TEN WHOLE YEARS!! (Quinn's Newsletter)

Dear Quinn,

Two whole hands! Double digits! I can't believe a whole decade has passed since I touched those rosy-pink cheeks, watched you pee all over the OR nurses, and held you for the first time. Just remembering back to those first precious moments make me realize just how much you are still very much the same now. Let me lay it out for you: you snuggled so perfectly with me, like our bodies were meant to shape to each other; you rarely fussed and just wanted to be held; you cooperated while nursing even though it wasn't easy; you were calm and quiet. This is you now - with a little more silly and funny that comes out when you are in your element. You are brilliant and kind and thoughtful. You're affectionate, creative, genuine, passionate, and warm.

Let me tell you what you're up to lately:

• You love to talk! You remind me of me (now and as a kid) wanting to share every detail with my mom. I hear about your day, about your learning, about whatever YouTube short you just watched. You have so many words and want to use up every last one of them. I love it! But there are times when I have to stop you so we can move on with the next task. You'll forget to eat or get your shoes on or go brush your teeth when I ask because you are still telling me a story. 
• You are brilliant! Learning comes very easily for you. You love to learn. You're curious, inquisitive, and eager. You have high hopes of going to Harvard one day. You love to read and never have enough time to do all the things you want to do.
• Going to sleep has been a real struggle for you these days. You don't want Dad or me to leave your room. You are scared or worried about pretty big stuff: dying, something "bad" happening, or just being alone. We've noticed that you tend to have anxiety in the fall for whatever reason, so I'm hoping these fears and concerns subside in the coming months - if not sooner. I honestly think a lot of your anxiety comes from too much downtime at school this time of year. You're quick to finish your assignments, you aren't necessarily being challenged just yet, and you have too much time to sit and think. You've come home from school telling me you sat in class worrying about something bad happening. I don't know what really happens; this is just a theory. It breaks my heart, because I don't really know what to do to help you.
• You thoroughly enjoyed playing baseball in the spring. You learned quickly and took it very seriously. I loved your enthusiasm and effort you put in. You also joined a basketball team again, and while you liked it, it wasn't your favorite.
• One thing that worries me is that you tend to place blame on others rather than owning it when something doesn't go your way. If your team lost, it was because of the "bad ref." If your grade level lost a competition at school, it's because it was "rigged" or the other grade level "cheated." If your teacher got onto you about something, then "she's mean" and "doesn't notice that the other kids were doing it, too." This is called an external locus of control, and it means that you think other people or luck determine what happens to you. This is not true, and you have to start owning it when things don't go as you want. I do believe you have a growth mindset and know that things can be tough; and you're willing to put in hard work and effort. You're willing to fail and try again. But too often you settle on blaming others for poor outcomes. It's definitely something we are working on.
• You are just so very sentimental - just like your mama! In December, you told me you want a new menorah for Hanukkah. In the meantime, you wanted to use the one my mom, your Grandma, had given to me in 1994 (when I was 14). You asked if I would leave this menorah to you when I'm no longer here, saying you would pass it on to your children and so on. You started cleaning off the wax from earlier uses, and then you said, "Maybe I should leave it on since it's special." 
• You had a blast at camp this past summer. It was your first full session at GFC, and you loved Maccabiah, getting to do some archery, going on "raids," and trying white peaches.
• You adore your baby cousin, Zavier! You think he's the cutest baby on the planet and love to entertain him when we are with him. You're also the first one to volunteer to play with Tova when she's bored, even if it means giving up some screen time.
• We had your appointment with Dr. B., and all is going well! You're a healthy kid! Here are your stats:
• Height: 54.75 inches = 65th percentile
• Weight: 90 pounds = 88th percentile
• BMI: 21.1 = 90th percentile
• You have started biting on fingers a little bit. I'm not totally sure if it's a cuticle thing, a nail thing, or just a nervous habit, but it started this year, and it hasn't let up just yet. You've always rubbed a finger across your lips or mustache area when you're anxious or nervous. I can be like this, too. Biting on my lip or not wanting people to see my whole face when I'm feeling uncomfortable. 
• You are a creative kid. Earlier this year, you put together a whole one-man show for us. It was set to  a music playlist you created called "Blue Show."  It had a lot of songs from the Sneaky Sasquatch album and some Disney songs. It was very entertaining! Your art is always spot-on, also! You took an art class after school last year, and we were always so impressed. I used to love the days you had art; I couldn't wait to see what you would bring home. Indoor recess also warranted some great art and creative games or books you'd come up with. You also make up your own dances and jokes and are constantly entertaining us with these. 
• Things that frustrate you - often resulting in the words "Come on!" afterward: that Ms. Swearingen wants you to write in cursive during PACE, when Knox takes things without asking, being reprimanded, that Gravity Falls didn't have a third season, when people interrupt you, when no one in your group listens to your ideas, orange Flintstones gummies (haha!)
• Things you love: broccoli, Dr. Pepper, Nerdvana, Prime, Friends episodes, sleeping in our bed or when one of us sleeps with you, your cousins, blue, reading, eating, baking, Legos, slime, Fortnite, Tova, Imagine Dragons, CG5, tchotchkes! 

