Journey to the Knot: Knox's Naming

Today was Knox's baby naming ceremony, and it was perfect! Such amazing people, great food, successful set-up, and perfect baby! Here's the letter we read to Knox explaining the meaning and symbolism of both his English and his Hebrew names (A means I read, S means Sam read):

Knox,

A: Today is your baby naming, where your family and our friends surround us, welcoming you to the world. You are probably not really aware of all the love in this room right now, but one day, we hope you know just how truly loved and wanted you are! You are probably also not aware of how sleep-deprived we are, so I’m hoping that this letter makes since because your name is very important to your dad and me. We put a lot of thought into it, as so many of the people in the room know! When we found out that we were having a boy, one of the very first thoughts after “Oh my God, are you kidding me?!” was “How will we ever come up with ANOTHER boy name!?” Daddy and I laughed about how we had all these girl names in mind but no boy names on our lists any more. Names are extremely important to us. Having the honor and privilege of choosing the perfect one for you was no easy task and not a decision we took lightly. Both your English and Hebrew names were given to you with lots of thought, and we hope you will take pride in using the names we’ve selected for you.

A: The meaning of your middle name, “Morgan” is pretty symbolic. Before I tell you about it, I want you to know that Daddy and I aren’t the only ones who had ideas for what your name should be. From the first time they ever knew we had a baby on the way, your brothers wanted to give name suggestions. The first name from Banner that really stuck was Dolphin. He came up with other names later on: Cameron, Jacob, Evan... but Dolphin was the first. Trust me, I tried. I tried to incorporate that name, looking up words that meant “dolphin” or even considered the name “Dolphine” – for about 5 seconds. Then, one day, I saw Morgan on a list of names for boys. I’ve always loved that name, but I hadn’t really considered it a “boy name” as I knew only girls with that name. Yet, one of Daddy’s favorite actors is Morgan Freeman, and a male character on General Hospital is named Morgan. So, I started to consider it, especially loving that it IS gender-neutral. When I looked up the meaning of the name, I knew it was for you. “Morgan” comes from the Old Welsh masculine name “Morcant”. “Mor” meaning “sea” and “cant” meaning “circle” or “completion.” This became perfect for you. I’m 90% sure you are our last child, helping complete our family circle. In addition, Daddy and I love the sea – our most favorite vacations are cruises and being on the water. And, I have to point out, the best part: dolphins live in the sea.

S: You also have a Hebrew name, Chanan Chaim. These names were chosen for you by your mom and by me to honor the memory of two very special people in our lives. Because you won’t get to meet these special members of your family, we want to tell you about them now and let you know how you came to get this special Hebrew name.

A: My grandmother, Rosalie, was a nurturer in every sense of the word. She was always there for me and all of her family in times of need and in times of celebration. I can’t think of a time when Grandma wasn’t nurturing members of her family in some way.

The Thanksgivings, the Seders, the Hanukkah parties, yes, but the mundane meals in her kitchen. Those were the times I could tell she just really enjoyed having us there. I even have a memory of her bringing spaghetti to the table as she talked about how it’s her joy to have all of us to cook for. The snacks after naps, the bagels in the morning after a sleepover at her house, the treats she’d bring us when she’d pick us up from school. She nurtured us with food.

There were the days she came to stay with me because I was sick and Mom couldn’t take another day off work. She even assured me it was okay to eat the toast on Passover if I was sick. She kissed boo-boos, calmed itches with Campho-Phenique, and applied ice when we needed it. She took temperatures and cooled our foreheads with wet cloths. She nurtured us to heal.

Grandma wasn’t afraid of emotion. She would cry while reading our birthday cards to her, she’d let us know when she was upset with how we were treating our siblings, and she’d tear up while saying the blessings over the candles at Seder. Once, when I was a sophomore in high school, I was home sick on the same day a beloved character on General Hospital (our “story”) said his final goodbye as he died from AIDS, a disease that hit close to home. The phone rang shortly after the emotional scene, and I knew it would be her. “You okay?” she said through tears. “I am. Are you?” I replied in a cracking voice. I’m not sure who needed that call more, but we cried together. She nurtured us with emotion.

So many of my memories are when Grandma had to step in when Mom couldn’t be there. One in particular is when Mom was in the hospital recovering from surgery, and Grandma was at home with Uncle Brock, Aunt Kira, and me. It was snowing or raining – I’m not sure which – I was about 4 years old. Either way, we were all piled in bed with Grandma, and again, my vivid memory is of her with arms around us – probably annoyed at her lack of space and being up in the middle of the night – but laughing through it no less. She nurtured us by being there.

The family trips, the incessant weather reports, the realization that Pretty Woman was not an appropriate movie for a 9-year-old, the bra shopping, the unsuccessful search for the Alamo… she nurtured us with laughter.

