New Year's, Valentine's, and St. Patrick's Days...

No idea where time has gone or how I've missed posting about a few special holidays: New Year's, Valentine's, Purim, and St. Patrick's Days...

The kids enjoying New Year's Day brunch

Playing croquet

Grandma playing with the kids! :)

Valentine's Day card from Mommy & Daddy

He loved watching the robot light up and talk to him

Then he ran to show Quinn his card

Valentine's Day play date

Aunt Mischelle, Nami, Cooper, Banner, and Brycen

Beautiful Marin

My little Purim lion

Listening to the Purim shpiel - which he listened to intently and acted out all weekend! He's definitely learning a lot at school, really understanding the story of Purim - he kept telling us to "Bow down to me!" and then would tell us that we are only supposed to bow down to God. Then, he'd tell us to turn him into hamantaschen.

Showing me his Purim mask and hamantaschen

Shamrock pancakes for St. Patrick's Day

The boys got a fun surprise left for them on our porch first thing in the morning - from the leprechaun (aka: Uncle Brock and Aunt Mischelle)

Opening his treat!

I'm one lucky Mama! :)

Happy Half-Birthday, Quinn! 6-Month Update

Dear Quinn,
Still such a baby but growing into a boy! It's absolutely baffling that we can say "Happy Half-Birthday!" to you already! This month ROCKED! You're finally eating and sleeping again after a month of not doing much of that before. You seem much happier - which makes ME much happier! You still need a lot of "re-pacying" at night, and you sometimes flip over to your back and need us to flip you back to your belly to go to sleep, but you are so much better at soothing yourself and getting back to sleep on your own. I have to say I miss holding you and rocking you to a sound sleep, but I love that we have coached you to becoming a better sleeper these days. (Rules that have helped us: once you are in your crib, we don't pick you up; very little touching is done once in your crib because this seemed to be making you more alert rather than soothing you; dipping your paci in a cup of water before giving it to you helps you, too. Gripe water has helped your tummy settle at night, as well.)

Watching you develop and grow this month has been amazing. Daddy and I were just talking about this the other night. We have seen you become so much more aware of us, of yourself, of Banner, and of your surroundings. You LOVE to be LOVED, and you are more and more giggly and silly every day. You love eye contact, touch, hugs, kisses, attention, and interaction. You get bored easily without these things. You are slightly shy about how much you want to play with us - often looking at us, smiling, then looking away. . . SO much like your mommy! :)

Physically, you still have those beautiful baby blue eyes; your skin is like alabaster - perfectly white and smooth; your hair is very light brown, although it's so scarce around the ears and back that it looks blonde in certain light; you still have this curly tuft of hair right on top of your head that is getting pretty long! You are definitely plumping up with awesome rolls on your thighs! Everyone says you look so much like your daddy. I agree you certainly look like his little boy. You have his nose, and perhaps his eye shape, and certainly his coloring. But, I also see so many other people when I look at you... first and foremost, I see your Bubbie in your eyebrows and upper lip. But, I see my dad and my grandpa in your bottom lip, your Uncle Trey and your cousin Mara in the eyes sometimes, your cousin Colby's coloring from time to time, Banner's thoughtful furrowed brow, and sometimes I see glimpses of my own baby pictures in your cheeks and chin. All of this could change by next month, too! Everyone sees who they want to see - and with your light coloring, I understand why everyone thinks you look just like Daddy... they said the same thing about Banner at your age. What I see mostly, though? I see you. I see this emerging personality and traits all your own. You have a beautiful family of people you resemble, and you are this wonderful mix of so many people who love you. But, you look just like you - just like Quinn. And, THAT is the most beautiful resemblance!