We celebrated your birthday at Activate, a new favorite high-tech immersive gaming venue near our house. You had 14 friends join you and your brothers for fun, pizza, and cake. In addition, I ate lunch with you at school the day before your birthday and at night read your much-anticipated "I Believe," we did our usual donuts, balloons, and chair photos the morning of your birthday, and we had Tokyo Harbor and Menchie's for dinner and dessert. We watched a couple of Friends episodes, and then you got to sleep in our bed at the end of the night. 

As we went to bed, I asked you if you had a good birthday. You said you did, but you also said that you didn't want to turn 10, and yet you did want to turn 10. You said it's all going so fast. You're right. Childhood is fleeting, a momentary blip in time. These days are going all too quickly, and I love that you embrace them and recognize how special they are. When we watched our anniversary video earlier this week, you cried at night saying you missed all the fun things we did this year: New York, Broken Bow, camp. You know it goes fast, and you want those special times back. One night, earlier this year, you cried to me saying you just really felt Winnie the Pooh's words: "How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." Through your sobs, you said, "It's too much. I can't handle it. It's too bittersweet. I can't handle it." You are well aware of how fortunate you are, and you cry because you are so gracious. You also know that when fun, special times end, you will miss them deeply. It's a bittersweet feeling indeed. 

Just the other night, you said your earliest memory was singing at Anshai for Mother's Day. Specifically, it was singing the "Dancing Queen" song. You asked if this is the time you cried on stage. I told you no, that you cried during the Celebration songs. Even from a young age, you knew that your time at preschool was ending, and you were feeling all the big feelings. I love how sentimental you were, but it also broke my heart to see you grieving so hard. It is hard to watch you suffer. It is hard to know what to say or do to help you through those moments. Sometimes I just hold you and let you know it's okay. Sometimes I get frustrated that you're wallowing in something I wish you'd move past. Sometimes I cry with you. No matter what, though, I am proud of you for expressing your feelings and for not being afraid of them. I also know you come by these feelings quite genetically! We are sentimental and emotional, and we find the beauty in the moments, we miss them when they pass, and we want to bring them along with us.

That's how I feel about you turning 10. It happened all too quickly. I want to stop time and keep you little forever, and yet, I wouldn't want to miss what's yet to come. I want to see you get older and see you experience so much more. I'm so grateful to be along with you on this adventure of life! 

I love you so much, My Love!

Happiest big birthday to you and SO many more!
Love,

Mom

Ryan B, Levi R, Jude, Westley M.

Graham, Luke M., Kaylee, Micah, Luca

With Ryan B, Mingkai, Nico, and Myles

With Levi R.

