Fontina, the Paci Fairy

Ever since Banner was 2 weeks old, he's had a pacifier. We had tried to keep him away from them while trying to establish breastfeeding, but when that wasn't working for us, Sam and I decided to go ahead and give him a paci. His first pacifiers are the same ones Quinn uses now, the GumDrop pacifiers (from Hawaii Medical - not the First Years ones) which have the space cut out for the nose - but they are otherwise the same as Soothies. The instructions from the manufacturer said that these pacifiers were not recommended once your child has teeth, so at around 6-7 months, Sam and I tried to get Banner to start liking other options. He was at the point where he could re-paci himself, if he could find it, and not need us to come rescue him in the middle of the night. So, we happily spread a few pacifiers in his crib. The Soothie was easy for him to like since it was so close to what he had been using, and he took to the Nuk pacifiers quickly as well. So, he ended up with 2 Soothies and 2 Nuks in his bed each night. A couple months before Banner learned to climb out of his crib (and therefore, a couple months before moving to his "big boy bed"), we misplaced a Soothie, but since Banner did so well without it, we never gave it back. He never even asked about it. 

However, since that time, his "blue paci," "white paci," and "brown paci" have become his best friends. They all three go together for naps and for bedtime. He has to have all of them, and he adores them. So, the thought of weaning him from them is not only hard on Banner, but it's emotional and difficult for Sam and me, too. We have been dreading this for a while, but we know it needs to be done. I'm not opposed to him having these "loveys," especially since the dentist has told us that (at this point) Banner's teeth are not affected by having them. BUT, lately, they've been the cause of midnight wakings when he can't locate one of them. I even tied pacifier keepers/bungee cords to them so he could hold them easier... and slightly hoping he'd attach to the cord and NOT the paci.

In any event, it was time to say goodbye to at least one of them. Sam and I thought long and hard about how best to do this, and we're okay with a longer weaning period rather than cutting him off from all of his best friends cold-turkey - especially since he's still in a fragile time with possible regression since Quinn's birth. So, we had been telling Banner about the possibility of the Paci Fairy coming to take his pacifiers to the new babies at the hospital. He liked this idea, but I don't think he ever imagined the Paci Fairy would ever really come!

Just this Friday evening, though, he got his very own letter from the Paci Fairy! Banner and I went to check the mail, and there was a letter addressed to Banner along with a plain, white, empty box. "What's this, Banner? You got a letter!" He was immediately excited. He was pretending to be the mailman on his tricycle, and he got off of his trike, came to see the box and letter, and then he took all the mail inside to see what it was. We opened the letter, and this is what it said:

We read it together a few times until he fully understood what Fontina was asking of him. He immediately said, "I will give my brown paci." Sam and I were shocked. This is his favorite one (and therefore ours)! We were certain he would choose the white one, but he ran to his room to get the brown one, came back, and put the brown one in the box. I said, "Why don't we look at all three of them, and let's make sure you choose the one you want the new baby to have." So, we went to his room and examined all three. He said, "I want to give all of them to the babies!" Shocked and not sure he understood he wouldn't see them again, I replied, "You do? That's so nice! Are you ready to give all of them? Fontina said she only needs one." I was also terrified he would never sleep again, so I called Sam in: "Daddy, what do you think?" I asked. Sam basically reiterated what I had said - he doesn't have to do that until he feels ready and that he really only needs to give one if he wants. (We made it clear that he doesn't HAVE to do it, but that the only way to get a gift from Fontina was to leave one paci on the front porch.) So, he picked just the brown one. He also wanted to give the keeper/cord to the baby (which was so sweet: "The baby can have that, Mommy"), but ultimately we decided to only give what Fontina requested and keep the cord.

We took one final picture of all three pacifiers together. Then, Banner kissed "brown paci" and told it goodbye. He said, "I love you," and then placed the pacifier in the box.

