Journey to the Knot

Saturday, August 5, 2023

New York City Family Trip: A "Brief" Overview of a Busy Week

Last late September, Sam and I went to New York City for my first "real" trip there. I say that in quotations because the only other time I had visited NYC was for a wedding, and there wasn't a lot of time for sightseeing. Sam has been many times, and he was excited to plan all the places he wanted me to see. I really enjoyed our trip - although not at all relaxing! Fast forward 10 months, and a family reunion was the perfect excuse to go again so soon - this time with the boys. My dad had initiated a family reunion for his father's side of the family very close to my great-aunt's 100th birthday. So, Sam and I started making plans to be there for that and tack on a few more days to our trip to be in NYC for all the sights, the culture shock, the history, and the fun that comes with being in the Big Apple.

I have to say, though, that the boys were super anxious about the trip. They were weary of going on a subway; Knox was worried he'd get lost or kidnapped; no one was particularly excited about the flights, especially after Big Boss called worried about pending storms in the NYC area; they didn't want to miss Tova. But, luckily, the week went perfectly without issue, and we had a great time.

We left on Thursday, July 27th. I packed "snackle boxes" for the boys to enjoy on the plane, and I'm glad I did this! They enjoyed it, and it kept them totally satisfied during our long flight. It helped us get from breakfast to dinner without a lunch while traveling, and they've asked me to make these for them wherever we might travel next. After getting our rental car, navigating our way into New Jersey through crazy NYC traffic, and getting settled at our hotel in Teaneck, we headed to my cousin, Amy's, house for the first family reunion event. Amy & Gregg's house is gorgeous, and the boys loved playing with their "new-to-them" cousins, Jake and Maddy in the backyard. A delicious dinner, a lot of introductions, great conversation, and lots of water play outdoors, and then it was time to head to the hotel again. On the drive back, Banner said, "That was so cool meeting all those people, and I'm related to all of them and never knew them. I liked meeting them!" I loved this so much.

First time driving in NYC

The next morning, we had brunch with the family at Farmhouse in Westwood, NJ. I felt so sorry for the wait staff - we were a loud, chaotic group who kept getting up and moving seats to talk to different people. After brunch we went to the much anticipated Nickelodeon Universe at American Dream. The boys knew all about this place from YouTube videos they'd seen. Sam and I are not into roller coasters, so this was not our favorite place, but the boys had a blast. Brock, Mischelle, and their crew met us there, and the cousins had a great time riding all the coasters together. We also took a break at It'Sugar and enjoyed an Oreo milkshake at the Oreo Cafe. This was the beginning of the horrible eating that took place the rest of the trip - Wetzel's Pretzels and then a trip to White Castle on the way home. I wasn't terribly impressed with White Castle, but Sam is a huge fan of this place that we don't have at home, so it was a must for him.

Wayyyyy too many sliders!

The next day was Saturday, and we woke up early to drive to the New Jersey side to see Ellis Island and then the Statue of Liberty. When Sam and I had gone last year to the Statue, we left from Battery Park in NYC, but this time, we went from Jersey, and it was neat to do it this way. I love Ellis Island. There's something really cool about being in the very place where my family's American story begins. It was a great learning experience for the kids. Then we went over to the Statue of Liberty where we were able to use our pedestal tickets - something Sam and I didn't do on our first trip. We got to see the internal structure of Lady Liberty, and we got some great photos at the various spaces we were able to have access to. Later that night, we had Aunt Tess's 100th surprise birthday party. More great conversation, sharing memories, honoring my Aunt Tess and her military service during WWII, and lots of time with cousins near and far.

Knox and Quinn interviewed each other to see if they were allowed to stay in America.

