Guest Post: About Your Mommy

Dear Banner,

I recently asked your mommy for a chance to write a guest post on her blog. She does not know what I'm writing,what it is titled, or even remotely what the subject is. You see, she writes this blog to keep track of our lives, of your growth and development, and in the hopes that you will someday be able to look back and see what you were up to all these years ago. What mommy rarely does, however, is talk about herself (unless it in some way relates to you). I wanted to write something so that, one day in the future, when you're reading this about what you were like, you will have some record of what your mommy was like, too.

She thinks about you. You are at the forefront of her thoughts all the time. If it's past your bedtime, she is constantly reminding me to be quiet so that I don't wake you up. If it is the morning, she is making sure that you are fed, clean and presentable to the world. If she is not with you, she is wondering how you're doing. If she is out and about with you, she is trying to find new ways to stimulate your mind and keep you entertained and happy.

She plans for you. Mommy is always planning, making a list, preparing something. She is rearranging and restocking your diaper bag constantly. She is planning your upcoming week with play dates, gymnastics, reading time at the library, getting time in with friends & family, and even what you will eat. She is always calculating what time your meals and nap(s) will be each day depending on the night before and when you woke up. She is figuring the timing of big events coming up with your schedule in mind, from a wedding we're in to the Race for the Cure to one of your cousins' birthday parties.  It is a rarity indeed for mommy not to be prepared for whatever may pop up with your schedule.

She creates for you. Mommy is constantly researching new things to do with you at home and out in the wide world. She finds ways to create new experiences for you at the zoo, at the library, or even just at home. She builds organizers for your toys. She designs projects for you to play and learn. She finds a way to submerge you in social and educational environments. She sculpts giraffe-shaped sandwiches for trips to the zoo and football-shaped crackers when the Horns or Cowboys play - all for you. She bakes new breads and concocts new recipes to expand your palette.

She teaches for you. She designs activities at home that she knows will teach you a new skill or show you a new facet of our world. She reads with you and encourages you to acquire language. She coaches you on how to do new things that you've never done before, most of the time with the intent that you will be able to do them again on your own. She takes time to substitute at her old school so that you have time to stay with Aunt Kiki, Grandma, Aunt Gayle or Aunt Shelby and learn from them, too.

She nurtures you. All of these things are done to nurture your personality, your sense of humor, your intellect, and your smile. When you smile she smiles brighter as a result. When you laugh she bellows out with joy. When you cry her heart aches for a way to make it better. When you fuss she fights herself to react in a way that she wants to model for you. When you just need a moment to cuddle, she is a soft, warm place for you to nuzzle and be home.

She remembers for you. She keeps a running list of your milestones, including how old you are when you reach them, and she notes the details to remember the circumstances surrounding your growth. She has diaries of the foods you have eaten and how you reacted. She blogs several times a week to ensure that we all have a catalog of you.

Everything your mommy does is for you. You are constantly on her mind, in her thoughts and prayers, and in her arms for as long as you will hold still in them. You are so blessed to have a mommy as great as yours. Like me, she loves you more every day and more than she ever knew she could. No matter where you go or what you do, she is with you, she is thinking about you, and she loves you.

Love, Daddy

Arth-freakin'-ritis

If you haven't kept up with the "knee issue" posts, feel free to go back and reread them, but extremely long story extremely short: I have arthritis. My rheumatologist isn't sure what kind it is just yet, and we may never know for sure, but it's either rheumatoid or psoriatic. My internist agrees, and she empathized with what I must be going through at the beginning of a diagnosis. She totally hit the nail on the head - explaining how frustrating it must be to have to go back and forth to the pharmacy to change medications because the other one(s) were not working, to keep paying a copay for them, to keep getting my hopes up that one med will work but then it doesn't, to not have all the answers, etc. What she didn't elaborate on was the pain I am feeling. So, I feel the need to just vent and get it out  tonight.

I feel like a prisoner in this body of mine. I feel like I am trapped in this tight, painful, sore, achy body with random parts that don't want to move, be used, be stretched, or turn certain directions. I'm very optimistic that we will find a medication that works, but right now I am on anti-inflammatory number 3, and I'm still not finding much relief. I was allergic to the first one, the second one didn't work, and I'm not feeling much benefit from this one. There are more options, and we are not at the end of the line by any means, but I'm just so frustrated with my body.

Sleeping is rough. I was always a good sleeper, and I still am. The problem comes in when I want to change positions or turn over. The moment I move, at all, I'm in pain. To pull my knee up, to turn my arm a different way, to rearrange how my wrist is situated under my head - it all just wakes me up and causes involuntary facial expressions as I wince at the tightness and painfulness of my body. Turning over causes both Sam and I to wake up, as it is a long, tedious process.

Waking up in the morning is the worst, I think. My body feels so sore and stiff. My right wrist (and since yesterday, my left wrist) and my left shoulder and elbow don't seem to want to cooperate. I feel like a ton of bricks has been added to my body each morning as I slowly will the strength to walk to Banner's room when I hear him cry out in the morning - and then muster even more strength and stamina to lift him out of his crib only to fight him on the changing table. Most mornings, my right wrist wants nothing to do with this fight, and I usually let Banner win for a bit until he's a little less inquisitive and I can distract him enough to try to lay still so I can change his full, wet diaper. While Sam is really helpful, I don't want to depend on him or have him bear the brunt of my body's weaknesses. Many mornings, anyway, he's already out the door to a meeting or event (which is GREAT for his business!). I absolutely HATE that the mere lifting of my not-even-25-pound toddler causes me such pain - or even anxiety. I have learned how to compensate most of the day - but the morning is rough. Even my right knee (which is still very swollen and stiff) gets pissed at me in the morning when I try to sit on the toilet - getting up and down from it causes me to feel like one very.OLD.lady! Oh, and then there's the left side of my jaw, which pops all day now. It's painful to even eat much of anything. Even wearing my night guard which I have had for years to prevent TMJ and grinding teeth has not helped alleviate the pain I'm feeling. Again, this only adds to the complete and utter feeling of being trapped in this body. It's like every morning my young, internal side is yelling, "LET ME OUT OF HERE!" I just want to be able to DO! (As I once read on an RA blog: "The pain is horrible, but the frustration is worse." Oh, I couldn't have said it better!)