Then, I suggested that he and Daddy decorate the box for Fontina after dinner. I was bathing Quinn, so I didn't hear this part for myself, but Sam told me he asked Banner if he wanted to write a message. Banner said yes, then proceeded to tell Sam what to write. He thought about what to write for a minute, and then he said: "Forklift." Sam said, "Okay, anything else?" Banner thought, then replied, "Dump truck." Fighting back laughter, Sam said, "Anything else?" Another pause, and then, "Digger." Sam answered, "Is that all?" Banner replied, "Yes," to which Sam asked if he wanted to say he hoped the new baby likes the paci, and Banner said, "Yes." So, here's his note:

Then, Banner and Sam placed the decorated box with the brown paci inside on the front porch before heading to get ready for bed. When bedtime came, Banner told me he wanted his brown paci. Sam and I looked at each other confused and a little anxious that he still didn't understand. "Remember, you put your brown paci in the box for Fontina." He said, "No, I want to give the white paci." So, Sam went to check to see if the box was still on the porch or if Fontina had taken it already. Fortunately, it was still there, and we swapped the brown and the white - again, after saying goodbye to and kissing the white paci for the last time.

There was no more discussion about it until right before I left Banner's room for the night. He said, "Mommy, I want my white paci." I said, "Remember, you gave it to the Paci Fairy," and he basically just said, "Oh," and that was that. It took him about 30 minutes to fall asleep, and he slept great through the night. Then, the next morning, he woke up around 6:45 (later than normal!), he called for me, and when I went in his room, he said, "Mommy! Did the Paci Fairy come?!" I told him I didn't know and said, "How would I know if she'd been here?" He said, "Is there a present?" Again, I told him I didn't know but that we could go check. We went to get Daddy out of bed, and then we went to the front door. When Banner opened it, there was a present waiting for him!!

He was so giddy, and almost afraid of the present! He kept looking at it and laughing. Then, we read the letter from Fontina on the front of the gift.

Inside, Banner found a Mike the Knight talking doll, a fuzzy soft security blanket, and a few chocolate coins! 

He was so excited! And, since I was so proud of him, we celebrated with powdered donuts for breakfast. He enjoyed thinking about what a special thing he had done for a new baby, and I think he'd be willing to give another pacifier pretty soon - but we'll see how the next few nights go. In fact, at nap time this afternoon (his first nap without three pacifiers), he said, "Where's my white paci?" I reminded him, and then he said, "Mommy, I don't WANT the Paci Fairy to take my pacifiers. I don't like that!" with adamant disdain. I told him I was so sorry and then reminded him that he had slept fine last night with just two. Surprisingly, he only responded with, "Oh." :)

And, again tonight, he asked about his white paci at bedtime. I reminded him, and then distracted him, and now he's asleep. I sincerely hope the sleep continues! :) And, I hope he feels okay without having all of his loveys with him. I hate, hate, hate seeing him sad and missing them. I'm not sure when we'll tackle the next two pacis, but I don't think Sam and I are ready any time soon! Maybe, just maybe, this is harder on us than on him! ;)

5-Month Newsletter: Quinn

Dear Quinn,
When Banner turned 5-months-old and we took his monthly photos, I remember thinking, "Now THIS is a fun age!" and so I kept thinking that when you turned 5-months, I would also be feeling the same thing. And, you know what? I am! I was right. Really a couple weeks ago, I felt like things have started getting really fun with you! You are a hoot! Even Daddy said last week, "I think HE'S gonna be the comedian of the family!" referring to you, even though Banner is quite hilarious. You really are so fun, and you bring so much laughter to our already silly family. You LOVE to laugh, smile at anyone who speaks to you, and love to be tickled. In fact, I haven't met anyone as ticklish as you since Aunt Kira was a little girl (she was easily the most ticklish person I have known my whole life). Personally, I hate to be tickled, so I'm always cautious when tickling my boys... giving lots of breathing time and taking your lead on whether you appreciate it or not. You seem to really like it for now. You are also so much more interested in the world around you - grabbing and reaching for toys, recognizing and tuning in to our voices, holding your hands out to touch Banner's hand or to explore Mommy and Daddy's faces, watching us eat, and experimenting with your lips, tongue, hands, and feet.

What else have you been up to this past month?