Here's what's IN with you:

• Veggies and Fruits! You love eating things with more flavor - unlike your cereals last month (although you've gotten better at eating those, too). You've tried green beans, peas, carrots, sweet potatoes, squash, apples, bananas, pears, prunes, and tomorrow we start peaches. You weren't a huge fan of bananas, but everything else has been a big hit!
• Banner! You LOVE this kid. Hear his voice, and you turn to find him with a big grin. See him across the room, and follow his every move. Get attention from him, and you light up! You reach and grab for him all you can. He loves to give you kisses and hugs. In fact, my favorite is when he gets up from his nap and comes to "lay keppe" on your lap while I'm holding you. Recently, you have started almost hugging him when he does this - somewhat pulling on his hair and leaning into him. So sweet! 
• Grabbing anything you can get your hands on - and putting it in your mouth. The funniest, yet most annoying, is when I'm bathing you, you reach for the faucet while the water is running and try to put it in your mouth. You're pulling my hair (ouch!), reaching for your bottle, swatting and grabbing at toys, and playing with your feet all the time.
• Rolling over every which way! I'm so relieved that you finally met the milestone of rolling from your back to your belly! I think this will make you happier at night when you flip yourself over ... because now you can flip yourself back! This took a while for you to figure out - still within normal - but ever since having RSV, you hadn't met many milestones and seemed "stuck" in your development at 4 months old. Well, we're playing catch up now, and I love finally seeing you roll over to get the toys or the views you want.
• Sitting up! I knew you'd be much happier when you could play with your toys while sitting, and I was right.
• Soothing yourself. You have started rubbing your eyes when tired, and sometimes you bonk yourself on the head with your fist over and over again. It's a soothing tactic, but I think you don't really know who's hitting you in the head.
• Medications through a pacifier dispenser. . . you took your ear infection med great this way last month, and this month, we've been giving you Gripe Water just before bedtime to soothe your tummy, and you take it like a champ with this medicine dispenser
• Bath time! You're splishing and splashing every night.
• Being naked or only in a diaper
• Lots of drool, and even more spitting up... not the quantity that would come out of Banner, but definitely the frequency - my poor boys!
• HUGS and KISSES! Touch and tickles! You just laugh and giggle when you get undivided attention! You're starting to hug and kiss us, too. I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF THIS! Every morning, and after naps, you will grab my head or face and burrow in, and when I give you kisses, you will turn your head with an open mouth to give your own smooches.
• Sense of humor! You are getting to be quite the little comedian with your silly babbling (which you do a LOT - /m/, /b/, /d/, /l/, and lots of raspberries) and funny expressions. You also like it when we tap your lips while you say "ahhh!"

Here's what's OUT:

• Losing your paci
• Going to nap when you're just not quite ready. Sometimes you have to get that last bit of energy out, and then you're fast asleep.
• Getting your nose cleaned out - you've been a little snotty since having RSV, and we often have to aspirate your nose - you hate this, but you're doing a good job at tolerating it.
• Having to wait to eat your last bottle while I finish putting on your pajamas
• Not being able to put yourself in a sitting position... after rolling around and playing on your back for a little bit, you get pretty frustrated if someone doesn't help you sit up. 

Stats:

• We had your 6 month well-check with Dr. B today. You were a champ! He even noted how mellow you were... which you were until your three shots. Even then, you handled it well! Here's what we learned:
• You weigh 17 pounds, 14 ounces = 60th percentile
• You are 26 and 3/4 inches long = 60th percentile
• Your head circumference is 43.1 cm = 35th percentile
• Developmentally, you are right on track! We can start giving you water now, as well as Puffs or Cheerios as soon as you are up on all fours (in a crawling stance). We'll be adding more fruits and veggies to your diet until your 9 month check-up - still SO many things to try! I love finding out what you love!
• We will be starting Claritin tonight to see if that will help clear your congestion you've pretty much had since birth. Hoping this helps you!!
• Level 3 nipples - started a few weeks ago to help you get more formula faster since feedings were taking so long
• Size 3 diapers
• 6M, 6-9M, 9M clothing (which works well for these seasons to wear Banner's old clothes)
• 6-8 oz bottles, 4 times a day around 7:00, 10:30/11, 2:30ish, 7:00, with a breakfast of oatmeal and a dinner of veggie and/or fruit and a cereal (either rice or barley) around 5:15

Other things that happened this month:

-We met Baby Cousin Levi!!! So far, you've only taken one nap together and played on the play mat twice together - but I see you two becoming fast friends in the near future! Between you, Levi, and Nami being so close in age - I can't wait to watch the three of you play soon!