Throughout the day, like I said before, I have learned to compensate. I lift Banner from the floor by leaning over and having him hug into me, so I lift with both arms underneath his armpits rather than using my hands underneath him. That prevents the pain in my wrist. I've learned to just let some of the small things go - which is probably a good thing anyway - like picking up his dropped/thrown sippy cup on the floor throughout a meal. I rely more on the vacuum/electronic broom more often - whereas I would usually just get down and collect all the spilled/dropped/thrown food with my hands and a wet paper towel. And, I'm slowly learning how to get up and down off the floor faster, although that is still a huge task when I'm trying to balance my weight and avoid my "bad" joints which are sprinkled on both sides of the body. I can't put weight on my right wrist, my left elbow, my right knee, and certain toes - so it's a challenge, but I'm trying! I just worry about the opposite areas compensating for my weak ones. In fact, like I mentioned earlier, my left wrist just started hurting - as if it's been a little bit jealous of the attention my right wrist was getting and needed to stir up trouble to get on my radar!

Ironically, I've needed Sam's help opening my medicine bottle first thing in the morning. I can't get enough strength behind my wrist to move and twist the bottle cap. The feelings that come along with this are awful: feeling inadequate, weak, dependent. I spoke with a friend (and former colleague) of mine who has rheumatoid arthritis, and it was so nice to hear that I'm not alone in these feelings. She was also diagnosed after her first child was born. We talked about how isolating having RA can be and how - even though our husbands are extremely understanding and empathic - they still won't ever really feel what we are feeling. It's hard to feel like an old woman at such young ages, and it's hard to feel weak or incapable when you really WANT to move, help, lift, etc.

I have a disease that no one can see or tell I have just by looking at me. No one can judge how much pain or discomfort I'm feeling, and the only way they would even possibly know or start to imagine is if I tell them. But, I'm not really one to go around telling people out of the blue that I have a disease. Honestly, I guess I just figured no one cares. But, with an invisible disease causing me pain, stiffness, achy-ness, and swelling, it's hard to feel normal.

There are times when I'm really hurting and just want everyone in the room to know. There have been times when I'm subbing and want the kids to walk themselves to PE so that I don't have to suffer the walk down the hallway. There have been times when I'm at gymnastics with a distracted Banner, and I could care less if he's doing what he's supposed to or not because I'm too sore to keep chasing after him. I'm finding it more and more difficult to write - so when I've gone to the doctor's office and had to sign-in or fill out paperwork, I hate holding the pen and trying to write well. (Typing doesn't hurt at all; holding a pen and grasping it as I move my wrist does hurt.) There have been times when I appear lazy or weak - like trying to move boxes to pack up after a garage sale, and boxes just slip right out of my grip, even a light box filled with stuffed animals. There have been times I just feel flu-like - weak and feverish (which I've heard is normal for RA patients), and I just have to suck it up and get over it. As the mother of a toddler, I don't get much choice, and I certainly don't get any sick days.

Some days are better than others, and some tasks are easier than others. Usually, by the end of the day, I might feel a little better and looser, only to face the next morning with a brand new start with pain and stiffness. It kind of makes me dread bedtime - knowing that I'll wake up the next day hurting again. Like I said before, though, I'm really hoping to find a medication that makes all of this history! I can't wait to have my body back to use as it is supposed to be used! I asked my friend if I will ever be able to run and chase and crawl with Banner without feeling this pain. I was relieved to hear that YES, I will get there! Once we find the right medication, I will be a better mommy to my boy, and I won't feel so run down. That, of course, was music to my ears - and I am holding on to that thought and to that image!
----
Note: I've added three new blogs about living with RA to my Blog Roll (on the right hand side of this page). Feel free to look around it for more information from these writers who deal with RA everyday. Some of what they say scares me because it's way worse than mine and I hope I am not headed in that direction - but most of it lets me know how NOT alone I am in my feelings and frustrations.)

Happy New Year!

To most Americans, it is not a new year just yet, but to Jews around the world, it is! The high holy days of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur signify the beginning of the Jewish new year. It has been a time to reflect on the past and on the self. And, as we enter this new season, I wanted to share how my family celebrated.

For Rosh Hashanah, I attended services at Temple with Mom, Bob, Kira, and Erick - as well as my aunt and uncle. Sam had to stay home with Banner that night. I have to say - I had a really good time at services - which is not something you would typically hear me say. Mostly, I enjoyed goofing off with Kira. It was her first time to attend services as a married woman, and her husband did not love us whispering through so much of the service, but it was just like old times. Mom used to always have to whisper to us in a sharp tone, "Do I need to separate you two?" And, this time, Erick was the one saying that. But, what can I say? I love my sister!

Goofing off at services - the service hadn't started yet!

The following day, Mom and Kira were not feeling well, so since most everyone was staying home, I decided half-way to Temple to turn around and spend the day with Sam and Banner. I decided to make it a home holiday. I watched services on the live streaming, which was kind of nice because I got to show Banner the Shofar service. For the first time, he got to see the shofar being blown loudly, and he was glued to the computer screen. So cool! We also made a Rosh Hashanah card for Grandma & Papa and a birthday card for Papa (whose birthday was that day). (Pictures below!) I also decided to try a new recipe I had found for an apple honey challah. It was a BIG task, but SO worth it! The recipe can be found here. It makes two challahs, so we ate one for Rosh Hashanah (just us at home), and we saved (froze) the other for Yom Kippur to share with the whole family. These challahs were AMAZING! If I had more time and patience, I'd make them a lot more often - but I'll only make these for special occasions since it takes a really long time - and a lot of work to knead this dough!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

      

Later that night, we all went out to celebrate Bob's birthday. Lots of fun pictures were taken there! Great way to start the new year!

For Yom Kippur, Sam and I went to services with Mom, Bob, Kira, my aunt, and my uncle. After services, we went to my mom's house for a home-cooked meal and visiting. Banner got to spend some extra time with his Aunt Gayle that night. The following morning, Kira, Bob, Sam, me, and my aunt and uncle went to morning services. (Mom wasn't feeling well.) I don't know why, but I really liked this service. The rabbis did the Torah portion, and in 32 years, I don't remember ever hearing a rabbi read from the Torah. I know, that sounds really weird, because you would think that rabbis would read from the Torah more than anyone else, but usually, a Torah reading is read by someone being honored or a Bar/Bat Mitzvah student. So, this was a real treat to hear 4 different rabbis read from the Torah. (They were doing this in memory of the woman who typically would read the Torah portion on Yom Kippur day. Ms. Fisher died earlier this year, and she was one of my Hebrew teachers so long ago.) Anyway, the service went pretty quickly, and then Sam and I went home to be with Banner, who had spent some extra time with his NaNa (Aunt Shelby). At this time, I finished decorating the cupcakes I made earlier that morning. The cupcakes were for dessert at our annual family Break Fast on Yom Kippur night at Uncle Freddy and Aunt Jacque's house.