The second cousins

The third cousins

Sunday morning was the last day of the family reunion. We headed over to Gregg & Amy's for brunch before saying goodbye to everyone. On the way there, Knox said, "I hope Jake is there. He's fun!" I loved hearing how much they liked their cousins they'd just met. In the middle of everyone enjoying conversation and delicious food, a pop-up game of baseball began with 1st, 2nd, and 3rd cousins of all ages playing together like they'd known each other forever. I loved watching the boys have so much fun together. We finally made ourselves leave the fun in order to return our rental car and get our NYC sightseeing underway! As we got into NYC, the boys were amazed at the tall buildings, the crazy traffic, and the crowded streets. Our hotel was literally in Times Square, and they were mesmerized with the huge screens all around. We dropped our luggage and then drove down to southern Manhattan to return the car - a sad time for Knox who was very apprehensive about how we would get anywhere without a car.

Our first stop was the 9/11 Memorial, trying to explain the horrors of that day and the magnitude of the loss to the boys. Next we went to the One World Observatory which provided amazing views from the tallest building in the US. While we were that direction, we headed to Wall Street to find the Trinity Church where Alexander & Eliza Hamilton are buried. Then we made a last minute decision to head over to the Friends Experience. This required us to take the subway for the first time, and all the anxiety the boys had melted away once they realized it was just fine! We've been watching Friends with the kids, and they are loving it - but probably not as much as we love watching it with them! This experience was SO fun! What great photo ops and nostalgia!

It was finally time to head to Times Square, but on the way, we came through Grand Central Terminal for a peek inside this famous station. Then, Banner wanted to go to Joe's Pizza, a totally overrated hole in the wall with a line wrapped around the block. Luckily, Brock had told us if you order a whole pie, you don't have to wait in line, and we needed that much anyway for our hungry group. So, we got our pizza and navigated back to the hotel through the crowded sidewalks of Times Square, trying not to lose any of the boys who were distracted by all the lights, the smells, the people, the costumes, and the entertainment going on around them. It was cool to point out the NYE ball that they have only ever seen on TV. Once settled back, falling asleep in the loud city would prove to be a culture shock for the boys, too. They were on edge hearing all the sirens and honking going on 50 floors below us. Eventually, we all fell asleep, and then Monday morning came all too quickly.

Taking in Times Square

We got up early to go to Junior's for breakfast. We also stopped at CVS when Knox's eye looked really red, and we were afraid he had pink eye. The homeopathic drops we got did the trick by the next day, but I was worried for a bit. Anyway, then we went to the American Museum of Natural History, exciting since the boys are fans of Night at the Museum. I loved the setup of the museum, and I appreciated it much more than the MOMA where Sam and I went last trip. (I couldn't get out of that art museum fast enough!) Thanks to the AMNH app, we were able to navigate quickly to the exhibits we wanted to see. The highlight was the Moai Cast; you know, the "Dum Dum, give me gum gum" exhibit. :) We ate the most expensive mediocre food court lunch, and then we walked to Central Park.

We spent a little time at the Central Park Zoo, mostly enjoying how close we could get to the bears and penguins and watching the seals being fed. Then, we made our way through more of Central Park before heading over to Serendipity3, the cute (and mightily expensive) sweet shop featured in one of my favorite movies, Serendipity. Each person has to spend a minimum amount, so we just HAD to overorder some desserts mid-day. They were amazing. The frozen hot chocolate did not disappoint!

How I felt by the end of the day!

Knox had been hoping to see pandas at the AMNH, but we had to settle for this on the way to Serendipity!

We made our way back to the hotel after shopping, shopping and more shopping (not really spending, thankfully, but lots of looking and taking it all in) at: the Lego store, Rockefeller, FAO Schwarz, and Hershey's. After a short rest, we ventured back out to see what the wait was at Hard Rock, but it was too long, so we crossed the street to Tony's Di Napoli, and that was a huge hit! A family style Italian restaurant just off Times Square; it was perfect for us. Then, we rolled over to M&M's World where the boys just barely made it (last in line) to make their own personalized M&Ms before closing.