-We went to the park for the first time a couple weeks ago. You loved the swing, although it was a bit chilly and a lot windy! I think the wind confuses you - you're not sure where that gust comes from or why it feels funny, so you often make a gasping sound and blink a lot in it, but otherwise you tolerate it well.

-You're sitting nicely in the bath ring, and although you're still taking baths in the infant tub over the sink, we can use the bath ring for you to sit in the shower to play in the water with Banner. You certainly seem to love the water.

-We had a Valentine's Day play date, but you slept (or didn't really but you fought your nap time) through most of the fun.

Quinn Redding, I tucked you in this evening after you finished your bottle. You fell asleep in my arms, which I try not to let you do very often (usually, you go to bed "drowsy but awake"). As you breathed peacefully, relaxed and calm, I whispered to you: "Goodnight, sweet boy. Happy 6 months. Happy half-birthday. Six months from now, you will celebrate your big birthday - eating cake for the first time. You'll drink real milk. You'll have more hair. You'll have some teeth. You'll be in bigger clothes, and you'll be crawling or walking and be more independent. You'll be saying some words. You'll know me better, and I'll know you better. But, I'll love you just the same as in this very moment. I love you so much just as you are." Tears came to my eyes and fell down my cheeks, as I thought back to six months ago when we met - and how much you have grown, how much you have learned, how different, yet how the same you are to that newborn baby! You're just the most loving, lovable little guy, and I have so enjoyed this past half-year getting to meet you, know you, watch you, and most of all, LOVE YOU!

Happy Half-Birthday, My Love!
I LOVE YOU!
Love,
Mommy

33-Month Newsletter: Banner

Dear Banner,

Oh my sweet angel baby! Where do I begin about these past three months!? I have to start with: I love you SO much. My heart aches from how much I love you. You are seriously amazing, and I'm writing this letter with tears in my eyes because I just want to freeze you at this age - at least on your not-so-tempermental days! - as I feel you growing and changing and maturing and slipping away so fast! I want to capture your very essence and wrap it up to keep forever; I want to be able to see you, feel you, smell you, hear you at this very age forever, and yet I want to see the gift that you are continue to unwrap and unravel as you age and grow even more independent. My sweet toddler, you are just that - a gift. Everyday. You make my heart squeeze and ache and skip a beat and be still - all at the same time! There have been so many amazing moments in the last few months that I see your sweet face smiling up at me with those beautiful blue, gorgeously big eyes and deep dimples, tiny teeth, sweet nose, and cute chin as you make the most profound statement or the cutest of requests or the silliest suggestion... and I know in that very moment, I want to remember you like this for the rest of my life! There's no picture to be taken, no video to be recorded - just YOU - just you in all your two-year-old glory, and I want to remember every detail just as you are in that moment. And, this happens OVER and OVER and OVER again. I sincerely hope my memory is as good as I think it is, but my biggest fear is you and these memories "slipping through my fingers all the time!"

One day, about a month ago, I walked next to you (wearing Quinn in the Bjorn) while you rode your tricycle. You'd stop and get off the trike to get the shovel in the "trunk" of the trike, shovel up some dirt or some acorns, and you'd put your treasure back under the flap of the trike's back compartment. You took your time. You weren't interested in getting very far down the sidewalk. You said "HI!!" to every person you could see in the neighborhood, and you continued to greet them until they acknowledged you. You didn't want to go back home when I was, quite frankly, getting bored with slowly meandering behind you while hoping Quinn didn't get too bored. (Although, he is IN LOVE with you, and any time you are nearby, his eyes are GLUED to you!) Then, just to get you to do something different, I asked if you wanted to ride your scooter, which was on our front porch. You looked that direction, you looked back up at me in that wide-eyed, inquisitive beautiful look and said in a question, "I can ride it like the big kids, Mommy?" I said, "Of course!" And, as much as you wanted to figure out how to use one leg to push off the ground, you couldn't quite figure it out. I know this seems like a mundane incident to record in my mind, but I was so proud of you for trying, and I was intrigued by the way you wanted to be like "the big kids," and more than anything, I just loved how you looked up at me wanting to know if you could do it. I wanted to wrap my arms around you and say, "Angel, you can do ANYthing you put your mind to." I loved hearing you want to do something like the bigger kids, but I also wanted you to stay my baby forever in that moment, thinking, "NO! Don't grow up like the big kids so fast!"