I could go on and on, because Grandma was and continues to be such an important person in my life. I wish my children had gotten a chance to know her. And I wish she had a chance to meet you, Banner, & Quinn. But, she lives on in us and, Knox, your own grandma is so much like mine and I love that you are developing a strong bond with her at this young age.

The Hebrew name, Chanan, is in memory of my Grandma and it means “compassionate/gracious.” Grandma had to be compassionate in order to nurture us and her relationships with us. She cared, genuinely cared in every since of the word, for her family. I hope you, too, will care for, nurture, and show compassion to others in your life. In some ways, you already do that in the most fundamental way a human can. You look at us and smile. Your eyes fill with delight when you see me, Daddy, your brothers. You light up and give back that love we are showing you. I hope you will always look at others with such a strong acceptance and nurturing love.

S: To be honest, I had a lot of trouble deciding what your second Hebrew name should be and whom you should be named after. I told Mommy that I personally hadn’t endured a loss since we named Quinn – a fact for which I am grateful – and I considered another route. I originally said to Mommy that I didn’t want to name you after anyone, that I didn’t like the idea of naming you after someone who had died when I really wanted to just focus on life. Mommy responded that this is the reason Jews name their children after someone who has died, so that they may live on in some way. And that was how we came up with the second part of your Hebrew name: Chaim, which means “life.” It represents the full life we hope you have while also allowing one of the most important people in my life to live on. This special name is in memory of my mom, Leslie. I am proud to share this name with you, as “Chaim” is also the second part of my Hebrew name – which means it is a special gift from your Bubbie, who selected it for me and for whom you, like Quinn, are named. Bubbie was an amazing friend, a trustworthy mentor, and brought the light of vibrant life everywhere she went, instilling it in everyone she knew. So today, Knox, Mommy and I bestow upon you this name, in mourning of the life Bubbie didn’t get to live out, in celebration of the health and happiness our friends and family have enjoyed these last several years, and in honor of what a blessing it is to have you here, to be here with you, and to cherish all the momentous and mundane miracles your life will bring you.

A: You may have noticed that we haven’t mentioned the name you will most often be called: Knox. Well, that’s mostly because your first name, admittedly, was selected more for its visible strength and its sound, than for its meaning. But as we’ve gotten to know you, and to contemplate your name, we believe it’s perfect for the life we hope you lead.

S: “Knox” means “round hill” or “from the hills,” a place where the land goes up and down – back and forth. Not from treacherous mountains, nor from vapid plains, but from a place you still have to work to traverse. A place providing some shelter but holding you still responsible to protect yourself. A topography not lightly taken, but not overbearing. Mommy’s family and my own have worked hard to make a life for you in this world, and we’re lucky to have more than many people: in love, in family, in friends, in comfort, and in general. Mommy and I toil and sacrifice every day so that we may help you create joyful memories as you grow and learn with and from Banner and Quinn. And though we will always love you, always be here for you, and always protect you and keep you safe as best we can, we will not be able to make it effortless for you. Every day is a day to be grateful for the opportunities you have, to work hard and earn your way. Some days will seem like you’re trying to move mountains, others like you’re gliding easy over grassy fields. No matter what you’re going through, remember that we’re here to guide you, to push you, to encourage you, so when you need it, you have the strength to move those mountains, and so when you don’t you appreciate a simple stroll. And so that when you look back, you see accomplishment where once you saw challenge, hills where once you saw mountains.

A: In rereading some of the words we once read at Banner and Quinn’s namings, we noticed how the hopes we have for you and your brothers reflect the qualities of the hills. Here’s a bit of what we said to them and what we also hope for you:

“We hope you will love to laugh but be okay with crying. We hope you will be strong when faced with conflict and struggle but be sensitive to yourself and others. We hope you will take care of others but know when to take care of yourself, too. We hope you will look for answers but not be afraid to question.”

You see, so many hopes and dreams we have for you are to be a good balance of so many things – the yin and yang, the ebb and flow, the ups and downs – just like the hills, qualities that are opposing yet complimentary of each other.

Knox Morgan, we hope so many things for you, including that you like your name, as now you know it has special meanings to us. We have so many things we want to teach you about from little things like music and movies to big things like God and the world.

S: We hope you love people, enjoy music, understand the value of friendship, find romance, think positively, believe in something, stand your ground and speak your mind, fight for fairness and equality, eat good foods, and find humor in life. And we sincerely hope you will learn to sleep through the night - and soon! We want so many things for you, Knox, but mostly, we really just want you to sleep through the night… no, really, we do. But even more, we want you to be happy, healthy, and full of love!

We love you,

Mommy & Daddy

May 29, 2016