But, now that their wedding has come and gone, I'm suffering from a bit of post-wedding-blues. I miss her weekend, almost like I miss my own wedding. I can't stop replaying the details, and I kinda want to do it all over again!! What a fun, fantastic, fabulous weekend it was - and it all went so smoothly!
Here are a few of my favorite weekend moments:
- By far, my absolute favorite moment was at the Ketubah signing. The rabbi asked Kira & Erick to stand on opposite sides of the room. He then asked Kira's family and friends to surround her and Erick's family and friends to surround him. Standing as part of Kira's family/friend circle, I felt a strong bond with everyone there, and I loved our family being a support for her. I will never forget that moment. The rabbi asked that we share words of advice and wisdom with Kira while we surrounded her. There she was, looking absolutely gorgeous, holding back tears, taking it all in. As I heard the familiar voices of my loved ones calling out loving words to one of my favorite people, I couldn't help but be overwhelmed by emotion. She looked at me at one point - again, as she was trying to breathe and take it all in - and we both teared up. "We're always here for you," "Just breathe," "Live in the moment," "Take in the sights, the smells, the sounds," "Remember who you are and where you came from," were some of the phrases I remember hearing. Mostly, it was an overwhelmingly powerful moment - to just take a pause in the chaos that surrounds a big wedding - and to feel the support and the embrace from a (literally) tight family circle.
- As I wrote about in Banner's 15 month newsletter, one of my favorite moments was when we all walked into the ballroom, right before walking down the aisle. The wedding party was hidden behind beautiful white curtains, and we had just left the emotional Ketubah signing. Before we lined up in the proper order, Kira, Mom, and I held each others' hands, and the string quartet's music overwhelmed me and Kira with emotion. We looked at each other, again, and teared up, again! We quickly had to distract ourselves to stop the tears and to preserve our make-up! :) I found Sam who was holding Banner, and he was so quiet. He was calm and somber. At one point, I peeked outside to the hallway to thank my sisters-in-law for helping with Banner - I knew I wouldn't see them after Banner walked down the aisle and then was escorted out of the ceremony room. When I came back in, Banner and I made eye contact, and his poor little face looked so sad - bottom lip completely protruding into a full pout. I quickly went to reassure him that I was staying; I bounced and rocked him and tried to be upbeat to avoid a meltdown - which worked. But, then, a few moments later, a much more melancholy song was played, and he once again shoved his lower lip out and tears lined his eyelids. Honestly, the only reason I think this happened was because he was so overcome by the music. I know that sounds crazy - because he's so young, but he loves music and responds to it. We were all in the moment, and I think Banner was, too. I think he knew it was an important event, that this particular instant was beautiful and serene. I was the last to walk down the aisle in front of Banner, so I missed half of his walk, but he did fantastic - no tears, no complaining, no venturing off the aisle-runner. He was spot on! He made me so proud.
- I loved rehearsal dinner - all of it! The food was great, the company was fantastic, and the speeches were amazing. I liked giving my speech (which I posted previously), I liked listening to how others love my sister and her then-fiance. I loved learning more about Erick, and I was so proud to be a part of the night. I especially loved Erick's little sister, Jacque's, speech. She was emotional speaking about her brother, as was her older sister, Nancy, and their mom. Watching their family, I had a new understanding and appreciation for why MY little sister loves this family so much. I'm pleased and relieved to know (even though I knew this a long time ago) that my sister is becoming part of such a loving, close family. I "MC-ed" the rehearsal dinner, and as much as I hate being in front of others - I was happy to do it for my sister, and I kind of got the knack of it after a while. I loved knowing that Kira & Erick liked the video I made for them, as well. It was good to share it with everyone there.
- The week before the wedding, Erick, his sisters, his nieces, Mom, Mischelle, Mara, and I got together to rehearse a surprise dance performance. Long story short - one of our family's favorite television shows growing up was The Cosby Show, and one of our all-time favorite episodes is the "Anniversary" episode, where the family is celebrating Dr. Huxtable's parents. The family does a dance, where Rudy stars front and center lip sinking her heart out. Well, we decided this would be a great surprise for Kira, and Erick was a willing participant. After coordinating our many hectic schedules, we got together at my house to learn the dance moves and put the whole surprise together. I really enjoyed practicing; I really enjoyed getting to goof off with Erick's sisters and nieces. The actual performance went well - Caden played the first male part, and Erick surprised Kira by joining our performance at the very end. Our dance didn't look as perfect as it had the day before or even the week before during rehearsals, but it was fun, and the look on Kira's face was priceless. I think in the heat of the moment and with all the excitement, we kinda blew it on our counts and our dance line was way off - but who cares! The kids did great, and we had fun. That's all that matters, right?
