Saturday, December 31, 2016

The Best Worst Year

It all started with maggots. That's right. Maggots. On December 31, 2015, it was my day to get up early with Banner and Quinn. Just like every morning, I had to go to pee before I could start my day, so I used the boys' hallway bathroom, and as my pregnant body slouched to the toilet, I noticed a white creeper on the tile immediately in front of my feet. I knew what it was immediately, but it baffled me because... well, what is a maggot doing in my boys' bathroom? But, I picked it up and flushed it, and once Sam was up, I told him what I had seen. He didn't believe me, said it must have been a different critter, and we moved on.

The next morning was January 1, 2016, and this is the day we KNEW we had maggots in our house. In the exact same spot as the previous morning, I saw another one. This time, I took a picture of it, showed it to Sam, and we both came back to the bathroom to see more of them. They were burrowing into the black bathmats. They were scattered throughout the bathroom floor. It nearly made me vomit. I knew this was an omen. Who starts their new year with maggots? It just had to be a sign that this year was going to be awful.

Turns out the maggots were in the attic, devouring a dead rat immediately above the boys' bathroom. The maggots probably got into the bathroom through the fan vent, although we never did really figure that out for certain. The exterminator told us we had other signs of rats in the attic - and squirrels, too. We put out traps around the attic and the perimeter of the house. Apparently, this was a common problem in the area, so we weren't alone. But, this was not the way I wanted to spend the first month of the new year - trying to rid my house of rodents! And all of this just a month before we would bring home a new baby. But, we paid quite a bit for rodent exclusion.

In addition to this problem, Sam's car was falling apart. On his first day back to work after the holiday break, his car wouldn't start. Once at the shop, we were told it would be $3,000 to fix it. Even though the car was only worth a small amount more than that, we fixed it. And, when he went to drive it after the fix, it still wasn't working properly. After another trip to the dealership to get it fixed, he finally had a working car.

On top of that, we were having some plumbing issues. A leaky faucet and a hissing toilet had me calling the plumber, but two days after he "repaired" these, the toilet overflowed as we were all trying to leave for work/school. The faucet started dripping again, too. Only our cleaning lady was able to repair the faucet that dripped for the entire weekend! It was one disaster after another.

Our luck seemed to be pretty awful, so my paranoia that something would go wrong with my delivery seemed justified when so many other things were going wrong around us. Luckily, everything went great, and I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby - my favorite delivery yet, in fact, since we were able to actually watch the doctor deliver Knox during the C-section. I thank God every day that this delivery went smoothly and that we have our healthy baby with us!

Two weeks later, Quinn had a cold. We were told it was RSV - he was only tested for Knox's sake. Because we knew how dangerous this cold could be for Knox, he went to stay at Grandma's house for  two nights. But, after two nights, we felt like it wasn't fair to Grandma to have to do all the night feedings and care taking. So, Knox came home. That Friday, his snot grew thick and green. By Monday, he was at the doctor's office having a breathing treatment, and by Tuesday he was admitted to the hospital, exactly 3 weeks after he was born. Luckily, we were only there to prevent a horrible downfall, and the oxygen and breathing treatments provided were to keep him from getting worse.  But, financially, this was another hit. Three big hospital bills (mine, Knox's birth, and the RSV stay) were piling up, and I kept thinking about those damn maggots. This was the WORST YEAR!

We made a decision to pay off all bills right away and not have them lingering the way Quinn's birth had (in fact, we hadn't paid off the total from his delivery at this point in the year). A day later, hail broke through all 5 skylights in our house and pelted Sam's car. Sam and I were devastated. We looked at each other, as our sky literally came crashing down, with a look of "When will we ever catch a break!?!" Panicked and not knowing what to do, we called our insurance company and tried to pick up the mess as the boys slept through the loudest, most devastating storm we'd ever experienced.

Two weeks later, each of our sons and I got pink eye in both eyes. It was a challenge managing four sets of eye drops, breathing treatments, reflux meds, feedings, and my own meds. Yes, my own meds. During all the healing from Knox's delivery and all the other shenanigans, it's no wonder I talked to my doctor about my "walking into a deep, dark tunnel" and the feelings of my family unraveling from all of my control. At 6 weeks postpartum, she said, I should be coming OUT of those feelings. I told her I was walking IN to them. We both agreed I was experiencing postpartum depression for the first time. I cried in the shower. I withdrew from my mom and from Sam... the two people I would share anything and everything with normally. I felt a rage inside me that I couldn't seem to tame, and I didn't want to be around my children. Knowing that was not normal and not being ashamed to discuss it but rather wanting help, I told my doctor all of this. I noticed a change pretty quickly after starting only half a dose. It took the edge off and lowered my anxiety. I was taking care of me, and I was able to start work 8 weeks postpartum not feeling like I lived in a horrible place.

