Trumped

Dear Banner, Quinn, and Knox,
The world is changing, and it's a volatile place. I try my best to shelter you from the stress the world is feeling right now, but I also want to document how I'm feeling about the country we live in at this tumultuous time so you can later look back and get my (and Daddy's) perspective about this time of great change. Each of you was born when Barack Obama was President. Our 44th President of the United States was the first Black person to lead our nation. I remember the night he was elected and how much pride I felt that our country elected someone who looked different that the previous presidents. I remember feeling such love and such hope. I'm not the most political person, but I do have strong opinions and beliefs that often shape how I raise you all. The longer Daddy and I are together, the more we seem to agree on a lot of issues, which makes it easy to raise you to feel the same way. We believe in acceptance of all people. We celebrate differences and respect our friends and family who aren't exactly like us. We empathize with those who struggle more and are well aware of the privileges we have that others don't simply because of our skin color, our able bodies, our sexual orientation, our gender identities, our economic status, and our education level. So, even if we don't face the kind of discrimination others do, we stand up for those who do and want to see everyone treated equally.

The 2016 election and campaigns leading up to it were grueling for those of us following the drama. When it came time to vote, it was both very simple and very complicated all wrapped into one. Both major party candidates were horrible choices. So, it was hard to even know if we SHOULD vote. But, if I had to pick a person to run our country, it was easy to pick the one with the most experience who would represent our country well and not run us into the ground. While there was controversy and conspiracy seemingly tainting Hillary Clinton's reputation, there was no proof that she had done anything wrong really. Her background and stance on so many issues made it easy to vote for her - the first woman presidential candidate to represent a major political party. Daddy and I agreed we couldn't believe anyone would vote for her opponent, Donald Trump, and felt confident that she would be a better leader. We were sure Hillary Clinton would be the 45th President. You guys were too (well, Knox was too little to talk or know what was going on, but Banner and Quinn were plugging for "the lady" because she "seemed nicer and the man wasn't nice.") We were certain we'd wake you up on November 9th with great news that President Hillary Clinton would take office in a couple short months.

Much to our devastation, we were wrong - as were most Americans across the nation. Polls had predicted a Clinton win, but they were very wrong. Driving to work the morning after the election was the saddest drive. The country felt different. I was in a state of shock and mourning, along with many of my co-workers. It was a sad day for so many people, while others were celebrating a feeling that they had finally been heard, that they were not "invisible" anymore, that their candidate won much to everyone's shock. What bothered me more than the Trump victory was the feeling that I didn't know my fellow countrymen and women, that I was in the minority believing that Trump was corrupt, prejudice, illogical, selfish, misogynistic, homophobic, anti-Semitic, that his ideas were scary and completely out-of-touch with the current times we live in. I felt betrayed by Americans who supported Trump because we really hadn't heard his plans, he was not forthcoming with the people, he was a threat to what I believed in and the world I had been raised in.

I felt somewhat better later learning that the popular vote went to Hillary Clinton, and Trump only won the electoral vote. The way the President is elected is done by a mathematical equation that doesn't always align with the way the majority of the citizens vote. Crazy. I know. But, in some alternate universe, it's supposed to make sense. (!) But, the weeks that followed proved that I was right to be afraid of the President-elect. He was appointing despicable people to his Cabinet. He was using social media in a childish, immature ways and seemed to be so easily insulted whenever anyone spoke ill of him.

As time passed and his Inauguration took place, even more negative news filled our daily lives. First of all, his Inauguration speech was laced with rhetoric that painted the current America with a dark brush and did nothing but repeat his typical campaign speeches. He spoke of "American carnage" and how "America's infrastructure has fallen into despair and decay" and the "sad depletion of our military." He dragged the past presidents who sat directly behind him through the dirt and insulted the work they had done. In the next day and following week, while feuding with the media about the crowd size at his Inauguration, he signed executive order after executive order that enraged most people I know. While he seemed to be speaking for "the forgotten men and women," he was completely disregarding a great deal of those who never felt forgotten. Most of the people who support him are uneducated and seem to think that this evil man that they elected would actually CARE about them and make things better for them.

Throughout the next year and a half, Daddy and I would continue to feel consumed with the ongoing negative information that we kept hearing. From the early days of his presidency when he signed an immigration ban to the more recent days when he nominated and supported a Supreme Court Justice who seemed unfit for the job, we have seen people rise up and speak out, and we continue to feel inspired by the turn-out of protest after protest. We've seen women (and men) march on Washington the day after the Inauguration. The sheer numbers of these crowds lift me up. But, then there are the Trump supporters who keep bringing me right back down. I'd love to just tune it all out, and I do when you guys are around. But, I NEED to know that I'm in a safe place, that my children are in a safe place. And I'm not feeling that way right now.

