"Mommy, I'm So Proud of You!"

So many days and nights are filled with bickering with my "threenage" son. Banner can be argumentative, demanding, cranky, and down-right rude these days. I often go to bed wondering what I'm doing wrong or what I could have done differently when I feel so frustrated with his antics and awful behavior, especially at the end of the day. I've learned that his behaviors are quite exactly what they should be for a boy his age and that I'm certainly not alone in feeling the way I do about his dawdling, his inability to respond to my questions, his inattentiveness, and his assertion of independence. Watching him struggle with sharing his toys and space with his brother, dealing with the sharp cries and yells of frustration, and finding patience as I ask him for the umpteenth time to obey my requests take a toll on me emotionally and physically. It's hard to feel like I'm losing him or have lost my sweet boy on a daily basis. It's hard to know that he is capable of so much more than he gives at times. But, I suppose it's the hardest to watch my baby feel such struggles within himself as he navigates his place in the world and tries to figure out how he fits into it. He's doing all the "right" things for his age, and he's on the road to independence by asserting himself  - even when it frustrates Mommy.

But, today, we had a great day. It was a day that I want to remember during the "not-so-good" days. It was a day when he was on his best behavior and he remembered all of what we expect from him without needing be reminded. He used his manners, he asked for things politely, he listened the first time, he responded when asked questions, he shared with his friends, he played nicely with Quinn, he followed directions promptly, he even corrected his speech when he would say things incorrectly at first ("THank you" after saying "Shank you"). And, at the end of the day, this was a little of our conversation during our cuddle time before he fell asleep:

I asked him what his favorite part of his day was. "Being outside at Britt & Brittney's house," he said.

"Do you know what my favorite part was?" I asked him.

"It was being outside at Britt & Brittney's house!" he suggested.

"Well, I liked that, but it wasn't my most favorite. MY most favorite was when I was cutting Quinn's fingernails and he was holding Mike the Knight. You asked what he was playing with, and when I told you, you asked if you could have it. I said no, that it was Quinn's turn. You said, 'Can I have it when he's done?' When we told you 'Of course!' you calmly walked away to wait your turn. Daddy and I were so happy that you had that idea on your own. It made Mommy very happy to see you share like that."

Then, he leaned over and gave me a hug. "Thank you," I said.

"Do you know why I gave you a hug?"

"Why?"

"Because I'm so proud of you, Mommy!" he told me happily. "I'm proud of you for saying that to me."

"Thank you for telling me that. Can I give you a hug?" I said, as I leaned in to give him another squeeze.

"Why did you give me another hug?"

"Because I love you. I love you and wanted to show you how much I love you with a big hug," I told him.

We just laid there talking and hugging and cuddling. And, while we do that most nights, it was obvious that he felt so much joy in our cuddle tonight, that he agreed he had done a great job today, that he loved hearing how great he did. I praise him often - especially as we greet the night and wind down from a busy day - but this night felt different. It was a night when I felt like all our efforts and modeling are getting through to him. There is a light every now and then! There is a light of hope that these "terrible threes" are going to pass and our boy will be just fine! There are wonderful moments that deserve to be documented just as much as those days of constant testing. Today, we did not fail. Today, I'm celebrating my boy.