Happy Half-Birthday, Knox!! 6-Month Newsletter

Dear Knox,
This morning, we walked into your room and sang "Happy Half-Birthday to you!!" and it felt surreal that you are now closer to becoming my one-year-old and farther from being my newborn! How did that time go so quickly?! It's the age old parent question, right? I mean, each day feels like forever sometimes, but those days together seem like the blink of an eye. You have grown and developed so very much this month! Let me tell you about it~

-The first few weeks of the month, you were babbling like crazy! But, in the past week or so, you've been much quieter. While you still "talk" to yourself during the early hours of the new day (around 5:30 or 6:00) before drifting back to sleep, during the day, you are pensive and quiet. Daddy and I thought you must be working on something to have quieted down so much - as we believe Grandma is right when she says babies work on one thing at a time. And, lo and behold, you must have been working on figuring out how to maneuver your body so you put your mouth on hold. You are now rolling, sitting, and creeping - just in the past week. It happened very quickly, and I'm not gonna lie - I'm a little annoyed at you meeting these milestones so quickly. My life just got exponentially more challenging in the "keeping you safe" department! You "plank" all the time. You're exceptionally strong and sturdy!

-Another reason you may have quieted down was perhaps from the transition to a new house. We moved out of Darion just a couple weeks ago, and we've all been transitioning to our new normal at the new house. I'm both glad and sad that you won't remember your first 5 months of life in that house. You won't miss it at all, but man, was it a great place to bring my boys home. I'll forever cherish those early months with you (and your brothers) as the only place I had a newborn. The midnight feedings, the swaying in the dark nursery, the naps and bedtime routines that started there... Those last naps and bedtimes were rough for me. But, on to our next adventure in this new home!

-You LOVE attention. You just want to be held, or looked at, or played with at all times! The moment we walk away, you get pretty upset. But, as long as you are in my arms or are next to me, you are one happy little guy!

-You love being tickled. You hate when we dress you - just the process of putting your arms in mostly. You love hugs. You hate when we take a toy away. You love your feet. You hate when I won't let you eat the sink faucet during bath.

-Your hair grows the longest behind both ears. Therefore, you have these two long strands that curl upward and outward. I've called you Pippi Longstocking on more than one occasion, but Daddy refuses to let me cut these "pig tails" off!

-You're also beginning to reach for us! This is a nice and very welcome gesture! I love it! And, you look at what you want. More bottle, Mommy, a toy... it's helpful to know you are able to communicate what you want this way!

-Daddy would say you are still very suspicious of him, Banner, and Quinn. He says you are still trying to figure out if you trust them or not and "who these crazy people are?!" He thinks you know me and trust me, but aren't quite sure of them. I don't agree. I think you know each of us very well and know what to expect from everyone. Loudness, shrillness, and sudden-ness from Quinn. In-your-faceness and high-pitched baby talk full of smiles from Banner. Cuddles and hugs from Daddy. In fact, you love Daddy very much, and some days you want him more than me. You've also let him put you to bed a few times recently, and you do better for him than for me. You may very well be a daddy's boy - as you light up whenever you see him, too! I love how much you love these guys in our house!

-You're eating lots of different foods now! We've added fruits mostly - peaches, pears, bananas, apples, prunes. We've added corn as well. Up next - avocado, mango, pineapple... this is so fun! You love drooling over and sucking on bananas and peaches in the little net thingys.

-Baths are still my favorite time of day with you... and rocking you to sleep for naps and bed. You typically go down to sleep so easily. I just wish you would nap longer! Like last month, we usually get one good nap a day and two crummy ones. We've tried dropping your last nap, but if your previous naps are awful, you still really need another one later in the afternoon/evening.

-You adore your big brothers. The feeling is genuinely mutual. Quinn has begun wanting to pull on you or grab your hands or feet. I think your mobility has become slightly threatening to him, and his curiosity about you is increasing. He's also becoming a threenager, so there's that.... but he truly wants to just love on you and make you smile.

