Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Banner: 4 and 1/2 Years

Dear Banner,
Four and a half. So fast. You are super-excited that you are now four and a half, and I'm a bit on the fence about it. You're still so little, still so young, but it's all happening too fast, and soon you will be five and ready for Kindergarten. I wanted to tell you a little about you at this very fun age and at this very exciting time in your life. I'm typing this letter to you with another little brother moving around inside my belly, eager to meet you in just a couple months. Your first brother is taking a nap in your shared bedroom, in the bottom bed of the bunk you two now share. Quinn has quickly become your best friend, the one you want to protect and make sure is okay at school, the one you cheer on when he says or does something great, the one you want to make laugh, and the one who wants to copy your every move! I'm so glad you two are as close as you are; and while there are times that I know you wish he would just go away, you would be terribly sad without him. And you, you are next to me in bed during "Turtle Time" playing away on the iPad, your most prized possession.

So much has happened in the last 6 months. Here's a little insight into what you've been up to:

-You started a new school, and you adore it! While you miss your old school from time to time, you are so very happy with where you are and who you see when there. Randi, Ella, Quinn, Bree - all some of the familiar faces you started with - and now you adore your entire class. You stay late once a week for a Lego enrichment class and seem to really like that. Your favorite things to do at school are to play on the new playground (especially the spider web equipment) and to play "Baby" with Addy, your "girlfriend" who your teachers say you can become quite possessive of. You sit with Quinn at Havdalah and Shabbat every Monday and Friday, and when he was having separation issues at the beginning of the school year, you were sad when he would cry (even slightly slapping at your own face to distract you from crying). You love Ms. Sandi and Ms. Yael, your teachers, and you love learning about holidays and history. Your handwriting is improving, you love learning letters and their sounds, you love trying to read books with me, and we've just started working on sight words. Academically, you are excelling, and socially, you have lots of friends. In our parent/teacher conference, the area that we addressed that needs work is taking responsibility for your actions. You often argue when a simple "Yes, Ma'am" or "I'm sorry, I'll stop," will do. You are your father's son - a negotiator who will make an excellent attorney if you so choose, but Son, your incessant "explaining your way out of trouble" has got to stop! This is the hardest part of parenting you... I want to hear what you are thinking and feeling, but at the same time, there's simply no way out of a consequence when you've made a choice to hit your brother or speak meanly to a classmate.

-Along those lines, you do respond to our counting ("That's one") and if we get to three, you do not like time-outs. You especially don't like being alone in your room. I don't think you're scared, but you do not like it whatsoever.

-Also, we've tried to instill more responsibility by assigning chores throughout the week. Each Sunday, you have been given a new chore chart with five jobs each day: morning routine, keeping a zone of the house clean and organized, after meal job, a job of choice (where you can pick from emptying dishwasher, taking out trash, cleaning the dining table, or folding laundry), and night/bed routine. There are days you choose to forego your checkmark/point, and days when you are eager to get all five points. Either way, when Sunday rolls around again, it's "pay day" and you earn 5 cents for each check mark you got that week. You are saving up for new toys or apps right now.

-You started playing soccer with the Strikers led by Coach Jimmy - and by the 3rd or 4th game, you scored a goal or two every game through the end of the fall season! The kids really liked you - in fact, I'm pretty sure Lana (the coach's daughter) had/has a little crush on you.

-We've been swimming with Ms. Patty again this school year, and this time, Quinn swims right after you. Because you swam so much this summer - at Grandma/Papa's pool and others - you were so excited to show-off your skills to Ms. Patty, and you are becoming quite the expert swimmer. Last year, you'd have a nervous tummy before lessons, and you absolutely hated swim lessons at Metroplex camp, but since September, you have done fabulously well and can't wait to swim each week. Then, you cheer Quinn and his classmates on as they learn new skills you learned long ago.

-You loved Camp Gan Izzy this past summer. Your favorite days were the field trip days. Whenever we pass by there now, you wave and say, "Hi, Camp Gan Izzy. Miss you! See you next summer!" which I love to hear!

