Journey to the Knot: First Last Day of School

Monday, June 2, 2014

First Last Day of School

Dear Banner,
Back in August, I wrote you this letter about your very first first day of school. I also wrote a blog post about how I was feeling as you were about to embark on the new school year. To sum those feelings up, I was feeling somewhat sad that our time "just us" was over, that you would be impacted by so many other outside influences that I had no control over, that you were growing up so (too!) fast! I was also worried about how the year would go - how you'd do being all on your own without a family member with you (as you'd always had until then), how you'd eat your lunch without constant reminders to keep eating, how you'd ever manage to use the potties at school, how you'd decide to stay with your class and not run off, or how you'd treat the other students. There was a lot of anxiety on my part, and even though I knew it would all be perfectly fine, I'm still allowed to be your mom - which often entails worrying!

As the last day of school approached, I found myself getting more and more sad. What a year it has been! So many changes and challenges that our family has faced together, and through it all, I felt like your teachers were holding my hand just as much as they were holding yours to guide you through it all. You began the year having JUST moved to a big boy bed and bedroom. You were expecting a new baby brother, and you had no idea just how much life was about to change. Then came Quinn and lots of change at home. Soon, you were saying goodbye to pacifiers and to diapers, and you were attending swim lessons and then learning to be independent with the potty. Big changes! And you handled every single one of them gracefully! I owe so much of the consistency in your life to your school and your teachers and even your classmates and their parents. Those familiar places and faces have been a rock for you. You truly love your school, love learning, love all the experiences you've had.

I am so grateful that you've had an amazing first year of school and that your introduction to "formal education" has been a fabulous one! I'm just a little sad that it's already over - that it feels like yesterday I had all those anxieties about you starting out. I'm thinking I'll probably feel this way every year - especially the big years like PreK and Kinder and 1st grade and your last year in elementary or your first year in high school or certainly your Senior year.... But, how can I not get attached to teachers who take care of you, to friends you make along the way, to parents who look out for you, to administrators who want you to always do your best... They are all part of this village it takes to raise you well, and it makes me sad to say goodbye to them. And then I realize that most of these people will still be with you next year - but your teachers won't. And, Quinn will most likely have these same teachers and go through it all too. But, honestly, that doesn't help. I'll feel the same way when it's "his turn," because he's my baby, too. Yet, this isn't about just the other people. It's about you, Banner. It's about my little Angel Baby getting so big so fast and slipping away. I look at your first day picture and see how soft and chubby your little hands were and how thin and sturdy they've gotten this year. I see that little boy who had no idea what adventures he was about to have. I see how small and inexperienced you were and how far you've grown. And, while these changes are positive and wonderful, I just miss you already!

In one short, fast 3-days-a-week school year, we've already had lots of lunches packed, snacks distributed, backpacks strapped on, getting dressed and fed and teeth-brushed and hair combed (and gelled!), snow days, a sick day, art created... You've learned your Jewish holidays and prayers, sung new songs, experienced awesome science experiments, baked lots of cakes and breads and matzah, celebrated your friends' birthdays, learned to jump and throw and catch, taken good care of library books, presented 2 Shabbat performances, invited your grandparents to join you at school, enjoyed a Passover sedar and made a Haggadah, introduced your baby brother to the school, played with new friends and learned to share and cooperate, read great books, heard amazing stories, joined in many circle times, played Pharaoh in a class skit, experienced new textures and sounds and sights and materials, and learned so many wonderful things about seasons and plants and nursery rhymes and bugs and . . . the list is nearly never-ending. Then, just as quickly as the school year began, it came to an end.

So, with a heavy but full heart, we had your last days of the 2s class, your very first last days. There was a library day when you didn't check out a book to bring home. There was a final lunch packed and a final Shabbat to celebrate. There was a cubby to clean out and artwork to bring home. There was a swim party and a summer birthday celebration. There were teacher gifts and pictures to take. There was both excitement and sadness in the air. There was a final discussion with your teacher, a night filled with looking at all your work throughout the year in a very cool book your teachers made for you, a dinner spent looking through the photo books they made for you and reminiscing about what you were doing and who else is in each picture with you, and lots of discussion about what happens after the last official day. Then, that day came, and there were final goodbyes. A final walk through the classroom, a final kiss on Myka's shoulder, a final stalling to leave, a final hug for Ms. Jennifer, a final embrace from Ms. Betty, a final goodbye to Nadine and Aunt Kira - who showed you a few different rooms that might be yours next school year, a final chocolate from Ms. Sheryl, and a final stroll down the ramp. And then, summer began!