-Size 3 diapers, level 3 nipples, size 4 overnight diapers, size 6-9 and 9 month clothing.

-Bedtime is around 7:30 and you generally sleep through the night until about 6:30 or 7 (with a slight awakening an hour before then). We have to paci you once or twice or thrice, but I don't mind that if you go back to sleep right away. The biggest threat to your wakening, though, is the fact that you cannot - or WILL NOT - sleep on your back. And, coupled with the new rolling over all the time but not being truly proficient in being able to roll from back to belly, you wake up right away crying to be rolled back over. I'm hoping this will get better as you perfect the back to belly roll. You've gotten better at pacying yourself, too, but we're not there 100%.

-We visit Dr. B next week, so I'll add in those stats at a later date...

Knox Morgan, you are delightful! I know we are on the verge of a new adventure as you become mobile and into everything. It will be fun to see what personality this new chapter brings out of you! Are you a "Banner" or a "Quinn?" Are you daring or cautious? Are you into everything or more focused on one thing at a time? And, while I have some personal preferences, I will love however you are... because oh.my.goodness do I love you so much already! It's so exciting to watch the gift that you are keep unwrapping and to keep revealing your sweet personality each day.

This first half of your life has been eventful. Stressful, rocky, blessed, easy, and difficult all rolled up into one! From RSV at 3-weeks-old and breathing treatments to being more relaxed and at-ease with a third child. From never sleeping and taking hours to go to sleep to finding more ease with falling asleep. You've grown, and so have I! Thank you, Baby Love, for all you have brought to our family. A sense of calm. A new beginning.  A reminder of all that is important. A little one to celebrate and to watch continue to grow and develop! Thank you for loving us and for letting us love you!

Happy Half-Birthday, Knox Morgan!
Love,
Mommy

 (Pics coming soon. Something is wrong with my upload button!)

Darion

10 years ago this month, I signed my last lease. It was a 6-month lease at the apartment my sister and I had shared for 2 years, and we were signing a short one with the intent of looking to purchase my first house. Luckily, in late November of 2006, I signed a contract on a 3-bedroom house and moved in only 5 days into the new year. Little did I know the house I only planned to live in for a short while, maybe 3-5 years, would be my home for 9 and a half years. And, that's where the story of my life on Darion Lane begins.

I was only 26 years old and proud of myself for buying my first home on my own. Kira and I continued to live together for the next few years - making more memories as room mates in a new place together. We rarely used the huge backyard, shared the garage, and developed our own system for handling chores and responsibilities. Living with her was awesome, and shortly after she moved out, only a few weeks after Sam and I married, I wrote this blog post about our time as room mates together.

Kira & Erick's room became a guest room, and we had room for our niece and nephews to spend the night at our house. A year later, when we found out we were pregnant, we made plans for that room to become our baby's room. Since then, it's been the first bedroom for Banner, for Quinn, and for Knox. We moved the "guest room" to what was originally an office/study. That guest room allowed my mom and my mother-in-law to stay over and help us when Banner was born. Months later, it's where my father-in-law slept the nightmare of a night that Sam's mom died. Soon, that guest bedroom became Sam's first office when he started his own law firm. It was at the door of that room that toddler Banner would knock on the door yelling "Daddy!!" just hoping Daddy would come out to play instead of work. When Sam was able to get his own office outside the house, that room became a storage room, and then we were forced to clean it out and clean it up when Banner decided to crawl out of his crib three times one night just three weeks before Quinn was born. Therefore, that room became Banner's new big boy bedroom. And tonight, with only a few nights left on Darion Lane, my two big boys share that room.