 -Some of my favorite quotes: when driving one day, we were on a "dead end road," and when I told that to you, you replied, "Was the street alive once and now it's dead?" Another day, we were on our way home from camp, and you said, "There's a rabbi I really like." When I asked who, you told me "Uncle Barry is my favorite rabbi." I asked you how you knew he was a rabbi (because he's not), and you said, "Because he knows all the stories of the holidays." Recently, we were on our way to the Arboretum for our annual pumpkin patch visit, and we picked up kolaches and donuts on the way (definitely your morning favorite breakfast!). You wanted more kolaches but we only bought two for each of you and Quinn. When Quinn was still eating his and you were bummed you couldn't have anymore, you said, "He's rubbing his kolache in my face!" Daddy and I were impressed with your use of this idiom, but it was hard not to laugh.

 -Your vocabulary continues to amaze us. For instance, you once said that a man in the "That's Silly" part of High Five magazine looked "similar" to Pharoah's men. You told us once that the "main characters" in Team Umizoomi were Bot, Milly, and Geo, and that the "minor characters" were Door Mouse and Umicar. You truly do soak up with you learn. You even regurgitated the story of Adam & Eve, telling us that "they didn't know they were naked until they ate from the tree."

-Your observations are always insightful. One day, we were at a red light, and you said, "Why are there so many cars on the road now?" I said, "Well, people are on their way home from work or from the store or from anywhere." Then, you said, "You mean the dads on their way home from work. Moms don't work." Your feminist mother - and feminist father - looked at each other, and Daddy reminded you that your mommy does work. :)

-That's been another change - me going back to work. I'm working part-time now, and you are very respectful of that. You understand that what Mommy does at the two schools (which you often ask about by name) is important and that I'm helping other children.

-You make connections about what you are learning. Ms. Yael told us in our conference the other day that when she was teaching about Hanukkah and the battle that was fought, you referenced the Alamo battle to draw comparisons. As I said before, you love history and learning about our traditions. You so enjoyed Sukkot, have always loved the story of Passover, and this year, you wanted to hear the story of Jonah and the whale a few times around Yom Kippur.

-You can be very shy in new situations or upon entering a new place. But, once comfortable, you love attention and being the center of it! You get quite attached to the people you spend time with, and saying goodbye has gotten extra difficult. You have a hard time saying a final goodbye to anyone - me, Grandma, Daddy, Randi/Ella after a play date, Zaide, Aunt Kira, Uncle Marc, your cousins... you'll want to stretch that goodbye out as long as you can, asking one more thing or telling us one more story. Not one visit has gone by when you don't run after Grandma's car down the street. You have to run after me each morning when I leave for work. You can't pull yourself away from the window when Daddy leaves for work when I'm still home.

-You are still working on staying dry overnight. We have you wearing GoodNights because you are only dry about once or twice a week. Honestly, I still think you pee right when you wake-up and are otherwise dry throughout the night, but until you can get yourself to a toilet faster in the morning, we will keep wearing these very expensive diapers. I have a feeling you are going to take after Mommy and be a bed-wetter for far longer than I'd like. It may be time to get you an alarm in your underwear like I had to wear when I was a little older than you. That stopped me right away!

-You've had a persistent cough for the last year or so, and when the doctors told me that it's normal for kids to cough for the first 20-30 minutes of the day, I left it alone. But, with a wet cough for the past couple months, I had had it. Daddy and I took you to Dr. Matt for his opinion, and we have noticed a big change in just the last 5 days. We started doing saline nasal rinses (when you allow it!) at night (and when you don't - we use saline spray), and we also started Nasocort spray. We're continuing your Zyrtec twice a day, too. All of this, so far, seems to be helping you sleep better and cough less. Now, if only we could get Quinn to do the same!