I was totally excited for Tuesday morning when I woke up early to be an audience member of The View on ABC. Months ago, I signed up for a free ticket, and I was so excited when a couple weeks ago, I got that ticket. Since you can't go unless you're over 16, the kids couldn't come with me, so Sam took them to a few places: New York Stock Exchange, Washington Square Arch, the inauguration location of George Washington, and the quintessential NYC eating venue, street food. I had a great time watching the live recording of The View, although I wished my mom was there with me to see it all. We texted as much as we could until I had to put my phone away. While I didn't care for the guests (Jersey Shore cast), it was so cool to be there and see all the behind the scenes work. The audience members were gifted 3 books highlighted in the "Ladies Get Lit" segment. When I got home, I was able to see myself a couple times at the beginning of the broadcast. Pretty cool!

After leaving ABC, I met Sam and the boys at McSorley's, Sam's favorite pub in NYC. Then, we walked over to Catch 'N Ice Cream, a place Quinn had been talking about wanting to go after seeing it on a YouTube video. The ice cream was amazing, and luckily, we all caught our ice cream ball! Then we rode the subway back to the hotel for a much needed rest. A couple hours later, we stood in line to eat at Ellen's Stardust Diner. This was so much fun! My Aunt Karen had recommended it a few months ago, and I made sure it was on our itinerary. I'm glad we did this, and it was the perfect venue right before checking in to the Neil Simon Theater to see MJ: The Musical. Sam and I saw it last year, but the entire time, I kept wishing the boys were with us to hear and see this amazing production. It was very cool to have them with us this time! Even though it was a new "Michael," the actor did not disappoint! He was phenomenal! Just moments into the start of the musical, Banner turned to me and said, "I can FEEL it!" mostly referring to the bass, but I loved that he was also very "into" it. Once Michael came out on stage, Banner was mesmerized by how well the actor portrayed MJ. He said, "He's GOOD!" I knew this was the closest thing my kids would ever really get to seeing "Michael." They got to hear some of their favorite songs: "Man in the Mirror," "Bad," "ABC," "Thriller," "Blame It On the Boogie," "Smooth Criminal," and "Beat It." Michael's life and story haunt me a little, and I'm not sure how I feel about him personally, but professionally, he was amazing. There's no denying he was a talented, albeit very weird, guy. I do love that my kids got to experience such entertainment - the music, the dancing, the singing, the spectacle! Afterward, Banner and Quinn wanted to wait for the actors to come out from backstage. This was really cool! Although Knox was bored and tired and ready to go to sleep, Banner, especially, was chumming it up with the actors as they came out. Both big boys got their Playbill signed by nearly the whole cast, too.

Our last day of the trip was Wednesday, and we started with a much-needed "cheap" meal at McDonald's. It was right next to our last scheduled event: RiseNY. This was the perfect way to end our trip - a museum of New York City's architectural, financial, historical, entertainment, and fashion contributions to the world. The end of that museum includes a ride similar to "Soarin'" at EPCOT at Disney World. We got to fly over some of the places we'd seen during our trip while getting a birds-eye view of some of the places we only saw from afar: Yankee Stadium, Brooklyn Bridge, Empire State Building. Next, we did a little souvenir shopping, and while walking down Broadway, we spotted the writers' strike going on which was really cool to see. Then, before Ubering to the airport, we ate lunch at Little Italy Pizza in Times Square. It was way better than Joe's if you ask me!

Writers' Strike

The flight home was not nearly as exciting as the one TO New York. The bittersweet feeling of coming home after an adventurous week was something we all discussed. We were excited to see Tova and sleep in our own beds, and maybe eat some less caloric foods (!), but we had made so many new memories, bonded with new-to-us family members, and gotten away from our usual routine. I loved not having to cook or clean for a week. As the trip ends, I feel annoyed at having to figure out what to feed people again, do all the laundry, unpack and reorganize. With the start of school less than a week away, I feel sad at how fast the summer went, and this trip that marked the grand finale of the summer being over is a bummer! But, I'm also very grateful for all the memories we made and the ability to travel. As soon as I get home from a trip, I'm ready to plan the next one! Maybe I'll give it a few weeks, though. And maybe the next one won't include walking over 26,000 steps a day!