This house has seen a lot of change - both in itself and in those who live here. From ripping up carpet and laying down tile to gutting a wet bar and making our play area bigger, we've put in a lot of hard work and sweat to making it a home just for us. We've painted and painted and painted - nearly every room of this house, and some rooms twice. We've taken down light fixtures and put in better lighting; we've changed out counters and a stove and ducts and roof and skylights... it's been a crazy adventure as a home owner. This house has seen engagements, graduations, birthday parties, nights of endless studying for the biggest tests of our careers, wedding planning, belly bumps, and babies being brought home from the hospital. It's held play dates, Halloween parties, a wedding, minyan, and a week of sitting Shiva.

It's been an amazing house and an even better home. But, we've begun to outgrow it. Truth is, we began to outgrow it long ago, and I've been trying my best to stay here as long as possible, to make the most of our space, and to fight the urge to sell it for the past couple years at least. And, with Knox's arrival, with Quinn's snoring, with Banner's impending Kindergarten year, with toys galore... we simply need more space for these boys and all their things!

So, on June 24th, we listed the house! Five days later, we had a contract! The best part about the offer was that it was from someone we know. Her offer was accompanied by the most thoughtful letter, recognizing that this move will be bittersweet for us, recognizing that it's the only home my boys have ever known. This beautiful family will move in soon, and I couldn't be happier to be leaving it to another Jewish family, another mother of boys, and another family who will know how special Darion Lane has been to us. They will so enjoy the big backyard, the park down the street, the young neighbors nearby, the cozy home they will make their own.

And, we will move out - to a new house not far away. It's a four-bedroom home, so all the boys will have their own room, their own space. We're very excited about it, but I have to say the buying part has been brutal, and the seller has been nothing but uncompromising. But, we weren't walking away from the house, a house we believe will become just as special to us as Darion is and always will be.

This week, we've buckled down on packing. Art work is off the walls, pots and pans are packed, dishes are wrapped, and memories preserved. Through it all, I'm trying to find closure as we say goodbye so soon. It's hard to wrap my head around the idea that we aren't just packing for a long trip but instead will never live here again. So many memories have come fluttering back with nearly each walk through the house:

The baths I gave (and give) my infants in our kitchen sink; the summer we peeled the wallpaper off the kitchen walls with a clothes steamer; dancing in the garage while the car stereo blared; the first showers together; the first steps; videoing Sam carry the infant seat with each new baby too small to really take up any space in it as he walked through the garage and we showed each his new home; knocking down the bar counter; baking Thanksgiving pies with Christmas music on the radio; freaking out when Sam fainted after his wisdom teeth surgery and calling his mom faster than I knew was possible; watching Sam run around the backyard with a 12-month-old Banner on his shoulders; the way our first Sukkah leaned and has progressed over the years to be bigger and more stable; first baths; climbing the ladder to paint the top of the den wall and coming up with unique and creative ways to paint the very top of the vaulted ceiling; hearing the pitter-patter of my toddlers running through the house; saying "no, no" to Banner's constant reach for the television or stereo knobs or the trash cans or the blinds; opening the front door to find a present from Fontina; watching the snow fall on the skylights the afternoon I'm pretty sure we conceived Quinn; the night those skylights came crashing in during a vicious hail storm; building the sandbox for Banner's third birthday; the slip-n-slide parties and the wading pools; Banner's Valentine's party; running on the treadmill I spent way too much money on; our camp out in the backyard one July 4th before we had kids; the days of potty-training, where I sat in the hallway or in the bathroom awaiting a pee or a poop while trying to keep my newly-crawling baby away from big brother's toilet; the endless nights of getting up and down to paci a baby, or the nights we worried they wouldn't sleep without one when we finally "pulled the plug;" hearing those awful dogs bark incessantly at all hours of the night; watching a midnight eclipse only weeks after Banner was born; the walks around the block - especially the "walks" with Bubbie the winter she died; the squeals of happy boys being chased through the house; watching out the front window for our neighbors, Don & Jeannie, to get home; our Thanksgiving overnight with Caden & Mara; the long days and nights of fighting to continue breastfeeding when it was not successful at all; rocking my babies to sleep in the quiet nursery and both begging for more sleep myself and savoring every sweet moment with them in my arms.