With Bryson

New York City Family Trip: A "Brief" Overview of a Busy Week

Last late September, Sam and I went to New York City for my first "real" trip there. I say that in quotations because the only other time I had visited NYC was for a wedding, and there wasn't a lot of time for sightseeing. Sam has been many times, and he was excited to plan all the places he wanted me to see. I really enjoyed our trip - although not at all relaxing! Fast forward 10 months, and a family reunion was the perfect excuse to go again so soon - this time with the boys. My dad had initiated a family reunion for his father's side of the family very close to my great-aunt's 100th birthday. So, Sam and I started making plans to be there for that and tack on a few more days to our trip to be in NYC for all the sights, the culture shock, the history, and the fun that comes with being in the Big Apple.

I have to say, though, that the boys were super anxious about the trip. They were weary of going on a subway; Knox was worried he'd get lost or kidnapped; no one was particularly excited about the flights, especially after Big Boss called worried about pending storms in the NYC area; they didn't want to miss Tova. But, luckily, the week went perfectly without issue, and we had a great time.

We left on Thursday, July 27th. I packed "snackle boxes" for the boys to enjoy on the plane, and I'm glad I did this! They enjoyed it, and it kept them totally satisfied during our long flight. It helped us get from breakfast to dinner without a lunch while traveling, and they've asked me to make these for them wherever we might travel next. After getting our rental car, navigating our way into New Jersey through crazy NYC traffic, and getting settled at our hotel in Teaneck, we headed to my cousin, Amy's, house for the first family reunion event. Amy & Gregg's house is gorgeous, and the boys loved playing with their "new-to-them" cousins, Jake and Maddy in the backyard. A delicious dinner, a lot of introductions, great conversation, and lots of water play outdoors, and then it was time to head to the hotel again. On the drive back, Banner said, "That was so cool meeting all those people, and I'm related to all of them and never knew them. I liked meeting them!" I loved this so much.

First time driving in NYC

The next morning, we had brunch with the family at Farmhouse in Westwood, NJ. I felt so sorry for the wait staff - we were a loud, chaotic group who kept getting up and moving seats to talk to different people. After brunch we went to the much anticipated Nickelodeon Universe at American Dream. The boys knew all about this place from YouTube videos they'd seen. Sam and I are not into roller coasters, so this was not our favorite place, but the boys had a blast. Brock, Mischelle, and their crew met us there, and the cousins had a great time riding all the coasters together. We also took a break at It'Sugar and enjoyed an Oreo milkshake at the Oreo Cafe. This was the beginning of the horrible eating that took place the rest of the trip - Wetzel's Pretzels and then a trip to White Castle on the way home. I wasn't terribly impressed with White Castle, but Sam is a huge fan of this place that we don't have at home, so it was a must for him.

Wayyyyy too many sliders!

The next day was Saturday, and we woke up early to drive to the New Jersey side to see Ellis Island and then the Statue of Liberty. When Sam and I had gone last year to the Statue, we left from Battery Park in NYC, but this time, we went from Jersey, and it was neat to do it this way. I love Ellis Island. There's something really cool about being in the very place where my family's American story begins. It was a great learning experience for the kids. Then we went over to the Statue of Liberty where we were able to use our pedestal tickets - something Sam and I didn't do on our first trip. We got to see the internal structure of Lady Liberty, and we got some great photos at the various spaces we were able to have access to. Later that night, we had Aunt Tess's 100th surprise birthday party. More great conversation, sharing memories, honoring my Aunt Tess and her military service during WWII, and lots of time with cousins near and far. 

Knox and Quinn interviewed each other to see if they were allowed to stay in America.

