A Married Social Life

I know it's been a while since I last posted, but quite honestly, there's been nothing entirely new to write about. Our life has been more of the same - at least more of the same constant busy-ness: work, helping with nephews and niece, cooking for Mom, running errands, cleaning the house, working in the yard, weddings, baby showers, visits to Houston, bachelor/bachelorette parties, bridal showers, giving gifts, keeping Mom company, celebrating Mother's Day, celebrating brother's birthday, catching up on our shows, working unpaid overtime hours, trying new recipes, grocery shopping, waiting for our nephew to be born, counting down til summer break, etc! So, there's really been nothing more to write about. . . until today.

So, we had a meeting at work today, where a few of us were gathered to try to plan an end-of-school year surprise for our students. While meeting, we discussed what dates we could meet together to finalize our plans. Looking at my calendar, I began to get overwhelmed by the busy work schedule, the family obligations, and the social commitments. Work is coming to a slow halt soon - but there's SO much to be done before the kids officially leave for summer break. Mom is doing great - but she has her difficult days/nights and can still need help with the house, the kids, the meals. Sam and I are constantly busy with friends, family, and trying to make time for each other. I started panicking a little just at the upcoming weeks, and I made a comment about this feeling. . . something like, "I'm just feeling overwhelmed at everything going on right now." I went on to talk about the social and familial calendar filling up and how others are probably feeling that way, too. A coworker joked with another coworker saying, "And YOU'RE married!" It is a tone that is hard to convey over a posting like this, but it seemed to imply that a married person wouldn't possibly be as busy as a non-married person. I don't think I was reading into it incorrectly, as a different coworker agreed with my interpretation.

It got me thinking, though. . . . well, doesn't EVERYTHING get me thinking?! Anyway, I started realizing that I am often overwhelmed by how my social life increased by leaps and bounds since I got married. It's somewhat naive to think that a person who gets married will "settle down" when, in fact, things have really "picked up" since "I do." Well... before that really, but you get the point.

Since Sam and I started living together, we had a LOT more friends to spend our time with: mine AND his. We have three different sides of the family now: Mom's, Dad's, and Sam's. I not only get invited to MY friends' weddings, showers, parties, but I get invited to HIS friends' weddings, showers, parties. If I get invited to a Bar Mitzvah - that means SAM gets invited to a Bar Mitzvah. We are an "us" now - we have OUR friends and family - which at the very least doubled the events in which we each participate.

Don't get me wrong! I LOVE our friends and family and every second we spend with them all! Time flies by so quickly, though, and before we know it - weeks have flown by and we have had no time to ourselves. We're helping Mom, we're taking care of the kids, we're at a Couple's Night, we're at a shower, we're spending weekends apart helping different friends celebrate different events, we're cooking dinner with the family, we're getting ready for a high school graduation, and so on. Again - NOT COMPLAINING! I'm just trying to make the point that for someone to think that being married means I've "settled down," is beyond misinformed.

I remember when Sam moved home and we had 3 big events in one weekend. I remember saying to him, "Our lives just got way busier!" I loved having so many functions and parties. I loved spending time with friends and family so often and in different venues. It's just a lot - especially for someone who savors alone time - time to rejuvenate and just reflect on life either alone or just with Sam. When my life continues to be so busy, I do tend to get overwhelmed - needing time alone to gather my thoughts. I can't forget that I'm an individual - an individual who needs "me" time, or at least some kind of down time.

So, in closing, I guess my point is that I've learned yet another societal misconception. The world has it wrong when married people are thought of as having slowed down or settled down. Married life is booming with social interaction. Always, I feel fortunate. Most often, it's fun and entertaining. Sometimes, it's overwhelming. Yet, never, would I want it any other way.