Dear Banner,
A week ago, you turned 12! I'm a little behind in writing this letter to you because it's been a busy time of partying, packing, and getting you and your brothers to camp. But, I want to fill you in on what you're like at 12-years-old, because man, you're something else. I looked up what Gemini symbolizes on the web, and here's what I found: "Geminis are fun and social and they can be quite impulsive at times too. You can almost never predict what a Gemini is about to do. Geminis form connections through dialogue, communication, debate, and questions. Geminis like to pick things apart to understand them. They're also verbal wizards, tending to have a knack for relating to people through language and maneuvering seamlessly between social spheres. Their main traits are being super-fast, super-smart, super-adaptable and super-curious people. All of this super-ness makes them fascinating to be around, albeit usually only for short spells because they can a) wear you out or b) get easily distracted elsewhere and before you know it, they're off. They are notorious gossips. They are generally kind, but there is a slither of chilliness and detachment." These descriptions are pretty accurate in describing you. You are a challenge, a puzzle, an enigma. Both a delight and a hassle. So caring and concerned for others, but you can snap at us pretty quickly. You have loyal, amazing friends, and you like to be in the know on everything - often falling into the onslaught of gossip that surrounds you. Most adults tell me how polite and sociable you are around them; you never have a problem making small talk or showing interest in others.
At the same time, you can be very anxious and paranoid from time to time, especially at night or before a big event. Here's a funny little anecdote to illustrate my point. In March, you said, "Mom, there is someone in a car on a cell phone outside our house. I think they put something in our mailbox." I told you I am not worried. You said, "I know you aren't, but I am." I said, "I know you are, but you don't have to be. It's okay that they're out there. It's probably the neighbor's friend. You don't need to worry." You replied, "Is it because I'm paranormal?" I chuckled, "You mean 'paranoid?' Yeah, a little bit!" You know you worry, and you wish you didn't, but I am pretty sure you are an Enneagram 6 which means you naturally have a need to feel safe and secure. Often times this can lead to you not wanting to go anywhere; you like to just stay home and be on a screen (specifically on your newish PC playing Roblox or Fortnight) or at the park with friends. You have a negative attitude when we want to go out and do things, but once you are there, you cheer up and make the most of it. It has taken Dad and I a lot of work to know how to let you just be in those negative feelings without getting mad at you or feeling frustrated with you.
This year was a big year for you - lots of change, lots of new friends, new school, gearing up for bar mitzvah studies, cotillion, making choices of electives for next year, band practice... it was a lot. But you handled it very well, and you rolled with most of the punches. Learning to study was probably the biggest hurdle. You had to fail before you learned that you liked the feeling of success. But that feeling doesn't come unless you put in the hard work necessary to earn it. Weekly quizzes, tests, projects, due dates - it can be a lot to juggle, and it's easy to avoid it. It's a lot harder to be disciplined and do what is right and important. It takes a lot of energy to push through the "I don't want to " feelings and put first things first when what you really WANT to do is pulling on you in a different direction.
So, what else have you been up to?
- You got All A's for your final year-end grades. A few B's in math, but you pulled through in the end and got an A average for the year. Those were not easily earned! Math and science were rough. I honestly have no idea what happened in Language Arts/Reading, and your teacher sucked all year. He would yell a lot and get mad at students for no good reason. Your most phenomenal teachers were Mr. Reddoch (band) and Mr. Rooklidge (PACE/Social Studies). You formed a great rapport with them, and they treated you with a great deal of respect.
- You hated Sunday School and Hebrew school this year. You claim you didn't learn much of anything. But you did enjoy learning about World War II, anti-semitism, and the Holocaust. We did a lot of reading about this together, too. We've been watching A Small Light about Miep Gies and her bravery in hiding the Frank family. We read We Had to be Brave earlier this year, as well, a story about the Kindertransport in Europe during this time. One of the hardest things about raising Jewish kids is letting them find out about the cruel, unnecessary, unwarranted hate of Jewish people. I never want you to fear being Jewish, to hide who you are, or to stifle your Jewish pride. But this is a necessary thing for you to learn about, and I hope it makes your understanding and commitment to your people even stronger.
- Speaking of Judaism, you are at GFC right now for the fourth summer. Every photo I've seen shows you smiling and having fun, and as Grandma recently said, your whole body just looks more relaxed there. I love that you are having a blast.