The second cousins

The third cousins

Sunday morning was the last day of the family reunion. We headed over to Gregg & Amy's for brunch before saying goodbye to everyone. On the way there, Knox said, "I hope Jake is there. He's fun!" I loved hearing how much they liked their cousins they'd just met. In the middle of everyone enjoying conversation and delicious food, a pop-up game of baseball began with 1st, 2nd, and 3rd cousins of all ages playing together like they'd known each other forever. I loved watching the boys have so much fun together. We finally made ourselves leave the fun in order to return our rental car and get our NYC sightseeing underway! As we got into NYC, the boys were amazed at the tall buildings, the crazy traffic, and the crowded streets. Our hotel was literally in Times Square, and they were mesmerized with the huge screens all around. We dropped our luggage and then drove down to southern Manhattan to return the car - a sad time for Knox who was very apprehensive about how we would get anywhere without a car. 

Our first stop was the 9/11 Memorial, trying to explain the horrors of that day and the magnitude of the loss to the boys. Next we went to the One World Observatory which provided amazing views from the tallest building in the US. While we were that direction, we headed to Wall Street to find the Trinity Church where Alexander & Eliza Hamilton are buried. Then we made a last minute decision to head over to the Friends Experience. This required us to take the subway for the first time, and all the anxiety the boys had melted away once they realized it was just fine! We've been watching Friends with the kids, and they are loving it - but probably not as much as we love watching it with them! This experience was SO fun! What great photo ops and nostalgia! 

It was finally time to head to Times Square, but on the way, we came through Grand Central Terminal for a peek inside this famous station. Then, Banner wanted to go to Joe's Pizza, a totally overrated hole in the wall with a line wrapped around the block. Luckily, Brock had told us if you order a whole pie, you don't have to wait in line, and we needed that much anyway for our hungry group. So, we got our pizza and navigated back to the hotel through the crowded sidewalks of Times Square, trying not to lose any of the boys who were distracted by all the lights, the smells, the people, the costumes, and the entertainment going on around them. It was cool to point out the NYE ball that they have only ever seen on TV. Once settled back, falling asleep in the loud city would prove to be a culture shock for the boys, too. They were on edge hearing all the sirens and honking going on 50 floors below us. Eventually, we all fell asleep, and then Monday morning came all too quickly.

Taking in Times Square

We got up early to go to Junior's for breakfast. We also stopped at CVS when Knox's eye looked really red, and we were afraid he had pink eye. The homeopathic drops we got did the trick by the next day, but I was worried for a bit. Anyway, then we went to the American Museum of Natural History, exciting since the boys are fans of Night at the Museum. I loved the setup of the museum, and I appreciated it much more than the MOMA where Sam and I went last trip. (I couldn't get out of that art museum fast enough!) Thanks to the AMNH app, we were able to navigate quickly to the exhibits we wanted to see. The highlight was the Moai Cast; you know, the "Dum Dum, give me gum gum" exhibit. :) We ate the most expensive mediocre food court lunch, and then we walked to Central Park.

 

We spent a little time at the Central Park Zoo, mostly enjoying how close we could get to the bears and penguins and watching the seals being fed. Then, we made our way through more of Central Park before heading over to Serendipity3, the cute (and mightily expensive) sweet shop featured in one of my favorite movies, Serendipity. Each person has to spend a minimum amount, so we just HAD to overorder some desserts mid-day. They were amazing. The frozen hot chocolate did not disappoint! 

How I felt by the end of the day!

Knox had been hoping to see pandas at the AMNH, but we had to settle for this on the way to Serendipity!

We made our way back to the hotel after shopping, shopping and more shopping (not really spending, thankfully, but lots of looking and taking it all in) at: the Lego store, Rockefeller, FAO Schwarz, and Hershey's. After a short rest, we ventured back out to see what the wait was at Hard Rock, but it was too long, so we crossed the street to Tony's Di Napoli, and that was a huge hit! A family style Italian restaurant just off Times Square; it was perfect for us. Then, we rolled over to M&M's World where the boys just barely made it (last in line) to make their own personalized M&Ms before closing. 

