Journey to the Knot: 95% Baked: BBJ3

Saturday, February 13, 2016

95% Baked: BBJ3

Technically, I'm really 38 weeks and 4 days, so we are only 3 days out from meeting BBJ3, which makes him more than 95% "baked," but alas, I have two kids who make blogging "on time" very difficult. It's a Saturday today. It's our last weekend as a family of four. In a few short days, we will welcome this little guy, and our lives will forever be different than they are right now. People have been asking if I'm ready. The truth is, I'm very physically ready. But, how can you ever really be mentally ready for such a change of adding a human to the world? Are we ever really prepared for that whirlwind of a miracle? Of such a big adjustment to a new little life?

Physically, the house is as ready as I want it to be. Everything is washed and waiting in its place - minus the Pack 'N Play, which I won't set up until he's here. We are pretty much set - car seats in place, bottles sanitized, diapers waiting, meals frozen, and two big brothers who have been counting down for a while!

My body is ready to evict the little guy, too. He's gotten so low, it's like he's ready to escape at his first chance, and I'd like for him to either move up or move out! Braxton Hicks are a constant at this point. Nothing painful at all, but extremely uncomfortable when I have them again and again. I'm constantly fearing a knock in the belly from Banner or Quinn as they charge towards me while I'm contracting. Bumpy rides in the car are so uncomfortable while contracting through jolts over speed bumps. I have a lot of pressure down low, and I may have forgotten how to walk without waddling. Charley horses threaten my legs/ankles/toes throughout the night, and if I forget my meds, reflux is a constant companion. My belly button has never been pushed to this limit, and although there is still room for it to completely pop out, I have more of an outie than I ever got with Banner or Quinn. Ankles have officially started swelling, although still not to the point they did with the other boys - which is nice, especially considering that I'm back at work AND have two kids to keep me on my feet all day. I rarely rest for long, so the fact that I've only noticed any swelling since maybe a week or 2 ago is pretty impressive. I'll take it! At my last OB appointment, my blood pressure was great, my weight gain was completely on track (I've gained 23 pounds - the least I've gained through all 3 pregnancies, which baffles my mind given the Hostess cupcakes and Pop Tarts I once couldn't get enough of!), and I'm measuring where I should. We talked about the details for the upcoming C-section, and then I walked out of the office for the last time as a pregnant person (which may have hit Sam harder than it hit me as were checking out and walking back through the waiting room).

Emotionally, I'm doing great, too. Banner has probably caused me the most nostalgia as he worries about me in the hospital and doesn't want me to be gone next week. He wants me to rock him at night and wants me to sing him lullabies each night, too. He cries at the thought that I won't be here to sing him his songs while I'm in the hospital and tells me how much he's going to miss me. He wants me to get in his top bunk and lay with him at night, but it's physically too difficult for me to get up and down from there. It breaks my heart, although I'm so glad he cares! I recorded myself singing his lullabies so he will be able to play those while I'm not here at night, and I'm hopeful that will help him through the few nights I'll be away. He's been crawling in our bed around 2 or 3 AM (or earlier) and wanting to snuggle a lot. He wants us with him all the time. We have tried to explain the sleepless nights that are heading Mommy & Daddy's way, but he won't understand that or the fact that the baby will cry a lot at night until he experiences it. We're hoping that deters him from wanting to be in our room in the middle of the night, but we shall see... Quinn is well aware there is a baby coming, but he won't know what that truly means until it's a reality in his world each day and night. I'm still soaking him up as my littlest and loving his "2-year-old-ness!" He's truly a hoot! I believe he will handle the transition well as long as we give him a lot of affection and attention.

Mentally, I think I'm as ready as I can be. No idea what life with 3 will be like - other than hectic. Just imagining 6 socks to help put on, or 6 little shoes - trying to get out the door with everyone's diapers and snacks and jackets - it's a bit overwhelming, so I'm trying not to get too ahead of myself. After all, it is what it is, and we will make it work. I'm ready to take advantage of the newborn that can sleep or eat anywhere anytime, and I'm trying not to worry too much about the 3, 4, 5-month old who will later need to have a bed to sleep in at a certain time of day. I'll learn. He'll learn. And, from that standpoint, there's a lot of "letting it go" and chilling out that has already taken place as a mom of three. I'm hoping that continues... the whole "eh" or "oh well" and "it'll be fine" attitude I seem to have going on. There's a lot of liberation that comes with experience and confidence of the third time and the "this ain't my first rodeo" feeling.

So, as I wind down this last pregnancy update, I feel ready. I made it to all the meetings I needed to at work; I feel good about where I left things at work, and everything's ready for my long-term sub. Both boys are set with everything they need right now - new shoes, new haircuts, gifts to give and get at the hospital. We've had our last Shabbat as a family of 4, had an awesome weekend of playing and nesting, and we are almost completely packed for the hospital. I'm praying for a smooth, uneventful delivery. I'm praying for a healthy baby who fits the name we have chosen for him (if we decide to really stick with it!). I'm praying that my big boys feel loved and cared for and attended to during this big time of transition and change for our family. I'm praying for sanity as we enter another round of deliriously sleep-deprived days and nights. I'm praying for patience as Sam and I figure out how to parent 3 boys, as we learn to nurture them, ourselves, and our marriage in a delicate balancing act. And, I'm praying for a hospital stay free from the wrath of Nipple Nazis, whom I heard have had a resurrection since our last hospital stay.

Here's a look back at some of my final belly shots with each boy. More to come on Tuesday - or, let's be more realistic... Wednesday! :)