This house has been the backdrop of so many milestones and important events. We've found so much love, so much frustration, so much joy, so much sorrow within these walls. All three of my children were conceived in this house, and I was the first one to know about them as I watched each pregnancy test turn positive. This is the last house Sam's mom ever visited us in - the place she made some of her own memories in, including her son's first Father's Day and the night she stayed up all night to make sure he was okay after his frightening car accident. It's where we held each other tightly and sobbed together the weeks after her death. It's where Sam learned he had a temper - and his impatience and frustration has caused several dents that have been repaired and repainted. We've seen a baby monitor fly across our bedroom and a ceiling fan be thrown down in a frustrating installation. It's where we celebrated every year turn to a new one since 2007. We've watched the evolution of characters and mourned our favorite shows ending. We've watched too many hours of Walking Dead, Lost, Desperate Housewives, Glee, Big Love, Parenthood, American Idol, Baby Borrowers, Grey's Anatomy, Rescue Bots, Team Umizoomi, and Yo Gabba Gabba. It's where we pondered the future of our relationship as those around us fell apart. It's where we clung tightly to each other when we just didn't know the answers. But, mostly, it's where I matured, it's where I became a wife, a mother. It's where Sam and I became more than just a couple and brought three beautiful boys into our family.

So, when it came time to list the house, I had the strangest feeling. I felt like I was preparing to leave a child of mine behind. This home is my baby in many ways, and we grew up together. I know it sounds crazy to say that, but it seriously feels that way. I wanted to make sure this home would be well taken care of, that it wasn't going to be knocked down or treated poorly. These walls have heard, seen, and protected us. It is so much a part of who we are and the family we have become. Darion is home. Darion is a part of us. How can we just up and leave?

But, in a short few days, that time will come. As I've told the boys, our things come with us, and yes, that helps, but we will never live here again. It will never be ours again. I was just a 26-year-old single woman when I bought this house and started to make it my own, my home. While I had visions of Sam and I living together in it when I purchased it, I never EVER for one second thought I'd have a child here - let alone THREE! We have been here as long as we needed to be, and it has been good to us. And, yes, I know this house doesn't have feelings, but I hope she sure knows we love her!

Here's a look back over the years - 

just before we knocked this bar down....

only weeks before our wedding - a serious makeover for our "bar/den-turned-playroom"

painting the baby's nursery

old countertops and stove

fun in the kitchen with Banner (12-months)

New Year's Eve (2012-turned-2013)

a surprise party for Sam's parents

the way I'd find the hallway from time to time - with random items my toddler would take out

Spring 2015 - a pipe burst 

capturing my house after bedtime one night - savoring the mess of toddlerhood

playing with our neighbor, Esme

 And, a final walk-through before we listed...

We love you, Darion!

5-Month Newsletter: Knox

Dear Knox,
Almost 22 weeks old already! 5-months is a turning point for me; it's, historically-speaking, when the fun really starts, and I am so ready for that for both of our sakes! We are definitely making strides with sleep, with eating, and with just having fun in general! You are growing so quickly and showing off more and more of that beautiful personality of yours, and I am loving hearing your giggles and watching you light up as you have fun with toys, see people you love, and learn to play more independently.

So what else have you been up to this month:

-More and more chatting and squealing... in fact, most people who are around you notice how talkative you are and how you have so much to say!

-You're rolling over belly to back - although only at bedtime! This is aggravating, but I know more rolling is on the way during play time soon. You extend your arms and push your whole body up - like a plank or on your knees. You are so very strong! You've even been seen "creeping" to your toys and moving all around a play mat.

-You are giggling more and more. You're quite ticklish.

-Like Quinn at your age, you love physical touch and attention. You want to be held, tickled, "wrestled" with... you love this kind of play!

-You started eating veggies last week. Your first vegetable was squash, then sweet potatoes, then carrots. Tonight, we are starting green beans!