We were still dealing with the aftermath of the storm with both the house and Sam's car. That storm would prove to be a mixed blessing. The money from the insurance helped us replace a roof that probably needed replacing anyway. It was the only thing standing in our way of selling our house. So, with that repaired, we could move forward with listing the house. A week after we listed, we had a contract. The selling part went so smoothly. But, when it was our turn to buy, we were up against a horrible human being who probably pocketed insurance money and refused to fix anything we requested. She was a bitch to worth with - a despicable realtor herself actually who wouldn't budge on anything. We were so in love with the house, though, we decided to stick with it despite its awful owner.

Moving out of Darion was a big deal to us; leaving the only home our boys had known and the place where Sam and I became a family was tough. And I couldn't help but wonder if this was the right choice. Would 2016 always be the "year of the maggot?" Would our decisions and choices made this year be cursed? Should we wait it out? Are we giving up the best place for us? But, again, we pushed forward, and we moved our family into this beautiful house that we have begun to feel "at home" in. We're settling in, and we are loving it! But, I still have a weary feeling that haunts me, a feeling that maybe we've bought a lemon. I keep waiting for the house to fall apart in some way.

About a week after we moved in, Sam's car was kaput again. Instead of investing even more money in it (a 2002 4Runner), we decided to get a new car. You know, spend MORE money we didn't really have. There were also unexpected problems - a plumbing issue that wasn't caught by the inspector, a garage door that suddenly stopped operating... all while trying to adjust to a new house, a new school for Banner, a new routine for Knox, and a new job position for me.

Yet, throughout the entire year, I've tried to keep things in perspective. 2016 has been great to us in so many ways, and definitely better to us personally than it has been to our world. This year brought the Dallas Police shootings, the Orlando shootings, the Nice attack, Brexit, horrible conflict in Syria, a heated election, the deaths of singers, songwriters, actors, directors, legendary icons, and the electoral vote for Trump. I've been in mourning over that whole disaster and what it will do to our country and to various groups of people. I'm hoping the worst part was his winning the election and that 2017 will bring a surprising breath of fresh air.

In 2016, we barely slept. Knox is a horrible sleeper, and on the rare occasion that he does sleep through the entire night without interruption, his brothers don't follow suit. One or both of them will be up with some problem or desire to sleep in our bed. Yet, throughout the year, I've learned how I can still function (even happily) on little sleep. I've learned to not sweat the small stuff and let those little nuggets in our bed so everyone can go to sleep... and a piece of me kind of likes the nightly cuddles with my boys who are growing way too fast.

In 2016, we spent more money than ever before -- money that I felt we didn't have! But, we also made more money than ever before. It's been a rocky road since Sam started his own firm, and every January 1 from 2013 until 2015, we had a tough conversation to try to figure out if continuing that firm was a good decision financially - and therefore maritally. We went back and forth for a while on whether I should go back to work and how much I should work if I did. We're finally in a place where we don't have those conversations anymore.

In 2016, we watched our boys hit big milestone. Of course we watched Knox do big things like smile, roll over, reach for us, sit up, crawl, cruise, blow kisses, clap, and walk. We watched him try new foods, explore new things, and grow more attached to us. Quinn potty trained, gave up naps, learned to go to school without Banner, and got his own new room. He has gotten quite independent! Banner finished PreK and learned to make new friends in Kindergarten. He's reading like a champ, enjoys Sunday School (but hates giving up part of his weekend), and is amazing with Knox.

In 2016, Sam and I managed to get away twice - a total of two nights! Whoohoo! :) A baby moon at the bed 'n breakfast in January, and the Billy Joel concert in December. With a bar that low, I'm sure we can manage to beat that in 2017!

In 2016, my nephew, Cole was born, I met my niece, Hayla, and my sister found out she's pregnant.

So, not everything about 2016 sucked! Parts of it were amazing! I am grateful for all the memories, the birthdays, the holidays, the gifts, the giving, the health that we all have. As horrible as it was, as exhausting and stressful as it's been, and as much "adulting" as we had to do, I kinda wouldn't change it. That's life. The push and pull, the ups and downs. But, I'm also kinda glad to see it go. And, so far, I haven't seen any maggots, so we're heading in the right direction!

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