning right! You're going straight, too. Did you just not want to be second in the lane behind my car? Now my act of common courtesy to the potential right-turn driver is undone, and you are the horrible driver for whom this letter is intended.
In these times of people being so rude to each other, not caring about others' feelings, not accepting differences or being willing to hear an opposing view, being a more courteous driver sure could go a long way. We have to be more willing to share, to let others in, to help each other out, to not be first, to think of the other person - even when her existence is still only a potential. Use your car as a way of being respectful and kind. This country sure could use a good dose of that right about now.
Sincerely,
The 20% of people who are doing everything we can to tolerate you
P.S. I do feel better now. Thank you for letting me vent. I will now step off my soapbox and return to blogging about my precious children and the chaos of life in general. If this letter found its way to you and you've actually read through to this postscript, all I ask is that you question your driving behavior and consider what you can do to be a more courteous driver.
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