My "Apple" Cupcakes (Apples & Honey are symbols for a sweet new year)

Landry playing with old school toys! Love it!

All the kids saying the blessing and breaking the fast

 Here's to a wonderful, sweet new year! L'Shana Tova!!

15 Month Check-Up

Dear Banner,
In addition to all the fun stuff you are doing and learning now at 15 months old, we saw Dr. B today for your well check-up, and man, are we impressed by all the awesome stuff he said about you! You are one healthy, active, happy little guy - which we already knew - but it's always nice to hear the doctor confirm that!

Today's visit started with you wanting to run around the waiting room. You had no interest in sitting still and on our laps... do you ever? When the nurse called your name, Daddy scooped you up and you said, "Hi!!" to the sweet nurse who replied, "Hi! Well, that is so nice!" Then, she weighed and measured you:

Weight: 24 pounds, 10.5 ounces = 50th percentile (you gained a little over a pound since you turned one)
Height: 30.5 inches = 40th percentile*
Head: 47.25 cm = 50th percentile

(*Note that at your 12 month check up, you measured 30.75 inches tall - which means either you shrunk (ha!) or, more likely, they mismeasured you at the 12 month appointment. At 9 months, you were 27 3/4 inches tall which is in the 35th percentile, and then you were in the 75th percentile at 12 months. So, there was definitely a mismeasurement somewhere - maybe even today... who knows!? I don't really care, as long as you are healthy. There's really not a lot I can do to change your height, so it is what it is! When you are 18 months, we'll get yet another measurement, so until then - I'm fine with a healthy, growing boy!)

Then, we waited for Dr. B to come examine you. During that time, you entertained Daddy and me with your running in place moves, your silly giggles, and your desire to want in and out of Daddy's chair. (You're kind of into sitting in chairs these days - just sitting nicely for about 1 minute - looking all around and at things from a new perspective. You look so funny when you do this.) Daddy and I also answered some questions about you at this age so that Dr. B could give us feedback about how you are doing developmentally.

When Dr. B came in - you were pretty friendly, which changed throughout the visit as he examined you! He told us that you were developmentally between a 16 month old and a 19.5 month old. He was really impressed with how many words you know... which we couldn't give an exact answer right away but told him it was at least a dozen. Given that at 15 months, he would expect you to have 3 words (not including Mama, Dada, and family members' names), he said you were doing great! Daddy even asked me when we left if I thought Dr. B thinks we were making it up! (When we got in the car, we started counting all the words we could think of that we hear you say: car, shoes, cracker, waffle, banana, more, door, dog, baba (not sure if that counts), baby, ball, apple, hhh for "hot" and coco for "cold" (again, not sure if this counts), bubble... and I'm sure there are more we didn't think of. But, the point is, we were not making it up!)

By the way, on the questionnaire, the areas we circled "No" to were: eating with a spoon/fork without spilling, drinking from a cup without a lid/spout without spilling, and building a tower with 3+ cubes (you can do 2 but not 3 yet - or maybe it's just that you want to knock it over before you're patient enough to get a third cube up there!). So, you better believe we will be working on these skills pretty soon!

We told Dr. B that you have a new habit of trying to bite us... which he says is very typical of kids your age. But, he wants us to start giving you a time-out when this happens. I'm not sure how I feel about this. He says that even if you simply attempt to bite us, we should take our attention away from you and ignore you by putting you in your crib (a safe place we can leave you) for one minute. I'm all for ignoring you when you act like this, and I typically just put you down and walk away from you. I'm not sure if I agree with the crib time out, so I have some thinking to do on that. I don't want you to associate your bed with negativity at all - you really like your crib. Oh, Banner Boone, one day you will see how very difficult these parental decision are! I love you so much and just want to do the best/right thing for you, which is so hard with not knowing for sure what that is!

Anyway, Dr. B looked you over from head to toe, and he said you are a healthy, growing boy. Here are some other things we talked about at your appointment:

• He said your bottom molars look like they are on their way up soon, but he still only sees 2 teeth on bottom and 6 on top. 
• We have to keep your carseat rear-facing until you are 2, which is a bummer because your legs are slowly getting to long for that seat to be facing a barrier! 
• We are allowed to up the DEET amount in your bug repellant to 30, which is good because you typically get lots of bites - you're too sweet! Speaking of, we asked Dr. B what to do when you get those nasty, swelling, hot bites. . . he says if you are not bothered by them we shouldn't be either. He said to just put some cortisone cream on it, and watch it over 24 hours or so. Hopefully, bug repellant will help ward off any of these nasty bites! 
• He wants us to continue to avoid nuts/nut products and uncooked honey. 
• We are still aiming for 16-24 ounces of whole milk a day (and he again encouraged me to drop all bottles - which we only have one of now at night).

Then it was time to go! But, first we had to get three shots: DTaP, Hep B/Hib combo, and a Flu shot. You were a champ! As usual, you cried when they gave you a shot in each leg, and when the third needle hit you you screamed even more. I hate having to hold my baby down for these, but I know the shots will keep you healthy and strong, and I'm all for that! I let you have your paci for these shots - a rare treat to have a pacifier out of your bedroom! And, afterward, the nurse let you get a fun, big, bouncy ball that you held tightly the whole way home!  As we speak, you are napping away, and I am one proud Mama at all your growth, development, healthiness, and bravery! Way to go, B!

For a Later Time...

I found this letter linked to Pinterest, and I love the way this mom writes to her third grader. One day, I hope I will share this with Banner as he starts school. I especially love the end, how she describes her love for her child not being dependent on him doing his best, getting all A's, winning contests, etc. She explains that she already loves him as much as she ever could and how that love will never be lost. What a great message she gives to her child, and as a school counselor, I wish every parent would encourage his/her child(ren) to be brave and kind. What a much better world we would live in if all kids had supportive parents like this, if all kids realized they could listen to their compassion when they hear it, and feel that they are loved no matter what. Read on...

Dear Chase,
Hey, baby.
Tomorrow is a big day. Third Grade – wow.

Chase – When I was in third grade, there was a little boy in my class named Adam.
Adam looked a little different and he wore funny clothes and sometimes he even smelled a little bit. Adam didn’t smile. He hung his head low and he never looked at anyone at all. Adam never did his homework. I don’t think his parents reminded him like yours do. The other kids teased Adam a lot. Whenever they did, his head hung lower and lower and lower. I never teased him, but I never told the other kids to stop, either.
And I never talked to Adam, not once. I never invited him to sit next to me at lunch, or to play with me at recess. Instead, he sat and played by himself. He must have been very lonely.
I still think about Adam every day. I wonder if Adam remembers me? Probably not. I bet if I’d asked him to play, just once, he’d still remember me.

