Journey to the Knot: Quinn Turns THREE!: Newsletter

Dear Quinn,
What a difference a year makes, My Love! This time last year, you were sleeping in a crib, had pacifiers you were attached to, took a nap, and wore diapers. Now, none of that is the same! You have made some big strides and accomplished some big things in these last 12 months! You've become a big brother, learned to use the potty (even over night!), made new friends, learned to be a student, and swim like a little fishy! I am so very proud of you and your accomplishments, but more than that I've just adored your sweetness, affection, generosity, and pure compassion! I'm going to miss the year you were 2, because you were anything but terrible! I've never been around a two-year-old as wise, intuitive, and sweet as you. As you've neared three, you've become a little feisty, slightly aggressive with your brothers, and daring. But, underneath your desire to test our limits and our patience, you are simply the most cooperative, sensitive, joyful little boy. In fact, you went through a little stint towards the middle of your Toddlers class when Ms. Tali and Ms. Alison would tell us that you'd been going around telling everyone what we often heard at home: "I'm a bad guy!" in a gruff voice. The funny thing is, you desperately wanted to be but just couldn't ever fulfill the meanness you had hoped for. Your smile and endearing ways just never really matched that "bad guy" persona you were trying on.

My biggest fear for you is that you will be "run over" by more powerful personalities (like your big brother's). True to the "middle child" stereotype, you often get the raw end of the deal. It often just seems to be your luck that you don't get what you want all the time, and it breaks my heart to watch it happen all too often. For instance, we were at Graham and Greenley's birthday party a couple weeks ago, and you noticed too late that there were water balloons the other kids had been playing with. Once you realized it, you wanted some too, and of course then there weren't any left. Then, you wanted to go decorate a cookie like everyone else, but lo and behold, as we went to choose your cookie, big brother got the last one. Tears ensued and my heart broke again for you. There was a God that morning, and Banner decided to break his cookie in half for you to have some. But, that's the kind of thing I see over and over again, and I just feel so protective of that for you. You're often too sweet to get your way - letting others get what they want without much thought of yourself and how that impacts you. Another example is how Banner will hardly ever share with you, and he will assume that you'll never share with him - but when I tell him to just ask you, you of course oblige and share anything you have - a turn with a toy, a piece of your candy, the rest of your slurpee... you name it. You are typically so cooperative and only get upset when someone has taken advantage of you or threatens to (like Banner coming to take something from you or Levi grabbing what you have). It would never occur to you (at least not yet!) to hit or punch or grab back.

Instead, you immediately go to whining or screaming or crying - or all of the above. Sometimes you just shut down and cry for me over and over without explaining what happened or what is wrong. The easiest way to get you to calm down is to have you look in my eyes, have me tell you that you are okay, and have you use your words to explain what you want. Sometimes, it's the littlest thing - like last night you were angry and crying incessantly until we realized what was wrong - that Banner took your cup holder in the car and you wanted to put YOUR cup there. Once handled, you were all better.

Those tantrums are happening more and more as you headed towards this birthday. And, man alive, it's testing my patience. Most often, though, a hug or a cuddle or some TLC does the trick. Sometimes you just need mommy or daddy. Sometimes you just need to be acknowledged. In the thick of raising three active boys, we have to remember how you need and adore that affection you've always loved so much. And, oh my goodness, do I love that about you! It drives me nuts when I'm trying to cook dinner or bathe Knox or get Banner ready for school - but that neediness won't always be there, and I know I'll miss it when my hug can't make it all better!

Another one of my absolute favorite things is the way you talk. On every level. The vocabulary you have, the intriguing ideas and thoughts you have, and of course, your "New York accent." You say "togevah" instead of "together," or "heyah" instead of "here." You say "Bayonnuh" instead of "Banner." Your little voice and sweet pronunciation, I just want to bottle it all up! "We had a fieuh dweel at school tuhday, and Aiden Gween cwied because he was scayud. I didn't see Bayonnuh; I only sawed my fwends. Daniel cwied too because he was afwaid of the fieuh dweel alahm."

Your sentences are long and fluent and insightful. At the end of Aiden G's party in February, his mom (a speech/language pathologist) commented on how she loves to listen to you speak because it's so unusual to hear a 2 year old speak with such long sentences. You have been fully conversational for well over a year, but it's really picked up with amazing diction and vocabulary. Your teachers always comment on the unique things you say, especially loving your manners and how you won't leave the lunch table without saying, "May I be excused, please?" In fact, Ms. Ilene told us this summer that you don't "eat" lunch, you "dine." Your teachers have told us what a "perfect student" you are. Ms. Heather once told me this summer, "Quinn is a model student. He's a Hebrew scholar." And last week, Ms. Randi told me she can't get over the words she hears you use. You'll say, "No, but thank you for offering," or "I don't prefer that." One day last school year, we got in the car and the music was getting too loud for me to hear you. I went to turn it down as I said, "That's too loud." You said, "It's crescendo." You went on to explain, "The music got louder; it's crescendo." I texted Aunt Kira who agreed you were right and "lol'ed" at your usage.

We conquered word pronunciation this year as best we could. "Wello" is now correctly, "yellow." "Canpakes" (which was "mancakes" before you were 2), is now correctly "pancakes."