-You had RSV - a nasty cold that threatened to make you pretty darn sick. Luckily, you were in the minority of 4-month-old babies who get RSV and did NOT have to go the hospital, thank God! An icky cough, a runny nose, a poor appetite, and some restless nights and naps, but you were a trooper through it all. You developed an ear infection during that time, as well, and so far the antibiotics have helped. We will see if it really cleared it up in the coming days.

-You took your first shower this month! Mommy held you in the steamy shower to help open up those airways when you were sick. You loved the water and "cuddling" into me!

-You haven't really regained your appetite yet. You usually take 3-4 ounces very well, and then we have to really work with you to take more. In general, you eat about 5 ounces, and if we are lucky, about 6-7 at a really good feeding.

-Speaking of food, we started rice, oatmeal, and barley cereals this month. You are still figuring out how to eat - how not to push the mush out of your mouth with your tongue, how to open your mouth for the spoon, how to not put your hands in your mouth while we are feeding you! You don't seem to love any of this, but barley and oatmeal are much easier to get you to eat than the rice. I'm hoping when we start veggies and fruits this coming month that you will be more satisfied and enjoy the different tastes. Maybe since you don't have a huge appetite right now, the cereal hasn't gone over great. Or, maybe you really don't like it. I'm not sure which, but I will say that feeding you has become quite a chore for me - and you.

-You're rolling over from belly to back pretty great - and you're trying to figure out how to get from your back to your belly. You are doing a lot of experimenting and getting frustrated that you can't do it yet. But, I'm happy to see you trying to figure it out and working those muscles!

-Your "schedule" right now is all over the place. Since getting sick, you haven't been able to find your "normal" again, and it's undeniably frustrating to me and to Daddy. I'm sure you are frustrated too, and I'm not convinced that you aren't also battling some reflux issues. You don't spit up ALL the time like Banner did, but you certainly seem more bothered by eating. We still haven't been able to drop your middle of the night feeding, even though we only offer you about 2.5 ounces. I think you need that little drink to just calm your belly or your esophagus. . . but I'm no doctor, so I'm just guessing.

-You have your tongue out a large part of your awake time, and you are drooling LOTS. You like to purse your lips together and blow raspberries, and you like it when we tap our fingers against your lips to make rhythmic noises as you say "ahh."

-You will definitely be happier when you can sit upright, so we are working with you to get those sitting muscles prepared. You can sit for a few minutes at a time - but you're mostly slumped over. I don't count this as sitting, but it's a start!

-Just this weekend, you found your feet.

-About two weeks ago, you found my face. You love to reach out and touch my face while I'm feeding you or when I'm burping you. You sometimes pull my face in to yours like you are asking for a kiss or a hug. I LOVE this! I just want to snuggle you all the time! You are very affectionate, and I'm loving that you want to show us your love the same way I want to show you mine!

-You are wearing mostly 6, 6-9, and just today 9-month clothing. You are so tall, so these fit you better. You wear size 3 diapers, and I'm just about ready to order size 4 overnite diapers - I like them bigger so you have more pee space! :)

Quinn, this month has been rough. Daddy and I are very sleep-deprived. Banner hasn't been sleeping well either this month, we've all been under-the-weather here and there or really sick most of the month, and your crazy "schedule" is not helping. But, like I said earlier, 5-months is really a fun time because you are really showing us just how fun you are. You crave our attention, for someone to talk to you, to have someone play with you and really interact with you. You get bored pretty easily if we aren't giving you lots of US. I'm doing the best I can with a toddler who wants just as much attention as you do, so I hope you understand that sometimes it's just hard. I'm hoping we all settle in to a better schedule soon, that you and your brother start sleeping better at night and into the morning (5:30 is not my idea of "time to wake up!"), and that you know how much we want to help you do that but just aren't sure what to do anymore.

Thank you for all those sweet smiles. Thank you for showing me your love when those eyes light up or your head turns to find where my voices is. Thank you for discovering us this month! We are so in love with you and your delightfully sweet personality. You LOVE to be LOVED, and I'm happy to be one of the many who get to love you!

Happy 5 Months, My Love!
Love,
Mommy