I think that God puts people in our lives as gifts to us. The children in your class this year, they are some of God’s gifts to you.
So please treat each one like a gift from God. Every single one.
Baby, if you see a child being left out, or hurt, or teased, a part of your heart will hurt a little. Your daddy and I want you to trust that heart- ache. Your whole life, we want you to notice and trust your heart-ache. That heart ache is called compassion, and it is God’s signal to you to do something. It is God saying, Chase! Wake up! One of my babies is hurting! Do something to help! Whenever you feel compassion – be thrilled! It means God is speaking to you, and that is magic. It means He trusts you and needs you.
Sometimes the magic of compassion will make you step into the middle of a bad situation right away.
Compassion might lead you to tell a teaser to stop it and then ask the teased kid to play. You might invite a left-out kid to sit next to you at lunch. You might choose a kid for your team first who usually gets chosen last. These things will be hard to do, but you can do hard things.
Sometimes you will feel compassion but you won’t step in right away. That’s okay, too. You might choose instead to tell your teacher and then tell us. We are on your team – we are on your whole class’s team. Asking for help for someone who is hurting is not tattling, it is doing the right thing. If someone in your class needs help, please tell me, baby. We will make a plan to help together.

When God speaks to you by making your heart hurt for another, by giving you compassion, just do something. Please do not ignore God whispering to you. I so wish I had not ignored God when He spoke to me about Adam. I remember Him trying, I remember feeling compassion, but I chose fear over compassion. I wish I hadn’t. Adam could have used a friend and I could have, too.
Chase – We do not care if you are the smartest or fastest or coolest or funniest. There will be lots of contests at school, and we don’t care if you win a single one of them. We don’t care if you get straight As. We don’t care if the girls think you’re cute or whether you’re picked first or last for kickball at recess. We don’t care if you are your teacher’s favorite or not. We don’t care if you have the best clothes or most Pokemon cards or coolest gadgets. We just don’t care.
We don’t send you to school to become the best at anything at all. We already love you as much as we possibly could. You do not have to earn our love or pride and you can’t lose it. That’s done.
We send you to school to practice being brave and kind.
Kind people are brave people. Brave is not a feeling that you should wait for. It is a decision. It is a decision that compassion is more important than fear, than fitting in, than following the crowd.
Trust me, baby, it is. It is more important.
Don’t try to be the best this year, honey.
Just be grateful and kind and brave. That’s all you ever need to be.
Take care of those classmates of yours, and your teacher, too. You Belong to Each Other. You are one lucky boy . . . with all of these new gifts to unwrap this year.
I love you so much that my heart might explode.
Enjoy and cherish your gifts.
And thank you for being my favorite gift of all time.

Love,
Mama
From http://momastery.com/blog/2012/08/23/the-talk/
 

11 Years Ago, on the 11th Day of September

Dear Banner,

Throughout your life, you will hear stories of generations before you. You will learn about events in history that seem SO long ago that you'll wonder why you need to even bother learning them. You will sit in a social studies class and learn about ancient times, or at least what may seem like ancient times, and you will think these events have nothing to do with you. Your grandparents, aunts, uncles, and older cousins will want to share stories of their youth, of how life was when they were your age, or how different things are now. You already know that Daddy and I will share stories of our childhoods with you; in fact, I have already done that in a previous post about the 80's, the first decade of my life. I hope you will listen to these stories and truly want to know the people in your life and who they really are; I hope you will want to learn about where your people came from; I hope you will be intrigued and want to learn from their personal stories. And, I hope one day, you will realize that this "ancient history" isn't so far from your lifetime, and the stories you hear will bring you closer to understanding humanity, love, civility, compassion, and right from wrong.

Tonight, I am sitting here watching you sleep, all warm and cuddly in your crib. And, I have a strong urge to share an incredible story with you. (When I say "incredible" I mean literally "not believable.") I am not sure how I'll ever really explain the details of such an incredible story, but I'm going to do my best. This story is one all boys and girls need to know, it's part of the American story, and it's part of our collective psyche. It's the one story that makes me hate that I brought you into a world where such awful things can happen, but it's the same story that reminds me you were born in an amazing country full of courageous leaders, brave fighters, and noble heroes. It's the story of what will continue to be referred to as "9/11." This phrase refers to a date, September 11th, 2001. That seems like a long time ago, but for me, I can't believe it's already been 11 years.

I was a senior in college that year. I was heading to my 9:00 Reading class (a class where I was taught how to teach reading) in the education building. I decided to take the bus that day - as I did on and off throughout the semester. I was reading a book and trying to focus on it, but as the bus came to a red light and stopped, I couldn't help but overhear the driver's radio that continued to talk about an airplane hitting the World Trade Center in New York. I thought to myself, "What a horrible accident!" I wondered what had happened that a pilot couldn't avoid hitting a tall building like that. The World Trade Center had two towers that rose extremely high in the skyline over the city. It was an unmistakable landmark. How could a pilot ram right into it? A few moments later, still on the bus, I heard the voice describe that yet another plane had crashed into the other tower of the Trade Center. Now, I'm a smart woman, but this idea was so beyond me that I continued to think it was an accident. I kept thinking, "What are the odds of that?!! What is going on?" It never occurred to me that our great country was under attack. Not once. That is until I heard of another plane hitting the Pentagon in Washington, D.C.  By the time I heard about the Pentagon attack, I was off the bus and in my classroom - where all of my classmates were sharing what news they had heard. The professor began class, and she seemed quite shaken herself. She was one of my favorite teachers that year - and she was very willing to let us all just talk and share what we knew. Some of my classmates were getting cell phone calls, and they would leave the classroom to hear more information. One classmate came back once with news that there was another airplane that had gone down in a field, and later in the hour, she came back saying that one of the World Trade Center towers had collapsed.

We were in complete shock, and the teacher soon asked if we all just wanted to go home. The class agreed that we should all get home and just stay safe. The University of Texas is a large campus, and we had no idea how many planes were involved, so we were not sure if we were safe to take buses home, if campus was safe, if our homes were safe. It was a very scary time. The only thing I wanted to do was hear my mom's voice, to make sure my family was safe, especially your cousin Brennan who lived in New York then, and I wanted to see Daddy. I did take the bus home that day, because I wanted to get home fast. I know I talked to Aunt Kira pretty soon after that, and Daddy came over to my apartment where we watched the news all week. (At that time, he was a resident assistant at a local dorm, but he stayed with me instead of being at the dorm.) Over and over again, every channel on TV showed the crashing of the planes and the falling of both towers (the other WTC tower collapsed soon after the first one fell). The world would never be the same.

