This most recent goodbye all began this past Saturday night, when the boys spent the night at my mom's house. In the middle of the night, Banner woke up looking for his blue pacifier (the one he keeps at her house). Grandma helped him look everywhere around the bed (in, under, behind), and they just couldn't find it. They discussed other solutions - including using substitute pacifiers of Quinn's (but he only had one) or Levi's (but Banner didn't want purple, he wanted blue!). Finally, Mom told him to try to get back to sleep while she went to check on finding another pacifier. Apparently, she never heard from him until morning! Then, at his nap time there the following day, they still hadn't found it, so he had to take his nap without a paci. He didn't sleep long, but he did sleep. We, therefore knew, that he COULD do this.
Later that evening, at home, we tried to stall giving him his pacifier. He kept asking, and we kept telling him that he had done well without it at Grandma's house. Since he has his own pacifier here at home, he knew good and well it hadn't been lost here. So, we went ahead and gave it to him, but Sam had planned to take it from him in the middle of the night and recreate what had happened at Grandma's. When he went to check on him (and to take it), Banner was sucking on it, so our plan was out. We let him have this one last night with his beloved pacifier.
The following morning, Sam told Banner it was time to put the pacifier away (just like every other morning). Banner, in typical fashion, reluctantly and begrudgingly gave Sam his paci. Sam told me where he put it, but we decided it was time to say goodbye, and we knew we'd have to intervene. So, later that day, when Banner came home from camp, I told Banner that I didn't know where Daddy had put it. I told him I'd looked everywhere and that I didn't know where it was after I changed all the sheets and made everyone's bed that morning. He was bummed, and he even said, "I will come help you find it. I'm really good at finding things." I said that was a great idea, but it was nap time and we could look later. He took about 20 minutes to fall asleep (about 19 minutes longer than usual after camp!), but he did fall asleep, and I even had to wake him from nap. I've heard naps are harder than bedtime, so with that in mind, I felt okay about continuing with the idea that we couldn't find his paci. But, just to be sure that we weren't turning back, I cut a small hole in his pacifier and hid it under the bed in my room. I hope he finds it, actually, and we can explain that it's broken now (perhaps it got crushed by the bed frame?). . . but there's no turning back!
Banner didn't have a "great" night last night, but he did fall asleep without the paci (maybe an hour later than usual), and he did sleep until 7:00ish, with several wakings in between. He earned some chocolate in the morning, and he seemed really proud of himself. After a good nap at my mom's house sans paci, I am convinced he can do this. It's difficult, and he keeps asking for it, but it's SO time to say goodbye.
SO.... Tonight, I was making dinner, and we heard a tap at the door. My hands were dirty, so I didn't rush to answer it. I also may have known who it was. Banner said to go answer it, but I said I thought it was just the delivery man bringing us more diapers. About an hour later, it was time for bath, but before Sam put the already-naked boys in the tub, I mentioned going to get that delivery on the porch. Banner wanted to come with me, of course, so I let him open the door with me . . . I was NOT the one who let him go naked onto the porch, but he did, and I got a picture of it! :) He saw his name on the box right away: "It's a delivery for ME!"
He then opened the letter and saw the name at the bottom and said, "IT'S FROM FONTINA!" He was one big, bright smile! He was excited to see what she wrote and what might be in the box. Daddy read the note to Banner, and then we opened it together. Inside was a small, plush digger . . . a backhoe to be exact. Banner even said, "It's a lovey!" (This boy has NEVER taken to loveys. His pacifiers were his loveys - so taking them away has been excruciating. I have tried lovey after lovey, and he's never bonded with anything but pacifiers. I'm hoping this backhoe is the exception!) As Banner played with his new friend, he made my favorite comment of the night: "Fontina sure knows me!" Later in the evening, when I was getting him ready for bed, he said, "Mommy, is Fontina pretty?" I told him I've never seen her, so I didn't know. He asked, "Is she nice?" I said I figured she might be since she gives him all these nice gifts! He said, "I bet she's pretty." Oh, so sweet, that boy! And, when he later saw the chocolate coins on his bed, he said, "Mommy, look! Melt!" I said, "You mean, gelt?" And he said, "Yes, gelt, from Fontina!!" She had snuck in again to put some chocolate surprises around his toy! And now, as I type, Banner is still trying to put himself to sleep. He's just hanging out with his new pal that was already named "Jack the Backhoe." (Banner wants to name him something else, but the name keeps changing from something like Su-Shok, then it was Bee-shok, and then it changed to something unspellable, so we'll see what sticks later.)
While Banner was in the tub, I put his "back-up" paci in the small keepsake bag with his other two friends, "white paci" and "brown paci". I can't bear to throw them out. I'm glad to be done with these, and I'm proud of Banner. But I may have gotten slightly teary as I joined "blue paci" with the others. My baby's growing up, and this goodbye marks the end of a long road with these pacifiers. Banner has had pacifiers since he was 2 weeks old. 3 years later, we are saying goodbye. I'm glad Fontina's helping us celebrate and mark the end of this era. . . . and, we just might see her again (sooner than later!) when Quinn's ready to say farewell to his pacis!
Here are some pics from the night... pardon the nakedness.
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| "It's a delivery for ME! It says my name on it." |
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| Banner got a little excited and tore the note a little. |
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| He played with "Jack" right away! |
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