Saturday, June 17, 2023

And Another Year Makes 12! (Banner's Newsletter)

Dear Banner,

A week ago, you turned 12! I'm a little behind in writing this letter to you because it's been a busy time of partying, packing, and getting you and your brothers to camp. But, I want to fill you in on what you're like at 12-years-old, because man, you're something else. I looked up what Gemini symbolizes on the web, and here's what I found: "Geminis are fun and social and they can be quite impulsive at times too. You can almost never predict what a Gemini is about to do. Geminis form connections through dialogue, communication, debate, and questions. Geminis like to pick things apart to understand them. They're also verbal wizards, tending to have a knack for relating to people through language and maneuvering seamlessly between social spheres. Their main traits are being super-fast, super-smart, super-adaptable and super-curious people. All of this super-ness makes them fascinating to be around, albeit usually only for short spells because they can a) wear you out or b) get easily distracted elsewhere and before you know it, they're off. They are notorious gossips. They are generally kind, but there is a slither of chilliness and detachment." These descriptions are pretty accurate in describing you. You are a challenge, a puzzle, an enigma. Both a delight and a hassle. So caring and concerned for others, but you can snap at us pretty quickly. You have loyal, amazing friends, and you like to be in the know on everything - often falling into the onslaught of gossip that surrounds you. Most adults tell me how polite and sociable you are around them; you never have a problem making small talk or showing interest in others.

At the same time, you can be very anxious and paranoid from time to time, especially at night or before a big event. Here's a funny little anecdote to illustrate my point. In March, you said, "Mom, there is someone in a car on a cell phone outside our house. I think they put something in our mailbox." I told you I am not worried. You said, "I know you aren't, but I am." I said, "I know you are, but you don't have to be. It's okay that they're out there. It's probably the neighbor's friend. You don't need to worry." You replied, "Is it because I'm paranormal?" I chuckled, "You mean 'paranoid?' Yeah, a little bit!" You know you worry, and you wish you didn't, but I am pretty sure you are an Enneagram 6 which means you naturally have a need to feel safe and secure. Often times this can lead to you not wanting to go anywhere; you like to just stay home and be on a screen (specifically on your newish PC playing Roblox or Fortnight) or at the park with friends. You have a negative attitude when we want to go out and do things, but once you are there, you cheer up and make the most of it. It has taken Dad and I a lot of work to know how to let you just be in those negative feelings without getting mad at you or feeling frustrated with you.

This year was a big year for you - lots of change, lots of new friends, new school, gearing up for bar mitzvah studies, cotillion, making choices of electives for next year, band practice... it was a lot. But you handled it very well, and you rolled with most of the punches. Learning to study was probably the biggest hurdle. You had to fail before you learned that you liked the feeling of success. But that feeling doesn't come unless you put in the hard work necessary to earn it. Weekly quizzes, tests, projects, due dates - it can be a lot to juggle, and it's easy to avoid it. It's a lot harder to be disciplined and do what is right and important. It takes a lot of energy to push through the "I don't want to " feelings and put first things first when what you really WANT to do is pulling on you in a different direction.

So, what else have you been up to?