I was totally excited for Tuesday morning when I woke up early to be an audience member of The View on ABC. Months ago, I signed up for a free ticket, and I was so excited when a couple weeks ago, I got that ticket. Since you can't go unless you're over 16, the kids couldn't come with me, so Sam took them to a few places: New York Stock Exchange, Washington Square Arch, the inauguration location of George Washington, and the quintessential NYC eating venue, street food. I had a great time watching the live recording of The View, although I wished my mom was there with me to see it all. We texted as much as we could until I had to put my phone away. While I didn't care for the guests (Jersey Shore cast), it was so cool to be there and see all the behind the scenes work. The audience members were gifted 3 books highlighted in the "Ladies Get Lit" segment. When I got home, I was able to see myself a couple times at the beginning of the broadcast. Pretty cool! 

After leaving ABC, I met Sam and the boys at McSorley's, Sam's favorite pub in NYC. Then, we walked over to Catch 'N Ice Cream, a place Quinn had been talking about wanting to go after seeing it on a YouTube video. The ice cream was amazing, and luckily, we all caught our ice cream ball! Then we rode the subway back to the hotel for a much needed rest. A couple hours later, we stood in line to eat at Ellen's Stardust Diner. This was so much fun! My Aunt Karen had recommended it a few months ago, and I made sure it was on our itinerary. I'm glad we did this, and it was the perfect venue right before checking in to the Neil Simon Theater to see MJ: The Musical. Sam and I saw it last year, but the entire time, I kept wishing the boys were with us to hear and see this amazing production. It was very cool to have them with us this time! Even though it was a new "Michael," the actor did not disappoint! He was phenomenal! Just moments into the start of the musical, Banner turned to me and said, "I can FEEL it!" mostly referring to the bass, but I loved that he was also very "into" it. Once Michael came out on stage, Banner was mesmerized by how well the actor portrayed MJ. He said, "He's GOOD!" I knew this was the closest thing my kids would ever really get to seeing "Michael." They got to hear some of their favorite songs: "Man in the Mirror," "Bad," "ABC," "Thriller," "Blame It On the Boogie," "Smooth Criminal," and "Beat It." Michael's life and story haunt me a little, and I'm not sure how I feel about him personally, but professionally, he was amazing. There's no denying he was a talented, albeit very weird, guy. I do love that my kids got to experience such entertainment - the music, the dancing, the singing, the spectacle! Afterward, Banner and Quinn wanted to wait for the actors to come out from backstage. This was really cool! Although Knox was bored and tired and ready to go to sleep, Banner, especially, was chumming it up with the actors as they came out. Both big boys got their Playbill signed by nearly the whole cast, too. 

Our last day of the trip was Wednesday, and we started with a much-needed "cheap" meal at McDonald's. It was right next to our last scheduled event: RiseNY. This was the perfect way to end our trip - a museum of New York City's architectural, financial, historical, entertainment, and fashion contributions to the world. The end of that museum includes a ride similar to "Soarin'" at EPCOT at Disney World. We got to fly over some of the places we'd seen during our trip while getting a birds-eye view of some of the places we only saw from afar: Yankee Stadium, Brooklyn Bridge, Empire State Building.  Next, we did a little souvenir shopping, and while walking down Broadway, we spotted the writers' strike going on which was really cool to see. Then, before Ubering to the airport, we ate lunch at Little Italy Pizza in Times Square. It was way better than Joe's if you ask me!

Writers' Strike

The flight home was not nearly as exciting as the one TO New York. The bittersweet feeling of coming home after an adventurous week was something we all discussed. We were excited to see Tova and sleep in our own beds, and maybe eat some less caloric foods (!), but we had made so many new memories, bonded with new-to-us family members, and gotten away from our usual routine. I loved not having to cook or clean for a week. As the trip ends, I feel annoyed at having to figure out what to feed people again, do all the laundry, unpack and reorganize. With the start of school less than a week away, I feel sad at how fast the summer went, and this trip that marked the grand finale of the summer being over is a bummer! But, I'm also very grateful for all the memories we made and the ability to travel. As soon as I get home from a trip, I'm ready to plan the next one! Maybe I'll give it a few weeks, though. And maybe the next one won't include walking over 26,000 steps a day!