For days, the country just shut down. It was a scary time. It was an awful time. It was a horrible image to get out of your mind, and over and over again, the media would show more footage of the debris, the attack, the pictures of people who were missing, the exhaustion of the firefighters and police officers who labored at Ground Zero. Flags flew in peoples' yards and at stores. The regular television schedule was put on hold for many days; in fact, I remember when Jay Leno first came back on after at least a week of not being able to air his Late Night show. He was teary, and the beginning of his show was very quiet and somber. The whole country, even our comedians, were in shock and in mourning.

We mourned a world where we felt safe. We mourned the men and women who unknowingly boarded a plane to get to a business meeting or to get home and, instead, became part of an ugly, evil, terrorist attack plan.  We mourned the police officers, firefighters, and other rescue workers who willingly went TOWARDS the attack to help others and never came out. We mourned the men, women, and children who were simply going about their normal routines at work who had no idea the floor would literally be pulled out from under them that morning. We mourned with the families who lost their mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, and friends. We mourned with all those children who would never see their parent(s) again.

We mourned for a long time, and we still do. Our world was changed, and life is not the same as it was before 9/11. I think we, as a country, have done what we know to do to make ourselves safer without being paranoid and letting the wrong-doers take our freedom away. It's a fine line between giving them too much power and protecting ourselves. I am sorry that you will never know a pre-9/11 world. I am sorry that "terrorism" is a part of our vocabulary at all. I am sorry that your generation will have to work so hard to continue fighting terrorists who wish to take away your freedom, your safety, your peace of mind. But, I have no question that this country will continue to fight for your safety and protection. I have no question that we are on the "right" side of this war on terror.

While 9/11 didn't affect me as personally as it did thousands of other people, we are all a united family. We, as a country, and even as a world, were reminded that there is no promise of a tomorrow. Life can change in an instant - one tiny instant. My sweet boy, cherish every day you have, thank those around you for their work and service, give and show love to the people who mean the most to you, and don't put your dreams on hold. Never forget these important stories, because I'd much rather you learn vicariously than to ever experience such horrible events.

I once saw this in a Macy's ad:

"Today, in your own way, remember and reflect September 11, 2001: Hug your children, spend the day with family, call an old friend, plant a tree in tribute, light a candle, share your thoughts, volunteer your time, take a moment for yourself, be there for someone else, watch the sunset, look forward to sunrise."

Tonight, Daddy and I did just that with you - on your second Patriot Day (the name given to 9/11 by President George W. Bush when he declared it a national holiday). We hugged you (like we do every day, several times a day), we spent time together, we walked up to the park together (you basically ran - and mostly anywhere but on the sidewalk), we enjoyed the sunset, and we played hard. You are such a happy boy, and I hope you will always live your life with as much passion, humor, joy, silliness, adventure, and love as you did today!
Love,
Mommy

Our own Star Spangled Banner at our house

Kira & Erick's Wedding Weekend

I have to be honest and say that I the busy-ness and the stress of getting ready for Kira & Erick's wedding weekend was weighing on me.... physically, mentally, emotionally, and perhaps even financially. I was annoyed that I was stressed out about it, because I so wanted to be able to help Kira and my mom more, but having Banner to take care of and having my health issues get in the way was making the whole task of preparing for a big, special weekend way more difficult. I started to feel like I couldn't wait until it was over and done with... which I know sounds awful, because really and truly I was so excited to spend a whole weekend celebrating my little sister and my new brother-in-law! I was excited to see all the plans and the details come together in front of so many friends and family. But, the stress of trying to get everything ready in time (my attire, Banner and Sam's attire, my toast, my rehearsal dinner speech, the DVD I made for them, gifts, and a few practices of a few surprises) was beginning to be more than I could handle. I had no reason to complain, as Kira and Mom were WAY busier and more stressed out than I was, but that was part of it too - I missed just hanging out with them and not worrying about all the wedding shenanigans.

But, now that their wedding has come and gone, I'm suffering from a bit of post-wedding-blues. I miss her weekend, almost like I miss my own wedding. I can't stop replaying the details, and I kinda want to do it all over again!! What a fun, fantastic, fabulous weekend it was - and it all went so smoothly!

Here are a few of my favorite weekend moments:

• By far, my absolute favorite moment was at the Ketubah signing. The rabbi asked Kira & Erick to stand on opposite sides of the room. He then asked Kira's family and friends to surround her and Erick's family and friends to surround him. Standing as part of Kira's family/friend circle, I felt a strong bond with everyone there, and I loved our family being a support for her. I will never forget that moment. The rabbi asked that we share words of advice and wisdom with Kira while we surrounded her. There she was, looking absolutely gorgeous, holding back tears, taking it all in. As I heard the familiar voices of my loved ones calling out loving words to one of my favorite people, I couldn't help but be overwhelmed by emotion. She looked at me at one point - again, as she was trying to breathe and take it all in - and we both teared up. "We're always here for you," "Just breathe," "Live in the moment," "Take in the sights, the smells, the sounds," "Remember who you are and where you came from," were some of the phrases I remember hearing. Mostly, it was an overwhelmingly powerful moment - to just take a pause in the chaos that surrounds a big wedding - and to feel the support and the embrace from a (literally) tight family circle.

• As I wrote about in Banner's 15 month newsletter,  one of my favorite moments was when we all walked into the ballroom, right before walking down the aisle. The wedding party was hidden behind beautiful white curtains, and we had just left the emotional Ketubah signing. Before we lined up in the proper order, Kira, Mom, and I held each others' hands, and the string quartet's music overwhelmed me and Kira with emotion. We looked at each other, again, and teared up, again! We quickly had to distract ourselves to stop the tears and to preserve our make-up! :) I found Sam who was holding Banner, and he was so quiet. He was calm and somber. At one point, I peeked outside to the hallway to thank my sisters-in-law for helping with Banner - I knew I wouldn't see them after Banner walked down the aisle and then was escorted out of the ceremony room. When I came back in, Banner and I made eye contact, and his poor little face looked so sad - bottom lip completely protruding into a full pout. I quickly went to reassure him that I was staying; I bounced and rocked him and tried to be upbeat to avoid a meltdown - which worked. But, then, a few moments later, a much more melancholy song was played, and he once again shoved his lower lip out and tears lined his eyelids. Honestly, the only reason I think this happened was because he was so overcome by the music. I know that sounds crazy - because he's so young, but he loves music and responds to it. We were all in the moment, and I think Banner was, too. I think he knew it was an important event, that this particular instant was beautiful and serene. I was the last to walk down the aisle in front of Banner, so I missed half of his walk, but he did fantastic - no tears, no complaining, no venturing off the aisle-runner. He was spot on! He made me so proud.