- I sang at the wedding. This is not necessarily a favorite memory, but it's worth mentioning here because, well... I sang. In front of people. In front of people without Kira. FOR Kira. Here's what I said for my toast:
Good evening, everyone! For
those of you who don’t know me, my name is Amber, and I am Kira’s sister and
Erick’s sister-in-law. Years ago, I met Erick shortly after he started dating Kira.
She introduced him to my family at an art gallery where she had a singing gig.
It was the perfect venue that brought together their two passions – art and
music. These newlyweds are some of the most creative people I know, and that’s
a good thing because marriage is an opportunity to create. This night is only a
glimpse into what amazing things this beautiful couple will create. I don’t want to tell stories
or give advice, you heard enough of that last night. I want to cut right to the
chase and tell you, Erick, that you are one lucky guy! I’ve lived with Kira for
27 of her 30 years. She was my first roommate, she has been through every major
and minor milestone in my life, she’s grown up right along side me, and she’s
sung the soundtrack of my life. In fact, she’s added melody and harmony to a
lot of people’s lives. She’s serenaded brides and grooms in our family, held
our newborns at their baby namings and blessed them with song, sat at our
bedsides with a special tune when we were sick or fighting disease, rocked our
little ones to sleep with her sweet, calming voice, and even lulled my
grandfather as he took his last breaths. In a letter Kira wrote to my son, she
quoted: “Music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it
rest, heals the heart and makes it whole, and flows from heaven to the
soul.” To me, Kira is the music, and I’m certain Erick feels the same way
tonight. She’s always the one entertaining others. I thought about serenading
Kira tonight, standing up here and singing like she always does for everyone
else, but if I were going to do that, I’d need her to coach me and tell me when
to use my chest voice, when to use my head voice, or when to use less vibrato.
I’d need weeks of training to even come close to sounding as good as one of
Kira’s “bad” notes. If I were to sing, I would have selected a song that thanks
Kira for all the joy she’s brought to my life, the gifts she’s given me by
being MY teacher, how proud of her I am. Oh, what the hell… I’ll sing. But, I’m
warning you, the only audience I’ve had is a 14 month old boy who stares at
anyone who utters any kind of melody. So, Kira… go easy on me!
- Another favorite memory was during the Hora, a Jewish circle dance. Typically, after the bride and groom are lifted into the air on chairs, the parents of the bride and groom are also lifted, as the community celebrates their joy with them. Both the groom's father and the bride's father were not in attendance during this dance - for different reasons I won't get into in this post. . . but, anyway, instead, both mothers were lifted at the same time. It's a rare image - to see only the moms, but I absolutely loved this. I was a tad bit emotional watching these strong women celebrate together - as all the guests cheered, clapped, and danced around them. Up and down their chairs went, and all I could think about was how rewarding that must be for them after raising their kids so right through hardships and struggles. I thought of how much they both have given to their children and how they did it mostly alone. What survivors these amazing women are, and what a fabulous tribute to them. I will remember the image of my mom bouncing in her chair along side Lucy, Erick's mom, and I will forever feel gratitude, pride, and love for both of them.
- Lastly, I will always remember the few moments alone with Kira as we exchanged gifts to each other before we had our hair and make-up done that morning. I took Kira aside, into the room next door, and I handed her a card and a small gift. The gift was a book called Big Sister, Little Sister that Mom used to read to us when we were little. I wrote a note inside, too, and she teared up reading it - which made me tear up. Then, it was my turn to open a surprise gift she got me. It was a Willowtree statuette of two grown sisters walking and talking together. They walked holding hands, and I immediately burst into tears. The weird thing is, I had looked for one of these Willowtree figures a few weeks before, and I couldn't find a sisters piece other than the one Kira and I already have of two young girls playing. So, to see this figurine was perfect, and it reminded me that Kira and I will always walk hand-in-hand no matter what our futures bring. I went into the ugly cry as I held her close to me. I was SO glad I hadn't had my make-up done yet or it would have been completely ruined! I will always remember that hug and how much love I felt (and always feel) for her.
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