-Some favorite toys include: Sophie, your exersaucer, the play gym (especially grabbing at the links hanging from them), and your big brothers! You still enjoy the swing, and you're beginning to be bored in the bouncer. You're also figuring out how to get yourself out of the Nap Nanny by arching your back and pushing with your feet - quite dangerous actually!

-SCHEDULE: You wake up around 6:30/6:45, have a 6 ounce bottle, eat some oatmeal (reluctantly usually, as you are not a big breakfast eater, much like Daddy and your brothers), stay up until around 8:30 (exactly when I need to leave to take your brothers to camp, unfortunately), nap for 45 minutes or another ridiculously and frustratingly short amount of time, then have another 5-6 ounce bottle around 10:30, stay up for about 2 hours and nap around 11:30. I try to wait to feed you a third bottle around 2:00, but your naps are so short and you often expect to eat earlier than I'd like. You take a third nap sometime after 3:00ish. You eat dinner between 5 and 6:00. We start bath around 7:00, and you go to sleep not long after starting your 4th bottle of the day. About 20-30 minutes later, you wake up to finish that bottle and sleep until 5:00ish when you start wrestling around. The past few days, you have put yourself back to sleep for 1-2 hours, but some times we have to re-pacy or hold you until you go back to sleep to make it until after 6:00 (a "reasonable" time for you to wake up at this age). Your naps are horrible, but I know that is to be expected at this age. We're working on lengthening them, but that's hard to do when you wake up feeling much more "awake" than in months prior and start playing instead of going back to sleep on your own.

-I'm excited to report we have stopped all night feedings! That started only a week or two ago, and it wasn't easy, but it was well worth the "fight."

-You're wearing size 6-9 and 9 month clothing. You've pretty much outgrown all the 6-month clothes because you are so tall! I prefer the 9-month clothes on you; they look much more comfortable on you. You're outgrowing size 2 diapers; as soon as we finish this package, we're on to size 3. You already wear size 4 overnight diapers. And, we're moving up to level 3 nipples today! You're taking way too long to finish bottles and often lose interest in it before finishing, so we're hoping a level up will help.

-I still love bathing you. It's my most favorite time of day with you!

-I also LOVE your kisses and the way you grab my face.

-While you are quite social, you're beginning to have some stranger anxiety. You like to know Mommy or Daddy is nearby in a new situation. If you are scared of a new person, you "bottom lip it" and start crying.

-Your palms and soles of your feet are still very "sweaty" and clammy feeling. They're very "slimy." Dr. B says this can be very normal for infants, but I'm hoping you outgrow it soon. :(

-Car rides are much much better . . . unless you are tired or hungry. As long as you have a toy to play with, we have made big strides.

Knox Morgan, I cannot wait to see your development this month. I know big things are coming for you! We'll be working on rolling from back to belly and on sitting up. We'll be starting fruits later this month, and I'm hoping you learn how to find and replug your paci yourself soon! In the meantime, I'm so enjoying your beautiful gummy grins, you're eyelashes getting so long, those baby blue eyes lighting up with delight when we play, you're snuggles and nuzzles and cuddles, and those longer stretches of sleep at night! :)

I love you so very much, Baby Love!

Happy 5 Months!
Love,
Mommy

4-Month Newsletter: Knox

Dear Knox,
Today you are 4 months old! So many things to update you about! I have to admit, though, keeping up with this blog is getting harder and harder with the little time I have to do anything other than take care of you three boys and the demands of keeping the house running smoothly without burning down or looking like we were robbed - especially when we want to list our house and have showings pretty soon! The idea of it scares the bejeezus out of me to have to keep up with cleaning every little thing - but we CAN do it! Lucky for you, you won't be asked to keep anything clean.... just try your best not to spit up on anything like the carpet or couch and we'll be good! Ha... as if you can keep from spitting up on anything!

Anyway... what have you been up to this month?