You have a heart of gold, My Love. You never want anyone to be left out; even if that person may have been terribly rude to you a moment ago, you're concerned if it looks like I might leave him behind or shut the garage before he has entered the house. "But wait, Mommy!! Wait," you will demand as you begin to cry or whine loudly. When Banner spent the night out with Brycen and Nami, we FaceTime'd him and you told him, "But, Banner, I want you to come home. I miss you." (And I'm sure somewhere deep inside, he wanted to tell you the same thing - but didn't.) When Knox went to the doctor, you were worried he would get shots and were so relieved when you learned he didn't have to have one. When I get home from work, you give big hugs with a smile on your face and say, "Mommy, I missed you!" or "Mommy, I was missing you!" When I pick you up from camp or school, you run to me, "Mommy!!!" or "Mommy, you said I would have a good time. And, I did!"

It makes you so happy to: do art projects (no matter how big or small or complicated), to clean messes by yourself, to go to Chuck E Cheese, to eat donuts for breakfast, to go to Grandma & Papa's house, to swim, to watch Daniel Tiger or Team Umizoomi, to big tickled or chased or tossed in the air, to get a lollipop ("lullipop"), to have a "snack" of any kind, to have milk first thing in the morning, for Daddy or me to stay for Shabbat, to play a game.

You are snoring less these days, probably thanks to your Flonase medicine we started back up again. After a visit to Dr. P (ENT), we tried Nasocort, but we didn't have much luck. Once we switched to Flonase, we saw a difference for you. Dr. P thinks it may do the trick in shrinking your adenoids so we have been trying that out to avoid surgery. The snoring was pretty bad, but now it's better. You stick your tongue out or bite on the tip of it when you get nervous/embarrassed/anxious. Once your shyness subsides and you warm up to your environment, LOOK OUT! You, my friend, are one loud little guy. In fact, I'm thinking about asking Dr. B about your hearing because you are so damn loud! But, I am 99% sure it's behavioral and that you just can't control your excitement! *Added 9/16/16: We just returned from your well-check with Dr. B. Here are your stats:

-Weight: 31.6 pounds = 50th percentile
-Height: 36.25 inches = 25th percentile
-BMI: 16.9 = 75th percentile
-Developmentally: 3 years, 10 months! Wowza! Dr. B was super-impressed with your speech and vocabulary. In fact, we kept answering with "Yes"es and when he finally asked, "Can he write his own name yet?" we got to a "no" much to Dr. B's relief that we weren't just making all this up! He pointed to colors on the wall, and you knew each one. He pointed to the white part of the animated character's eye on the wall, and when you said, "White and black" (because the eye part was black), impressed, he said, "Well, okay!" You are one smart cookie, my little lovey.

What else, Quinn? What can I tell you about you at this age? This beautiful age you are - and how I hope it stays beautiful! I'm anxious as we head into this threenage year... when little angels are known to become quite devious. I'm hoping we can maintain our relationship with each other and not push each other away during the trying times of growing independence. You so badly want to do everything yourself, but then want my help when you get frustrated. You so badly want to show me you're not a baby: "No, I wanna do it" you'll whine. But, putting your own seat belt on or wiping your own bottom or brushing your own teeth - it's just a little difficult to do. I have no doubt that in a year, you will have fully mastered these tasks. But, for now, it's a challenge. You're making big strides, but you are only 3... and you've gotta let me help you. At the same time, you gotta TRY to do some other easy tasks. This is where we both get frustrated. You know how to put your underwear on. You know how to get down the stairs on your own. You don't need me to watch you do every little step.

But, I have to say, I fully expected a regression as we moved into this new house, as Knox became mobile, as the new school year began. And, so far so good. I know that ship hasn't sailed yet, and anything is possible, but I'm so proud of how you've handled yourself. Yes, there are times you are draining and whiny and so dramatically needy. And, yes, especially after dropping your nap, your late afternoons and evenings are even harder. But, mostly, you're holding your own and growing up so quickly!

We celebrated your birthday at a special birthday party last Sunday. It was one of the best parties I've ever been to, and I had SO much fun celebrating you with some of your favorite people at one of your favorite places. The party couldn't have gone better - and couldn't have been any easier to plan and implement. One of the highlights was when Daddy and one of the teachers helped you ride a motorcycle around your friends at the end of the party. Although Banner was pretty upset he didn't get a turn (and cried because he was feeling so jealous), the motorcycle was a hit, and I kinda teared up watching how happy you were and how you got to be the center of attention! You looked like Mr. Cool riding around on that thing. You also got to swing while everyone sang "Happy Birthday" to you, and you were loving this attention you aren't used to getting all to yourself.

We continued the celebration this morning - with traditional balloons upon waking up, donuts for breakfast, birthday pictures in the recliner, Daddy joining you at school for Shabbat, Mommy coming up to school when you shared the cake you baked there with your friends, and Chuck E Cheese for dinner and games. Sugar, sugar, and more sugar all day! And the whole day, I've pretty much reflected on our first day together - 3 years ago in the hospital just cuddling away. A memory I often reflect on each night as we cuddle, those same days were greatly on my mind as we held hands in your bed and I sang you to sleep tonight - this first night as a three-year-old.

Quinn Redding, I love you love you love you! I hope you know how special you are to me - to all of us. Everyone who meets you praises you and immediately notices what a sweet, sweet boy you are. I'm so very fortunate to be your Mommy. Thank you for being you and for loving me. And thank you for letting me love you right back!

Happy, happy third birthday, My Love!

I love you with every piece of my heart!
Love,
Mommy