As you've gotten a bit older, I find myself wanting to protect you from feeling these more complex emotions: fear, insecurity, peer pressure, rejection, anxiety, jealousy, envy, and so on. As your imagination has taken off these past few months, so have your fears, and I hate watching you get so worried about something. You are always asking Daddy and me: "You keep me safe? You will be here?" And, even though you still run off in public way too often (at a park, at the museum, in the stores, at a restaurant - oy!), in general you want to be close to us. You have been coming into our room to sleep in our bed in the early, early morning (around 5:00). You want us to tell you more stories before bedtime. You want us to come with you to the other room to get something or to play in another area.

And, just this past month or two, you have become a "mama's boy" all over again. I have missed you, sweet boy. Since Quinn was born, I think you were angry at me, punishing me for having another baby, for being in the hospital, for tending to another child. But, now you seem to only want me. While I feel badly that you sometimes tell Daddy, "No, I want Mommy!" or "Daddy, you go away, and Mommy stays with me," right at bedtime, I am loving that I'm back as a special person in your life. . . and Daddy even agrees that it's okay because he "had his time." :) My hugs are home for you, my kisses cure, and my hands are your security. I feel like you have come back to me, and we are on good terms again in your world. I was always here - always waiting for you. And, I always will be.

The funniest part of all this is your desire to tell others about me. You once interrupted your swim teacher (more about swimming below) to tell her, "My mommy is so pretty!" And, while I was talking to Ms. Betty about your day at pick-up at school, you turned to Ms. Jennifer and said, "My mommy is so pretty!" You sure know how to wrap me around your finger!

In other news:

• My favorite quotes these past 3 months: 
• "I'm going to ponder that!" as you tap your cheek (Thank you, Grandma, for teaching you this!) 
• "I tooted. Excuse me!"
• "Mommy, you are so pretty!" or "Mommy, you are pretty-ful!"
• "I'm going to read my book to the children," as you rock in your little chair in front of your pretend audience
• The way you say: "Ambulance" now (which used to sound awfully close to "a penis"), how you say "Tell me a stirry," (instead of "story"), or knowing that Mommy loves you "more than anything in the whole weeld!"
• "I want to hold your hand, Mommy."
• You are asking more and more questions about Bubbie: "Is Bubbie nice?" "Where does Bubbie live now?" In December, you and I had our first conversation when you learned that Bubbie died. I used that term for the first time with you when you wanted to know where she lived... "She doesn't live anywhere, Banner." You said, "People live in houses, Mommy?" (Everything during those months was stated as a question, and sometimes that's still the case.) "Yes, Banner, people do live in houses. But Bubbie died, so she doesn't live anywhere anymore. We don't get to see her anymore. We can hear stories about her, and we can see pictures of her. But, when someone has died, they don't live anymore, so they don't live anywhere." To which, your response was mostly, "Oh. Are we almost at Brayden's party, Mommy?" And that was that. I sat with my response internally - begging for you to talk more about it, not sure how I could even turn from this conversation to go enjoy a birthday party. You heard what you needed to hear at that time, though, I guess - and that was all. I needed more. I needed more closure, but I know this will continue to come up - and I actually hope it does, so I can continue to explain it better, more thoroughly, so that you (and Daddy and I) can continue to come to terms with this awful reality.
• You are very possessive of your things, often saying you don't want to share your toys with your friends or classmates. Sometimes, you don't even want friends to come over to our house because you don't want them to play with your things.
• You walk on your toes when you are excited about something (or a nervous habit?), like when you first walk into your classroom or to see all the family at Grandma & Papa's house or Zaide's house. I asked the doctor about it; he says it's not a big deal since you can walk normally, and maybe someone at school walks like this too, so we are just ignoring it for now.
• You want to know where everything is when we are driving, even though you have an amazing sense of direction. "Mommy, where IS Grandma's house? Is it far away?" or "Are we getting closer to Ms. Patty's house?"
• Speaking of Ms. Patty, you started swim lessons at her house just a few weeks ago (32 months old). You've had four lessons now, and you are doing great! That first lesson was rough, as I expected, and then you only cried a short time at the following two lessons. You ask to hear stories about Ms. Patty and how you swim so well there. After each lesson, you come home very proud of yourself, walking around the house with confidence in an almost-cocky way!
• You love: playing with your trucks/trains/cars - but mostly you LOVE your firetrucks and firefighters; playing with your instruments; watching YouTube; chocolate; kissing and hugging Quinn; hearing stories; cooking/baking and wanting to "make a recipe;" being outside;  Peppa Pig, Team Umizoomi, Bubble Guppies, and Paw Patrol on Nick Jr; humming your lullabies with me at bedtime; pretending and coming up with dialogue for your toys, pretending to talk on the phone (usually there's an emergency at the fire station), speaking gibberish to talk fast
• At 30 months old, you pooped on the potty for the first time. Then, you did it again just this past week. My hope is that by my next newsletter, I'll be able to say you're potty trained. We will be working on this fairly soon!
• You're jumping like a champ - over things, off of things, and just for fun. 
• You're learning: your letters and some sounds thanks to The Letter Factory, how to count with fingers, how to dress yourself, how to pee into the toilet standing up
• You have impeccable manners (usually without being reminded). 
• You got a visit from Fontina, the Paci Fairy, for the first time. 
• You love getting your hair cut now. Ms. Tia is your hair dresser, and she loves you, too! Mostly, you enjoy playing with the train table at the salon, but you cooperate perfectly for Ms. Tia, and she thinks you are so cute!
• You still smell like Frosted Flakes.  Yes, I know this is a weird thing to write about, but for most of your life, I've said you smell like breakfast. Daddy always laughs at me that I say this because it's really a weird comment, but you do. You smell so sweet and sugary. . . a smell I never want to forget. (It has occurred to me - very much worried me - because I have been taught that a sweet, sugary breath or odor on a person is a sign of diabetes, so I'm cautious in saying that I love this smell, but luckily, we have no other signs to think you have diabetes, so I'll take the sweet smell!)