-RICE! You have started eating rice cereal as of last week. You eat it for a 5:30/6:00 dinner each evening and have gotten great at knowing how to eat off of a spoon! Your first meal was at Grandma & Papa's house, and you had quite an audience watching you!

-You had your first ear infection (in the left ear) diagnosed on May 26th. You were 14 weeks old, and to be honest, I'm surprised it took that long for you to have one after RSV at 3 weeks old. Runny nose, cough, sleepless nights and decreased appetite had me in the office just days before your naming. Luckily, meds helped pretty quickly, although 10 days later we were back in the office for what I thought was a repeat diagnosis. But, this time it was just a cold - and only days before your 4-month well check.

-Speaking of that, here are you most recent stats:

• Weight: 14 pounds, 2.5 ounces = 25th percentile
• Height: 25.5 inches = 75th percentile
• Head: 41.1 cm = 35th percentile
• Developmentally, Dr. B says you are 4 and half months (but that was a week before you were 4 months) . . . just had to throw that in there! :) I'm pleased with your growth and development given how very little time you get to just play and be on the floor! So much of your time is spent in the car or at your brothers' events that you barely get time to build your skills.
• 4 shots and an oral vaccine

-You are quite the talker! Cooing away and chatting up a storm still, and I love every little utterance! You get especially chatty right before you get fussy, like you need to get all your words out before you lose it. I kind of like that it's a sign you're about to melt down, so I'll take it. 

-Your head control is fabulous! We have been able to start using the Exersaucer and pretty soon the Jumperoo (if we ever get it out of storage!) now that you are so strong and sturdy. You like being upright - propped up on the couch with your brothers or in the Bumbo or bearing weight on your legs when we hold you on our legs or the floor. BeeBee is pretty sure you're ready to walk any day now! :)

-Just last week you found your feet.

-4 random facts for 4-months: You're pretty ticklish. You love a screen - definitely fitting in with your big brothers. You are drooling like crazy. And you like being patted to sleep.

-You are grabbing at everything. It's now time to move things we don't want you to grab out of your reach - like our plates at dinner, for example. You have recently found my face when I'm feeding you and like to grab my mouth or chin. 

-Size 2 diapers, level 2 nipple, size 3 overnight diapers, and you're growing so tall that you've almost outgrown your 6-month clothes. 

-Car rides are finally getting better! It helps significantly that you can entertain yourself by teething on little toys now. You also like the mirror I've put up for you. And Banner sits next to you and is able to give you your paci whenever you fuss. It's awesome that he takes the initiative to do that now without me even asking - because he just wants to help you and he knows what to do now!

-You're smiling all the time and giggling here and there. Mostly, your eyes are full of love and joy that let me know you are one happy boy who loves your mama!  Your first giggle was on May 20th at 13 weeks old - and it was for ME! I was gently tickling your chin saying "Here comes the tickle monster," and there it was - a chuckle just for me!

Knox Morgan, so many people want to weigh in on who you look like at this point. While most think you look more like Quinn, I see a good mix of both of your brothers. In fact, I've said you look like Banner & Quinn's kid. :) But, you are so unique and so your own person. You are getting cooler and more fun with each passing day. I wish you would sleep more through the night. I wish you wouldn't depend on 1-2 four ounce bottles in the middle of the night (which we've been told to stop giving you). And, although I'm tired and worn out from those midnight wakings, I don't mind holding you and feeding you during these special dates just you and me. I'll actually miss those little cuddles.... but, I won't miss feeling tired or the interrupted sleep! 

This month was one of more firsts. So many more are coming! It's going to be a big month in so many ways! I wish you a happy 4 month birthday, Baby Love! Can't wait to see all the milestones this month!
I love you with all my heart!
Love,
Mommy

First cereal

First shower

At Banner & Quinn's Celebration (PreK Graduation)

On Aunt Kira's birthday

First time in Exersaucer

Little nugget fast asleep

First play date

My sweet Baby Love