• I loved rehearsal dinner - all of it! The food was great, the company was fantastic, and the speeches were amazing. I liked giving my speech (which I posted previously), I liked listening to how others love my sister and her then-fiance. I loved learning more about Erick, and I was so proud to be a part of the night. I especially loved Erick's little sister, Jacque's, speech. She was emotional speaking about her brother, as was her older sister, Nancy, and their mom. Watching their family, I had a new understanding and appreciation for why MY little sister loves this family so much. I'm pleased and relieved to know (even though I knew this a long time ago) that my sister is becoming part of such a loving, close family. I "MC-ed" the rehearsal dinner, and as much as I hate being in front of others - I was happy to do it for my sister, and I kind of got the knack of it after a while. I loved knowing that Kira & Erick liked the video I made for them, as well. It was good to share it with everyone there. 

• The week before the wedding, Erick, his sisters, his nieces, Mom, Mischelle, Mara, and I got together to rehearse a surprise dance performance. Long story short - one of our family's favorite television shows growing up was The Cosby Show, and one of our all-time favorite episodes is the "Anniversary" episode, where the family is celebrating Dr. Huxtable's parents. The family does a dance, where Rudy stars front and center lip sinking her heart out. Well, we decided this would be a great surprise for Kira, and Erick was a willing participant. After coordinating our many hectic schedules, we got together at my house to learn the dance moves and put the whole surprise together. I really enjoyed practicing; I really enjoyed getting to goof off with Erick's sisters and nieces. The actual performance went well - Caden played the first male part, and Erick surprised Kira by joining our performance at the very end. Our dance didn't look as perfect as it had the day before or even the week before during rehearsals, but it was fun, and the look on Kira's face was priceless. I think in the heat of the moment and with all the excitement, we kinda blew it on our counts and our dance line was way off - but who cares! The kids did great, and we had fun. That's all that matters, right?

• I sang at the wedding. This is not necessarily a favorite memory, but it's worth mentioning here because, well... I sang. In front of people. In front of people without Kira. FOR Kira. Here's what I said for my toast: 

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Good evening, everyone! For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Amber, and I am Kira’s sister and Erick’s sister-in-law. Years ago, I met Erick shortly after he started dating Kira. She introduced him to my family at an art gallery where she had a singing gig. It was the perfect venue that brought together their two passions – art and music. These newlyweds are some of the most creative people I know, and that’s a good thing because marriage is an opportunity to create. This night is only a glimpse into what amazing things this beautiful couple will create. I don’t want to tell stories or give advice, you heard enough of that last night. I want to cut right to the chase and tell you, Erick, that you are one lucky guy! I’ve lived with Kira for 27 of her 30 years. She was my first roommate, she has been through every major and minor milestone in my life, she’s grown up right along side me, and she’s sung the soundtrack of my life. In fact, she’s added melody and harmony to a lot of people’s lives. She’s serenaded brides and grooms in our family, held our newborns at their baby namings and blessed them with song, sat at our bedsides with a special tune when we were sick or fighting disease, rocked our little ones to sleep with her sweet, calming voice, and even lulled my grandfather as he took his last breaths. In a letter Kira wrote to my son, she quoted: “Music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest, heals the heart and makes it whole, and flows from heaven to the soul.”  To me, Kira is the music, and I’m certain Erick feels the same way tonight. She’s always the one entertaining others. I thought about serenading Kira tonight, standing up here and singing like she always does for everyone else, but if I were going to do that, I’d need her to coach me and tell me when to use my chest voice, when to use my head voice, or when to use less vibrato. I’d need weeks of training to even come close to sounding as good as one of Kira’s “bad” notes. If I were to sing, I would have selected a song that thanks Kira for all the joy she’s brought to my life, the gifts she’s given me by being MY teacher, how proud of her I am. Oh, what the hell… I’ll sing. But, I’m warning you, the only audience I’ve had is a 14 month old boy who stares at anyone who utters any kind of melody. So, Kira… go easy on me!

  And then, I sang! I sang Thank You for the Music. I wasn't great, I wasn't awful, and I'm glad I did it. I knew I would either regret not doing it or regret doing it. I'm glad I don't regret anything, actually. I sounded a lot better in my car, without an audience, but Kira was pleased, even turning to Erick right before I started the song to say, "This is big!" because she knows I'm not one to sing in front others unless she's singing with me - and even THEN it's a challenge! But, I always said I wanted to sing this particular song at her wedding.

• Another favorite memory was during the Hora, a Jewish circle dance. Typically, after the bride and groom are lifted into the air on chairs, the parents of the bride and groom are also lifted, as the community celebrates their joy with them. Both the groom's father and the bride's father were not in attendance during this dance - for different reasons I won't get into in this post. . . but, anyway, instead, both mothers were lifted at the same time. It's a rare image - to see only the moms, but I absolutely loved this. I was a tad bit emotional watching these strong women celebrate together - as all the guests cheered, clapped, and danced around them. Up and down their chairs went, and all I could think about was how rewarding that must be for them after raising their kids so right through hardships and struggles. I thought of how much they both have given to their children and how they did it mostly alone. What survivors these amazing women are, and what a fabulous tribute to them. I will remember the image of my mom bouncing in her chair along side Lucy, Erick's mom, and I will forever feel gratitude, pride, and love for both of them.

• Lastly, I will always remember the few moments alone with Kira as we exchanged gifts to each other before we had our hair and make-up done that morning. I took Kira aside, into the room next door, and I handed her a card and a small gift. The gift was a book called Big Sister, Little Sister that Mom used to read to us when we were little. I wrote a note inside, too, and she teared up reading it - which made me tear up. Then, it was my turn to open a surprise gift she got me. It was a Willowtree statuette of two grown sisters walking and talking together. They walked holding hands, and I immediately burst into tears. The weird thing is, I had looked for one of these Willowtree figures a few weeks before, and I couldn't find a sisters piece other than the one Kira and I already have of two young girls playing. So, to see this figurine was perfect, and it reminded me that Kira and I will always walk hand-in-hand no matter what our futures bring. I went into the ugly cry as I held her close to me. I was SO glad I hadn't had my make-up done yet or it would have been completely ruined! I will always remember that hug and how much love I felt (and always feel) for her.