You got All A's for your final year-end grades. A few B's in math, but you pulled through in the end and got an A average for the year. Those were not easily earned! Math and science were rough. I honestly have no idea what happened in Language Arts/Reading, and your teacher sucked all year. He would yell a lot and get mad at students for no good reason. Your most phenomenal teachers were Mr. Reddoch (band) and Mr. Rooklidge (PACE/Social Studies). You formed a great rapport with them, and they treated you with a great deal of respect.
You hated Sunday School and Hebrew school this year. You claim you didn't learn much of anything. But you did enjoy learning about World War II, anti-semitism, and the Holocaust. We did a lot of reading about this together, too. We've been watching A Small Light about Miep Gies and her bravery in hiding the Frank family. We read We Had to be Brave earlier this year, as well, a story about the Kindertransport in Europe during this time. One of the hardest things about raising Jewish kids is letting them find out about the cruel, unnecessary, unwarranted hate of Jewish people. I never want you to fear being Jewish, to hide who you are, or to stifle your Jewish pride. But this is a necessary thing for you to learn about, and I hope it makes your understanding and commitment to your people even stronger.
Speaking of Judaism, you are at GFC right now for the fourth summer. Every photo I've seen shows you smiling and having fun, and as Grandma recently said, your whole body just looks more relaxed there. I love that you are having a blast.
You got a phone last July when you got home from camp. It was so fun giving it to you, but since then, I've regretted it nearly every day. Okay, not really - it actually can come in very handy to get in touch with you, send you messages about pick up or give you permission to go somewhere or not. But, it is really hard to get you to get off of it! And we've had many discussions about how to text other people in a well-mannered way.
You had a well-check with Dr. B last week. Your stats are:

Height: 58 3/8" = 48th percentile
Weight: 92.8 lbs = 56th percentile
BMI: 19.13 = 66th percentile

Even though you're right on track with height, you are very concerned about when you're going to grow. You are already going through puberty, and you ARE growing, but this age is rough when the girls are taller than the boys, and the boys grow at various speeds. In addition, some of your guy friends are nearly a year older than you are, so you are in a hurry to catch up! But, it will come, Angel, faster than you know. Your pants are already too small on you, your shirts are getting shorter.
Which leads me to another thing - you hate to give up your belongings even when you've outgrown them. Your pants literally don't fit you, but you won't pass them to Quinn. You see him wearing one of your shirts, and you will want him to take it off right this instant. Even your underwear are too tight and uncomfortable to hold your junk, but you refuse to stop wearing them, so I have to sneak them out of your drawer!
Speaking of puberty - you are just now getting small break-outs and learning how important it is to wash your face. Deodorant is becoming more important, and your hair needs a good shampooing nightly, even if you don't think so! Oh, and you're getting hairy - in all the places. We have recently started "shaving" your dark peach fuzz around your upper lip with an eyebrow shaver.
Our roller coaster with ADHD meds continued this year. You absolutely hate taking them - and you won't eat while you're on them. But, you did so much better in school when you took them. You recognize this, too, which is good, but I just never know if medication is the right thing for you or if THIS med (Focalin) is the right one. You had gotten better at taking them toward the end of the school year; prior to that, you would gag a little after taking them and wouldn't even want to see the pills before eating breakfast. I even tried to sprinkle them on chocolate ice cream in the morning, the way Knox took his before he learned to swallow pills, but that wasn't great either.
Speaking of gagging, you continue to throw up easily. A nervous stomach is usually to blame, but throwing up isn't unusual for you, and this always makes it difficult to know when you are really sick or when you feel anxious or when you just need attention. Like I said, parenting you can be quite a puzzle.
You started allergy shots after you got home from camp last year. I've been keeping track of how many shots you've had: 35! But since you get one in each arm, it's technically 70! You do awesome with these! I like that we do them together, and we only have to go once a month now.
You had your first girlfriend and your first break-up. I'm so very proud of you and Jillian, though, for staying friends through it all. You call her one of your best friends now and you still hang out all the time. It was of the utmost importance that you put your friendship first, and while the break-up was really hard for you, you both managed to keep the commitment to your friendship.
You.want.everything! You have lots of goals for how to spend your money - Nike shoes, Oculus, stocks/bonds, Yeezy slides, Drake concert tickets, and any other name brand item you can think of. All of this is totally normal, but I know that making choices and big spending decisions won't be easy for you at all. You want what you want, and you want it right now!
Your taste in music is... well, vastly different from mine. You're into rap and hip hop, and most of the lyrics to the songs you enjoy make absolutely no sense to me (or to you, to be quite honest). Drake and Kanye are not my cup of tea, and they're really not your friends' either. Last summer when we were driving everyone home from your birthday party at Epic Waters, everyone got to pick a song they wanted in the car, and when it was your turn, they all said, "NOT Drake!" Of course you picked it one of his songs anyway. When I drive you to school, which is rare, you will want to listen to these God-awful songs. You laugh at how much I don't like them, and I equally laugh and make fun of them.
You love a good routine at night. You like lots of attention from Dad and me. You have to end every night saying these words: "See you in the morning. See you tomorrow. Good night. Sweet dreams. I love you." And, if we don't repeat them back to you in between each sentence, you start over.