What I teach in my job as a school counselor and what I teach my three beautiful babies is being destroyed. Acceptance, love, respect, empathy, listening, care... it's all being slowly taken away. This is NOT the American way, and if this country is going to continue in this direction, we are going to have to find a new country.

Yet, this is the country our ancestors came to in the hopes of a better life. We have to continue to fight for what is right. With an upcoming election - in just two days - I'm hopeful things will turn around. I'm hopeful our "ripe for civil war" nation will calm down and go back to being the great nation it once was. Interestingly, the only thing that would "Make America Great Again" (Trump's icky campaign slogan), would be if he weren't president anymore.

History has seen the outcome of a tyrant who alienates its people. We will not let this happen again. We will not let this happen here. It's because of these feelings that we took a high dive into the deep end and started working with our local Democratic party to DO something. Daddy ran for Congress, and although he didn't win, we met some amazing people along the way who share our values. We learned a whole lot about our area, about how to be political activists, about what everything means and how to get more involved. As we speak, neighbors from around our county are in and out of our home - picking up block walking lists, picking up literature to drop off at homes of those who haven't voted yet, grabbing phone bank lists to reach out to people who didn't participate in early voting, and running the numbers of analytical data to best know how to get people to vote in Tuesday's election.

Something big is happening, boys. Something scary and something big.

Like so many of my friends and family who seem to share the same sense of morality and worldview that I do, we can't understand others who feel that Trump is handling his job well. It's unnerving, unsettling, and frightening that there are actual people - even some family members -who support the president or feel that we should give him a chance. My philosophy is that he's lost his chance because he failed to ever earn it. Those same people feel that we (the people who feel and think similarly to Daddy and me) are overreacting and are being "sore losers." This is not so. I have every reason to want Trump to succeed. I very much wanted that - for you three. If we have a failing president, we have a failing country, and therefore, your futures are at stake. So, of course, I never wanted him to fail. But, every passing day when he makes choices for the citizens of the country - and even others around the world - I have a gutterul reaction and feel angry, outraged, and called to action.

I want you boys to grow up in a world where it's not okay to bully others who are different. I want you to know that words matter, actions matter. I want you to have a leader who is competent - and mentally stable. Mr. Trump is not a man to respect in any way. I never thought I'd have to tell my children not to respect the president, but he has made a mockery of the title and the office he holds. Those who support him - well, I won't go there - but I simply don't understand how anyone could think he is doing a good job or is admirable in any way, shape, or form. He lies, he says the news reporters are the enemy of the people, he makes up "alternative facts," he makes fun of others, he doesn't condemn or call out acts of discrimination, anti-Semitism, or racism, he has a fear of people from other countries, he thinks he is greater than everyone else, and most recently he calls himself a "nationalist" which lunatics hear as a call to action to harm and hurt others. I simply can't understand or wrap my head around the fact that so many people still stand behind him simply because they are unwavering on one particular issue while giving up on deeper values (like our Jewish friends who believe only Republicans support Israel aren't willing to change their votes... yet their support of this clown means sacrificing their core Jewish values where it counts at home). Those who support his agenda make me physically ill.

I know I've said a lot. But, I want to end this letter to you three by telling you how very proud I am of YOU guys! As Mommy and Daddy have stepped out of our comfort zone to do what we feel is right for our community and our country, we have often brought you along for the ride. You didn't have much choice in the matter, and we want you to know how much we appreciate that you didn't (okay... rarely) complain. You've gone with us to vote, you've block walked time and time again, you've gone to rallies and community parades and fairs and picnics, you've gone nights and nights and nights without Daddy and occasionally without both of us to tuck you in at night, you've gone on marches and walks and worn campaign shirts to school, you've had strangers-to-you in your house for campaign meetings, and you've helped put out and then gather road and yard signs. You've spent so many hours of your free time doing things that Daddy and I think are important when maybe you didn't. So for that I want to thank you for being troopers!We hope you understand that what we've done the past two years has been BECAUSE of you. We hope that you are learning from us how to step up, be loud, and stand for what you know is right.

We hope all of our - and your - hard work WON'T be "trumped" on Tuesday, but even if we don't win this election, we have moved the political pendulum quite a ways! Change IS coming, boys. I want you to remember to VOTE. I want you to remember you CAN make a difference. I want you to remember what it feels like to do the RIGHT thing.

I love you so very much,
Mommy