We have been busy these past three months. We welcomed "Baby Cousin Levi," you went to the dentist for the second time ever and got a great report, and we've had several snow and ice days. We had Christmas events, rang in the New Year, had Valentine's Day, and went to birthday parties for Jonah, Cooper, Brycen, and Brayden. We went to see the trains at NorthPark, to the Perot Museum, and to Candlelight. You were sick for a few days (with cold-like symptoms) and were even sent home from school one day with a random high fever that the doctors had no idea why.  You had your first Shabbat performance at school, and you did awesome singing "One Little, Two Little Shabbat Candles." My favorite part was when Ms. Sheryl invited the parents to come up and say a blessing for their child. As I picked you up and held you to tell you what a great job you did, you said, "I want to hold your hand, Mommy. I want to hold your hand, Daddy." Then, I said, "Banner, I love you!" and you said, "I love you, Mommy and Daddy." Then, I turned to MY mommy who was going to take our picture, and I held back tears. You make me so happy.

In the past few weeks, I have noticed something truly awesome and sad at the same time. Your hands. Your hands have suddenly - almost overnight - become less baby and more big boy. You often want to hold my hand, and the feel of your hand in mine has changed. I can't really explain it or describe it, but suddenly, these are not the hands of my infant, of my chubby toddler, but of my growing big boy. They're slim and strong. The skin is still so incredibly soft and smooth, but the shape is hardening. And, this shakes me.

I love you, and I'm savoring all this sweet time I have with you before you're not my 2-year-old anymore, before you are in school 5 days a week, before you turn THREE! You are getting so big, so fast. Please slow down. Don't be in such a rush, Angel Baby. Thank you for coming back to me these past few months. I never needed to be the "favorite" parent or the most needed. I just need you. I need to know you know how much I love you. I need you to know I am a constant, I am always here.

I love you, sweet boy. 

All my love,

Mommy

Kisses for our boy at Bob & Helen's on Christmas Eve

Family pic - outside Zaide's house on Christmas Day

Busy at Perot Museum

Busy at Brycen's Birthday Party at Gymboree

Playing with your talking robot card and eating a chocolate screwdriver on Valentine's Day - after a donut breakfast!