We celebrated your birthday in several ways: of course, you got to sleep in our bed (a very favorite thing of yours that happens very less frequently than you'd like as you're getting older and bigger), we did a balloon wake-up, you got donuts and kolaches for breakfast (although you weren't really interested or hungry and wanted to play on your PC ALLL day since the new Fortnite season had just started), picked up Cane's for lunch on the way to Grandma's to swim, and then we had dinner at Tokyo Harbor (your favorite hibachi restaurant) with the family. The following day, after you and I went to get allergy shots together, we met your friends at Hawaiian Waters for an amazing birthday party. Everyone wanted to be at this party! Lana was out of town and so upset she couldn't make it, but even parents who had originally said their kids couldn't make it (Nolawi, Noah, and Evelyn) ended up texting me saying they were able to now (Nolawi had been sick earlier in the week, Noah wasn't sure if he'd make it from camp, and Evelyn's family missed their flight!). We invited 18 kids, and 17 of them came! It was an expensive day... but it was perfect. We almost got rained out, but the storms stayed away, and we ended up extending the party for an hour to stay until closing. (The only bad thing was someone stole Nolawi's shoes, and we didn't know it until we were trying to leave. This was very sad and frustrating!)

Banner Boone, you most definitely keep us on our toes. Parenting isn't easy. Parenting you is especially not easy! You're hard to motivate, you're steadfast in your wants and desires, you know how to negotiate and manipulate those around you, you're charming to a fault, and you are sneaky. I've read that early teenagers are similar to however they were at 2, 3, or 4 years-old. So at 12, you'd be just like you were at 2. If this is true, I'm going to savor this year, because your 2-year-old year was way easier than your 3-year-old year. But, I'm bracing myself for what's coming as you explore more independence, make more decisions on your own, face social and peer pressures, start studying for your bar mitzvah, venture off with friends more on your own, and navigate more challenging curriculum. I do know that you have a really good head on your shoulders, and you know right from wrong. You are sensitive and extremely caring of others and the well-being of the world. You want to know things, and you want to be good at things; you just often lack the desire to put in the hard work to achieve this. I do see this part changing, though. You have learned what success feels like, and you want more of that. Your natural go-to is to give up. It reminds me of you being a newborn trying to learn to nurse. That was HARD work, and you were not having it! As a pre-schooler and Kindergartener, you were ahead of the curve, so success was easy but not as rewarding for you. Now, things are getting more challenging, and I'm seeing the merging of these two things - the not wanting to work hard with the ease of success so early on - getting to success means pushing through the work. Maybe it's my fault for not sticking with the breastfeeding! Ha! Maybe if I had made you work through it all, you wouldn't just be learning this now! Blame me. What can I say? I didn't want you to starve; I'm a horrible mother. :) Ha.

But, I digress... anyway, I'm always glad that you and I are on this adventure together. You being a kid for the first time. Me being a mom for the first time. It's all a ride that I'm grateful for. I wish I had the answers, I wish I knew better, but it's all part of the journey to not know and to learn to figure it out. I'd say we're doing okay 12 years in! I love you so very much, Angel Baby. I hope you can feel that love wherever and whenever we are.

Happiest Birthday, Banner!

Love,

Mom