What I Know About BBJ So Far

I don't know my son yet... no idea what his personality is like, how he'll react to certain things, if he really looks like the 3D sono pics in reality, who he'll take after, etc. But, I do know a few things about our Baby Boy J (BBJ for short - no, not his initials):

-He loves to reassure his mama! Just when I wonder if everything's going okay in there, he'll give me a little poke, roll, tumble, jab, or kick to reassure me. It's like he's a mind reader, knowing right at that moment that I need him to move! This is one of my favorite things about him - other than actually feeling him move. 9 times out of 10, he will move right after I say to him in my head, "You okay in there? Please move! Please?" And, then, he responds with a movement of some kind, to which I reply, "Thank you!!" I picture him saying, "I'm fine, Mom! Stop worrying!" followed by, "You're welcome!" He has impeccable manners and is very cooperative!

-His most active times (like many babies) are when I'm not active. Laying in bed, relaxing on the couch, sitting at my computer, etc. This is awesome during a faculty meeting or a conference where I'm doing a lot of listening and am bored! He's quite the entertainer!

-He's most active in the mornings from 9:30-11:00ish and in the evenings anywhere from 5:00ish to 7:00ish.

-When I talk, he stops moving. If I want Sam to feel him, I have to whisper or tap or do something where my vocal chords don't vibrate. He's such a great listener!

-He'll move when my hands are on my belly, but he often stops when Sam puts his hands on me to feel him. We've figured it's the warmth of Sam's hands that cause the difference because if he puts the back of his hand against my belly, then BBJ keeps moving. Pretty perceptive!

-He rarely moves after I eat. Most babies move after a meal due to increased sugar - so I've read. But, not my little one. Bananas are the only food that causes a slight increase in activity. ...tolerates his sugar well! :)

-When we play music for him through headphones on my belly, he only moves to songs I play often (lullabies I want him to be familiar with for later!). Otherwise, he just kicks the headphones once or twice. He knows his music!

-He's head down for now. He will switch from facing the left to facing the right, but in the past couple sonograms, he's maintained the head-down position. In two consecutive sonograms, he has been seen holding his feet. It's pretty cool to see his little hands wrapped around his little toes! He's also been seen both times with his hands up near his face - either hiding his face as he sleeps or covering his mouth. Both of these positions he could very well have inherited from his parents!

-Last week, at 28 weeks, he had peach fuzz on his head - with the exception of a little tuft of hair on the back of his head. At that time, he was weighing approximately 3 pounds, 3 ounces. He was measuring a few days ahead of schedule, and his leg & arm lengths put him in the 90th percentile for height (but a centimeter can make a huge difference at this point)! His belly was the smallest part of him - which means I need to eat more - but he's a little parasite and taking lots of nutrients from me! However, at almost 30 weeks this week, my appetite has significantly increased, so eating more should not be a problem! We basically have, at this point, a tall, skinny kid growing in there - not sure where either of those characteristics come from!! - but LOTS can change in the next 10 weeks!

So, I've never met him, but seemingly, I can tell you a lot about him already! It's going to be interesting to see if any of these bits of information stay the same when he's outside of his cozy cocoon! One thing I know for sure is that whoever he is, Sam & I already love him so much!

Comments from Another Mother

I found this great website months ago that allows pregnant women to track their pregnancy in days, to read up on how the baby should be growing, and to read comments from other women who are all due around the same time. I check in every few days to see how the women are doing and what they are experiencing. I'm a little bit of a voyeur, as I don't participate in the postings, but I like to keep up with the women as we "graduate" from one week to the next. It's neat to kind of get to know these ladies and watch them interact with each other. Some of them have had trying pregnancies, some of them ask for advice, some of them talk about their husbands or children, some of them talk about their doctors' appointments or advice they've gotten from their physicians. Early on, it was kind of scary to read as some of the women said goodbye to us with comments like, "My journey ends here," after a miscarriage. Sometimes, I had to make myself stop reading the posts for fear that what happened to these ladies would happen to me. Sometimes, I have felt comforted by their stories, and other times I just enjoy a good laugh about a funny event that they shared.

One woman recently posted a lengthy list of rules that has caught the attention of all the ladies. I thought I'd include it here as a tribute to all moms and moms-to-be. Only one disclaimer: I don't necessarily agree with every single item listed, nor do I experience everything that she lists.