Quinn waking you up from nap (your eyes are still very tired here)

Hugs from Ms. Betty after you gave her your S'mores treats for Teacher Appreciation Week

Singing into the mic for Ms. Sheryl at Shabbat

Fontina, the Paci Fairy

Ever since Banner was 2 weeks old, he's had a pacifier. We had tried to keep him away from them while trying to establish breastfeeding, but when that wasn't working for us, Sam and I decided to go ahead and give him a paci. His first pacifiers are the same ones Quinn uses now, the GumDrop pacifiers (from Hawaii Medical - not the First Years ones) which have the space cut out for the nose - but they are otherwise the same as Soothies. The instructions from the manufacturer said that these pacifiers were not recommended once your child has teeth, so at around 6-7 months, Sam and I tried to get Banner to start liking other options. He was at the point where he could re-paci himself, if he could find it, and not need us to come rescue him in the middle of the night. So, we happily spread a few pacifiers in his crib. The Soothie was easy for him to like since it was so close to what he had been using, and he took to the Nuk pacifiers quickly as well. So, he ended up with 2 Soothies and 2 Nuks in his bed each night. A couple months before Banner learned to climb out of his crib (and therefore, a couple months before moving to his "big boy bed"), we misplaced a Soothie, but since Banner did so well without it, we never gave it back. He never even asked about it. 

However, since that time, his "blue paci," "white paci," and "brown paci" have become his best friends. They all three go together for naps and for bedtime. He has to have all of them, and he adores them. So, the thought of weaning him from them is not only hard on Banner, but it's emotional and difficult for Sam and me, too. We have been dreading this for a while, but we know it needs to be done. I'm not opposed to him having these "loveys," especially since the dentist has told us that (at this point) Banner's teeth are not affected by having them. BUT, lately, they've been the cause of midnight wakings when he can't locate one of them. I even tied pacifier keepers/bungee cords to them so he could hold them easier... and slightly hoping he'd attach to the cord and NOT the paci.

In any event, it was time to say goodbye to at least one of them. Sam and I thought long and hard about how best to do this, and we're okay with a longer weaning period rather than cutting him off from all of his best friends cold-turkey - especially since he's still in a fragile time with possible regression since Quinn's birth. So, we had been telling Banner about the possibility of the Paci Fairy coming to take his pacifiers to the new babies at the hospital. He liked this idea, but I don't think he ever imagined the Paci Fairy would ever really come!

Just this Friday evening, though, he got his very own letter from the Paci Fairy! Banner and I went to check the mail, and there was a letter addressed to Banner along with a plain, white, empty box. "What's this, Banner? You got a letter!" He was immediately excited. He was pretending to be the mailman on his tricycle, and he got off of his trike, came to see the box and letter, and then he took all the mail inside to see what it was. We opened the letter, and this is what it said:

We read it together a few times until he fully understood what Fontina was asking of him. He immediately said, "I will give my brown paci." Sam and I were shocked. This is his favorite one (and therefore ours)! We were certain he would choose the white one, but he ran to his room to get the brown one, came back, and put the brown one in the box. I said, "Why don't we look at all three of them, and let's make sure you choose the one you want the new baby to have." So, we went to his room and examined all three. He said, "I want to give all of them to the babies!" Shocked and not sure he understood he wouldn't see them again, I replied, "You do? That's so nice! Are you ready to give all of them? Fontina said she only needs one." I was also terrified he would never sleep again, so I called Sam in: "Daddy, what do you think?" I asked. Sam basically reiterated what I had said - he doesn't have to do that until he feels ready and that he really only needs to give one if he wants. (We made it clear that he doesn't HAVE to do it, but that the only way to get a gift from Fontina was to leave one paci on the front porch.) So, he picked just the brown one. He also wanted to give the keeper/cord to the baby (which was so sweet: "The baby can have that, Mommy"), but ultimately we decided to only give what Fontina requested and keep the cord.

We took one final picture of all three pacifiers together. Then, Banner kissed "brown paci" and told it goodbye. He said, "I love you," and then placed the pacifier in the box.

