Little Time Left

At 38 weeks pregnant, I'm doing a little reflecting. I can't wait to meet my little boy, but I'm in no hurry to have him out of his safe first home and in this scary, unpredictable world. I think about him in his little cocoon right now, wondering what he might be thinking. I picture him all cozy and snuggled up tight, wondering if he wonders what's going on out here as much as I'm wondering what's going on in there! I feel his little body come to the surface of my belly, and I touch his back so gently - only a few layers of skin, fat, blood, and uterus separating us. I wonder if he's thinking, "What's that?" And, pretty soon, neither of us will have to wonder at all. How very exciting!

But, in the little time left with a bun in this oven, I am finding myself feeling a little sad, too. Just like in my previous posting about having Sam all to myself right now, here I am with this little guy inside me all to myself. As soon as he comes out, he belongs to the world - to his father, his aunts, his uncles, his cousins, his grandparents, his friends, his teachers, etc. I will have to share him with so many people. So, I'm enjoying having him all wrapped up in me, while I'm all wrapped up in him all to myself.

Call me selfish, but it's the coolest thing - as I've mentioned to Sam - having both of my guys to just me. I can't wait for them to meet each other, of course, but it's neat to know I get them both to myself right now. I know I would much rather have BBJ in my arms and not in my belly, and I can't wait to see his little face and hold his tiny hands, but I'll miss being pregnant with him. I'll miss knowing that he's in the safest place he could possibly be. He's so well protected; I know where he is at all times; no one can cough on him or spread their germs to him; he can't trip or bump his head; he's fully nourished and sleeping well; he's developing more rapidly now than he ever will later.

I also know that as soon as BBJ is born, there is no turning back! There will be no more days of childless life. No more sleeping in until noon, no more running a "quick errand" or going to a late movie at a moment's notice. No more sleeping through the night without hearing every tiny noise. No more doing what I want to do - when I want to do it. No more not worrying about the last time someone else ate or slept or peed or pooped. Even our soon-to-be pediatrician said goodbye to us after an interview a couple months ago saying to embrace this time we have left without a child - he encouraged us to go to movies and go on dates. Of course, we have done those things, and we will continue to do them even with a baby, but it certainly won't be as often or as easy an outing as before.

With the little time left before we meet our son, we are taking full advantage of our baby-less time - cleaning house, shopping for last minute baby items, grocery shopping, preparing meals to freeze, writing our wills, paying bills, writing thank you notes, spending time with friends and family, cuddling on the couch, taking in the dry cleaning, getting hair cuts and car washes, installing the monitor and the car seat, washing baby clothes and sheets, and taking care of as much as we can at work before B-Day arrives. But, I know with the little time left, there's always going to be more to do before BBJ is here. Yet, oh, how exciting that he is almost here - that there is such little time left!