Dear Non-Pregnant Person,
I hope you find these guidelines helpful in your interactions with pregnant women as failing to follow them may result in serious physical harm. If you are thinking, surely she doesn't mean me- then you should probably read this twice.
1) The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is 'Congratulations!' with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you an a$$.
2) Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father- not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase 'my baby'.
3) On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in #2, the pregnancy, birth and raising of the child are not about you. You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it.
4) The body of a pregnant women should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone's stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus, cervix or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman.
5) Likewise, no woman wants to hear comments on her weight- ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about to pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face. Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance and you may not act offended. The only acceptable comment on appearance is 'You look fabulous!'.
6) By the time we are 20-30 years old, most of us have picked up on the fact that the summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don't need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes.
7) There is a reason that tickets to L&D are not yet sold on Ticketmaster. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may sound crazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, MIL or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt and genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents.
8) Like everything else in life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited. This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital and the parents home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to 'help out'. If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it.
9) If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should clean up the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.
10) The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less.
Sincerely,
Pregnant woman

Hmmm... I have mixed opinions about the second half of this posting. I mean, who wouldn't love as much help as they could get? But, on the other hand, I can see why some women would feel annoyed if their homes were being invaded without requesting help. This person mentions on the message board that she has not spoken to her mother-in-law in a couple of years. Apparently, it must have been a pretty horrible situation that she went through with an earlier pregnancy, as you can hear her anger and disapproval. I still found it interesting to read, as I've heard many women experience such invasion of privacy and frustration with family and friends. Again, I'm not saying I've been through this - although I find relief in posting rule #4, 5, and 6! :) I will say, also, that I have an amazing mother and mother-in-law who are quite helpful, and I welcome their help (and some of their advice) and adoring coos for my baby. What do you all think about the woman's post?

You Know You're Pregnant When. . .

• You wake up at 3:30am on a work night and think, "Ugh, it's only 3:30... I'm starving. I can't wait 2 and a half hours to eat!" rather than, "Yea, 2 and a half more hours to sleep!" (I actually had a detailed conversation with myself between my "pregnant" self and my "normal" self... the former saying, "Get up and EAT!!" and the latter saying, "Screw that, go back to sleep!")
• You think you drop something (a cut piece of fruit or a small dribble of cereal, for example) on the floor, but wait... no, it's on your shirt, stuck on your protruding belly. Yea! You don't have to bend down to pick it up!
  
• You just peed, and you wonder how it's already time to go back to the restroom!
• It's just easier to waddle.
• Every other person asks, "How are you feeling?" and actually WANTS to know. They will actually stop for an answer!
  
• Most every person you talk to, at some point, casts eyes on your belly during conversation, trying to catch an unnoticed peek at your bump, even if it's not quite there yet! It reminds me of my mom's observation that people try to sneak a glimpse of her chest when she tells them she had breast cancer. Human nature, I know, but just something I've noticed to be different now that I'm pregnant. My belly (and maybe ever-growing bust size) has taken center stage past my eyes/face.
• Your brain really does lose it's power. I pride myself on the ability to use a wide variety of words. I believe I have a rather vast vocabulary and enjoy using words. Since being pregnant, even early on, I have noticed the inability to express words that are on the tip of my tongue, that I can see in my head but cannot articulate. The word "grasp," for example, was one I was trying to get out of my mouth one day, and all I could do was make a claw! I said, "Clasp... crasp," knowing I had a word for what I wanted to say, but it would not make it's way out of my brain and into my mouth!
• You find yourself wanting to buy every baby book to read up on what you really probably already know about babies. You just want to be prepared, so you keep buying, and you keep reading - determined to start parenthood with a vast artillery of knowledge. . . because even if, like me, you've been around infants since you were 9 years old, worked as a camp counselor for two year olds for years, worked throughout college with infants at a daycare, took every child development class you could in college, and have a master's degree in educational psychology, you just might learn one more thing that could make you a better parent and maybe even save your baby's life one day, right?
  
• You feel the little booger moving around, and you try really hard to hold back a grin in the middle of a meeting. You have a little secret that you want to shout to the world, "I feel my baby!!" but that would be highly inappropriate at that professional meeting.
• You pull into the garage, parking your car right next to your husband's car, the same place where you always have, but all of a sudden - you cannot get your belly to slide past your door to actually exit the car. No matter how hard you try to "suck in," your belly just doesn't go anywhere to give you more space! We've had to actually rearrange how we park our cars in the garage in order for me to be able to open my car door wide enough to let me in and out of the car when Sam's car is in the garage with mine. You also know you're pregnant when stepping into and out of your SUV requires time, patience, and strategy.
• You give up on trying to suck it in altogether. It ain't happenin'!
• You can't see your "nether-regions" which makes... well, never mind, enough said.
  
• Your boobs are one size before going to sleep and another size the next morning - at least it seems that way. You start to think, "What's the point in buying a new bra? I'm going to have to buy another one in a few weeks."
  

I'm sure there will be more items to add to this list in the coming months, but I thought I'd go ahead and get it started. As I wind down my second trimester, I lean in a little nervously to the third trimester wondering what's coming, knowing what's coming, and dreading what's coming! But, I welcome it, as we know that the most important thing coming is my baby boy, which will make any and all uncomfortable third trimester symptoms completely worth it!