I really could go on and on - I could write about their first dance, how we entered the reception, watching my dad and Kira dance, taking Kira to the bathroom and maneuvering her dress like only a sister or a best friend could, and their departure that night. Such a beautiful weekend. Such a beautiful couple. Such beautiful memories. Thank you, Kira & Erick, for the honor of participating in such a special way. I love you both so much. Happy ONE WEEK (and one day) Anniversary!! Here's to years and years of more weeks and days!!

Leather Anniversary

Last year, Sam and I celebrated our cotton anniversary, and the year before that, our paper anniversary. This year, we had our leather anniversary, and what a fabulous time we have had celebrating the birth of our marriage! Our actual anniversary was this past Thursday, September 6th. That night, my sister (the newlywed - which I will post about in the next day or so!), came over to babysit Banner while Sam and I went to dinner. When Kira got here, she presented us with a thoughtful anniversary gift - mostly for Banner - but we'll take it! :) We had a very nice time getting out of the house - and we used a gift card, so we didn't have to spend a penny... what a treat!

Aunt Kira gave Banner a cow toy - get it? Leather?

We decided to really celebrate during the weekend. So, on Saturday night, Sam and I took Banner over to spend the night at my mom's house.

Family pic before our night out

Banner & Grandma's date begins

Mommy & Daddy's date begins

Samber

Our first stop was at a local restaurant that I just love - and my former colleagues had given me a gift card to this restaurant several months before - so again, we didn't have to spend any money. We both ate everything on our plates, it was so, so delicious! Full and completely satisfied, we drove towards the hotel where we were married. In the shopping center literally down the street, we bought some ice cream and sat by the pond enjoying some down time just the two of us. We took a look around the hotel reminiscing, and then we headed over to the theater down the street and saw the worst movie ever! We were really hoping to see a different film, but we missed that showing by about 10 minutes (even before we got ice cream and had to wait for another movie). We ended up seeing Bachelorette, a movie we thought looked okay - maybe even a little funny. I thought it was the worst movie I've ever seen. I was glad it wasn't terribly long, and after trying to peel my eyelids open on the ride home (around 11:30pm...way past my bedtime!), Sam and I exchanged gifts. He gave me a beautiful card that made me laugh and cry all at once. His note inside perfectly reflected our past year together. Then, I opened my gift, a leather back/neck massager, which I haven't tried yet. It is perfect to help me relax a bit more!! Next, he opened the gift I gave him, a leather desk set, which he can use as he builds his new business.

Our evening concluded with a viewing of "Our Third Year," a DVD slideshow I made for Sam which documents our past year. This "tradition" started on our first anniversary, and I've continued it now for the third time. While it takes a lot of work and time, and it requires me taking notes throughout the year in my calendar(s), it's so worth it! It helps us reflect back on what we've accomplished, survived, witnessed, been a part of - and how we've grown as a couple. It will be a nice gift we can pass along to our children one day too - so they can see what all their parents have been up to for years and years! The rest of our family appreciates this "tradition" too - as they get to reflect on the events of the past year through our eyes, and they get to see how much we love them and celebrate them, as well. In fact, just tonight, we had a "viewing" at my mom's house, and Kira turned to me and said how much she loves that I do this. It's a good reminder for everyone just how much we need each other. We couldn't make it through this journey without each other - without our friends and our family.

Oh, what a challenging, painful, glorious year it was - all in one. Banner's first birthday, Brycen was born, Kira's wedding, Shelby's wedding, we lost my grandpa, and most shocking and painful was losing Sam's mom. We celebrated Sam's 30th, I resigned, he started a new firm, and we saw a lot of Banner's firsts!

Each year, the traditional anniversary gifts represent more and more durable items. First paper, then cotton, now leather. Leather is soft, though, and it still needs a lot of care and protection - just like our young marriage. Sometimes I still can't believe that we're only 3 years in; it feels like so much more - especially given our long history. When I tuck Banner in before he is another month older, I want to slow down time. I cry as I long for my newborn and hold my toddler close - knowing these early days are fleeting. But, on the eve of our anniversary, I hugged Sam tightly and said, "I can't wait until tomorrow." Each anniversary feels like confirmation that we did a great thing. I look forward to our anniversaries, even our "monthiversaries," as our love gets "older." I am so lucky to have this wonderful man in my life who treats me so well, who loves our son so well, who provides for us, who respects me, who laughs with me, who loves spending time with me and everyone else he loves. I married my very best friend, and I love him with all my heart. I can't imagine my life without him, and I hope I never have to find out what that feels like. I am beyond grateful for each day we have together, and I hope I spend the rest of my life making a yearly anniversary video for him. Sam, I love you, love you, love you! Happy Leather Anniversary!

15 Month Newsletter

Dear Banner,
Today, you turned 15 months old! This month flew by - we were very busy! You were in two weddings this month. The first was at NaNa & Uncle Paul's wedding, which was at our house. You refused to walk down the hallway and into the living room before the bride, because you wanted your Zaide. He helped you follow cousins Miles and Colby, and then you sat nicely through the ceremony, sharing (and then being stingy with) your snack cup with Bryce. You were also in Aunt Kira & Uncle Erick's wedding. You got to wear a tux, and although I was really worried about how you would do walking down the aisle because you are so busy and into everything, you did very well. Right before we walked down the aisle, I peeked outside the ballroom and into the hallway to quietly thank Aunt Gayle & NaNa for helping with you all day and night. I think you thought I was leaving, because as I turned back to come in the ballroom, your lip was pouting out like I've never seen. I went to Daddy, who was holding you, and I gently held you and rocked you to help you calm down before your tearing eyes turned into full force cries, which luckily did not occur. As the string quartet played their music, you got very quiet at one particular song. I think you could feel the serenity, beauty, and seriousness of the important event that was taking place, and you got kind of teary again - kind of like Aunt Kira & I did as we gave each other a hug and kiss before Grandma gave her away. Again, I was worried that you would start crying when you saw the number of people staring at you - it would have scared me at your age (and it still does!). But, I put you down right before Uncle Brock and I walked down the aisle to greet Uncle Erick under the chuppah. You took Caden's hand and Ralphy's hand, and you looked awesome! Zaide waited for you at the front of the room, and he helped take you out once you made your way towards the chuppah. You did great! I am so proud of you, and I'm so proud to be your mommy.

So, what else have you been up to?