Then, I suggested that he and Daddy decorate the box for Fontina after dinner. I was bathing Quinn, so I didn't hear this part for myself, but Sam told me he asked Banner if he wanted to write a message. Banner said yes, then proceeded to tell Sam what to write. He thought about what to write for a minute, and then he said: "Forklift." Sam said, "Okay, anything else?" Banner thought, then replied, "Dump truck." Fighting back laughter, Sam said, "Anything else?" Another pause, and then, "Digger." Sam answered, "Is that all?" Banner replied, "Yes," to which Sam asked if he wanted to say he hoped the new baby likes the paci, and Banner said, "Yes." So, here's his note:

Then, Banner and Sam placed the decorated box with the brown paci inside on the front porch before heading to get ready for bed. When bedtime came, Banner told me he wanted his brown paci. Sam and I looked at each other confused and a little anxious that he still didn't understand. "Remember, you put your brown paci in the box for Fontina." He said, "No, I want to give the white paci." So, Sam went to check to see if the box was still on the porch or if Fontina had taken it already. Fortunately, it was still there, and we swapped the brown and the white - again, after saying goodbye to and kissing the white paci for the last time.

There was no more discussion about it until right before I left Banner's room for the night. He said, "Mommy, I want my white paci." I said, "Remember, you gave it to the Paci Fairy," and he basically just said, "Oh," and that was that. It took him about 30 minutes to fall asleep, and he slept great through the night. Then, the next morning, he woke up around 6:45 (later than normal!), he called for me, and when I went in his room, he said, "Mommy! Did the Paci Fairy come?!" I told him I didn't know and said, "How would I know if she'd been here?" He said, "Is there a present?" Again, I told him I didn't know but that we could go check. We went to get Daddy out of bed, and then we went to the front door. When Banner opened it, there was a present waiting for him!!

He was so giddy, and almost afraid of the present! He kept looking at it and laughing. Then, we read the letter from Fontina on the front of the gift.

Inside, Banner found a Mike the Knight talking doll, a fuzzy soft security blanket, and a few chocolate coins! 

He was so excited! And, since I was so proud of him, we celebrated with powdered donuts for breakfast. He enjoyed thinking about what a special thing he had done for a new baby, and I think he'd be willing to give another pacifier pretty soon - but we'll see how the next few nights go. In fact, at nap time this afternoon (his first nap without three pacifiers), he said, "Where's my white paci?" I reminded him, and then he said, "Mommy, I don't WANT the Paci Fairy to take my pacifiers. I don't like that!" with adamant disdain. I told him I was so sorry and then reminded him that he had slept fine last night with just two. Surprisingly, he only responded with, "Oh." :)

And, again tonight, he asked about his white paci at bedtime. I reminded him, and then distracted him, and now he's asleep. I sincerely hope the sleep continues! :) And, I hope he feels okay without having all of his loveys with him. I hate, hate, hate seeing him sad and missing them. I'm not sure when we'll tackle the next two pacis, but I don't think Sam and I are ready any time soon! Maybe, just maybe, this is harder on us than on him! ;)

5-Month Newsletter: Quinn

Dear Quinn,
When Banner turned 5-months-old and we took his monthly photos, I remember thinking, "Now THIS is a fun age!" and so I kept thinking that when you turned 5-months, I would also be feeling the same thing. And, you know what? I am! I was right. Really a couple weeks ago, I felt like things have started getting really fun with you! You are a hoot! Even Daddy said last week, "I think HE'S gonna be the comedian of the family!" referring to you, even though Banner is quite hilarious. You really are so fun, and you bring so much laughter to our already silly family. You LOVE to laugh, smile at anyone who speaks to you, and love to be tickled. In fact, I haven't met anyone as ticklish as you since Aunt Kira was a little girl (she was easily the most ticklish person I have known my whole life). Personally, I hate to be tickled, so I'm always cautious when tickling my boys... giving lots of breathing time and taking your lead on whether you appreciate it or not. You seem to really like it for now. You are also so much more interested in the world around you - grabbing and reaching for toys, recognizing and tuning in to our voices, holding your hands out to touch Banner's hand or to explore Mommy and Daddy's faces, watching us eat, and experimenting with your lips, tongue, hands, and feet.