- You got a phone last July when you got home from camp. It was so fun giving it to you, but since then, I've regretted it nearly every day. Okay, not really - it actually can come in very handy to get in touch with you, send you messages about pick up or give you permission to go somewhere or not. But, it is really hard to get you to get off of it! And we've had many discussions about how to text other people in a well-mannered way.
- You had a well-check with Dr. B last week. Your stats are:
- Height: 58 3/8" = 48th percentile
- Weight: 92.8 lbs = 56th percentile
- BMI: 19.13 = 66th percentile
- Even though you're right on track with height, you are very concerned about when you're going to grow. You are already going through puberty, and you ARE growing, but this age is rough when the girls are taller than the boys, and the boys grow at various speeds. In addition, some of your guy friends are nearly a year older than you are, so you are in a hurry to catch up! But, it will come, Angel, faster than you know. Your pants are already too small on you, your shirts are getting shorter.
- Which leads me to another thing - you hate to give up your belongings even when you've outgrown them. Your pants literally don't fit you, but you won't pass them to Quinn. You see him wearing one of your shirts, and you will want him to take it off right this instant. Even your underwear are too tight and uncomfortable to hold your junk, but you refuse to stop wearing them, so I have to sneak them out of your drawer!
- Speaking of puberty - you are just now getting small break-outs and learning how important it is to wash your face. Deodorant is becoming more important, and your hair needs a good shampooing nightly, even if you don't think so! Oh, and you're getting hairy - in all the places. We have recently started "shaving" your dark peach fuzz around your upper lip with an eyebrow shaver.
- Our roller coaster with ADHD meds continued this year. You absolutely hate taking them - and you won't eat while you're on them. But, you did so much better in school when you took them. You recognize this, too, which is good, but I just never know if medication is the right thing for you or if THIS med (Focalin) is the right one. You had gotten better at taking them toward the end of the school year; prior to that, you would gag a little after taking them and wouldn't even want to see the pills before eating breakfast. I even tried to sprinkle them on chocolate ice cream in the morning, the way Knox took his before he learned to swallow pills, but that wasn't great either.
- Speaking of gagging, you continue to throw up easily. A nervous stomach is usually to blame, but throwing up isn't unusual for you, and this always makes it difficult to know when you are really sick or when you feel anxious or when you just need attention. Like I said, parenting you can be quite a puzzle.
- You started allergy shots after you got home from camp last year. I've been keeping track of how many shots you've had: 35! But since you get one in each arm, it's technically 70! You do awesome with these! I like that we do them together, and we only have to go once a month now.
- You had your first girlfriend and your first break-up. I'm so very proud of you and Jillian, though, for staying friends through it all. You call her one of your best friends now and you still hang out all the time. It was of the utmost importance that you put your friendship first, and while the break-up was really hard for you, you both managed to keep the commitment to your friendship.
- You.want.everything! You have lots of goals for how to spend your money - Nike shoes, Oculus, stocks/bonds, Yeezy slides, Drake concert tickets, and any other name brand item you can think of. All of this is totally normal, but I know that making choices and big spending decisions won't be easy for you at all. You want what you want, and you want it right now!
- Your taste in music is... well, vastly different from mine. You're into rap and hip hop, and most of the lyrics to the songs you enjoy make absolutely no sense to me (or to you, to be quite honest). Drake and Kanye are not my cup of tea, and they're really not your friends' either. Last summer when we were driving everyone home from your birthday party at Epic Waters, everyone got to pick a song they wanted in the car, and when it was your turn, they all said, "NOT Drake!" Of course you picked it one of his songs anyway. When I drive you to school, which is rare, you will want to listen to these God-awful songs. You laugh at how much I don't like them, and I equally laugh and make fun of them.
- You love a good routine at night. You like lots of attention from Dad and me. You have to end every night saying these words: "See you in the morning. See you tomorrow. Good night. Sweet dreams. I love you." And, if we don't repeat them back to you in between each sentence, you start over.
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| Cade, Jack, Brady, Nolawi, Coen, you, Evie, Neli, Kinley |
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| Hailey, Jillian, Bree, Amelia, Kinley, Evie, Cruz |
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