• You have at least 2 new teeth - your upper molars. I felt like the worst mommy a couple weeks ago when I had been wondering why you were "biting" all the time - but the two lower side teeth still weren't showing at all. I was looking in the wrong place for the past several months!! I thought you'd get the two teeth next to your bottom, middle teeth - but I was wrong. You have 6 teeth on top and only 2 on bottom now. Although, I think I'm seeing the very faint signs that those side teeth I've been waiting on for so long are finally coming through. You're not very cooperative when it comes to checking, so I don't bother. I figure they'll come in their own time, and there's really nothing I can do to help or hurry them along. Other than biting and drooling some, you show no other signs of teething when your teeth are stirring under those gums. I appreciate this a lot - as you are not cranky at all when you are getting teeth, but I worry because I don't know how uncomfortable you may be until after the fact. You seem so happy-go-lucky so much of the time, and you rarely "complain" when you are hurting. Your pain tolerance seems pretty high. In fact, you have another bad bug bite on your right hand right now, and it's really swollen and puffy. You never scratch it or show signs that it bothers you. But, I still worry about it. It bothers me just looking at it - because I get like that too after a bite, especially when it's on my hands or feet, and I feel your pain!

• You started gymnastics class this month. You've had 2 lessons and have gone to open gym twice, too. When I registered you, Ms. Becky, your teacher, told me that it's not uncommon for the kids in the baby class to cry the whole time and want to be held. Ha! I told her I had no question you would be just fine but that I was more worried about you not wanting to stay with the group and wanting to roam all over the place to explore. And.... I was right. You loved the equipment and wanted to touch everything - including (and mostly) the stereo system. Even when Ms. Becky blew bubbles that didn't even pop when they hit the mat, you had no interest - you were too busy wanting to turn knobs on or stare at the stereo. You've recently developed an obsession with speakers, and you are seemingly trying to figure out how they work. How does the sound come out of there? (You even stare at the speakers at the grocery store - you'll hear where the music is coming from and stare at it while I go up and down the aisles). Anyway, at gymnastics, so far, your favorite is probably the trampoline and the pit, and you have no interest in the beam. You like to do forward rolls (with help of course); you go around putting your head down on the ground in a tripod stance, and wait for someone to help you turn over. You've always liked this!

• Gymnastics is good for you because you are so active. In my opinion, you've always been physically advanced - strong from day one! It's no wonder my baby who could hold his head up within the first week of life is loving running and climbing. Furthermore, your motor planning is impeccable. I'm always so impressed with the placement and balance of your body. These days, you run in place, climb all over the couches and fireplace, and enjoy swimming. You are getting way harder to keep up with! Mommy was just diagnosed with arthritis, and even though the doctors are trying hard to figure out what medications and treatments will help, I'm so overwhelmed with how physically active you are. You have mastered getting on our couches and chairs on your own. You have NOT mastered how to get down - although from time to time, you can do it on your own quite eloquently. I love watching you figure out how to maneuver yourself down, but you scare me so much of the time. I hear this is all typical of "boy behavior," but sheesh! You wear me out! You rarely stay in one place for longer than a few minutes, unless I'm actively involved in playing with you or if we're reading a book - or you're really tired. At play group and at birthday parties, it's exhausting because you are much more curious about exploring and walking/running around than of staying in once place where all the toys are.

• Toys are old news! You want pots, pans, spatulas, containers, paper bags, boxes, skillets, and anything out of the refrigerator or under our bathroom sinks. You have figured out how to open the childproof drawers and cabinets (making the money we spent on babyproofing completely a waste!), so Daddy is slowly but surely installing magnetic locks that require a special key. You're just too precious to us and too smart for your own good, so we have to have a better game plan for you! Most of the cabinets, I don't mind that you get into - although it creates SUCH as mess - and quite an obstacle course when I'm cooking in the kitchen. By the end of each day, there's usually 2-3 pieces of cookware on the floor, 4-6 utensils (turners, spatulas, spoons), a colander, and 3-4 "Snapware" containers with a mixed assortment of lids all over the kitchen floor. More than anything, I'm terrified of slipping on them and making my knee issues even worse, but I love watching you bring blocks, balls, stacking cups, etc and putting them in your pot to stir them as I make dinner. One day, I'm sure you'll be quite a helper in the kitchen, and I can't wait to cook with you!

• Your vocabulary is still rapidly increasing. You repeat most anything we ask you to - even if it doesn't sound exactly like what we said. You can say "boy" clear as day, and it's the cutest "boy" I've ever heard! Yesterday, you wanted more bread, and when I said, "roll," you tried to repeat it, but instead all you could get out was "roy." You now know the sounds for sheep, duck, lion/tiger, monkey, cow, and sometimes snake. You can identify lots of animals including elephant, horse, duck, monkey, dog. We've been practicing counting a lot; I guide your finger to count things on a page - mostly with counting books, but even at night with your "Goodnight Shema" book - you like to count the stars on the last page. You are really into identifying people in a picture. You can point to Kiki, Grandma, Papa, Dada, Mama, NaNa, Aunt Gayle, Uncle Brock, Big Boss, Mara, and sometimes other people. You especially like to find Daddy and Mommy in pictures.

• You are going to bed around 8:00 each night (we start your bedtime routine with a bath around 7:35). You wake up around 7:30-8:00 most days, with a few exceptions every now and then - either earlier or later. You have two bottles still - a morning and a night time bottle, and you have another serving of milk during the day - but in a sippy cup. Soon, we'll wean you off the morning bottle, but I still want you to have a enough calcium without fighting you on it yet. We'll see Dr. B next week, so he may have some suggestions - or he'll yell at me a bit! :) 

• You are such a sweet little boy. You share things with others, you say "Hi!" with a bright smile on your face when someone walks into the room/house, you hug and kiss people more often than before, and you've gotten a bit shy this month when around a new person/situation. Daddy and I love when you just "lay keppe" (lay your head down) on our shoulders. You did this a lot during the rehearsal for Uncle Erick & Aunt Kira's wedding. You smile at others, wave "hello" and "bye-bye," and can be very social and loud after you've warmed up to someone. You're making more funny faces, and we are so enjoying your very funny sense of humor.

Here are some pictures from this month, my sweet angel. I love you so much and look forward to what this month will bring! I love you, Banner!
Love,
Mommy

"Playing" on your speedway

Yellow bath tablets- NOT pee! :)

Caden, you, and Ralphy

This is us trying to get your attention - typical picture taking!

A rare moment when you looked at the camera! This is at Myka's birthday party earlier today.