What else have you been up to this past month?

-You had RSV - a nasty cold that threatened to make you pretty darn sick. Luckily, you were in the minority of 4-month-old babies who get RSV and did NOT have to go the hospital, thank God! An icky cough, a runny nose, a poor appetite, and some restless nights and naps, but you were a trooper through it all. You developed an ear infection during that time, as well, and so far the antibiotics have helped. We will see if it really cleared it up in the coming days.

-You took your first shower this month! Mommy held you in the steamy shower to help open up those airways when you were sick. You loved the water and "cuddling" into me!

-You haven't really regained your appetite yet. You usually take 3-4 ounces very well, and then we have to really work with you to take more. In general, you eat about 5 ounces, and if we are lucky, about 6-7 at a really good feeding.

-Speaking of food, we started rice, oatmeal, and barley cereals this month. You are still figuring out how to eat - how not to push the mush out of your mouth with your tongue, how to open your mouth for the spoon, how to not put your hands in your mouth while we are feeding you! You don't seem to love any of this, but barley and oatmeal are much easier to get you to eat than the rice. I'm hoping when we start veggies and fruits this coming month that you will be more satisfied and enjoy the different tastes. Maybe since you don't have a huge appetite right now, the cereal hasn't gone over great. Or, maybe you really don't like it. I'm not sure which, but I will say that feeding you has become quite a chore for me - and you.

-You're rolling over from belly to back pretty great - and you're trying to figure out how to get from your back to your belly. You are doing a lot of experimenting and getting frustrated that you can't do it yet. But, I'm happy to see you trying to figure it out and working those muscles!

-Your "schedule" right now is all over the place. Since getting sick, you haven't been able to find your "normal" again, and it's undeniably frustrating to me and to Daddy. I'm sure you are frustrated too, and I'm not convinced that you aren't also battling some reflux issues. You don't spit up ALL the time like Banner did, but you certainly seem more bothered by eating. We still haven't been able to drop your middle of the night feeding, even though we only offer you about 2.5 ounces. I think you need that little drink to just calm your belly or your esophagus. . . but I'm no doctor, so I'm just guessing.

-You have your tongue out a large part of your awake time, and you are drooling LOTS. You like to purse your lips together and blow raspberries, and you like it when we tap our fingers against your lips to make rhythmic noises as you say "ahh."

-You will definitely be happier when you can sit upright, so we are working with you to get those sitting muscles prepared. You can sit for a few minutes at a time - but you're mostly slumped over. I don't count this as sitting, but it's a start!

-Just this weekend, you found your feet.

-About two weeks ago, you found my face. You love to reach out and touch my face while I'm feeding you or when I'm burping you. You sometimes pull my face in to yours like you are asking for a kiss or a hug. I LOVE this! I just want to snuggle you all the time! You are very affectionate, and I'm loving that you want to show us your love the same way I want to show you mine!

-You are wearing mostly 6, 6-9, and just today 9-month clothing. You are so tall, so these fit you better. You wear size 3 diapers, and I'm just about ready to order size 4 overnite diapers - I like them bigger so you have more pee space! :)

Quinn, this month has been rough. Daddy and I are very sleep-deprived. Banner hasn't been sleeping well either this month, we've all been under-the-weather here and there or really sick most of the month, and your crazy "schedule" is not helping. But, like I said earlier, 5-months is really a fun time because you are really showing us just how fun you are. You crave our attention, for someone to talk to you, to have someone play with you and really interact with you. You get bored pretty easily if we aren't giving you lots of US. I'm doing the best I can with a toddler who wants just as much attention as you do, so I hope you understand that sometimes it's just hard. I'm hoping we all settle in to a better schedule soon, that you and your brother start sleeping better at night and into the morning (5:30 is not my idea of "time to wake up!"), and that you know how much we want to help you do that but just aren't sure what to do anymore.

Thank you for all those sweet smiles. Thank you for showing me your love when those eyes light up or your head turns to find where my voices is. Thank you for discovering us this month! We are so in love with you and your delightfully sweet personality. You LOVE to be LOVED, and I'm happy to be one of the many who get to love you!

Happy 5 Months, My Love!
Love,
Mommy