-You are very into space and the solar system. You love to play board games. You love to show off how you can stand on one leg for a long period of time (although you can't do it as long on your left leg - maybe because your right foot is dominant - maybe because your left ankle is weaker since the break last year). You like to climb the doorways of each room in our house. You are finally wiping your own bottom - thanks to your teachers at school (whew, I can check that one off my list for starting Kindergarten!). You like to help me bake, LOVE Legos, love YouTube videos and finding new apps for us to put on our very limited-in-memory iPad, absolutely adore your cousins and your grandparents, are eager to know more about babies and what it will be like when our new baby joins our family, are into Hide & Seek, have your Mommy's memory and won't forget something when I want you to (like when you saw Quinn's wrapped Hanukkah present in the cabinet and had to know who it's for and when you can play with it and when will I tell you what it's for...), like going to the library to check out books, make guns out of anything (your fingers, your pretzels, Play Doh, a rice cake...), and love to hear Mario stories at bed every night. You are a hit with the ladies - coming home with drawings from Addy or Ashley, telling me "Mommy, I'm in love with Julia," and always wanting a play date with Ella. You love to learn new things - wanting to research and find videos about centipedes or umbilical cords or boogers or Pompeii or anything else you are curious about.

-Recently, you and Quinn have fallen in love with some YouTube videos (Maccabeats' "Latke Recipe" and "Candlelight," and Six13's "Uptown Passover" are the current faves), and you both love to dance around the playroom to these songs. My favorite is the way you (and therefore Quinn) end each performance - laying on your side on the floor with an index finger pointing up to the sky - and usually one leg with it.

Banner Boone, you are at this great age right now. You can be feisty and disrespectful and stubborn, don't get me wrong. And, the "threenager" in you surfaces from time-to-time. There are times when you will lose it over not getting the color cup you wanted or not having the first turn at a toy or game. But, you're becoming more mature and easier to reason with. You can be so very sweet and thoughtful. You care deeply for your family and those you love. You're smart and well-mannered (when you so choose!). You're inquisitive and interested in the world around you.

I am so excited to watch you become a big brother all over again when this littlest brother debuts. You can be such a big helper, and more often than not, you and Quinn enjoy each other, so I'm thinking you're going to take to this change pretty well. But, I want you to know as this big change comes that my love for you never will. If anything, my love keeps growing for you every day. My favorite and most heartbreaking time of each week is when I have to leave for work. Even if I have said goodbye to you 5 times and given hugs and kisses galore, you will run out after me to wave to me, blow kisses, and sign "I love you" as the garage door closes. You will sink down as it gets lower, not wanting to leave me one second before you absolutely have to. I both love and hate this: it makes me late for work nearly every day but how can I leave when all you want is a couple more minutes with me!? Like I said earlier, goodbyes are hard for you now, and while I hurt for you when it's time to leave, I love that you feel that attachment - one I worried about when you were itty bitty, my "happy-go-lucky" baby!

Oh, how much I love you, B! As always, you are keeping us on our toes and helping us up our game at this parenting gig we signed up for when you became a part of our lives. You are a challenge and always will be - just par for the course as a firstborn. Sometimes I feel badly for you, having to take on the consequences of our inexperience, our naivety, our ignorance, and our weaknesses as first-time parents to you. Yet, as we head further into parenting, I'm learning not to be so afraid - not to be worry so much - and that you and I will be just fine! Damn, you're a beautiful boy - inside and out. And, sometimes I'm not sure what I did so perfectly right to have you as my son.

As with every "milestone" of aging, I hold tight to you the night before it comes. Last night was no different. I laid beside you - yes, in the top of an old bunk bed at 7 months pregnant - and just watched you drift off to sleep, wanting to savor the feel of your soft cheeks, the sweetness of your breath, the warmth of your hands. As always, I want to freeze time, because even though this is just a "half-birthday," it reminded me that 6 months from now, I'll be saying goodnight to my 4-year-old for the last time and forever missing you at this age. Yet, as you get older, bigger, more mature, I am always grateful that you are healthy and happy and becoming exactly who you are! I am grateful to be your mommy, to be the one to watch you every day become the beautiful, wise, sweet, inquisitive, caring, creative boy you are! And, just like you said to me this morning, "I like you!" I really like you and love you more than words could ever express.

Happy Half-Birthday, Angel Baby!
Love,
Mommy


FLASHBACK:
Your first 1/2-Birthday! 6 months old, December 2011

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